Is She Worth Fighting For? – Born to Bless: The Homemaker

Who is more naturally inclined to take care of the home? Man or woman? And why?

5yrtyrt

This month’s series seeks to define the woman as God defined her: Is she worth fighting for? Who is that woman worth fighting for? What does it mean to be feminine? Last week we talked about the Queen: Beauty & Brains. Today we look at another quality of a great woman. The Homemaker:

The woman has come a long way. She has, in time past, and still today in some parts of the world, been assigned home and the kitchen as her exclusive place. During the industrial revolution, women stayed at home to nurture the children as the men went out there to look for provision as they worked in industries. Dads left home, and we have dealt with the absence and passivity of men at home since.

Then modernity checked in, and the woman went out to the office as well. With the traditional family-driven economy gone, the woman needed to find significance and expression at the marketplace now very different from what it was. Both parents now needed to find time for the children, and for the first time kids began to go home not to parents but workers.

One of the most powerful aspects of femininity is homemaking. This includes motherhood as well. The picture of a mum holding her baby/babies and nurturing them draws various emotions. But for various reasons, homemaking including mothering is no longer as attractive to the woman as it was.

Our sermon text is 1 Samuel 25:18-25

Mbevi: Preaching with me is a woman who is an Executive Pastor here at Mavuno and a homemaker as well, Pastor Carol. Tell us a bit about your family.

Wanjau: I am a proud mother of 3 wonderful kids. I love them, they bring so much joy to me it is just amazing. I could not trade that for anything in the world.

Mbevi: I know a woman’s pride, at the end of the day is her home. She might be a career woman, but she finds great satisfaction at home. Is that true?

C.Wanjau: Pst Simon, not every woman will agree with that statement. You see there is nothing exciting about changing diapers and taking care of the house. The world does not look at you with awe and admiration when you say your greatest goal is to be a mum.

Mbevi: Pst Carol, I hear you. I would say though that a woman is born for relationships. She places a high value on what happens at home. Studies show that long even before a girl knows her gender, she is more concerned about people or faces than things.

C.Wanjau: Pst S, I think today’s women have been socialized differently. You see we were raised to perform. We were pushed to work hard at school and get good grades. Our mothers taught us not to be dependent on men but to provide for ourselves. But then there are those women who have chosen to stay at home and look after their families. I know some women who are criticized by their own mums for staying at home to look after kids citing this as a waste of time and good education. These same women are not appreciated either by other women folk. They are looked upon with pity and are thought of as being oppressed by their husbands

Mbevi: I think Pst Carol what you are describing is brokenness. Many times we are able to tell the purpose of something by studying its design. If you look at a woman’s body, her shape, her womb, her muscular tone which is a bit softer than that of men, the fact that she is the one who carries the baby and later nurses it, suggests that the woman was created to bring life into this world, to nurture it and also care for it. Mothering has no parallel. It is the most powerful thing a woman can do!

C.Wanjau: Pst Simon. That right there sounds heavenly. But, it really does not feel that way. The perks at work make so much more sense, which makes the struggle very real for those women who have to balance work and home.

Mbevi: I think the real issue Pst Carol is that women may not fully appreciate their role as home-makers. I am not saying you stay at home and give up marketplace influence, I just think the woman needs to be reminded of the power of home-making. The spirit of the home is a direct reflection of the spirit of the woman in the home.

Wanjau: Pst Simon, that is awesome. But let me tell you how it works out nowadays. It is all outsourced. A woman knows she is very busy at work but she is also a great manager at home. She plans the menu ahead of time, has a nanny to take care of the kids and then after that she has suppliers. She has a vegetable and fruit guy, a milk guy she can even do her shopping online and get her groceries delivered at home and then she has a taxi guy who picks the kids from school or the one who drops off kids at birthday parties. Isn’t that the art of home-making?

Mbevi: Pst C. that is a manager not a home-maker. There is convenience but there is also taking it too far. But back to the text. Abigail, is she a mother/homemaker? And what qualities does a great homemaker possess? That is what we want to look at. A great homemaker mentors. She mentors others – girls, younger women or wives, workmates and whoever needs guidance in the journey of life. Home extends to community.

Wanjau: I think mentoring is natural to women. In fact, many women love to help young girls and women become the women they should become. And let me tell you, because I have done it, it is so fulfilling. It is a way of giving life. I love how Eve is introduced in the Bible: Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living. (Genesis 3:20) Women incubate and give or share life.

Mbevi: Yes, a woman models femininity for the girls around her. I am sure every girl around Abigail wanted to be like her when she grew up. Respectful of her husband, an intercessor, a caring mum and an influence outside of home. Great women mentor others both passively and actively. I think every woman should have a younger woman/girl she is meeting with constantly to mentor. At work or in the neighborhood.

Wanjau: I love this mentoring thing because I do not have to have children to be this woman we are talking about today. A single woman can be a mentor to high school girls. A woman in her 40s can mentor those young in marriage. It is an opportunity for every woman to ‘mother.’ But especially at home when I become or I am a mother, I am a mentor to all the girls around me and I model femininity to the boys.

Mbevi: A homemaker is a designer. She designs an environment and turns it from a house to a home – a place of life. It is clear that Abigail was a homemaker. She worked with her helpers to put together supplies for David’s men. She cooked, or supervised it. She was in charge of what happened in that space. Her servants were loyal to her. She was engaged at home. When a woman puts effort to make a creative home, ensure great food is available (and cook once in a while), and organize the home to be conducive for her small civilization, she wins big.

