Survivor: The Love Edition – Taking Charge

Where do people meet?

Survivor_Love_Edition_400

All over the animal kingdom there are very specific ways in which the female species can show and know that the males are interested in them. But in the human world things are not quite so simple. Where do people meet? if you are not at the bar or at church? It seems that beyond college, where there are natural spaces to meet with people of the opposite sex; once people get into working world and life especially among Christians, there is some sheepishness about going to a place where you get to meet other singles. We feel a little bit embarrassed about around wanting to be in a space where you can meet someone to partner up with.

Add to that the fact that many women have a lot ofreservations when it comes to expressing our interest in meeting men. Most women are socialized to think that the man should do the legwork. Other people also contribute by putting a lot of pressure on women. You are likely to be asked why you are approaching men should you ask someone out. For men it is the fear of rejection. If you express interest in a woman and she does not feel the same way, she looks you from head to toe, and turns on her heel. Then you gather what is left of yourself and crawl away to lick your wounds in piece. Meanwhile both men and women have a challenge with being introduced to someone. Both men and women feel that being introduced to someone feels too technical and devoid of romance. So where does that leave us?

Now, if you are single, whether you are searching or satisfied this message is for you. It will show you godly precedents of how to manage yourself as a single person. If you are in either a marriage or dating relationship it is very important that you sit up and take notice, because I suspect there are numerous single people around you, and not only will you get a glimpse into their world, you may also learn how to relate better with them.

Ruth 3:1-13

As Christians, there is a lot of confusion about how to actually communicate that we are available . Our default behavior is to pray about it. Presumably it is because both men and women want to go about relating in a Christian way but we go about this business in ways that also add to the confusion. We want to know straight up: Is this what God REALLY wants? And we have our own expectations about how things should unfold if God wants things to happen. Or we feel paralyzed because we cannot hear God. The danger is that you can over spiritualize things. We want God to be a part of our conversations but what we need is balance. God has a part to play but you also have your part to play.

Nowhere in this passage do we see Boaz and Ruth being paralyzed about whether God wants this to happen or not. In fact they go about things in an extremely practical way. They are both looking for someone and they both take certain actions. GOD CANNOT EAT THE POPCORN FOR YOU. YOU MUST EAT YOUR OWN POPCORN.

Ruth tells Boaz she is available. She carefully followed the instructions of her mother in law, in terms of positioning herself by going to the place where she can meet Boaz.

She asks Boaz to spread the corner of his garment over her, which means essentially to marry her. Boaz behaves in an honorable way, in other words he behaves in a decisive and honest way.

In soccer, unless someone shows a willingness to receive the ball and move forward, no one will pass the ball to them. They need to be in a stance that communicates that they are about to make a run. My one point in this message is MAKE A RUN. In other words, accept that you are looking and go out there and put things into action.

That action could be to tell someone in your sphere that you are looking. Are people in your sphere aware that you are looking for someone? Half the time we pretend so much that we don’t even ask God, let alone telling other people that we available for a relationship. Prov. 18: 24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly [KJV]

Naomi plays an integral role in this story by guiding Ruth on what she should do. You have probably heard of the theory of six degrees of separation, which is that everyone is six or fewer steps away by way of introduction from any person in the world. So that a chain of a friend of a friend you can connect any two people in a minimum of six steps. Naomi introduces Ruth to Boaz. Maybe they would have made the connection themselves given time, but from what I see here, the business of relationships is an extremely practical affair.

Many of us who have the opportunity to connect a good guy and a good woman are too busy to do anything about it. If they get along well and good and if not then that is fine too… For those in dating and married relationships, there is a great need for sensitivity towards singles around you. Naomi doesn’t shove this down their throats. Don’t create a crisis for them, do it in a way that dignifies the lives of those around you.

Ladies let me say this…There are many good men here who when their wives met them they had nothing much. In fact they had nothing. There could be a brother who you are writing off because he does not look the way that you want. Many men feel passed over by women at the season in their lives when they have nothing.Guys, many men will write off a lady because of looks. We are using the wrong. WE look at the lady and we think that she is too plump or the wrong tribe.

There are some women who are excellent in character and great wife material yet men talk badly about them because we are looking for the figure of Beyonce, the voice of whitney and the legs of…. The child who didn’t see his mother as a bride thinks his father wasted his cows. [Maragoli Proverb]

On this end of marriage I have discovered that those qualities are not what is needed to make a marriage. The older you get, the shorter the list. The long and short of it is that there was an action that Ruth took . In whatever the situation there is an action that needs to be taken. There is the action of Boaz in this story. MAKE A RUN

Finally a big barrier to being available is past experiences: Perhaps you have tried before and it didn’t work out or you have a string of broken relationships. And you don’t want your heart broken again. Ruth had lost her husband and by the time she comes to this place in the story, she was ready to meet someone else. Some are single but stuck in previous experiences. Are you really available? Each one of us needs to break up with your past so that we can position ourselves for the future. This passage does tell us that Boaz was also older. Maybe life had happened. The key point however is availability. Are you available? Ruth was available. Boaz was also available. She showed up and then Boaz decided what he was going to do next.

TAKE OUTS:

ACT, DO SOMETHING BE open to receive godly counsel. What an old man sees sitting down, as a young person even if you climbed a tree you would not see it. This is what Naomi was able to do for Ruth. Many people do not submit themselves to godly counsel.

BE AVAILABLE. In other words let go of the past and the baggage of past mistakes and failures. I heard an illustration from a conference I attended recently and I would like to share it hear. The African Impala has the ability to jump about 10 feet vertically and it can jump distances upwards of 30 fee. You would think that you would have a really hard time keeping this animal in a cage right? In reality however it si very easy. It takes a three foot wall to keep the animal in place. The African Impala will not jump if it cannot see where its feet are going to land. To the impala it is not about the height of the jump but whether it can see where its feet are going to land. Fear holds many people back. In 2015 it could keep us from what God wants for us.

DON’T BE DISCOURAGED: I need to speak to all the Cinderellas who have been in the single space for a long time and seem to have done all the right things. God is faithful. Stay the course. Keep your eyes open but more importantly keep your hear open. You could be looking for what you already have. Who are the men and the women around you? “Give love a chance”

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One Response to “Survivor: The Love Edition – Taking Charge”

  1. I am 35 and single mum of a gal.Was disappointed by a man,but I am willing to meet a good man who share the same interests as me

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