Pink Men

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87 Responses to “Pink Men”

  1. Finally men get attention-a neglected species for long. It was good to recognize some our pink hearts, and all the reasons why they turned as such. I am sure it is in your plan to address the futility of blaming such causes and instead call men to take 100% responsibility for their manhood. Mbevi, there is book in there and whole men’s programme that you can explore! Thumbs up and stay creative.

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  2. hey pasi i must admit that at the beginnning of the sermon u had totally lost me.i couldnt figure out who is this pink man u r talking about, until u gave the genesis story and things started to fall in place.dude u undressed us men as u addressed us in ur sermon for clearly ave been pink and i think twas the reason my first affair with a lovely lady didnt work out.however there is still this bit that needs to be expounded further wea is the clear demarcation between been assertive the real man and yet not appear domineering to ur spouse? by the time u were closing the sermon content landed and i was silently thinking to myself the president ought to be here or at least get to hear this for am clearly convinced his being pink has lead to this tangible leadership vacuum as he often appears aloof of all the wrong things happening to this beloved country that are been prepetuated by greed and corruption.as i pray to God for tranformation in all kenyan men to become real men at the family level so that it may spill over to national change in the course of this country, am burning to say this could the REAL MAN in our PRESIDENT PLEASE STAND UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that feels good coz soaring FUEL and UNGA prices is NO GOOD!

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  3. I thought Pastor Mbevi did such a great job illustrating the sermon. Though I am a woman, I could relate since I know several such “Pink Men”. Even as someone who considers herself quite modern and independent, it is true that us women need the men that we date/marry be the authority and not be constantly deferring to us. Its actually annoying. I was blessed by the sermon.

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  4. I too have dated a pink dude n its not cute at all. i want a man to take the lead n i thnk this is coz my dad has always been THE man in my life n family so i dnt want to always take th lead in a relationship. @kakey, i really feel u. our dear president is letting us down bigtym. Mungu atusaidie tu.

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  5. Blessed Says:

    I just wish all the “pink men” in my life could attend this sermon and learn a thing or two..but like u said pastor s, they’r too busy hiding in the bar to bother to attend church. I think the reason why our society is so messed up is because of all the pinkness around and rightfully said by KAKEY from the head of this nation down to our sons…is it possible to broadcast this sermon in state house????
    Thank you pastor S for your timely sermon. ITS ABOUT TIME OUR MEN GREW UP AND BECAME MEN!!

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  6. Three Women Says:

    We were flabbergasted at some of the content of this sermon. I believe it is in the delivery of the sermon rather than the subject matter. Firstly the ‘me Tarzan, you Jane” approach towards gender was a bit dated and secular. We really should have looked at Jesus as the perfect example of manhood. He was not commandeering or macho in order to prove that he was a man. He was a true servant leader and we have often cited him as an example of manhood at Mavuno so today’s message was confusing and awkward. Also Pastor S says many men have become ‘pink/soft/wimps’ because of being subjected to teasing and yet I feel most of the sermon was spent labeling certain men ‘pink/effeminate/hiding behind women’s skirts’ etc’ with very little biblical direction on what they should be doing instead.

    Additionally masculinity and femininity were defined in too black-and-white a manner and this rigid designation of roles has led to a lot of trouble in our society where men are only allowed to be one way and anything else is considering ‘not man enough’. We have to be careful with the messages we are giving our men, and be spiritual rather than secular in our messaging.

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  7. Thank you pastor S…that was a beautiful sermon.

    I have heard it all before that i need to be affirming the men in my life and I have tried to do all I could. Today I realized that not only do i need to affirm i also need to not prophesy negative characteristics into their lives.

    This day I repent of all the words I have spoken into the lives of the men around me, that went against God’s will for their lives. I repent for not allowing you the men in my life to be the stronger ones, not allowing you to be the leader you were created you to be.

    Pastor S, I am not a feminist, almost all my friends are male… but still I complained alot about men, ignorant that the reason they behaved the way they did was as a result of fear of not measuring up……..today you taught me how to relate better with the many men in my life…..family included.

    This is such a timely message for this nation……..I wish I could get every man and woman to listen to this sermon series…….but I guess for now, i will focus on getting family and friends to Church this month.

    God Bless you!!

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  8. Walalalalala! Pastor S, if there ever was a time you hit the nail on the head it was today! If there is anything i’ve ever wanted to tell my husband, it was expressed on my behalf! We’ve been married 2 years now and this “roles” and “expectations” thing has been our “drama”.

    Given that i’m a strong personality i tend to be the DIY kind of person yet on the other hand my hubby being the laid back type let’s me get on with roles in our home as he watches, clearly this has caused me great conflict…but as was clearly summarised for us, “let the men be men and the women be women and God be glorified above all” – how true is dat

    Thank you for shedding light on our marriage, it was timely as today was the day we had set to have our “conference” to iron this same issues that were highlighted in the sermon…so guess what? The sermon was our guide and are we happier now or what? I can only pray God’s blessings for you Pastor S. Cheers!

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  9. the THREE WOMEN;

    Not that I think the sermon needs defending…I think the aim of the sermon was to get men to think about where there lives are: who they are now? and where they would like to be?

    To get them to remember there dreams! dreams of being a hero, dreams of doing something important even powerful…..making a name for themselves.

    And to remind us women that we don’t need to try and be “MEN”, that when God created us, and created the man it was because each has a distinct role to play……

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  10. twentytwo Says:

    Beautiful sermon as always and as a man the message made a lot of sense and I can draw parallels with situations i have gone through in my marriage.

    three women – i guess you did not catch the message that was being relayed today. From my understanding pastor s was telling us that God created roles for men and women and that in today’s world there are men who are not performing their duties and or not playing their roles and this brings about strenuous relationships. Pastor S gave a perfect example from the bible which was not anywhere close to secular – although it wasn’t about Jesus – but delivered the message that God wanted us to hear.

    The inability of men to take up their roles has brought about confusion in the society and has created lots of problems for women, wives and girlfriends. We as men need to stand up and give direction to our families and society and our beloved Kenya.

