Be The One

Is there a better way to find Mr/Ms Right? Today we’re starting off a new series called ‘Finders Keepers: how to find and keep the One’. We want to learn some foundational principles from scripture about how to enter and conduct healthy romantic relationships. Some of us are hoping to enter such relationships and I pray this month will help you learn how to prepare for one. Some of us are already in a relationship or are married and I pray this month will give you a great opportunity to evaluate your relationship and learn how to grow it. Some of us are not interested in a romantic relationship; we’ve been hurt by one or we’re just not ready. And that’s fine too – I pray you’ll have a chance to learn more about yourself and the type of person God wants you to be.

Read Genesis 29:31-35 [NIV]

The problem with our thinking is that it’s all about what the other person can give to me. It’s externally focused because it’s about waiting for the right person and not about being the right person. But Leah’s story teaches us that if you operate by that external focus, then your only choice once you finally meet the person of your dreams is manipulation. You’re going to have to keep pushing them to get what you want. And it never ends. Many of us are moving into relationships looking for our needs to be satisfied. We have transferred the responsibility for our joy/significance/happiness/self esteem to another person. But this is a burden we should never assign to another human being because they’re bound to disappoint.

Change your focus! It’s only when we turn to God that He helps us to become the person we were meant to be. 

Unhealthy people attract other unhealthy people, with complimentary dysfunctions.  Stop searching for the One, be the One.

We need to shift focus and deal with our issues and not wait for a Mr/Ms Right to make us perfect. If you don’t take time now to deal with issues from your past, they will only reappear in your relationships at compounded level. If you don’t resolve that issue with your mom, deal with that distance & lack of friendship between your siblings, get healed of that bitterness against your parents… it will only reappear ten times bigger and devour you in your marriage. It doesn’t matter what you put on your list; you will only attract people like you. Only a whole person will attract another whole person. Mr/Mrs Right will not fix you. Relationships are for grownups. Stop searching for the One, be the One.

Next week ‘The Dating Formula’ ~ something you can apply to both dating relationships or to marriage. Please come and bring a friend… But I want to conclude in prayer…

PRAYER

  1. I’m in a difficult space (almost giving up) and need God in my marriage
  2. I have a broken heart from a relationship (married or single) ~ bring my broken heart to the One who can fix it
  3. Single and need to take a break from relationships for this year and allow God to heal me first

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172 Responses to “Be The One”

  1. FindingToKeep Says:

    Aaaahhh you have no idea how this sermon has hit home!!!Its like what were we- I thinking before this..Im now more confident of the declaration I made in faith 2012 “I get married!!!”

    Like

  2. Pastor M, the sermon touched me wish we had this one 8 years ago i would have avoided my mama boy huby though he is generally a good husband and father. When the mum and his people check in all hell brakes loose, he would call the househelp to inform her what to cook and at times even the ingredients to use! Before they land tension is usually high and we end up not talking. The last time she was here it was worse my huby called my dad(his father inlaw) and told him even if her mum has issues he cant replace her but he can replace a wife…… Something in me just died. Looking forward to what the series brings forth. God bless you Pastor M.

    Like

    • Hi just to suggest a book called I married you for your situation..it should be of great help in your situation with in laws!!Ofcourse this series is also TOTALLY AMAZING but just to add to that
      Be blessed

      Like

  3. steven kobuthi "kobz" Says:

