Different Strokes – Chef’s Choice

It is unnecessary to continue living with a wounded sexuality while there is healing in Christ.


This month we have been going through a sermon series different strokes in which we explore the attitudes and beliefs that are prevalent in this day and age. In the first week we had a sermon ‘Self Service’ where we learnt that we live in a self-service world. I do what I want, when I want, how I want – and when I am done, I tell the world when I want, how I want. This is the nature of our world. Our sex life and our sexuality have not been left out. Sex is also available on self-service. Self-pleasure is encouraged as a viable choice for our sexuality.

In the second week we had the sermon ‘A La Carte’ where we explored the issue that ours is a world of choices. Everything seems to have an option, including our understanding of sexual preferences and attractions  Now what we know is that there are 15 different forms of sexuality and the ones that top that list or what most of us are familiar with, is homosexuality which means, a person whose sexual preference is members of the same sex.

Last week we had the sermon ‘Take Away’ where we realized that hardly a day goes by before we can get advice from one newspaper or other, one magazine or other on how to improve our sex lives with your partner. The question is usually the amount of pleasure you can get for yourself; the question is hardly ever – is this the right person you should be having sex with. Sex is a good thing. It is a very good thing. It is a gift from God. It however is made to be in the context of a marriage between a man and his wife. Sex with anyone outside of marriage is not consistent with God’s plan.

And if there is one thing we have learned through this sermon it is that we ought to have Jesus centred thoughts: you are not your own; we are in a battle for our minds. Someone has written a script for you about how you should have sex. Pst Linda has often taught us that there are no neutral spaces any more. You take control of your script or take someone else’s script. We learnt that God intends for us to be aligned with him in terms of our sex. Our alignment begins with our thoughts. Masturbation and porn violates that important mind space on sex. Winning the battle begins with an understanding that we do not belong to ourselves. Cultivate Jesus centred thoughts because you are not your own.

1 Cor 6:19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?

  • Masturbation and sex cheapens the high sacrificial price paid up for you. You don’t belong to you.
    • ◦ God has provided a second chance for you – it was bought at a price
    • ◦ God has made promises for you life – they were paid paid for at a price
    • ◦ God wants to heal you – there was a price
    • ◦ God wants to provide for you – there was a price
    • ◦ God wants you to live eternally with him- there was a price
  • you are alive because Jesus paid the ultimate price
  • v.19 You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price.


Jesus Centred Love: 100%Grace 100% Truth

The battle for our world will be won by a Christ centred love. The world is not neutral. There are many ideas and activities about sex and sexuality that compete for our attention. In order to redeem our sexuality we need to have a Christ centred love. This is a love that understands the value of grace, and also appreciates the value of truth. We saw that we must maintain the balance that Jesus maintained whenever we are engaging with conversations about sex, sexuality, sexual preferences and all the controversies around that. A Jesus centred love for people embraces 100% truth and 100% grace.

100% Grace through forgiveness: I do not condemn you – Jesus offered the forgiveness that only God can give. This is the same forgiveness that is offered for anyone, gay or straight who realizes that they have not lived up to God’s high standard.

100% Truth which is about Transformation: Jesus told the woman caught in adultery to “Go and sin no more.” He acknowledged that there was sin in the woman’s life that she must start to deal with. This is the instruction that God gives everyone, gay or straight whose lifestyle is not in line with God’s intention. Homosexuality is inconsistent with God’s intention for sex. 100% truth means that this, like other sins needs to be dealt with through a commitment to living by God’s Word.

We are all broken. So broken that we can’t exclusively do what feels right, or even what seems natural to us. It seems natural to gossip. It seems natural to have sex with a woman that’s not my wife. It seems natural to drink and get drunk or to look at porn. It seems natural to be condescending to others. It seems natural to be attracted to people of the same sex. All of these are choices that are available to us, but that are not God’s way for us.

We should not judge others as worse than us. (Even if that judging is natural to us.) Jesus said it “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.” But we should also be committed to God’s truth about our lives and the lives of others.

Jesus Centred Sexuality: Escape bad sex; embrace good sex

Even our personal sexuality is not a neutral space. There are competing interests. The world says it wants to give us pleasure and Jesus says he wants to give us abundant life. There is abundant life even in the area of sex. We talked about good sex and bad sex.

God wants us to bring sex and our sexuality before Him. That is the only place where we will find the strength to do what these words are asking us.

We must continuously make the decisions to avoid the consequences of bad sex. The ideas for bad sex are found in fenceless relationships, valueless conversations and mindless entertainment. These are the things we are to consciously make a decision to stay away from.

The opposite is true. In order to reap the benefits of good sex we need to decide to get committed, be transparent, get alone time with our spouses, get help, get spiritual through prayer, transformational experiences like Mizizi(discipleship experience) and Ndoa(premarital counseling classes) where we hear God’s word for us.

The only way we can navigate sexuality successfully is to submit it to the Lordship of Jesus. This means praying about it, and evaluating our decisions based on what Jesus has said about it.

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2 Responses to “Different Strokes – Chef’s Choice”

  1. Great WORD Pst. Kyama I have followed the series and am blessed.


  2. […] Source: Different Strokes – Chef’s Choice […]


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