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  11. Simply me.. Says:

    @ Three women,

    With all due respect to y’all, I think you missed the mark here and beg to differ with your sentiments. I can tell you as a man, this message hit home with a great bang! I’m sure the same was felt by most, if not all men in the congregation. I can’t remember anything secular in what Pastor Simon was talking about. If anything, it was on point and very relevant to the world we live in today. With specific reference to the Bible, a lot came out very clearly. Adam just stood there while Eve was getting tempted. He did NOTHING (wasn’t man enough) about it, yet it was his responsibility to do so. He even made it worse by pertaking of the fruit without hesitation, despite knowing it was wrong.

    Isn’t it interesting how God specifically called out to Adam FIRST, in Genesis 3:9, despite him being with Eve? In fact, God didn’t address Eve until verse 13, asking her what she had done. This, to me, clearly defines what God expects of the man; to be responsible and take charge. Check out verse 17, where God said to Adam, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you “you must not eat of it”…… Contrary to your views, this shows us what God expected Adam to do instead, and that is stand up and say NO because there were specific instructions for them not to.

    I’m sure that so far, we all agree that it’s all about leadership here. He failed to accomplish what God expected him to do even in that situation. (one form of being “pink”). And you can see what God did in response. I dare ask, wasn’t this sufficient Biblical reference? Honestly, there are very many examples that could have been used for this message, including Jesus’ life, for wherever He went, He took charge and that’s why thousands followed Him all the time. But all these examples couldn’t possibly be exhausted in one sermon. I’m actually glad Pastor Simon chose the one from Genesis, in order to depict that this has always been in God’s heart since the beginning.

    Now, your concern about spirituality, we have to look at, and apply God’s word with comparison to our modern day lives for it to have relevance. It’s not enough to just read the word of God. Anybody can do that. I know of all kinds of people who read the Bible as a storybook. It does have all kinds of very interesting and entertaining stories. But the question is “then what?” To me, if the Pastor just left the message at what the Bible says, it wouldn’t make any sense. I’d be left asking “so how does Adam & Eve pertaking of the forbidden fruit apply in my life TODAY?” That’s the big question here. Otherwise it would just be a “story” just like Tom Sawyer or The treasure island.

    As Pastor said, how many men do you know today, that are hiding behind the bottle in pubs, because they’re too scared to address issues in their homes HEAD ON? How many are acting as cowards, beating their wives in order to assert their authority? How many are constantly ranting in their houses that “I’m the man of the house?” Must they repeat this? It is said “kizuri cha jiuza, kibaya cha jitembeza.” How many are just preserving but not giving life? Yes, these are the wimps being referred to, and it’s time they’re rebuked with love. You think about it and detail what’s secular about this message. Is it that you’re referring to the application of God’s word to our world today as “secular?” How else would the weight of this message be made relevant to our society today? I honestly don’t understand, as I fail to see what was “confusing” or “awkward” with the message. I think the packaging of this message was superb!

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  12. Just a man Says:

    Thanks Pastor S for the insight. The message was very relevant as well as timely. Apart from relationships, I found the message very applicable in my career & ministry life. I found some traces of pinkness which have kept me from fearlessly pursuing my God ordained convictions & passions; sometimes when faced with obstacles over & over again, it has been very easy to give up & settle for mediocre living. Thanks to the sermon, I have been reminded of my purpose which with God’s help, I am now determined to aggressively pursue. Awhoo!!!

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  13. Thank you Pastor S, as a mother of boys who dont have the influence of their father i do worry alot on whether am doing right by them and yesterday i got to see how with Gods help i could avoid turning them into “pink men” already i could see why i have been having such wars with one of them, some of the issues are not even discipline issues but just the boy thing.Please do pray for wisdom for mothers bringing up boys. Maybe one day the church will start a mentoring ministry for both boys and girls. God bless sana.

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  14. Pastor Simon Mbevi

    Well done and keep it up.
    Remember that all the glory goes to God.

    I kept smiling in church especially when the lights would go off because I would have a soliloquy ” Oh Satan !! Give it up man !!!! Even if you keep on causing disturbace my having the elec go, this month we are going to have our men blessed. Shindwe !!!

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  15. Seriously, this past Sundays sermon has been long overdue for men, it seems like men have taken the back seat and let women take over the mans role. This message is needed, not only by we who are previleged mavunites but to the world. If there was one sermon that really spoke to me for as long as I can remember (and I am no spring chicken) THIS WAS IT!!
    Men we need to take back our roles, responsibilities and the Godly mandate to be a MAN!!
    My name is Tony and I am a MAN!!

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  16. That was a real Good Job Pastor S. I am currently bringing up 2 boys on my own and it is hard. I wish we could have a forum of ‘mentoring’ where some real men would volunter to mentor single mothers sons. Though would wish to have some family members do it, atimes we feel like we are taking the boys from the frying pan to the fire!!! Can some real men help!!! As a ministry to God!! Honestly.

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  17. ican tell this is going to be an ‘uncomfortable’ month..and i mean that in a good way..u Pastor S uare poking at those spots hidden deep in our hearts..im so glad God placed this message in your heart..i as a woman stood up and repented for any man that i may have damaged with my words or actions…it comes from many years of meeting pink men…who will not take resposnsibilty for their actions in relationships…the men who cheat and break our hearts and excuse themesleves by saying im a man aint i.?..for the men who stand aside and allow their women to procure abortions alone..because they are too selfish or scared to be men and stand up and tell them that dont worry we are in this together i willraise my child…
    im a victim of this..and listening to yesterdays sermon has began my healing process..when i recommited my life to Christ iforgave myself for killing my child i just hadnt forgiven him for getting me pregnant and leaving me to sort it out on my own…all i needed was for him to say dont do it..job or no job we shall survive..dont do it..he turned away and i had to make the choice that will haunt me for life.
    men i hope u realise how not taking repsonsibility for your actions can destroy a womans life… also dont use ur masculinity as an excuse for sleeping around…i hope u all took the vow ..Christ has called us all,both man and woman to practice self control.
    im hurting..but i know there is hope.
    God bless.