    hi wasup,kobz hapa…i must say hizi ma sermon za mavuno zina touch ka aids…yaani zinani bamba mbaya.firstly i love the fact that u want us to study the word with an imaginative mind coz the bible is full of drama…speaking of being imaginative, i want to get radically imaginative and crazy…and since we are in the month of being the one and not searching for the one, i’d like to ask a question…lately I’ve been having this desire to get a very hot chic…but heres the twist,the kind of chic am thinking rather desiring, is a Muslim BUT a convert ofcourse. Why u ask? Honestly..2 reasons..first i find them very beautiful yaani hao madame wameiva mpaka wanaenda kuoza as in i bet when God was creating them hakuenda lunch break.(lol)the second reason, from my observation and the few i have interacted with, i find them very graceful and somewhat submissive. Enyewe roho safi without hiding and being unashamed i really desire a muslim convert mama. Besides impossible is nothing with God and if u “imagine” with me Mary the mother of Jesus was a VIRGIN conceived of the Holy Spirit,her cousin Liz…ooops Elizabeth was 6 months pregnant at the time and YET was barren prior to her getting paged…as if thats not enough, one of David’s mighty men killed 300 men solo…yaani one dude kills 300 jamaas solo. As in IMAGINE that…and to top it all up…Jesus came,did his thing for 3years and get this he died and….ROSE from the dead..now if thats not crazy though i acknowledge it as true tell me what is..Am i crazy to desire a muslim beautiful chic whose a convert??? but all in all, great sermon, great delivery coz ultimately in a nutshell you attract what u r…One!!!

    Like

  4. Todays sermon felt like Pastor M was reading from my book of life. I’ve been coming to Mavuno ever since January 2010 but i kind of dropped out last yr after moving from a near by premisses and ever since life seemed to take a nose dive. am so far off I didn’t think even the almighty God can pull me back but today was different..I’ve been a black sheep in my family for the longest time ever almost gave up on life most of last yr coz more at times i try proving to people that am not what they think but that can really be tiresome..Pastor M something tells me that you can help coz a really need alot of guidance. pliz add me to your list of prayer items..be blessed

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  5. i like this..please send me via email any more related materials

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  6. This is the REAL MESSAGE FOR 2012.! AMEN.!!

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  7. This has got to be the quietest service I have been to(u could have heard a pin drop save for the nervous laughter) and with very very good reason…it was so REAL! I had to deal with my ‘ma-issues’ and at every turn I saw how I had walked the path of self-destruct never realising how unhealthy I have become even at 40 years of age…the joy is that I took the first step today…after going around the mountain for 40 years..insanity – doing same thing expecting different results! ….I can now step into the promised land….thanks Pastor for allowing God to speak through you in such a powerful and personal way…I bless God!

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  8. Anita Jay Says:

    Amazing! Hapo sawa!

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  9. amazing! just what I needed today, I thank God for you:-D

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  10. Pastor M, my year started well and I was in church during the THRIVE session and I know for sure it’s going to be a good year.

    And now you unleash a better one today “finder’s keepers”. It was torching in the sense that I am going through a phase with my girlfriend and I will be officially engaging her next month. Your word gave me hope, in that what we are going through are just speed bumps and it’s our Faith and willingness and strength that will see us through this rough waters.

    I would like to ask for some time with you so that I can come with my better half and you can share with us a word or two. This will really go a long way

    Please find my contacts.

    Regards
    Oliver

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  11. Great stuff! This is too right! Be the one and not expect your spouse to come with a magic wand and wave all your problems away.. And so much for opposites attract. What is your take on that? I like this. It totally makes sense.

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  12. it was like hitting a raw nerve….and it vibrated all through my body……ouch!!!…..i thought for so many years that it was about the other person and not about me…well shock on me ……it was revealed to me yesterday….i have been doing it all wrong!!!!!Here i am 14 years after my separation and divorce and still wondering why no one wants to find me and keep me?MY OH MY…..I have been doing it all wrong…..and the attempts to get my groove back have been there but i just haven’t been doing it right…..have i?I have almost perfected the art of the blame game…..you know how it goes….its because i married young…we are not of the same social standing….our education and orientation are different…well that is all $%^&&*(&!!!! here i am trying to heal myself when all i had to do was to take it to the One who can fix it…..well no wonder the prospective significant others are not looking in my direction….I am not going to search for the one….I AM GOING TO BE THE ONE……..THE BEST THAT I CAN BE ….BECAUSE THAT’S HOW GOD INTENDED IT TO BE…….I am charged now with new purpose and looking forward to a really great journey…….

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  13. Marguerite Says:

    Blessed be the name of the Lord. I really love the word. Could you please be emailing me this sermons.
    May God bless you so much

    Marguerite

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  14. Refreshing.Just what I needed to hear.

