League of ExtraOrdinary Gentlemen – CityDads

What does it mean for a man to play the role of a dad?

LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN FACEBOOK FLIER

A man is a warrior who fights to defend that which is precious to him-his family, marriage and name. He is an elder carrying the responsibility of guiding those around him, through the everyday challenges and bringing his wisdom to bear upon issues that arise. He is a friend, a brother who provides comfort and love to those around him and his family. A man is also called upon to play the role of a mentor, imparting wisdom to the coming generation of young men and providing them with insight as they grow into maturity. But the role that will definitely be felt long after he is gone, is his role as a dad in his childs life.

This is the most challenging role for a man and that which will often define him, it  is his role as a father. Dad is destiny and his ability to play this role well has an influence over the life of his children and his grandchildren. But how are we as men to play this role, when most often nobody played this role for us?

A fathers Influence

It gets even more challenging, for men caught up in the busyness of everyday demands of life, who have to compete with the other influences over their children lives. As men we have the responsibility to be the most influential voices in our childrens lives. Which means as a dad, I have to constantly be aware of the voices around me. The questions I always have to ask is. Who is speaking into my childrens lives? Who are they listening to? Who am I competing with for their attention? Whose voice do I need to cut out of their lives? As dads we have to create a sense of safety, that my children can feel confident enough to share with me the challenges they face.

This gets even more difficult since as man I have to juggle the priorities between being there for my family and sharing moments together with them, while also providing for their daily needs. Men, listen to me, we have no excuse of choosing one of these roles over the other. Both are equally important for the well-being of our children, because these roles will definitely be felt long after we are gone, our role as a dad in our childs life.

God as a father

Most often our view of fatherhood is messed up by the failings of our earthly fathers. The term ‘father’ is really a loaded term. But whether you have had a good earthly father or your dad failed to play that role or he wasn’t there for you, or maybe he was abusive or absent, we can all look to the father in heaven. God who is far above even the best of earthly dads, and he is always there for us. We can all look to him to provide for us a clearer understanding of who a father ought to be.

He nurtures us in His love, and fights for us, he provides for our needs and when we call to him he hears us. He loved us so much that He sent his only begotten son Jesus Christ to die for us on the cross, to give us an opportunity to reconcile with him. The Lord ’s Prayer starts with that recognition…Our Father, who art in heaven. It is our recognition that when we come to God we are first and foremost his children approaching their father. God has many titles yet isn’t it most telling that of all his titles Jesus chose father as a reference to God?

Roles of a father

Father is a term that represents provider, who ensures that his family is not lacking in anyway, 1Ti 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. It is our responsibilities as father to meet the needs of the family and to ensure they are well catered for to the best of our ability.

What about a father as a prophet? As fathers we have a huge influence over our children, they listen to us, they crave to hear from us, that affirmation. We owe it to all our children to paint for them a picture of the future. We ought to remind them of who they are, how precious they are and to challenge them to be the best they can ever be. An affirmed child, particularly children who are continually affirmed by their fathers are not easily swayed. They are secure in their identity, they know daddy said I’m great, I don’t care what the other negative voices around me say.

How about daddy as a priest? Fathers have a lot of influence over how their children relate to God. A study was conducted about fathers influence on their child’s church attendance and view of God and the results were quite surprising. If both father and mother attend church regularly, 33 percent of their children will end up as regular churchgoers, and 41 percent will end up attending irregularly.  Only a quarter of their children will end up not practicing at all. If the father is irregular and mother regular, only 3 percent of the children will subsequently become regulars themselves, while a further 59 percent will become irregulars.

Thirty-eight percent will be lost. If the father is non-practicing and mother regular, only 2 percent of children will become regular worshipers, and 37 percent will attend irregularly.  Over 60 percent of their children will be lost completely to the church. Let us look at the figures the other way round. What happens if the father is regular but the mother irregular or non-practicing? Extraordinarily, the percentage of children becoming regular goes up from 33 percent to 38 percent with the irregular mother and to 44 percent with the non-practicing, as if loyalty to father’s commitment grows in proportion to mother’s laxity, indifference, or hostility. Because for a man the role that will definitely be felt long after he is gone, is his role as a dad in his childs life.

Does this mean that a mother has no influence over the childs faith? By all means no, but it does affirm that a fathers spiritual choices and the decision of whether to model his faith for his children has a major influence in the childs faith decision. Fathers in the house, you cannot afford to delegate your responsibility, of teaching the children about God to the Sunday school. The church is there to help facilitate your childs relationship with God but the primary responsibility rests with you!

And finally dads as protectors. As young children we always bragged about how our dad will beat your dad. To our young minds and to most children dad is the symbol of everything that represents protection and safety. So it often cuts to the core of the culture and family when you hear of abuses by father upon their children. Proverbs chapter 17:6 Pr 17:6 Children’s children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father. God calls us as men to play the role of a father. Of all our responsibilities in life our role as a father is the only one whose impact will definitely live long after we are gone.

A fathers resolve

This sermon today for men is not to beat you up and show everything wrong you are doing. Or everything you are not doing that you are supposed to be doing. I understand the fact that many of us didn’t grow up with fathers who modeled for us what it means to be a father. Probably he was never there, or he was abusive, maybe he was present but never said a word and your image of fatherhood is mixed up, and confused because no one ever played the role of a father in your life. We pray for you.

You actually have a responsibility to clean up the slate and start anew. You can make a vow this day that the generations of weak and absentee fatherhood ends with me. I will set a new example in this family, in this community and in this country. I will be a Shujaa dad. I’m going to create as many wonderful memories with my children as possible. I will read every book, attend every class, and approach every older gentleman, friend, mentor or elder to hear from them what it means to be a real father.Because for every man the role that will definitely be felt long after he is gone, is his role as a dad in his childs life.

If you have been a victim of hurt when it comes to fatherhood, you have father wounds and your idea of fatherhood and masculinity is distorted by your experience growing up. As a dad I want to take this moment to say, you can choose to forgive. You can lean on our father in heaven and let him be a source of love, and care and encouragement. Even the best effort of earthly fathers always sometimes gets tainted by our falleness. He may have said somethings that he shouldn’t have or failed to speak up when he should have.

You can choose today to forgive and start a journey of restoration and healing. This is not just a challenge to men. Every woman with a son, brother, nephew or cousin which is just about all of you, that man you are raising is a potential father in the future. So you have a responsibility to ensure that he grows up to be a man, who has come under the influence and modelling of great fathers in the church and the community. Because for every man the role that will definitely be felt long after he is gone, is his role as a dad in his childs life.

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One Response to “League of ExtraOrdinary Gentlemen – CityDads”

  1. King Muindi Says:

    Long live Shujaa Dad’s

    Like

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