    anyway im looking forward to the rest of the sermon

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  18. I whole heartedly agree with Simply me’s delivery of that.I’ve dated a guy who’s not decisive and it’s frustrating.Three women,there’s almost nothing secular about Pastor S’s message apart from his applying it to society today.I dare you to look at people who have nothing to prove in terms of self-worth,self-esteem etc and you will see that they either had a supportive,but decisive father or father-figure at some point.Women nurture,but the men who are really men impart a sense of discipline,ambition,drive and so many other things to those under them by being real men.That’s for boys AND girls.I have a lot o guy friends and they tell me that they don’t dare mess around with and play with the hearts of chics whose dads are authoritative and in their lives.And I’m proud to say my dad is one such.When my friends are thinking of doing something stupid when I’m there,someone will speak up and say something to the effect that they know my dad and they’ll just drop it.
    It’s clearly stated in the Bible that the man is the Priest of the House.A Priest makes sure his congregation knows what’s right or wrong by God and as far as he can,rebukes and corrects society.
    When you have a man who’s letting the woman eke out discipline,nurture,leadership,Priesthood etc,you’ll have children who are loved but not completely shaped in.I think it’s significant that God is called our Father.He’s set in His standards of wrong and right,yet he loves us unconditionally even when we’re wrong.Fathers show that the clearest.And again I use my dad as an example.I’ve messed up a lot yet even more than my mum,after my dad has talked to me about why what I did was wrong and how to set it right,he’s the one who’s always calling to check up on me.And that’s a lot considering we talk a lot wit my mum.The result is that I know what I did was wrong,and the fact of it sometimes can drive me into self-hate and loathing,but just when I need it,after rebuking me and setting the boundaries of wrong and right,he will assure me I’m still loved.And because of him,I understand God’s love even more.Decisive,unyielding in it’s boundaries,yet unconditional.I wouldn’t have it any other way.And that’s what I think Pastor S was bringing out.
    Difference is what makes life interesting.If we were all white,or all sanguines,or all fat,or all short,or all plain looking or we all wore black,there’d be a whole lot of bored people walking around.Difference is something God knew existed and it was for a reason.To make life beautiful.In the same way,I think masculinity and femininity are different to make life beautiful.Those who do the Tarzan-Jane thing are missing the point,but that’s no excuse to try and scale down masculinity from what God intended it to be.

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  19. And may I add that as a man,especially a dad,you have to be deep enough with God that you stand your ground when it comes to discipline and boundaries even when it’s hard.I seriously almost hated my dad for the first decade and a half of my life coz o how strict he was but now I see why he did the things he did.And you can only have the confidence to stand your ground as a man when it’s God who’s guiding you otherwise you’ll stand your ground on grossly wrong decisions.

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  20. Pastor S,

    All I can say is deep stuff. Let the men be MEN, so I can stop being a blue woman.

    And to Mr. Tony-I- am- not -a -spring -chicken, i like the attitude.

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  21. Hey Mavunites and visitors,

    Kweli this Sunday was real bashing for the Pink Men. Sure most of us didn’t know we were even Pink, or what a Pink Man is. However, question for Pastor S, what if the world has to have Pink Men in order for it to revolve? Can we be 100% blue? Want to share an email I got from a pal here below. Sure the ladies will be super happy! Enjoy!

    When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines: one line for the men who were true heads of their household and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St Peter.”

    Soon, the women were gone and there were two lines of
    men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

    God said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you to be the head of your household. You have been disobedient and not fulfilled your purpose. I told you to be the spiritual leader in your family. Of all of you only one obeyed. Learn from him. Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”

    The man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”

    God bless you.
    Gee.

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  22. I loved the sermon.

    I am falling on my knees and want God to help me stand (on my knees) as a real man!

    Thanks Pst. Mbevi!

    Aaaaawwwwuuuuuuuu!

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  23. One more thing.Masculinity is not about thinking you’re perfect or that you’re always right.Pastors M,S, and C have clearly demonstrated that.A man should also be willing to accept it when he’s wrong and apologise when he needs to and again I’ll use my dad for that coz he’s just super.Now that I’m an adult,punishing me doesn’t work.Adults talk and reason.And when I do something that he thinks will hurt me,he doesn’t just say stop!Shock on me,my dad actually recounts to me things that HE did similar to my situation and how he suffered as a result.So that even when he corrects me,I don’t feel like he’s being self-righteous.Take for example Pastor M.There’s no doubt that he really is a man,yet he never shies away from using his mistakes in context to drive a point home.(in context meaning that you don’t go spilling your beans to all and sundry for no good reason)THAT’S a man who’s not afraid of people seeing that despite being God’s man,he has flaws and wants you to learn from them.

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  24. Hey Pastor S,

    You’ve outdone yourself again, and I certainly thank God for you.
    I won’t type much, plenty has already been contributed. I just felt to say thank you, for allowing Christ to communicate His desire for today’s Man through you. Kudos!

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  25. Pastor S,thanx for the inspiring sermon
    As the sermon went across i just kept thinkin of my baby bro…..my bro,my bro he is my only bro and as ladies in the house we spoil him to bits
    he has no space to do his boy thing(he is only 15!!!ok,i know thats old but to us he is still our lil’ baby boy) and we view his pals as toooo boyish for him and sometimes even hinder them from being with them
    BUT after the sermon,i have decided to let him be,let that man in him awake i dont want him to be a pink man,no no no i want the best for him(which is what have always wanted even when i dint know i was shielding the man in him) i know he’s gonns be a MAN eough to handle responsibilities and issues and with Gos’s grace he’ll be THE MAN
    Thanx for highlighting real issues that rock bottom us real people
    God bless Mavunites

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  26. Tony, rightly put! I think the sermon was about men taking responsibilty for their actions and inactions. More like an eye opener.

    Three women I agree with simply me…you missed the point. I don think I heard Pst S use the word “‘wimp”.. not even in its implication.
    I would urge you to try to understand the foundation and principles of Mavuno- why we do things the way we do… Mavuno is about reaching to the unchurched and venturing into the barriers that remain unexplored in our generation. Besides I think there is a polite way of making a point.
    I believe that if Christ lived with us today he would wear a suit and not akalas and a shuka.

    Pastro S thanks for heading to sad ones cry for help.

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  27. Three Women Says:

    Simple Me thanks for the great response and breaking it down like that. I’m glad God has ministered to so many through this message. In fact my girlfriends and I said that we would talk to our male friends who attend Mavuno and see what they got from the sermon, and they all related to it. I’m happy people have been touched by it, even though I still have some difficulty with some of what was said, I recognize it is perhaps just my perspective.

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  28. Gee, that email is too funny and perfectly illustrates Pastor’s serman.

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  29. Great Sermon Pastor S

    I finally began to understand the basis of some the stuff that i do and stuff that i go through.

