Unmask The Man


A ladies only event this Friday 6.30pm at the Mavono Dome. Ladies, please come with all your girlfriends and let’s have a great evening together!


54 Responses to “Unmask The Man”

  1. Hi Ladies! Let me start by saying that mavuno has changed my perspective on church and i feel like it really relates on our day to day challenges. I cant wait to finally unmask that man!
    My question is this: I have been seeing this man for around 2 years but it started as a friendship with benefits deal. One year into the deal i started having “feelings” for him and i havent told him about it yet. Its now 2 years and the feelings keep getting stronger till i can see myself settling down with him in future. Am freaked out about telling him coz he might still be on with the benefits thing. Whats confusing is that he shows me alot of affection and calls me all those sweet names (si you know them!), we go on dates, buys gifts, etc. By the way before we started the benefits deal we were close platonic friends for 3 years with no kind of “funny” feelings between us. So whats the deal here? Should i go ahead and tell him how i feel ama wot? I would appreciate it if we would discuss this at the unmasking. God bless!


  2. Hi;
    Cant wait to come for the unmask the man, its gonna be fun. my question, have been in this relationship for 6 yrs now, we ended up living together and we were not saved at that time, now am born again, he is not. we dont have any children together and we have paid dowry but he stopped at that. we were to have a wedding but he has refused, says its too expensive. for the last 2 years he has been having numerous relationships with many different women. Do men ever change from being players and how can i get to have a wedding coz i want to be married officially or in this case do we have a future or i leave him?
    i do understand that i made a big mistake going to stay with a man without a church wedding now i regret is there hope for me and what do i do?


  3. Zil, one of the things i know for sure is that as you seek God to have a relationship with Him, he will lead you to live an honest & truthful life according to His word.It is true what they say the truth does set you free, you could tell him and like most guys be shocked that the rules changed and he didnt know and probably call it off or like another couple i know who started like that and now are married coz one person decided to be honest.Unlike guys who can truly have this friends with benefit deal in the bag and not worry about it, women are wired differently as Pastor C said we were wired to feel the need for love and if most women were honest those benefits always lead them to think they are in love or the guy loves them.For men its just different, i believe.I would encourage you to find out what the bible says of such kind of relationship because the bible is the word of God then ask God to help you live true to His word and for sure the rest will follow.ALso if you dont already come with they guy to church, invite him next sunday am sure the sermon will open the topic for conversation afterwards.

    Merc, am worried that despite you knowing of his other relationship you do want to legally marry him knowing that it doesnt guarantee you that his behaviour will change, only God can change him.I know six years is trully a long time to be with someone but God trully wants the best for His children, for those who seek Him and live to obey Him.I do believe not all men are players and that is an excuse we women should stop using , no one is perfect but their are some behaviours……Have an honest discussion with him and trust what comes out of it to base your decision. Also invite him to church if he doesnt come with you and this is just the best time.
    Ladies, am just a woman and this are my humble opinions.Will pray for you 2 and may our good God give you wisdom, direction and strength to live according to His will.
    God bless.


  4. Hi Ladies
    am looking foward to unmask the man!!!


  5. Hi y’all. I can’t believe only 4 people have written in…

    I am totally excited about the event this Friday. I think i’ll be coming alone but i’m still very very excited about it.

    Questions..? I’ve got tonnes! I read the book “He’s just not THAT into you” which tries to explain why men act they way they do. Instead of making me understand and get him figured out, it left me feeling like a loser-chic-fumbling-around-in-competitive-manly-icy-emotionless-planet.

    So, when i come on Friday, i think i’m coming with one fundamental question: Can we really unmask him or is it a waste of time trying to understand him? Should i throw my hands in the air and say “God, ni wewe unayejua yote…shauri Yako cause You created them…?”

    Answers or not, i’m convinced it will be fun trying to do this.


