Refresh Challenge – My Future. My Choice

When it comes to sex, are we acting in ignorance or do we understand the consequence of our choices?


We live in an over-sexualised society, and I believe our biggest problem today is our ignorance to the fact that our choices today will affect our tomorrow. We have separated what we do today from the life we live tomorrow. And this ignorance has resulted in stories of regret, confusion and pain. When it comes to sex, are we acting in ignorance or do we understand the consequence of our choices?

Today, we’re going to look at a story in the Bible of a man who was hugely successful, but one day made a choice that had huge consequences for the rest of his life. See 2 Sam 11:1-5. Let’s walk through the small choices that David made and how it affected his life in future.

a) David was in the wrong place. Verse 1 – While it was not unheard of for a king to stay home and send his troops to battle, it was unusual, especially for David, who was a warrior and a man of action. So rather than being in battle with his men, David was home, napping. If David had been where he was supposed to be, none of what follows would have happened. We compromise our values and convictions because we put ourselves in compromising situations. Don’t put yourself in places where you are likely to be tempted!

b) David looked. 11:2 – David got up from a nap and took a walk on the roof of his palace—looked down and saw a woman bathing. In Matthew 5:27–28, Jesus makes it clear that adultery starts with the look—the look that desires, that lusts and fantasizes. Wrong acts start with wrong thoughts. We commit sexual sin with someone mentally long before we do so physically.

c) David investigated. 11:3 – David crossed a line: he acted on his fantasy. He went online and Googled this woman. He wanted to know who she was, if she was available, and willing. Today, I talk with more and more people whose affairs started on the internet. The internet has made it possible to investigate quickly and discreetly. An old flame resurfaces via Facebook; or we do a search and connect via email. Here’s the thing about investigation: like David, we do it discreetly, in secret. And anything you do in secret should set off an alarm! Danger! Danger!

d) David sought her out. 11:4 – After investigating, David decides to pursue the relationship. Think how this happens today. You see someone attractive at work. You look. You let yourself wonder. You fantasize. Then you find out who they are, what floor they work on, where they go to lunch, what car they drive. You position yourself to bump into them, talk to them, get to know them. You arrange a “business lunch.” “Nothing will happen,” you tell yourself, but you know you’re skating on thin ice.

e) David slept with her. 11:4 – At every step along the way, David could have turned back, but didn’t. Now he’s committed adultery. What started as an innocent stroll on veranda has ended in sexual sin.

That one act – that probably to David was innocent pleasure – had begun a chain of events that would damage his legacy, destroy his family and spoil everything he had spent his life building. Don’t trade away your future for momentary pleasures.

Let me ask you a question? Are setting up your children and your future generation to fail or succeed in life? The answer is in the choices you are making NOW!

For those who have already messed up, there is good news in this story. The amazing thing is that God not only forgave David, when he asked for forgiveness, but He continued to be his friend. David may have suffered from the consequences, but God’s grace was big enough to give him a second chance. What is God calling us to do?….ABCs

         Admit it to God – Turn humbly to God and ask Him to forgive you.

         Break the cycle – .Take a 30-day fast from things that tempt and push you to sexual sin.

         Commit to an Accountability Group. Text or call someone you trust to hold you accountable to your boundaries with the opposite sex.

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