    It truly was a blessed and inspired sermon.

    Gob bless.

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  30. Great Sermon Pastor S

    I finally began to understand the basis of some the stuff that i do and stuff that i go through.

    It truly was a blessed and inspired sermon.

    God bless.

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  31. Heartfelt Says:

    Unfortunately I missed yesterday’s service but can tell from the blog that it was great. As I was reading Genesis, I thought the concept of “MEN being MEN” originated with God. In Gen 2:16-17, God commanded Adam in regards to the forbidden tree. In vs 19-20, God brought all the creatures TO Adam for him to name them. Then in vs 22 is when Eve came into the picture. Later in Gen 3:6 when Eve ate the forbidden fruit and gave it to Adam, I think that was man’s first opportunity to be a man(first by obeying God and saying NO to Eve but since that didn’t happen, the second best thing would have been to take responsibility for his actions i.e. don’t blame her)..that didn’t happen either and as they say, the rest is history.

    I agree with the sentiments shared by a few of you that God never gave the instructions to Eve, they were directly to Adam so when God came to the garden, the first person He called out was Adam. I think men can exercise their God-given authority without being dictators. Men who are surbodinate to God first and foremost will be able to rebuke in love, correct in love, give direction and do all these things in love (not for the purposes of intimidating, dominating or bullying).

    Also, it seems whenever men lose their God-given place, it creates a lot of chaos and confusion for the generations that follow. (Consider the statistics that show in the U.S., 72 percent of adolescent murderers grew up without fathers, so did 60 percent of America’s rapists).

    I think it would be awesome if more men of our generation could rise up and say…I WILL BE THE MAN God created me to be. I will take responsibility for my decisions and actions without fear of failure or negative repurcussions. If I fail/fall, I will learn, get up and move on, but I will not be a spectator! I will love and respect the woman in my life, I will take care of the children I bring into this world, I will stand for something! And I think it would be even more awesome if we, the women of this generation would back off and give them a chance! I know it’s not easy for women who have had to ‘run the show’ for so long, they don’t know how to be led, instructed or taken care of, myself included. I mean, if your father wasn’t there and you watched your mother juggle it all, then it was passed on to you, and to add on to it your brothers haven’t done much to elicit trust and respect(since they didn’t have a role model either!)…it’s not easy to begin to trust the men in our lives. However, God is doing something in their lives through this message and we shouldnt be afraid they will let us down. If we can speak positively into their lives, if we can forget those things that are behind us….Utopia I say!

    Oh, for those looking for a Jesus example…the scenario of Jesus with his mother at the wedding in Cana of Galilee just came to mind….John 2:3-5. He made a decision and she respected it!

    Y’all have a wonderful week.

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  32. thekenyannutcase Says:

    @ three women i once read that being male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of choice.Sunday i believe Pr S just remined us to make that choice.

    PS: did you notice the men who gave their lives to Christ to help them be men for the first time?

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  33. at-sister i feel your pain.God bless u.

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  34. I wanna understand Says:

    Dear Pastor S.
    May God bless you for a greet summon. I was challenged and have started trying to understand why some men do the things they do.
    Please help me understand why men especially those who were once born again become so violent and cruel to their wives when they start having affairs/extra marital sex!!! Ma am talking from experience and from a sample of my friends(women). What actually happens?!! These men are worse than those who have never been born again!!! What do we do? Who will save us from the taunting of our gal friends who married men who were never born again in the first place!!!
    Is there hope for such husbands!!!
    Thankyou.

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  35. For the longest time, when Pastor M would stand up and read emails in church, I thought it was a publicity stunt. I never in my wildest dreams, dreamt that I would one day be a contributor… Well that day is here! And the reason is clear, I just experienced the happiest day of my life! I became a MAN. It makes perfect sense now, all the pain I’ve been through, all the pain I’ve caused, it all was leading up to this. If ever “in everything give thanks” made sense, it does now. I thank God for loving me so much that he made it possible that I was able to be there for this sermon. I thank God for Mavuno and how many are “seeing the light” not just spiritually, but also in their day to day lives. This message I believe is the key to repairing thousands of relationships (like mine) and rebuilding many broken lives. Pastor S thanks for bringing the word in such a powerful and personal way. God truly spoke to me through you. Preach on Preacher!

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  36. Am so looking forward to the next 3 sermons! I think it’s the high time we addressed this issue and address it straight on! As a society we have lost it! As women we have taken over roles that were not on God’s blueprint when he created us and so we have highly contributed to this ‘Generation PM’! Am not saying that we should be door mats or anything close to that, but we should respect the fact that God created us women to be adored, cherished and all those words that come close to those lines as well as be independent and make decisions of our own, but we have taken over, squeezing our men to a corner where they feel trapped and cocooned! Personally I don’t want to be the one fixing the bulb when I have a man in the house, NO WAY!!!

    We need real men to stand up and take their position! Preach on Pastor S!

    Am Sparkly and am a woman 🙂

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  37. mimi hapa Says:

    i feel sad for my dude friends who i have been trying to invite to church, i feel they need this. like there are times when someone pressures you to give in to sexual sin and the gal is the one taking charge.
    as i sat throught the sermon, i remembered my pastor friend who once told me that when it comes to emotions, the woman is supposed to take charge, i lived with that guilt everytime, i thought i went a bit too far with a dude and kept thinking i had failed in my end of responsibility.
    i realised that as much as it is mine responsibility to keep pure, the dude like adam was supposed to take charge, should also strive to keep me pure. this ties so well with the last sermon pastor M prach about purity.
    then i remebered the way i always say I am waiting for a high priest, someone we can walk into the holy of holies together as he leads and reealised that i have to pray for Him, whoever he is. because the tongue has the power of life and death..