  6. Hey Ladies;
    I tend to agree with B why have u not blogged? I can’t wait for the event.
    Am almost in the same situation with Merc, am in a relationship with this man whom hav dated for the last 5yrs, we stay in the same house but not married in church. He sleeps ard n I tend to think he has a problem coz hes always traveling and he has flings every country he goes to. We had had a solid discussion but he promises he will stop he even crys sayin he dint mean it. It’s been 3 yrs of that life but now when I found Jesus I just want to have a straight life. should I leave this man coz he doesn’t want to come to church, he doesn’t want a church wedding he says we r married bcoz we hav a signed affidavit and he has paid dowry and if am to leave him do I become a divorced woman and pastor M said when u get divorced u r not liable to marry. We do not have children as per yet.
    God bless you all, have a nice day


  7. Transporter Says:

    will transport be provided to and from church? if so, how much will it cost?


  8. Will transport be provided? if so, at what cost?


  9. Ladies, dont we have issues:-) at this rate we shall need to have our day of early morning prayers like the one men have. But i do thank God, even in all this confusing state of minds/life that we have the bible and the Holy Spirit to guide us, i believe they hold all the answers.tuzidi kuomba, asking for Wisdom galore.


  10. Hi, I dont know whether this applies to ‘unmasking the man’ or ‘unmasking myself’ but now that we are at it, lets get it on… Am born again n’ involved with this terrific dude (with issues here n’ there like all of ’em)… We have purposed to uphold God’s commands n’ avoid ‘illegal’ stuff like ‘getting some’ n’ chilling until ‘The Day’… Unfortunately, we get carried away sometimes (especially wen we havent seen each other for long) n’ are left with the trauma/guilt of disobeying God n’ its really ‘yuck’ How can one PRACTICALLY keep off that road until we settle down; especially wen the hormones are all over the place? seriously… will appreciate your thoughts…


  11. Deidre I agree with you that “keeping off” in dating is like the hardest thing to do. I used to question why God he gave me these raging and unconrollable emotions at the wrong time. Just like I would say to Dee focus on PURPOSE .And remember he is your SOURCE.When you feel you can’t make it. Look up to the source.
    Dee I feel you. I know what it means to know that your man has been with another woman because I have gone thru the same..Just to encourage you, focus on purpose.Begin to seek God with all your heart and all your strength.Even when you don’t feel like. As you begin to do this God will reveal to you about this man..if he is meant to be or not.Remember this verse… Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousnes and all these things will be added unto you.Also remember that he will give you perfect peace whose mind is stayed on him
    As for me, I also have issues like from here to Timbaktu..Married women, how do you submit to a husband when everthing he does or dosent do is all wrong. I mean alcoholic,indisciplined spendthrfit lazy etc.
    Pastor C am sure that as much as you had issues with submission there were not as bad as they sometimes can get.
    Finally I agree with Jade.We ought to have a ladies prayer day even if it’s once a month.


  12. im really looking forwad to this friday and hanging out with the galz
    to be honest i can almost feel the pain we women experience at the hands of men,we stay in relationships thah hurt and harm us at the expense of our own joy

    is it that we arre so afraid of being loney?…that we may really never find the guy who trully cares about us so were stuck in a rut with men who somethimes cheat on us ,disrespect us etc

    im not dating but when i do it will be with a man who honors me and treats me well….ones whos sensitive loving and God fearing……………

    were u guys in church wen pastor M was saying at times we think the jamaa who will get me will be a lucky dude?
    God is working in my life and revealing to me his ways as i trust in him and soak in his word i know in my heart i will have a happy one

    i hope this friday we can talk about self esteem,hamful relationships ,how to deal with abusive men and how to have a happy relationship and warning signs to watch out for,how close should ur man relate to ur women friends?……..


