Is She Worth Fighting For? – Beauty and Brains: The Queen

In a world built on cut throat competition, rivalry and backstabbing how does a lady live out godly femininity?


This month we will be talking about the Woman –What kind of a woman is worth fighting for?
For you as a woman, whatever your age, you will find a biblical understanding of femininity as designed by the master. We will encourage you to unleash the woman within, to appreciate your significant calling and to fully embrace your femininity – which is a gift to the world. Woman, this is your series. Invite your girlfriends and let us learn together.

This is a men’s series too. Man, you will get to understand the woman: What does a great woman look like? For the unmarried men, you will get to know what to look out for and pray for as you consider different women.
For the married men, you will begin to appreciate your woman in enlightened ways and know how to support her in being herself and living out her calling. For the dads, we will understand what to father our daughters into!
There has been a war against gender over the centuries. The gender confusion that we find ourselves in is threatening the very basic institution of family and the stability of society.
Women have lived (and still live to some degree) under oppressive cultures. They have been mis-defined by culture and misused by the powerful.
In reaction to this, some good and some bad has come out of various feminist movements. Gender wars have increased. Gender neutrality and gender-transition have become common words in our culture. (LGBT)
That was never God’s desire. Gender needs redemption – restoration to the original picture. In the beginning, God created gender as an expression of who he is.
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27)
Gender (male and female) is God’s design, a gift to humanity and a spiritual foundation. To attack gender, masculinity or femininity, is to attack the very foundation of society. It is more than a socio-political issue; it is a spiritual reality.
What is God’s glorified design for the woman? Can we even trust the Bible to paint this picture for us? Yes, biblical characters may be overwhelmingly male, the authors mainly men, but there is no other religious book that respects and defines women with honor as the Bible does.
Our first sermon today is The Queen: Beauty and Brains! Preaching with me this month is Pst Carol.
Our sermon text today is 1 Samuel 25
S. Mbevi: Welcome Pst Carol. What do we encounter in the sermon text today?
C. Wanjau. I see a beautiful, intelligent woman married to an arrogant foolish man. From a woman’s perspective, I simply cannot understand why he is behaving badly. David’s request to him is so reasonable; I have taken care of your men, now please take care of me and my men. What is so unreasonable about this, what was going on with Nabal?
S. Mbevi: It was probably an ego issue … men generally like to know who is in charge, hence the hierarchy thing. Nabal, a wealthy and influential man, may have felt disrespected by the way David (a defector) approached him. Men love to play the ‘who do you think you are’ game.
C. Wanjau: Fair enough Pst Simon. I believe we are discussing the work place: Men even there behave badly. Take the case of sexual harassment: Men range from down – right obscenities and crude sexual comments to in- appropriate sexual attention and intimidation. I have heard women talk about work place politics where there is a lot of competition, back stabbing, male bosses shooting down ideas only for someone to hear that idea being presented by the boss as the boss’s own; male bosses dropping balls and expecting you the woman to cover up for him and when you do he takes the full credit! – the list is endless. Let me tell you Pst Simon – it’s a jungle out there and survival is only for the fittest!
S. Mbevi: I agree it’s a jungle out there, and even seemingly a man’s world, but I am calling on women to engage differently and not allow the jungle to make them animals.
C. Wanjau: Pst Simon that is easy to say. You see in the jungle, you have to play according to jungle rules. Because of the harshness and competition women have had no option but to adapt. Because of this women have had to become as brash and as competitive as men using whatever assets we have to win. Women do you feel me –
So we have become like men: we back stab, steal ideas, shoot down other people ideas, only to own them as our own and we also make use of what our mama gave us and we flaunt it. Someone actually told me that they use sex appeal as a business strategy. The male colleagues do the presentation and the sexy female colleague who closes the deal! And you know what? It works like magic each time!
S. Mbevi: Are you saying to be manly is to be bad? Let me first of all say there is sin. Both men and women are behaving badly but in the bible story today we are looking to learn how a certain woman behaved nobly in the face of a man behaving badly. She used her assets to win and she used them in a godly way:
a) Beauty – The Bible consistently affirms feminine beauty. For Abigail, it says: “She was an intelligent and beautiful woman…” Another version says she had ‘lovely features’. I believe that beauty is a gift and one of the assets God has given you as women for positive influence in the jungle.
Pastor C, you look beautiful today. Hope that’s a welcome statement.

C. Wanjau: Well yes, which woman does not want to hear that she is beautiful or pretty? It is the most visible quality of a queen. And she loves it when people genuinely notice. But truly speaking, like some women here, I do not feel quite easy about such compliments.
True though, beauty has gotten many women to the door of influence in the media, marketing, cabin crew, front office and business. But there is a reason why many women disdain or play down beauty. We feel some men abuse it to treat us as sex objects. And also, when some see a pretty woman they think that’s all she has or is. I just don’t want to bring a pretty face to work, I have more to offer and I want to be recognized as such. I am more than how I look.

S. Mbevi. Well put Carol. And who defines beauty? I think it is the body God gives you at its best. And well adorned: Nice hairdo. Lovely clothing… should I go on? Whereas beauty should be appreciated, it should not be taken to the two extremes: covering up your beauty with dull, manly clothing or wearing tight and revealing clothes. Men respect decent beautiful women.