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  38. PLEASE PLEASE load up the sermon…need someone to listen to it! 🙂 thanks

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  39. I stood up in church on Sunday, for only the second time in my life (and I recognise that may be a weakness). That sermon moved me immensely, despite not being a man, and I wanted to respond, to swallow my pride and tell God “nimekusikia”.
    I’ve found dating to be an immensely frustrating experience, because apparently I am “intimidating”. I’d ask “Intimidating how?” and the general response is “You are too put together, you look like you are just sawa.” Honestly, what do you say to that? And I would wonder what a girl needed to do to communicate that all she wants is adventure, a full life. I am terrified of a life governed by tradition, but at heart I am simply a woman who wants to be accepted and adored, heard and felt, by a man whose security and assurance would not derive from how much I am like his mother (that may come out a little mean, but I’m stuck on how else to say it.)
    So I gave up hope of meeting a man who would be willing to take the risk and decided I would live without settling, whatever that would eventually look like. But it was accompanied by a mild contempt, not a little anger and some sadness, at the “fact” that it should be so difficult to find someone who would fight for me.
    Until Sunday.
    There are men aspiring to true leadership out there, and should God will it, I can’t wait to meet mine.

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  40. mimi hapa Says:

    when we are going up, we know that every boy is a hero and every gal is a queen but circumstances around us end up making us maybe take the opposite roles, when the boy becomes a queen and the gal becomes a hero, yet inside every gal, there is a queen waiting for a hero

    @sue, that is how i think it ends up being you got your life too together, because, you were taught to be a hero.I find myself in that position alot, i just want someone to hold up and be the hero in my life, but i feel awful when they turn thinking i can hold up on my own, yet every nite, i crumble and cry, wishing i would peel this hero cover off but the fact that am all by myself, i find it hard to be fable, i have to fight for myself…

    pastor S where is the line, esp when it comes to chics, how do we let the man be the hero, when we have been brought up being heros?

    Like

  41. The pink man sermon was awesome. i am excited on how the speaker used research to explain the challenges and reasons as to why we have pink men and how we the women have also contributed in bashing our men.
    as a married woman, i realised i needed to repent in order for me to receive healing for the wounds that have been afflicted to me by my man when he himself is hurting and unfortunately vents out on me – instead of protecting me and taking care of me.
    i also appreciated that he has a positive side too since he has learnt to take his position in the home. the message was well articulated relevant and touching.
    GOD BLESS YOU SIMON

    Like

  42. Nichole Says:

    First blog I read after wakeup from sleep today!

    —————————-
    Are you tension? panic?

    Like

  43. pastor S I REALLY loved the sermon and God bless you much for it,im not dating but i desire to and i kept on thinking its really hard to come across real men as in guys who are decisive and are leaders as in a dude who will just let you be a woman as God called you to be and not expect you to carry his cross while you have your own,i mean to be honest i like every other girl grew up with that image of a knight or a warrior hero not necessarily as a fairytale setup but someone who will be willing to fight the battles with you and for you be they spiritual or whatever.so it has been sad to realise that the warrior is a dying species.And i also knew i had my part to fulfill when it came to standing up coz ive done my share of bad mouthing men.im just glad that this whole cycle of confusion will begin to come to an end with us guys.And i cant wait for the rest of the sermons and im sure there will be something for us ladies too.

    Like

  44. Heartfelt Says:

    Sue,

    Thank you for the way you articulated that. You are not alone. I have had a real problem finding the balance between being purposeful with my life i.e., having direction, drive, etc, and feeling like I have to turn it down a notch so as not to intimidate a good man. I’m still walking that line….

    Like

  45. hi pasi…i got saved last week and i tell you it was amazing knowing there is asomeone watchin you out from above.however i never knew how i would tell my FRIENDZ that i had changed my life for the best…until last sundays sermon by pasi mbevi..may God bless you more

    Like

  46. Pastor M Says:

    Hi all, thanks for the great comments! As always blessed by the wisdom, interaction and clarification. @ Sister, I’m glad for your decision to forgive. May He who began the good work in you bring it to completion. @ Deanna, you are one of a fortunate few in our generation! By God’s grace, there’ll be a whole lot of dads in Mavuno who’s daughters will sing their praises like you!

    @ I wanna understand, what can I say? We all come to Christ with our issues. Accepting His salvation is just the first step. God accepts us just as we are, but He loves us too much to leave us there – if we’ll allow Him to change us. Some of us take that first step but… for the rest of us, we can only pray that God will help them understand themselves and continue to cooperate with God for our own transformation (work on me, pray for them). Like many said last week though, you need to seek help if you find yourself in a situation that is causing you harm. Otherwise you become a part of the problem…

    I was really blessed by Sunday’s sermon. Thanks Pastor S. May God continue to shape us to be the generation that makes the difference. And may God raise many real men at Mavuno. Including me!

    Like

  47. Heartfelt Says:

    I wanted to share this as I figured it may ring true for some of the ‘strong women’ out there….God help us all!

    I AM MY MOTHER’S DAUGTHER

    I am my mother’s daughter, strong and resilient.
    I never give up no matter how tough life gets
    I keep hope alive

    I am my mother’s daughter
    I am kind and generous, I give and give
    Even if I don’t get

    I am my mother’s daughter, I love my family
    I am the intermediary making sure everyone gets along

    I am my mother’s daughter, I take pride in my work
    I want the good life and I’m not afraid to work for it
    I toil from dusk till dawn and do it over and over again

    BUT…

    I am my mother’s daughter, I set high expectations
    And expect everyone else to live up to them
    I judge and criticize all in the name of love

    I am mother’s daughter…nothing is ever good enough for me
    Nothing is ever up to my standards, and if you do well,
    I say you could do better

    I am my mother’s daughter, I say it once then I say it again
    As if you didn’t hear me the first time!

    I am my mother’s daughter, I boss and control and don’t
    Know how to let go
    If I don’t do it, I say, it won’t get done right

    I am my mother’s daughter, but I don’t want to end up alone
    That is when I am no longer my mother’s daughter

    Like

  48. Pastor M Says:

    @ Rosh, proud of you! You’ve just made the best decision of your life! Please make sure you pray with one of our prayer team if you haven’t already done so. Then buckle up, and prepare for the adventure of a lifetime! God bless.

    Like

  49. As many men begin the journey this month to understanding themselves better… Just want to share ust a little excerpt from one of the books on men that was highlighted by Pastor S on Sunday…understanding the power and purpose of men by Myles Munroe.. Since it seemed like very few men had read it…

    – From the creation story in Genesis, the purpose of the male may be summed up as his priority, his position and his assignment

    – The male’s priority means he was formed first in order to be the foundation of the human family

    – The males’s position means that he is to remain continually in God’s presence. Whithout this, he cannot function in God’s purposes

    – The male’s assignment includes six specific purposes he is meant to fulfil: visionary, leader, teacher, cultivator, provider and protector

    ….there’s lots more in the book. My call is that as we as men are awakened to our true purpose that we would forsake the days of ignorance about ourselves and pursue knowledge for God says ..my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge… so as Proverbs says..though it cost you all you have..get wisdom, get understanding..and lets not abuse ourselves (and all else around us) because we don’t know our purpose.