  13. Hi Ladies, reading this gets one thinking really hard. I just have one thing to ask. Are the relationships we’re talking about right in the eyes of the Lord. I guess we all know the answer to that, we cannot compromise God asking him to come to our rescue for ungodly behavior. We need to go back to the basics in the Bible, the 10 commandments and purpose. As for friends with benefits thats tried and tested, what are the benefits? are they Godly – again we know the answer – we need to rise above this. Its painful to start undoing what we’ve done for years or months and the INVESTMENT (as we call it) we’ve made. Its an investment that will lead us straight to hell on fast track. I’ve been there done that bought the t-shirt ripped it and guess what its all heartbreak and chaos. We are scared of being lonely, getting the call at those moments, being the odd one out who’s not hitched, being the odd one out on valentines (especially now in Feb a Friend with Benefits is important yeah?) but guess what your self esteem, your self worth and the presentation of yourself are all trampled on as you live this life. Once you discover the source of love and what it feels to have unfailing and faithful love you will want to be in a relationship with someone who is on the right track with you. I’ve done it and i’m fulfilled you will lose some friends along the way you will gain others but you will be headed to the Kingdom as a child of God white as snow. We need to present ourselves as pure infront of the Lord confess our sins and remember he died for us to enjoy Kingdom benefits. Earthly benefis will perish and we will perish with them. I promise just like marriage sorting yourself out wont be easy but its doable and the end result is peace and joy like you’ve never known. I will miss unmasking the man and thats painful. As for the ladies prayer day its a good suggestion but let us not have a prayer day as a mask as we do all the wrong things. This whole message from Jan to date ties into Finding Your True North and sorting ourselves out. Its a great experience. Pastor M, Pastor C, and the whole Mavuno Leadership its a Thumbs up for the work done. Im tempted to ask where were you 10 years ago. YOu should see the lists we had about The ONE, Submission etc etc. You’ve opened raw wounds but we’re grateful we are healing through the sermons. For the single ones – this is a gem you’ve found treasure it and make the right choice. Its all about choices and now you know. For the married ones you’re blessed to experience this in the right context of a relationship of honor before God.

    Gals lets go back to Bible 101 – lets respect it before we cry out.

    Read : James 5 : 16


  14. ha! i cat afford to miss this one, i want to unmask these men and know why they behave the way they do, and what their actions really mean..

    its really frustratiing when u cant really get what a man means.. talk about being slow.. some of us r just too sloooooowww… by the time u get what he means.. he is so gone, and at that time, u r feeling him..waaaaaaaaaaaa


  15. Hey girls,i hope il make it for Unmask the man.I thought i was the only one struggling with the ‘friends with benefits’ thing.Is it just me or did all the men decide theres just too much candy in the shop and that we have no right to demand that we should be the only ones?Pastor M was right about our great need to feel loved because thats what i longed for..i got a cold reality check when the feelings checked in instead and he got a replacement,or two.It hurt.Im puzzled,how can men stay so detached even after being intimate with them for over a year?& Why do men turn the best of us into needy puppies?I recently rededicated my life to God & i want to live a pure life,how is it possible having been ‘active’ in the past & with the hormones having wild little parties now & then?..All in all,how should christians date?..Since all iv known is one coffee date,followed by hanyes,it gets physical very fast and then the end is nigh…Im glad mavuno is tackling practical issues because they are the things that affect our walk with Christ.God bless!


  16. Hey,I haven’t seen any answer as regards to the transport.like the mizizi one.we’re willing to pay.all of my girls and i are bila cars and we’re not assured of getting mats from south c at that time.getting transport at least to town at night is the only way we can come.


  17. Id also like to come with my girls but transport is also an issue for us after the event because it will be late.


  18. Hey ladies,

    Thank you for all your wonderful responses, I can already tell you that this will be an event like no other.

    @ deanne, transport & transporter, please give me an indication of the number of people who need transport, then we can make arrangements.

    Feel free to mail any suggestions to amani@mavunochurch.org


  19. Hi Ladies, i wanted to post my comment days ago but I thought to myself, let me not be the first .One of the things that really disturbs me is this issue of abstinence. A few months back, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, reason being- he had started to demand sex. From the oncet of our relationship we had agreed to chill till the day we got married. But ofcourse there was all the cuddling, petting e.t.c. He must have changed his mind about the decision somewhere along the way but I wasn’t going to change mine too so I hit the road.