    Like

  15. Chris Nyakora Says:

    Very informative…really explains a lot in our lives at the moment.

    Kindly inform me when the next Mizizi session is to start. God Bless

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  16. Hey Pastor M. May God bless you for being such an inspiration to me and i also want to thank you for agreeing to be used by God. We always have a ‘no’ option but you did not take it.
    The sermon was a great one. It made me smile. Last year, towards the end, on 12th November, i wrote down a list of the man i wanted. Being a lady, the list is long. It includes eye color and the degree of the softness of the hands. Lol! Before writing it, i prayed for guidance from God. After a long while, my list was done. A few days later, i went back to that list and at the bottom, i wrote a small prayer. ‘God help me to be all the above qualities and more.’ since then i have been living those qualities. I dont know what made me write down that prayer but i felt that if i want someone with all this things, i must be all that. Thank you for confirming to me that i must be the one to find the one. Btw Pastor M, should ladies chase after men? Is it godly? I love you Pastor M. 🙂

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  17. I could not agree more satisfaction can only come from God. Human beings are wired to dissapoint… thats their nature but our God is good and thats His nature!

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  18. Pastor,you are totally right and i love your preaching.it has taught me that i should start being the one.Thanks alot n may God bless you and increase you all the days of ur life.truly a blessing

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  19. Big lesson Like Attracts Like: If you think a good man is hard to find or that all the good ones are taken, you are going to manifest what you think about. People who fear living alone, most often end up alone. If you are jealous and fearful, you will attract situations to be jealous and fearful about. If you believe that women are only after your money, they will be.

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  20. Hi Pst M,the series has started on a super note.
    Am Wanjiku Gitonga,am in a relationship.
    What struck me the most is that most of the time we are looking for the right person who meets a particular criteria.Clearly we forget that the most important person to work on the most is ME.
    This was such an eye opener in so many ways,as we continue,i intend to work on me to be the ONE……

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  21. Judy Kananu Says:

    My life has truly changed coz of the sermon series’ @ mavuno…God Bless u Pastor M.

    Am looking forward to the coming Feb series…

    Like

  22. wanguisummedup Says:

    Reblogged this on A thoroughbred living like a donkey and commented:
    Finders Keeps

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  23. wanguisummedup Says:

    Speaking to me!!!!

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  24. Nice

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  25. Reblogged this on Kuhusu Maisha (About Life).

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  26. I had my heart broken last year and I have been struggling since to trust and love. But I have realized the problem is with me, I need to work on me. I vow to be brilliant and take every problem as an opportunity in disguise!

    Like

  27. You hit the msumari on the head…..

    Like

  28. steven kobuthi "kobz" Says:

    Hi Pastor M, Kobz hapa.A friend once asked me why do we lack the desires of our hearts.Is it A.lack of faith or B.faith and no works.i believe the answer is not so much that we lack faith but we have faith but dont act on it. In regards to finding the one i now realize that to find the one i ought to be the one.meaning i need not only believe but also make sure i work on myself first and deal with any unresloved issues that has held me back and thus being the cause of bad relationships in my life. i now realize that others are not the problem but i am. With God’s help i will purpose to be a better person thanks to your sermon as it has ministered to me in very many aspects of my life. In a nutshell life gives us what we ask from it and in relation to finding a mate we attract what we are.Great message. Keep em coming.One

    Like

  29. Am still in shock about the things I’ve done thinking that its the other person who is not being right, shame on me, kumbe its me who is wrong!! God please help me to stay pure this year as you heal me. From a one year separation, I’ve hopped from one man to the other. I always find imperfections in each one of them and am thinking, its the time i needed that rest, til God brings forth the right person for me or rather he could as well restore the marriage. I don’t know what His plans are for sure. God please fix my heart. Help me to change my focus. I so nid you!!!

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  30. Mary kinuthia Says:

    Hey?I would like 2 hav more of this.Pliz send me in my e-mail

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  31. wow really impressed. keep it up and God bless you.