    AAAHUUUU!!!

    Like

  50. Pst S
    my hubby came for Gideons torch today for the first time.
    Been praying about it and giving subtle tints here and there.
    He says it was real.Whats more he loved it and I know he will do it again.
    Imagine with me if all the Men of Mavuno would begin to understand the truths about manhood and stand in the gap for thier families and for the church and for the nation….my heart skips a beat.
    Guys its so nice to read on the blog that God is doing a new thing! Keep the fire burning.
    Praise be to God!

    Like

  51. We need to pray for our dear president who in my opinion is a pink man…
    those who watched yesterdays news know what im talking about…he can hold a press conference to clarify the rumuors about him having two wives..but never comes out strongly when Kenyans are in need of direction,or comfort..where was his press statement when those under him were busy stealing maize and leaving millions starving?

    Like

  52. lillian Says:

    You have hit the nail on the head sugar. Spoken with honesty.

    Like

  53. Arap Too Says:

    Great sermon Pastor, for the first time in my life i cant wait for the next Sunday to hear more about my wayward self! i have listened to your sermon and in my quest to head from negative to positive living, i will quit one evil at a time. so far smoking and women have gone. am now left with pints which i will give up eventually. Great job Mavuno!!…I know i will eventually give my life to Jesus and be a fearless influencer of society!!

    Like

  54. Simply me.. Says:

    I so feel you sugar. Hope he didn’t do it under compulsion though. Seemed so to me. Guys, it’s time we gave proper direction. No more pink!

    Like

  55. hey pple!
    Let not loose the bigger picture underlying the divine creation of this blog . And keep in mind “the map is not the territory”…pastor S wonderful sermon you looked great in pink!!!

    Like

  56. HelpingHand Says:

    Pastor S, last Sunday was my second attendance at Mavuno and I like what I hear simply because it is REAL and DOABLE. My major concern is about the growing teenage man who does not have a role model to follow. This is particularly evident in our urban city where our young men lack maturation guidance. It has become the role of the mothers to teach our teenage men issues relating to maturation. Help me reach out to the fathers and to the families to save the young man and give him an identity as a MAN. We are loosing our males in Nairobi — look at the rural areas where a young man will mature up knowing his role and identity. Am throwing out a challenge — please email me and let us put our resources together to reach out to our young men in Nairobi, especially in high schools. The maturation concept on life skills is what is in my heart. We can help, please email.

    Like

  57. Hi everyone,
    Pastor s,first of all let me say that you were looking very stunning in Jeans.:).
    For me the sermon was such a great blessing and am looking forward to the rest of the sermons.
    i love Mavuno its so Real!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  58. He Pastor S, you did it again! For the longest time i have been a male basher…seriously, having come from a very abusive home with a “submissive” mother, i found myself blaming my mom for not defending herself. It was traumatic watching her being turned into a punching bag at the whim of my father. So i thought, i will never let that happen to me…for the longest time…men were beasts! savage! and thats it! So when you asked us to stand on Sunday to be prayed for, i stood by faith that God can heal this part of me totally and that my regard for men can change and that finally i can trust one…i am not dating for now and decided not to for a while until God sorts me out…it has been a journey and i am glad that God is faithful and when He says He is Jehovah Rapha it is not only for physical illnesses but also emotional like mine. Thank you Pastor S. God bless you!

    Like

  59. hi passy.
    your sermon on sunday really spoke to me. Mavuno is in its own league.a chrch that actually talks about real issues.i have an issue i have and i don’t know if am the only one with the issue.if not am DOMBED.if not will -the REAL MEN STAND UP. I was sexually abused as a child when i was 7-8years.clearly i didn’t know what was happening.thank God the IDIOT did not rape me but still am struglling with feelings for men.at times i HATE MEN then at times i don’t. wht can i do? i would want to get married, have kids but what about these feelings?i have even tried getting saved, nothing..wht do i do?i will really appreciate if there is anyone out there going through the same thing to contribute..

    Like

  60. first of all,ya’l are simply blessed. the mavuno think tank is nothing short of inspired. thanks for the simple lessons they all seem to be connected in one way or the other. thanks for the simple eye openers that we’v bin blind to.

    Like

  61. Pinkness is a state of mind, real men use HEART ask the spartans

    Like

  62. Dave,
    I am truly sorry for what you had to go through…it pains me when a child so innocent is abused and defiled by those who are supposed to protect them. All i know is that God is able and i am glad you are in church coz that is where all our issues were sorted and are still getting sorted…do not be deceived into thinking that God cannot sort you out, He will coz He can and He wants to…My heart goes out to you and your dream of getting married and having kids will be fulfilled. You can be healed…am not so sure at this point if you are a guy or a chic…all i know is what you went through must have been traumatic for a child and has far reaching concequences…over and above blogging, i would suggest you see one of our pastors for further help.

    Like

  63. @Arap Too – dont wait to “sort yourself out” before getting saved, imagine God wants to help you out! Its such a great adventure, trust me you don’t want to delay it by a single second.

    Like

  64. Heartfelt Says:

    @ Arap Too, I second dexo. First off…the fact that you recognize you need some change is awesome. You’re way ahead. Secondly, I know we Christians sometimes seem all “sorted out” and that can be intimidating to someone on the outside looking in…but that isn’t the case at all. We are all a work in progress. Instead of trying to fix yourself all on your own, give God something to do! Come to Him as you are…with an open heart/mind, and see what He will do.

    Picture this…imagine you had a 9 year old son who had a problem in math. Day after day he would beat himself up, go to his friends for help, stay up late at night etc, but for whatever reason he would never come to you, his daddy. Imagine if he thought he had to be perfect to come to you. Yaani, how would you feel? I hope you get my point.

    In the meantime, keep coming to church and God’s word will change your life. Cheers!