    Looking back, it hit me that that was basically the same reason I broke up with my first boyfriend, though we had only dated for a couple of months. At times I look around me and I think that I’m the only one who’s not getting some. The question that bothers me though is, what are the chances of meeting a nice decent guy who won’t give me that kind of pressure? And worse still, what are the chances that this same guy won’t have been around the block. . .? Bear in mind that I’m 26. Will I just keep breaking up with jamaaz, coz in my experience they are bound to want it sooner or later (mostly sooner).
    Or is this an indicator that I have been called to spinsterhood? (GOD FORBID)

    I re- dedicated my life to God just recently but I’m not well versed with what the word says concerning some of these things. Ofcourse I acknowledge that I’ve had a part to play in this and I’m not sayin I’m blameless.

    I would really appreciate you sheddin some light on this.


  20. Hi Ladies,

    I am a virgin at 31, and some people think I have lost it, but I made a choice to wait for the right person because my body is God’s temple. However, it hasnt been an easy road to walk, talk about being ridiculed, talk about my ex-boyfriends saying things that would break my heart. There was this one guy I loved but I wasnt sure I wanted to get married to him after going out for about two years but the pressure to “do it” was strong and seeing I was unsure about the future of our relationship, I explained to him that I wouldnt compromise. For a long time I wondered if I had done the right thing.

    I look back at all these boyfriends who I have had to let go of and they have a healthy respect for me. However, now that I want to settle down and have a family, I know that there is no perfect man out there. I wonder if I made the right choice of leaving, should I have gotten married then?


  21. Gosh Christy, i think you’re reading my mind. I feel like you and i are somehow in the same boat as i’m also a virgin and have gone through my fair share of ridicule and broken relationships. I know it’s not easy.


  22. what does friendship with Benefits mean?


  23. Ladies, it’s a high time we stop and look at ourselves in the mirror. The reasons as to why we experience broken relationships are many e.g. not defining the mission of involving ourselves, understanding who we really are, what we are made of, reading the bible to get to know what God expects of us, disrespect, not loving ourselves and the list is endless. I hv gone through the many comments I’ve read from the above. But I had to look back and find myself and define who I am. Men have been taking advantage of ladies, because we allow them to. Women have the power to say “NO” or “YES”. Men will always go for what we allow. Read the bible and get to know what God speaks about abstinence and that everything has it’s time and season. It’s not easy to do what is right, but through God’s Grace, Wisdom and Knowledge of his word all things are possible. Ladies let’s do the right things at the right time and according to God’s purpose and Will.

    Pursue to know God first, love Him and all this things shall follow at His time.

    God bless you all and take God care of yourselves.


  24. cherie baibe Says:

    I would like us to discuss “How do you know he is the right man for you?”


  25. Hi, am single girl who in my wildest dreams had never thot Id be single at this point in my life. Pr.M I remember you saying that being single is a gift ; lakini what happens wen u get a gift you dont really like?,and you dont really know wat to do with it? 🙂

    That is the dilemma am facing.

    The other thing is the fact that we get this bunch of feelings pretty early in our lives , only to have to struggle with the chilling till marriage for the next many years. What is that about? Its like being given candy that you can only unwrap n taste so many years later. Isnt that kinda cruel?

    The sermons in Mavuno are really timely , though at this point am not sure what the point of it all is. Am scared of letting go of the stuff,relationships etc from my past (I was saved like 9yrs ago but backslid at some point n have only recently done the prodigal daughter move 🙂 ) . My hugest challenge is a r/ship Ive been having with a married dude for the last almost 3yrs. Wen we 1st begun, I thot I had everything in control,that I wld walk away wen I felt like it, but Iv gotten more attached to him than I anticipated.Leaving him is proving to be an unexpectedly HUGE challenge. My will is proving not enuff for me to leave him n move on.The more I promise myself that i’ll leave him the more I cling on. The problem is that every guy I meet since just seems to fall short, so I have been unable to move on with anyone else. Why do married guys have such an appeal?

    I need to feel assured that what am struggling to leave behind will be replaced by something much better.I need help so badly …

    Pr.C , I eagerly await the Unmasking ceremony. Please address the concerns I have mentioned above.