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  32. Pastor M that sermon was amazing you were real with us and as you had said in Jan its good to be real in order to help someone i was blessed and am inviting more people to listen to the same wonderful sermon, you are blessed! we need to change this society we are living in so that we may live a Godly generation I am a fearless influencer and i have to influence others whether by actions or by talk i am in the kingdom of God and am not afraid of anything because He is for me God bless you

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  33. Guy enters church with relationship issues from jana. worship was uplifting and some cares faded kidogo, then the pastor kicks in the door(military style) and says, (albeit in another style) ‘look carefully at yourself in the mirror what do you see. Enyewe the sermon was life changing. the spiritual and intellectual engagement I had was fascinating and on top of that this can be applied to all sort of friendships. Thank you saannaaaaa

    Like

  34. Kerry wasai Says:

    Wow! thanx so much i have learned alot.i will b the one from now on.GOD BLESS U!

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  35. Still cant handle the truth! Says:

    Thanks for this past sermon Pastor M. sometimes God upsets me with giving me the truth. And in committing to trust him I realize how much of a control freak I am. I recently found ‘the one’ ( he found me actually ) and I have been thanking God for finally answering my prayer. Now “the one” tells me he is not ready to commit as he is still healing from a past relationship. While I appreciate his honesty, I’m now looking at God and asking, SERIOUSLY? whats this all about now??” I’m confused, hurt and livid.. at both “the one” and God. But after the sermon I have a yucky feeling that God wants me to look at me first..something tells me God will be speak clearly to me by the end of this series.

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  36. I was not in church yesterday but after reading the sermon on the blog all I can say is Pastor M you are truly God sent!! Talk about hitting the nail on the head!!

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  37. Words of wisdom right there Pst M

    Thank you for taking the time to synthesize your experiences and knowledge into words that are pointing us to the truth. Your sermon confirmed a resolve a made three years ago to following a script that resulted in cycle of fruitless relationships… I am a living thrivetestimony.

    Like

  38. passionita Says:

    Reblogged this on Passiona Njeri.

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  39. just a girl in love with Jesus Says:

    Dear Pastor M
    Since 2007, i have been in 3 different relationships. The first guy not only took my virginity but also cheated on me enough times and got me pregnant twice. I had two abortions. i knew i had to leave when he started being violent en threatened to kill himself if i left him. In 2009, i met this guy, he was prince charming en had zero drama. after a while he went quiet en just when i decided to get over him i discovered i was pregnant. I contacted him en he dint deny it, he took me to get an abortion. What hurt me the most pastor is he stayed with me that day, the next day he left en he has never called nor sent a text to just know how am doing or at least if i recovered from the surgery. This is when i hit rock bottom en started to put my life back together. in November 2009, i met this guy, you must think am a mad person now… When we got serious, i shared with him my past en he accepted me just as i was. in 2010 i started craving for Jesus en i shared this with Him as he aint born again. On 10th March 2010 at around 11pm, i gave my life to Christ. Things in our relationship had to change but he never left.As the year stared, i sterted having a strong conviction that God dint want me to be in a relationship and 2012 is my year of healing from all the anger, bitterness, unforgiveness and guilt. I felt that God wants this year to be all about Him and me. In church when you spoke and said that God is speaking to people that they shouldnt be in relationships i was in shock as you just reconfirmed that word. My pastor, please pray for me as i end it with this guy who has bn nothing but kind to me. its hard but i know this is God speaking. at times i hear voices teln me that i may never get such a nice guy but i choose to step out in faith en i know my ever faithful God will catch me. Pastor i know this series is the start of my healing. Thank you for letn God use you en i thank God soooooo very much that you are my pastor. I need guidance en prayer in this journey to healing en being the best me. God bless you my pastor.

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    • linda wairimu Says:

      Wow..just a girl in love with jesus, this really is such a powerful testimony…you might not understand why but i feel like God purposed it that I should read this today.

      May God give you pause and wisdom as you take on 2012 and make it about Him. I trully do believe that our God is not a God of failure and as such He cant give you a challenge that he knows you cant handle. May He give you strength to keep going in your new found strength.