    Like

  65. FIRST AND FOR MOST…….I was so jazzed by the whole curtain raising by juliani……that boy has something going on and i believe his future is really really bright. Praise God for the work his doing in our artists.
    Now about the sermon!!!! PINK MEN!!1woohooo.Loved it. I thought I didn’t get it and as a matter of fact i had decided i will the male based sermons to the men……was i wrong!!!
    I sat down with my sister one evening and i was sharing the sermon with her (i was trying to get her to tell her boyfriend to attend) Wow!!!!as we discussed i realised how relevant the sermon was not only to me but to other women and men out there.

    People we need this sermons…..am a woman who believes strongly in equality, but in so doing i have often asked myself have we women taken over???? where are our men!?was it that we have learnt to believe so much in ourselves that we begun to think of men as irrelevant??

    The sermon pink men reminded me that men are important and it is IMPORTANT for women to realise that they are. We should not feel that since we are empowered we ought to put our men down by making them feel irrelevant and lacking any meaning in our lives.Finally i Learnt that the real man ought to stand up!!!!

    Like

  66. concerned Says:

    There was another time someone asked a question similar to Dave’s on one of the other blogs.could someone please help these men out.it’s scary what’s happening to male children nowadays and the results that come of it.

    Like

  67. @dave am sorry for what happened you when you were young. here is REAL MAN praying for you today.

    REAL MEN forgive.i’d suggest you forgive the person who did that to you if you haven’t yet let go.yes it’s hard imaginable to do that but that’s the scandal of grace coz even Jesus THE REAL MAN has forgiven our mistakes and sins.

    REAL MEN stick to their commitments.Yes even God is committed to us.there is nothing too hard for Him.when you give your life to Him you trust that He’ll never leave you nor forsake you, n He won’t.

    i trust you were with the rest of us(REAL MEN) on Sunday making the commitments and surrendering our lives to the REAL MAN Jesus who’s able to sort us out.can’t wait to see the outcome of His work in me.

    talking with other REAL MEN especially Pasi will help.

    Like

  68. Christian Gal Says:

    @Waleh, Am not a psychologist or anything, but I really hate it when you tell the victim of abuse to forgive, just like Jesus forgave our sins ??? I find that very impersonal. I don’t think you have experienced abuse and neither have I, so I would like to suggest that since we cannot even begin to understand how Dave feels, the best thing would be to pray for him and refer Dave to a Pastor for counseling.

    Also, its not about being a Real Man. This statement implies Dave has a weakness-I don’t think we can define it that way. I see it more as a traumatizing experience which he needs to resolve and bring to a closure with the help of a professional.

    @Dave, I think you are really brave to seek help. All I can tell you is that you can find healing in God and I have picked Pastor Simon Mbevi’s cell phone number from last week’s blog. I would suggest you get in touch with him. Its 0737969521.

    I wish you all the best in your journey to recovery. It is possible.

    Like

  69. Christian Gal Says:

    Also,

    Jesus is not a man; He is Emmanuel (God with us), a part of the Holy Trinity who came down from glory and lived in a human body, and so, He can understand what it feels like to be human, and as the Bible says ‘He was tempted and yet knew no sin’, this is why He can claim with authority to be our Saviour because He conquered death and the grave and took back His rightful place on the right hand side of God. Jesus is Perfect and He is God.

    Like

  70. wondering Says:

    thanks to mavuno for the awesome services. i liked the service last week but i have a question. what is you have a pink man that is convinced he is NOT a pink man? he can see other men as pink men but he believes he is a REAL man? and being the woman in this case where everything inside me is screaming to shout it out to him(lakini i havent).. how do you get such men to see their PINKNESS?

    Like

  71. Can all the real Men say Aaah Huuu! Thanks pst simon for the insightful sermon, I believe men have got to be men . The way you projected the whole sermon was brilliant. God bless

    Like

  72. @ christian girl

    when i was in lower primary school, my parents would leave me with the house-help afternoon coz school was half day.one of these ladies used to “fondle”-touching places they ought not to have- with me without my permission.does this count as abuse?

    when i was in middle school, my “best friend”-a guy who was like 5 years older than touched me in places he shouldn’t have touched without my permission.does this count as abuse?

    but as you said i haven’t experienced abuse “like you”.i however chose to forgive these people coz God had forgiven me and am HAPPY!!!

    i can’t claim to understand the trauma Dave has gone through but am joining you in praying for him and telling him to talk with pasi.

    Like

  73. i believe jesus was fully man and fully God.baraka

    Like

  74. @helpinghand – the young men DO have role models….of how to go hide out in the bar and be irresponsible 🙂 …ok I know its not funny! Love your vision, esp as am the single mother of a young boy, I say please go ahead and do it. You didnt give an email address though….

    Like

  75. Christian Gal Says:

    @Waleh,

    With all honesty, I would also call your experiences abuse, because such things should not happen to children. I believe that these experiences do shape our lives.

    You can only truly forgive when you let yourself relive the experience and resolve it by taking intentional steps to bring closure. It might affect you later in life, and that is why I said that I cannot even begin to understand how Dave feels.

    My defining experience in life was totally different because as someone barely out of childhood, I saw the one dearest to me die a slow painful death (2.5 years) battling with a terminal disease and I know how that feels and how it changed my life, and how it affects me even today.

    Worse still, those around me wished away my problem and told me Jesus was the solution??? you know, just get saved and everything will be alright. Everything was definitely not alright because I had emotional problems and many unresolved issues which many years later after trying to understand myself and some counselling have started to be unraveled. I now understand why I am the way I am, and why I behave the way I do.

    Ignoring issues and hiding them does not make them go away because they will manifest sooner or later and you will have an individual who always feels the victim, lacks self confidence and for my case I was someone who for a very long time remained stunted emotionally (I refused to grow up).

    But there is hope beacuse God began a work in me many years ago and I can say with confidence that I am not where I used to be, and I have made progress, and I will get even better.

    Which is why I thank God for professionals and for those who are caring enough to listen and try to understand an individual and try to separate the person from the problem.

    God bless.

    Like

  76. Christian Gal Says:

    @ Nancy,

    I think the mentoring should be done as a structured program if it is being done by the church and not communication over a blog. By structured, I mean, it should be overseen by the church who I am sure will select and train people whose testimonies are known.

    As you can see, even I do not use my real name.