  26. Hi prs. M & C. I have attended every one of the series since Jan. Its been really helpful and Ive received loads of good info (and a bit of disillusionment as well :-)). God bless you for opening up the way u have been doing.

    I have read all these blogs n listened to most of my married girl friends. In all this I have come to the conclusion that married or not , ladies seem to be destined to always catch the shorter end of the stick. Anything negative surrounding marriage is viewed by society as the woman’s fault. Be it divorce ,childlessness, the man’s unfaithfulness, being unmarried after age 30 etc …

    How can a woman have a fulfilling life? I mean, women feel lonely when thy’r unmarried , most get even lonelier after they get married. Or is all this the punishment for Eve’s sin?


  27. Hey gals,

    Having read through the comments posted… i have come to the conclusion that every lady needs an individual session on ‘unmasking me’. I think it is important for each lady to take sometime to find out who they are? What values they stand for? What makes them happy? What fulfills them? Am not even talking christian..am talking about morality!
    about what is right! How can we unmask the man if we do not know who we are? if we do not know what we want in life? If we do not know what we stand for? is someone with me on this…

    to borrow a cliche, a man should not be in your life to fulfill you but to compliment you…

    As for the ladies who are waiting till marriage – keep at it… i know it hard and there is alot of pressure..(i was there) however you are doing the right thing…Don’t let anybody make you feel ashamed of remaing pure…infact most people and especially men will respect you for it!


  28. Barnice,

    I concur with you. As much as we’re “unmasking the man”, ladies need to “unmask themselves”. Ladies, let us identify who we are, are made of, what we want, our limits and boundaries e.t.c. Most of all what does God expects of us?After all this, we’ll be in a postion to appreciate and understand to “Unmask the man”.

    God has called us to be Holy, for He is Holy. It’s not an easy journey to practice holiness, but through God’s great Grace we can make it.

    Remember our bodies are the temple of God and we ought to take care of this precious temple that is God given.


  29. Christian Gal Says:

    Hi Ladies,

    I would like to challenge us to look at ourselves through God’s eyes… What does He see when He looks at you and me?

    A lovely lady made in God’s image
    A beautiful woman
    A woman made for Him first
    Someone precious
    The apple of his eye

    It is only when we value ourselves as God values us that we can have fulfilling lives.

    I think that as long as we view ourselves as objects made for men, we set ourselves up to be second class species, but the Bible says that I am made in God’s Image ; I look like God.

    I would challenge us all to seek earnestly the One who calls us Beloved so that we may find our security in Him.

    Ladies. God loves us so much and we need to fall in love with Him first and that time spent with Him will enable us to have a clearer vision of our lives. As you get closer to God, the ugly things in your life just have to melt away and you become a gift to the spouse that God has given you.

    Your priorities sould be as follows:
    1. God
    2. You.
    3. Relationships (Spouse, kids, friends in that order)
    4. Work
    5. Service (Church, volunteering etc)

    How can you love others if you don’t love yourself first?

    Have some ‘me’ time everyday and just take time so that life doen’t pass you by. Use money to create experiences for you that will last a lifetime.

    You are loved by God!

    Christian Gal…. (Oops…I almost wrote my real name)


  30. Pastor C can’t wait for unmasking the man session.,ma gals have issues and have invited my ten galfriends .
    Kindly adress merc and dee issues am in the same situation.I believe God loves us and he is against divorce.
    Merc ,have been in your shoes and i feel you have lived with my fiancee for two years now after dating for five years.Then i was not saved ,but I thank God for saving me as i was always in and out of hospitals coz of ulcers as ma fiancee has been exchanges love messages with his x galfriend.I came to know the day i went through his phone , Maybe i won’t have known if i did see the text.
    Pastr C,since he feels he has paid dowry and he doesn’t want a church wedding simply because he doesn’t like wedding..Thats the reason he gives me…

    iThe previous sermon with Pastor M encouraged me that i tld God to work on me as i pray for him .,,Because God is the only one who can chnge him..
    Sinlge women just know God loves you becasue God is using his servants to instill word of wisdom ………before you start dating.