      Consider joining MIZIZI, I have a feeling its exactly what you need just as i did.

      Like

    • @jus a girl in love with Jesus

      Your story is really touching and shockingly so much like mine, i got saved on 3rd Feb 2010 and had to end my 8yr rshp….

      Id love to share my whole story with you if you dont mind, maybe it will be of help.

      You can contact me via email, i.e. oliviet26@yahoo.com

      Be blessed!!

      Like

  40. Judy Kananu Says:

    pastor M,

    forgot to point out how you ended the sermon in style…

    I drove off the guy I loved so much because of nagging…the part were you pointed out to the ladies how attractive they seem when they don’t act needy explains why he comes back after i give him a period of silence and space…

    my concience has every positivity to the revival of lost love this year… am different and courageous enough to build myself in the Lord and be the Mrs RIGHT…

    THANKYOU!

    Like

  41. Like 🙂 and am learning

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  42. Great….!This has really empowered me.Looking forward to others God bless you!!

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  43. THIS IS AMAZING!!

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  44. Quite Inspiring as a take it home for reference ‘to be The One’. I was not there for the sermon but some one special shared with me the sermon and I have also read more from this blog. I am really inspired.
    Thanks Pastor M.

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  45. Anonymous Says:

    Thank you. I really needed to read this.

    Like

  46. Pastor M , I was in awe of your service , but more in awe of God’s Grace on my Life, he never gave me the wife I deserved, for surely she would have been a trifling ,, golddigging… for a lack of a better word …garden utensil, instead he gave me a kind , intelligent, warm, loving generous partner who has my back no matter the weather!

    I fell on my knees when i got home to give thanks to God for such a wonderful woman that I know I don’t deserve, now I need to sep up to her level cos game recognises game!

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  47. What if you have been waiting for healing and it has not happened? Does it mean marriage is for perfect people? I keep wondering what a whole person looks like so that i can tell how i should look like to be accepted by a man. I thought we are all in a journey….and if along the way someone comes and they accompany you and you them on that journey then great. Do we have to be ‘whole’ for us to get married or marry? Is this healing an event? How do you know you are healed so that you can be the one? All very confusing!

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  48. Reality check!!! i got into a come we stay marriage with lots of issues! Got pregrant out of wedlock then forced myself into his life with hopes of being happy but as King Solomon puts it ” its like chasing the wind”. Yesterday’s sermon was a reality check for me coz have been hoping that my husband would complete me…make me happy, affirm me and maybe find my identity in him but God has taught me that it all starts with me….that for me to find the one i need to have found myself!! I have found the solution to my life’s problems…….stop searching for the one be the one!!! with God’s help my hubby is in for a surprise!!!! I have changed my focus no more petty fighting, complaining and some time nagging as Leah said it ” this time, I will praise the Lord……. Thank you Lord.

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  49. WHAAAAAT! 1 year!!! Will i hack it? By the way, get this straight, I din’t chose to wake up, something lifted me up my seat. I came to church with a girl that i really like now this???? Whaaaaat. God is on my case this year and I just don’t know how its gonna be. Either way, i chose to obey, This is the full DETOX – Mavuno = truth being taught in love n’ sincerity. “THIS TIME I’MMA DO IT DIFFERENTLY”

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  50. mmmhhhh I call this Loud Truth…..I want to be the one…

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  51. On point! May we sort out issues and embrace 2012 as the year to get right in our romantic relationships!

    Great stuff! Relevant to our day-to-day lives.

    Thanks Mavuno!

    Like

  52. Christian Says:

    Dear Pst M! It was a beautiful sermon, I like the “animated” way you bring out the scripture it makes me wish I lived in those medieval days. Any way back to your sermon, THANK YOU for speaking what has been unspoken by our spiritual fathers. It is about time our way of relating is mended. Now my story, I’ve gotten to the age where pressure seems to emanate from everyone be it me moms, aunt, bros…the list goes on. They want to see a ring and or this man. I’ve also become that one person in my clique of friends who’s always the “third person” …. SIGH~~

    All this has turned me into the “apparent finder”..always searching for the one… I seem to be constantly on the lookout for a potential other. As you spoke about you attract what you are I felt so SAD… cause it hit me I might as well have turned into this lonely, desperate person. When did the tables turn because I know that is not the sort of person I am … modesty taken into consideration… I don’t even look it : ) ).. GOODNESS frustration to “deliver” has gotten to me.