C. Wanjau. But Pst Simon this can be very confusing what exactly do you mean?

S. Mbevi. Talking of good, flowing or bright and feminine clothes whether dresses or trouser suits – but decent. I believe ladies here know what I am saying! Don’t be afraid to look feminine, dress appropriately.

C. Wanjau. Ladies – we know how to kill a man – what Pst Simon is saying is we dress according to what we want to sell. If you dress a certain way then you say you are available, but if you dress respectfully then you will be respected.

S. Mbevi. But beauty is beyond the physical. There is inner beauty: attitude, spirit, confidence, voice and one’s expression. Aby in this text must have dressed up before she left home to meet David. She also uses her humble spirit to disarm an angry king. Reminds me of 1 Peter 3:3-5, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of a your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is great worth in God’s sight.”
C. Wanjau: Pst Simon, I don’t know if that is possible. Remember we are working in jungle conditions where humility equals weakness. Humility is a career-limiting move! What Abigail is doing sounds like kissing up. And already because women are disadvantaged, it sounds like a very vulnerable and threatening thing to do. Yet we should not neglect our beauty – it glorifies God and it is a great contribution we make to the world we live in. Women should handle beauty responsibly – not using it to confuse the visual gender and get the prize, nor by refusing to acknowledge it and playing it down. Beauty is part of us; lets embrace it. Especially the humble spirit, I think this conquers the male ego.

S. Mbevi. Yes it does and a woman who lives out her womanhood ina godly way is very respectable.

C. Wanjau. What I hear you say is for women to use our beauty responsibly, especially the inner beauty of a pure and humble spirit because it is our no. 1 asset. We will do our part and trust God to do the rest. But Pst Simon, they say niceness does not put bread on the table, neither does it get you the corner office!
S. Mbevi. Girls, it may not always work, but it is the right thing to do. There are two levels of winning, the character win (who you are and who you become in the process) and the prize win (what you get in the process – pay rise, promotion and the deal)
C. Wanjau. An influential queen is Beautiful. Asset 2?

S. Mbevi. b) Wisdom– the second asset Abigail used was Wisdom. She made the right judgment. She understood her husband was making a poor decision and rather than gossip about him among her friends, she acted to avert the disaster that was coming her way. She knew who David was and how to address him. She knew her home and her world and what God was doing. She had great negotiation skills.
The Proverbs 31 woman is wise: “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” (Prov. 31:26)
Intuition, a gift more natural to women than men, plays a key role as well. Unfortunately men don’t always appreciate this quality and many times your ideas will be shot down. Pst Carol has this been true for you?
C. Wanjau. Very true and it can be very painful. Because of this some women can be very tentative in giving ideas which means men get to share all the ideas some of which the women know will not work. What should a woman do from a man’s perspective?
S. Mbevi. As much as possible provide facts to back your thoughts. Men respond a lot more easily to facts than intuition. Where facts are not available, explain that you have this gut feeling, and do it with a good tone. Throw it to the table and see what happens.
But now to the men: be secure and intelligent enough to appreciate intuitive opinions.
C. Wanjau. Does this really work? In all the training we go through we are encouraged to be assertive, push our ideas to ‘lean in’
S. Mbevi. Sometimes you need to lean back, not push your ideas, and appeal to your colleagues with tact.
C. Wanjau. An influential queen is Beautiful and Wise. So what is the third asset a woman can use to fearlessly influence?
S. Mbevi. Thirdly, an influential queen is c) Responsible. Abigail acted responsibly for the salvation of her family. She put together supplies for David’s 600 men, knew how to negotiate with the king-in-waiting and she did all this on time. She had the mind and the courage (heart) to do what needed to be done. She refused to have her skills and gifts only limited to her role at home; she displayed them effectively in the marketplace. And she shone there.

C. Wanjau: Pst Simon I understand some women dress in certain ways to cover up for their lack of preparation or excellence at work, is that true?

S. Mbevi. I have heard and even seen such cases, where women expect standards to be lowered for them or to get away with a not so good presentation because of gender or looks or drama. Give your best, girls. Be excellent. At times you may have to give more than the men around you to get noticed. Every woman is invited by God to responsibly use her queenly influence – through her passions, skills and gifts – to affect her world. Esther influenced political decisions. Pilate’s wife influenced a powerful man from her side-seat. Godly women are fearless influencers. Responsible with their talents and assignments!

C. Wanjau. I agree Pst S. What I hear you say is that as women we should not expect to have influence without pulling our weight, working hard and smart, and bringing to bear what God has given us. Abigail quickly prepared supplies for 600 men, organized people to deliver them, wrote a speech and hasten to meet David and to deliver it effectively. She was a responsible woman. Not lazy, not mediocre and not late. Women, that’s who we should be. Let our work speak for itself. So what we have said is: An influential Queen is Beautiful, Wise and Responsible. Do you think this will make us win at work?