  31. last yr, i was thinking .. really thinking of doing away with this virginity.. for real, i have abstained all my life.. 27 yrs is such a along time. anyway thanks for the encouragement, 31 and still abstaining… congrates gal.. am still not over the issue, i want this virginity thing off. tho i cant get myself to having sex at all coz am so damn scared for AIDS.. thats so bad.Everyday i wake up (thats from this yr ) i ask God to hold me just one more day. am not sure am gonna make it till i say i do, coz i dont know when that wll be..and that really worries me alot.

    most of my pals r married or r tieing the knot this yr, and man! am so scared.. that i wil have no body to hang around with..anyway..iwill take things as they come.. (happens when u dont have control)

    the issue is dating.. why is it that i attract the wrong guys.. i cant seriously remeber the last time i was hit on by a saved guy.. for real.. am hit on by such unsaved guys and this is worrying me.. its sed, like attract like, but i dont think its true,really, am a God loving gal, go to my home church( am not a member of mavuno…but am coming for this sermon),am active in church, so why do i attract this boys.. or ok, still hit on by christian men, who just dont have a vision. i cant stand that.. i have been labelled choosy.. which i am, i cant refuse. i cant go out with just anybody…. coz they r saved, but am now getting worried, 28 is coming,then next yr.. but one.. oh my

    i have issues..

    i hope something will be tackled


  32. hey Gals,

    realling all the comments, I can only say ‘I cannot wait to be at the dome this evening’…should be so great!!!


  33. Hey Amani,they haven’t all given a solid confirmation so i’m not sure but there’s me and two others.


  34. Hey Amani,they haven’t all given a solid confirmation so i’m not sure but there’s me and two others.i will definitely be coming though,even if i’m alone.:-D


  35. Hey all ye fine ladies

    im visting Mavuno bt nontheless ave invited a galfriend from jobo along
    Hitch is she lives in Ngong and we both aint driving woiyee if any of u lives in Ngong and can give her aa lift pliz let us know (text)
    0721569970…i feel responsible

    im from imara daima myself but i guess as long as its before 10 usiku i can get a mathree….
    see u all


  36. Unmasking not only the man, but the Christian:

    We must find a way to de-mystify the Bible. It feels like too many people are resistant to salvation because of the cost of what would inevitably have to be given up. The pleasures of the world have infiltrated our way of thinking so much that it has become hard to let go of.
    This is called “dumbing it down”; having desensitised evil to the point that now it is acceptable. Swearing, pornography, habitual alcohol abuse. I see the trauma being allowed to manifest in the youth and I feel something must be done. Especially because I have been there before; the sex, the drugs, the alcohol, the total disregard for responsibility or authority. We have become an individualistic society, due to the lack of role models and with few people taking a stand.
    “…a city on a hill cannot be hidden.” Mathew 5:14. What happened to the courageous Christian? At some point I feel Christians try too hard, and instead of taking Christ to the world, we take the world and bring it to Christ! And this difference is sometimes difficult to detect. The line is thin. Because of desensitisation…the world has camouflaged its darkness. But we are not blind; we are afraid to take the stand.
    Because we have gotten saved, we are not meant to go through struggle because, to the world, we come off as weak. But who’s perception do you seek after? For the world will hate you regardless of what you do, where you fail or how much you succeed. I struggle and I accept that. But, the difference is that, my failure is more a victory because God has used it to teach me another life-long lesson I would never have learned if not for the trial. Dust yourself off and try again. And again, and again. Do not set your benchmark on the standards that society has set but instead set your standards on the Christ, the One that is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. Yes I can!
    I wish and to be a beacon of light. For God to use me and to help those that are in the struggle, to profess His greatness, His goodness, regardless of the consequences the world may sanction me. I wish the opportunity to teach, to be the encouragement and motivation for all Christians, young and old, but especially, the world. It’s possible. It’s possible that God could use me, once an adulterer, a drunkard, a liar, thief, murderer, to do His will. Will you take that stand with me today?

    Thank you for the opportunity to speak my mind and I thank you for welcoming me to your beautiful church. May God bless you and keep you.