    Like

  77. Encouraged Says:

    @ Dave and all who have been abused. I know that after abuse one suffers & has alot of fear and anger. Fear and anger are actually the same coin-so to speak. Dave, from my experience, you need to deal with the feelings before getting into a relationship that could lead to marriage. Unless one heals an abused person tends to abuse others or continues to get abused. Mode of abuse may change e.g. previously got raped but now gets raped and is battered.
    The good news is that all this can be prayed away!! Sometimes Pastors may not have the time you need for personal healing but Christ has all the time you need. I hope you get someone who can help you but even if you don’t talk to Christ in your anger and your fears. In my journey I have learnt that God is still God whether am happy or sad, sick or broke. He is patient and understanding so talk to Him. Tell Him, am angry NOW. Am feeling I HATE THAT MAN NOW…… he reminds me of the one who did…..
    Be specific on the actual encounter illustrating exactly what happened, how you felt and consequences thereafter. Do this as often as you need to.
    You will be amazed at God’s mercy and kindness. You actually end up praying for yourself, your abusers and any other person who makes you fearful or angry. Healing will be received by all.
    So forge forward and remember courage is fear in prayer (Psalm 91 and 141 are beautiful prayers against attack)

    Like

  78. @waleh, I feel you totally on the forgiveness as i too had to forgive those who hurt me for there to be any real healing in my life…the thing with forgiveness is that you don’t really have to feel like doing it to do it…mostly it is done by faith. Terrible things have happened to most of us if not all but i always take comfort in Jesus telling us to be of good cheer as He has overcome the world. These situations that were supposed to break us…have only made us stronger…am stronger, healthier, happier in Christ despite the hurt i have gone through

    @dave you now see, you are not alone…others like Waleh have gone through something similar to your experience and got out, there is hope…I will definately pray for you my brother!

    Like

  79. Pastor S, thanks for being real and getting under my skin, in a good way. My eyes have opened a bit to my wife’s frustrations, specifically to the fact that parts of the initiator in me are asleep and need to wake up.

    @ Arap Too, desire is a beginning, but you have to come full circle as you cannot change yourself and deal with the past the way God would do. All you can do is come just as you are and let God begin the work of turning your life inside out and right side up. Dexo and Heartfelt said it like it is; God is in the habit of taking caterpillars into butterflies.

    @ Dave, I personally can’t relate. That said, keep in mind that anything that is not forgiven is held within, polluting the rich streams of life within you, AND will eventually be released in a manner that will impact negatively on you. In a very real sense, to forgive is to take the trash out of the house to a place where it can be disposed of. Make use of Pastor Simon’s number and begin the process of taking out the trash. I’m praying for you.

    Like

  80. @sugar ,you jua this section in the daily nation paper of “this date in History”,a couple of weeks ago i saw a photo of Obako sorry President Kibaki and Tom Mboya in 1965.

    He was in the economic….strategy…planning…dream team to ensure every home in kenya has piped water and elec by 1978.

    then came 1980s and again he was in the com of ensuring kenya is a second world country by the year 2000.

    then juzi he threw us one of Vision 2030.think he’s more burnt pink than pink.

    seriously how do you be in gorvernent that long and still have nerves!!!

    Like

  81. @Christian Gal, it is clear from your story that you have been seriously hurt in the past and no one deserves to go through such pain. As you have rightly stated, no one truly understands someone else’s pain, even if we have experienced pain ourselves.

    One thing I can say though, this sermon (again by pst S) helped me put things in focus:

    [audio src="http://www.mavunochurch.org/j/images/stories/sermons/attitude_for_altitude/03_vengeance_of_forgiveness.mp3" /]

    Perhaps the message can serve as a starting point for us as we seek healing, knowing that it is a process and not something that happens in an instant.

    Like

  82. hi guys, thanks for your contributions.there are guys who have said they can’t relate to what i said.others do not know if am a dude or a chic..am a guy as in male. someone older than me undressed me, kissed me, fondled me but thanks did not rape me. at times i HATE GUYS n other times i want to do the stuff that happened to me with a another guy. at the same time am also attracted to chics.i even had sexual encounters with chics.but they never know my other feelings. how can i forgive someone who ruined my life?but if it will help i will try. i will get in touch with passy. thanks to the guys who responded. but if there is anyone out there going through the same thing i am and has managed to pull through please get in touch with me at davidlutsa@yahoo.com. thanks.

    Like

  83. @ David

    A question you may want to consider is: What if you don’t begin the process of healing within by seeking counsel and finding the grace to forgive those who violated you, indeed even a man to walk with you?

    In a very real sense, pink men are warriors carrying wounds that need attention for them to be useful to their families, leave alone the King who calls them into battle.

    Like

  84. Christian gal Says:

    david. on the inability to forgive i totally understand you because i lost so many of my earlier years in emotional turmoil. I feel cheated, wronged, ignored but then i stumbled upon a simple truth; i need to get these emotions resolved or else life will pass me by; let go for yourself, take little steps daily and you will win this battle. i believe you can. I still believe pastor simon is the best person to talk to because he had started a support group for men with similar experiences last year. You are in my prayers.

    Like

  85. hey Pst S

    I’ve read material by Ed Cole and i think it will be a great resource to suggest to guys to have alongside the ones you proposed.he was a great leader of men like Benny Hinn on healing now.i especially liked maximized manhood.

    Like

  86. Hi all, thanx for your great contributions.
    Lots of the questions or concerns will be addressed within the month.
    @ Wendy 1, glad your hubby came for GT, sure God will work in him to make him His man.
    @ Arap Too, good progress, praying for ya.. U will get there.
    @HelpingHand, pls lets talk on sunday about your good suggestion.
    @Dave, God loves you and cares about the pain you have gone thro. I pray that thro the series God will answer your qns, heal you and point out to you the way forward.
    Thanx all again, looking forward to what God will do this month.

    Like

  87. It was my second time at mavuno church and will never leave…I think it is God sent and a blessing to me especially as am going thru a trying moment..I hope the sermon changes all the men out thea who are out to ruin lives…i have always wondered why a man who loves and cares for his family can go around confessing he is not married, sleep around with ladies who give out their hearts out of love and not material gain.It becomes burdensome for me to find out you are married with children after i have made commitment with you.. why cant you men stand up as real men and say they are married….period! we need real men in this country for heavensake. I hope this month at Mavuno help transform most of them. I pray that 1 day God delivers me from my burdened heart and restores my trust in men to be able to love again.Thank u, God bless.

    Like

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