Wanjau: Designed to design. I love this. You know I didn’t know what this was about until we moved house and my husband and I got into a big old ‘discussion’ about the way our home needed to look like and I realized whereas for him it is what functionally worked, for me it was a ‘nesting’ thing. I wanted to put things that reflect our identity as a family, our passions, our thoughts and aspirations – now we haven’t come round to it but as we talk, I can see why for me the conversation became ‘big’.

Mbevi: I wish as women you understand what home is. You may never get an award for making a home for your children to grow with great attitudes, laugh, enjoy nutritious food and love the way it looks. Your husband may never take you to Rome or Malindi for making the castle the place he wants to come home to – for refuge and relaxation – but you influence a small civilization right there by designing a nest for greatness. Eternity will reward you.

Wanjau: Thanks Pst S. We wish for us married women that our husbands would affirm us more in this role because sometimes we wonder whether it matters to anyone.

Mbevi: Even for those who are not married, you are a designer! Take it beyond home. I am a creative, but my wife still brings a touch of finesse that I could never master.

Mbevi: The third quality of a great home-maker, and probably the most foundational of the three, is that she cares. A great homemaker mentors, designs and cares! I see smart and sweet women, mothers at heart – taking a great risk and preparing excellently to keep their own family.

Wanjau: She cares so much that she is providing for her family.

Mbevi: The care I am talking about is the one where a woman understands that there is a quality of care that only she can provide. Dad’s care is different, maybe rough. Mum’s care is special and tender. Mums have been given an ability to empathize deeply, a quality that is much needed in this day and age.

Wanjau: Pst Simon this caring looks like it calls for a lot of emotional capacity on the part of the woman.

Mbevi: Yes it does and it makes all the difference in the world. I also see Abigail in the bible caring by interceding. She influences away from home to succeed at home. When Abigail met the king, she bowed the knee and interceded for her family and community. A true woman uses the gift of words to speak for others. She values family deeply. She also uses her gift of speech to teach the kids language, hence mother-tongue.

Wanjau: What does that really look like in daily life? Break it down a bit.

Mbevi: Make time to be there for your family. You play a very significant role there. Make a meal or two once in a while. Ensure home is inviting and warm.

Also use your motherly heart at work as well. With your gift of word and voice, stand in the gap for others wherever you are placed. As a worker in HR, a leader in the bank, a corporate CEO and a neighbor, bring your caring nature there. Look into other people’s needs. The caring quality of a woman should not be restricted to home.

There is nothing like a perfect mother. You just need to be a committed one.

Wanjau: Let us work at being caring at home and at work as this is the way God created us.

Mbevi: Ladies, are you showing care at home, at work and in your relationships? Are you giving life by nurturing others around you? Do you give a slated time to mentoring others? Do you have someone at work you are walking with? Are you mentoring younger women or even new recruits at work?

Wanjau: You know Pst Simon, if these women are anything like me then it will take a little while for this homemaking message to sink home. It will take a little while to understand the power and privilege of being at the center of life and influencing through caring, mentoring and designing. This week show care and concern for one colleague and take time to pray for them even you do it privately. If you are a mum, take time to really listen to your children this week. Make one night a family night and eat together. Ask their high and low for the week and it will amaze you to discover what your children are going through.

Mbevi: This is what I would say to the men

  • Appreciate and support the women around you for and in their efforts at home: as mothers, mentors and designs.
  • Help with home chores. Don’t just sit there. Help with the baby, with cooking and be present with the kids.
  • Some of you have had mother wounds. Forgive, let go and set yourself free.

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2 Responses to “Is She Worth Fighting For? – Born to Bless: The Homemaker”

  1. My dear pastors Simon Mbevi and Carol Wanjau. Thank you very much for the sermon. But i feel that not enough justice was done to this particular sermon. I found it very hard to connect.

    I came to church and expected to learn as a man what i need to do, or rather how to fight for, and appreciate my woman.

    “Is she worth fighting for” but I felt like the sermon (instead of it being directed to men) was being directed to women to change or embrace motherhood, and not showing us men that our women are worth fighting for.

    Let me say at this point that i’m not only married, but a happily married man. It sounded like women have to do something or be to be worth fighting for. How about the women who are single, or not necessarily called to marriage (by the way, marriage is not called for everyone, but the pressure from our culture dictates so).

    Did this sermon make the unmarried feel worth being fought for? I trust we will hear more on the coming sermons.

    And for us men, it sounded like we need to help more in the house and children. I think its not a choice. Its our obligation to be part homemakers. Thats why some of us say that they are helping in babysitting. Thats madness. This child is does not belong to me any lesser than my wifes.

    There needs to be a mind-shift here. Men, fighting for the woman means that you should not only respect and affirm what she does, but also take up responsibility in home affairs. DO NOT look at it as her work and you are helping. God created a woman as the helper, not us. This means that a man was to do all this things and therefore relieving himself of duties and becoming the helper is totally nuts.

    If i let my wife be the ultimate homemaker, its will follow that even the responsibility of raising children will lie squarely on her. But if we look at this as a partnership, then, even raising our kids will be a partnership. So is career and all other areas of life.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Most women today have very little time to make home as we chase after our blossoming careers. thank you for the reminder and for those who have managed to find a balance in their lives,am totally proud of you all and those making an effort i acknowledge you too.

    Liked by 1 person

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