  37. MissPiggy Says:

    I am praying for all of you who are in toxic relationships. That God will give you the strength to get up and go.



  38. I just need to know- what is so bad about having two legal wives, now that men seem not traditionally plygamous?

    Was it not legal in the Bible?


  39. Is it ok to marry to divorced man?


  40. I had a blast!! i want anaa unmask th man event. th fact th@ i was hearing it from women who hv been where i am now(single n chilling) just makes it seem possible.im convinced it is if im connected tn THE SOURCE. thank u n God bless u.


  41. Hey all! Had a wonderful time. however, my expectations were not met. to be precise, i felt that most conversations dealt with us as women and we never really got to unmask the man. the event was clearly not well planned for and it showed in its execution. it is clear that women are yearning for this information and there’s no better avenue of delivering the message other than the church. trust me, leaving my best friends and telling my fiance to step is easier said than done. shouldn’t i be the example? lets learn from this. plan well, execute well, provide transport always, women only events should never go past seven. it wasn’t a good show when the event ended that late. we are women and unfortunately, society has expectations of us as daughters, wives and mothers. lets do it again and next time, lets do it right!


  42. hi,

    i attended the “unmask the man” and it fell short of my expectations.

    next time please let the speakers be well informed on what we are supposed to be covering.


  43. Hi Leniola
    Thanks for your very positive critique. I know your sentiments are shared by many. We recognize there were quite a few execution flaws with the event and it certainly went too late. Our apologies to all the ladies. We’re working on it will plan to do a better job next time. God bless.

    Pastor Carol


  44. @ Lyn, ditto. Just saw your comment. Pastor Carol


  45. I think the event was great:-).Like most people,i was excited that we would have been talking about men the whole time,and id finaly figure out all my exes..why they do what they do,when he says i dont feel u like that,what does that mean?why did my ex cheat on me and i was such a nice girlfriend?when u hurt a man do they really feel it?why do they seem to move on so fast when u need a few more months to stop pining?how come they are so selfish sometimes?what makes a man choose one woman over another?…I honestly think i got a better deal.I think God knew exactly what he was doing.I unmasked myself and found out why i react to men they way i do.I had so many aha! moments.The panelists made me realise my worth,sounds cliché bt seriously.It made perfect sense to me.I need to be ok with God first and myself.Isnt it funny that we were given a week on the blog and another chance to ask questions and most of the questions were about how WE relate to men and how they make US feel and how to deal with it rather than the mans nature or motive behind his behaviour?..Another session could talk about the nature of men,although i have a feeling we already have some of the answers.I realised that,that information would have been useless to me where i am now.I seriously need God to work on me at this point..oh,and the bit about purity,that was amazing,2yrs,5yrs,eh!..i was sexualy active before i rededicated my life to God and im encouraged it can be done.Iv been tempted to compromise on that one.Thanks to the panelists,it couldnt have been easy sharing such personal details of your lives.God bless you!


  46. I came to unmask the man and get pampered last night and I must say I was very very disappointed. I had read many blog entries this week and I really expected to have the issues of today’s modern woman addressed but they were not. The man was not unmasked and I got opinions from ladies who I feel haven’t had the ‘dating with sex’ experience. I am a new believer and I have recently ended a relationship with my unsaved boyfriend because I knew it wasn’t God’s plan for me to be in that relationship. But I loved him and still love him and while I know it was the right decision, I’m hurt and lonely. I have deep issues I wanted to discuss…I cannot relate to someone who dated for 2 years with only pecks on the cheek. i want to know that there is hope for me in my situation and for all those other women living with their boyfriends or who has scars from past sexual relationships…and believe me there are many of us! For the caliber of women who attended the event, I feel that the topics and speakers were not for us but maybe for a younger woman. It’ sad because I was looking forward to the event and the man sadly remains unmasked for me. Not to say that it was all bad, there were some good aspects but not at all what i expected.