S. Mbevi. Absolutely. But Pst Carol at the end of the day our faith is in God. Clearly Abigail was a godly woman. She spoke to David about God’s plan and she had confidence that God would do it. She trusted God. And it paid of. At the end of the day, we need to depend on the King of kings for fruit and influence.
C.Wanjau. Amen to that. Many women I have talked to feel like they cannot win at work if they bring their femininity. We lose ourselves when we become ‘men at work’. Win as a woman and use your God-given feminine strength. Live free and shine on. An influential Queen is Beautiful, Wise and Responsible.
What would tell the men Pst S?
S. Mbevi. Men, appreciate beauty and treat women with respect. Realize women have more to offer – give them opportunity, encourage them and work with them as they find their greatness. A real man cheers a woman on!
C. Wanjau I should add: understand women are different and allow them to be. Do not be threatened by the differences, and do not see them as having developmental gaps. Work with us, give us the space to use our relational, intuitive and caring skills to make the marketplace a more humane place. True ladies?
S. Mbevi. I agree, absolutely. Moreover, we are not in competition. Male bosses: remunerate your female workers just as well as your men. And listen to their intelligent ideas and intuition. Work with God to show the glory of God expressed in femininity.
C. Wanjau: Women I want us to make us a commitment not to use our beauty for selfish ends but rather to honor God as we serve others. Not to be drama queens, gossiping, blaming others and even putting others down. Instead we shall take full responsibility for our work and pull our weight.

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7 Responses to “Is She Worth Fighting For? – Beauty and Brains: The Queen”

  1. Hope the video is available on youtube soon. Seems like this was on heck of a sermon.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. the sermon was amazing. God has a place of honor for women. good to hear.
    can i add that a ‘gentle and quiet spirit’ isn’t referencing our voice/opinion. speak up ladies. our voice is needed in the kingdom.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Women who marry “foolish” men like Abigail did often put the men down in public or disassociate with them completely. What this sermon taught me was that, in as much us we may be different as a couple, disrespect isn’t the way to go round folly but an intelligent woman uses her wit to win whatever battle is before her. God gave you the beauty, brains and humility for diplomatic reasons. Don’t be quick to start a war but rather help stop a war….. #BeautyNBrains till next Sunday.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Proudmavunite Says:

    Thanks Pst Simon & Pst Carol for this awesome word. I was truly blessed to think of my womanhood differently. One thing however that I struggled with about the sermon, is that a majority of the teachings on women was presented against the measuring stick on how men respond to women. I think it unfortunate and even in some cases ungodly, when women are taught how to be women based on what men think, perceive and appreciate.

    I wholly appreciate and agree that it is of the essence in specific cases, to consider womanhood in relation to manhood (and vice versa) – I think it’s important to teach women about womanhood just as that – womanhood. None of the “because men appreciate this, because men think like this, because men will take you more seriously” – unless the discussion is relevant to a specific context of interaction with men.

    For too long, womanhood has been measured on the basis of whether men approve or appreciate – I pray we can move towards teaching and understanding womanhood on a stand alone basis, not always in the context of being in relation to men.

    I wholly believe, agree and affirm that womanhood and manhood exist as necessary, complementary and joint elements of society. It would be nice though for more development of God’s essence of womanhood aside from what men appreciate, approve, perceive and connect with.

    Blessed as always at home in Mavuno, looking forward to the rest of this great sermon!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The sermon was moving because it brought out much of the pain I carry at the workplace. I didn’t succeed in holding back my tears.

    However, it seems to assume that most men in the workplace are Davids, when they’re actually Nabals.

    There are two distinct men in that passage, one who is a man after God’s heart but with a weakness for beautiful women, and another who was a total jerk. Abigail pleaded with the first, and the fact remains that she defied the other. More than that, Nabal was so obnoxious that he annoyed not just the women, but also the men. And in the face of that anger, Abigail dared to teach the eventual king of Israel that vengeance belongs to the Lord. And God did avenge her. How many men are man enough to be like David and listen to women?

    I felt that the sermon cut Nabal too much slack and played down Abigail’s defiance. If Nabal wouldn’t listen to David, a man who protected him, there’s no way he was going to listen to a modestly dressed, soft-talking woman. That’s why he ignored her welfare when he was insulting David. Nabals dominate the Kenyan workplace, and there’s need for a conversation about what is turning our men into Nabals. Otherwise, godly women have no choice but to defy them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Much as it is true that we have many Nabals in today society, it is also important to note that Abigail did not necessarily act defiantly. If you observe carefully, the servant came to her, after seeing Nabals response to David, meaning he understood in that whole household, who else was actually in a position to act.
      In Gen 18, when Abraham was entertaining the angels, he told Sarah to prepare certain things, showing that in Nabals household, since he was entertaining many, Abigail had certain jurisdiction, and what she did was act within her jurisdiction to protect her home.
      This doesn’t negate Nabals foolishness, but it shows that as women we can wisely act within our area of influence to effect change.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. when a queen is told she is beautiful it is done with respect and dignity.
    what is presented is like a guy with sharp teeth and claws drooling saliva and other digestive juices wanting to devour prey. Once they are done they leave the carcas for the hyenas to fight over.

    Liked by 1 person

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