  47. @Wendy,
    Hi! Yes I agree that event was for the younger single woman however there were a few things that we still need to pick up as older single women. There were a couple of ladies who spoke about their “dating with sex” experience and there was alot to learn from them! and also for the “dating for 2 yrs with just pecks” well I would say that must have rescued many young ladies too who may have been wondering whether it is possible!

    I feel the married women in the congregation were not addressed and were left with their questions too…I guess we need to face it……such forums should probably be divided up for young singles, older singles and marrieds as much as we singles may feel left out…but I know the needs are different. I felt that my married friends that I dragged along felt short changed as they had all passed the stages that were being discussed. Pastor C please dont shy off from havng different forums for the different grps. Blessings to you!!


  48. I’m very disappointed. Firstly, where was the promised pampering? 2ndly, we were kept waiting only then to be talked at and not talked to. The speakers didn’t address a great number of our needs. i don’t think the panel represented the average mavunite lady.
    Also the choice of musicians wasn’t that great…a nice music performance would have been a good starting point to the event.
    On a positive note, the lady who did the poetry at the beginning was very good. If a follow up event is going to be done, I hope it’s more organized and truly targeted at unmasking the man.


  49. Ladies,

    Past M and C thank you for being a blessing to many young people and transforming many lives…mine the most.

    The unmasking was truly a blessing for me bcoz despite the fact that i came expecting to hear abt men this and men that.. it was a pleasant surprise to realize that I AM the reason why the men in my life have behaved they way the have/do…i mean why wouldnt they when i have been nothing but a “willing turtle” to them.. giving them NO challenge and NO opportunity to prove their worth and for that matter see MY worth.

    For the ladies who’ve written in very dissapointed all i can say is that take time and step out for a bit and re-look at your past relationships and the role you’v played to enable the behaviour of that man in relation to what we heard from the panelists and i believe you will have unmasked the man….i know i did.


  50. Blessed gal…I totally agree with you.

    What’s the point of unmasking the man before I unmask myself? We have given men a stage to play out their character… for the good men, with good character… some woman has benefited and praises God. Likewise for the men with terrible character… some woman is hurting and crying. Ladies stop providing your life as the stage on which ill character men plays on.

    Bravo to those keeping pure till marriage. It honours God big time! Dont give up the fight… you shall reap in bounds when the day comes. Bravo!

    To all the panelists jana… a job well done! May God bless you for being willing to be vulnerable and for sharing your stories so honestly. I believe, like Jesus would say after telling a parable… ‘Let those who have ears, listen and understand’.

    You cut accross the board well.



  51. This isnt about the surmon.its the doubts i have for God.he puts me to task wondering whether he really exists or if he does,then he is a sadist.i ve called upon u n u seem not to understand what m going through or u simply dont care.wheneva i ask 4 something u do exactly the opposite.i have read the blogs in here and it seems u have chosen afew.even if u dont wanna listen to my prayers,please listen to those of my mother and siblings.GOD i dont knw how u want me to praise u yet u dont listen to me.why do u like hurting our family


  52. Hey..i attended the un-mask the man and i must say that i was kind of disappointed. i feel that the organizers of the event needed to have researched on the audience before having the event. am sure most ladies will agree with me that in today’s world life has just gotten a little more complicated than it was say 10years ago. personally i left the event feeling all beat, depressed and like a looser. however pastor Angie and Pastor Carols sister and the lady in the red suit were rather real they hit on the real issues which we all know go deeper than what we discussed. we are heart broken, with low self esteem some of us are lost and cold we came hoping for answers and healing. we came to be encouraged and empowered. the topic on sex was also rather shallow, seriously could i be the only living in a world where No ringy no thingy is almost just unrealsitic?


  53. I too was very disappointed. my expectations were not meet. i never got to ‘unmask the man’ ..alot has changed over the years! I have to agree the panel did not represent the average mavunite lady… I did however enjoy the poetry and some of the stories!


  54. Hi Ladies, we’d love some comments on how you’d do this event differently, and also your opinion on whether we should ever do it again. Please send them to info@mavunochurch.org with the subject heading ‘Unmask The Man’. We’re very grateful for the feedback!


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