    But, Ps M I wonder, can you be more practical than asking to do the church marathons so that you may be the one! I know there isn’t a formula but SERIOUSLY…you’ve been there, and there were no marathons. Anyway I’ve done them, name it, Mizizi, Ombi… etc my prayers still seem to be hitting some rock place yet compromise and temptation are looming…

    YES! I desire to have my man, family and home but I need your prayers. I WANT to and NEED to walk the right path that’s why I feel or wish that the Spiritual Sermon needs some Practical Counsel …

    Blessings

    Christian

    Like

  53. Thanks to God, it is so profound. He alone planned it in such a time as this..and there goes a testimony in millions from this wisdom.
    My prayer is that all of us (His own) shall trully be broken to surrender to God and allow Him to transform us in His will of being the One. God bless Pastor M, God bles His church.

    Like

  54. Very good…

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  55. […] his boss says 'yes' and even agrees to pay for the wedding fiesta See the original post: Be The One « Blog.Mavuno Are Hippie Bridal Gowns Different From Bohemian Wedding …The newspaper wedding announcements 16 | […]

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  56. The one!! Says:

    This sermon was one of my best sermons i have had to sit through. I have been for the longest time trying to post on Facebook how we should try to have the same or better characters than the characters on our checklists… But enyewe it has not been easy, I have faced rejection from men who i thought fitted my checklist, But i think the one thing that encouraged me, is that like attracts like, so i have to do is be like the man i want to attract.. Yipee.. am happy to be part of Mavuno church.

    Like

  57. Wow! what a sermon that was! I left church affirmed as a mature girl. Especially when you told men, ‘the best gal is the one who doesnt need you.’

    For the last year, I have hanged out with a Christian man who has been torn between me and another girl he has history with. Several times I asked him to let our friendship go but we both found it difficult to walk away. In the end, I had to be greater person and walk away though it hurt deeply. The deal breaker was that he said the other gal was desparately in love with him and he thought I didn’t need him enough.

    Though we are not together, I left church praying the sermon resonated with him in the same way it did with him. I love this man am hoping we can re-kindle what we had. Regardless, I am glad to know that I am not a Leah!

    Like

  58. hey, just read the sermon, guess its what i needed to here, im 25, and ive been in enough relationships and Im done searching, right now im not in a relationship, i call it detox time coz I figured i needed to slow down abit and ask myself a few questions including what I want in a man, and what I do need in a man,theres a clear distinction..but even the bible says that if we seek first the kingdom of God then all these things..including a good husband in my case, will be added to you…so I greatly appreciate what you are doing to help young people like me put their priorities right and desire to be ‘the one’..my friend told me ..be what you expect the other person to be…and I think if I want him to be the right one for me,then i need to be the right one for him…thanks pastor..barakas

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  59. […] Reblogged from Blog.Mavuno: […]

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  60. Reblogged this on shiquences.

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  61. SavedbyGrace Says:

    Heh!what can I say?God bless u Pastor M!!hiyo ilikuwa sermon na nusu!!All i can say is that I have been in enough rships where I just seemed 2 attract men who just used me for sex and just walked away,i was left an empty shell n my heart in a million pieces!Long story short I did mizizi last year,got to know the Lover of my soul,Jesus Christ n got born again:),finally got healed from all the years of rejection and hurt,laid them down at the feet of Christ!and stopped looking 4 a man to make me happy but resolved 2 always put God first!Twas the best decision I ever made and I have never been happier walking this path of salvation.I am definitely well on way 2 becoming ‘the one’ Bottom line-only Christ can truly satisfy!:)He loves you infinitely and we can trust Him to steer our chosen Mr. Right into our paths!!I am the daughter of the King,a princess and a precious jewel in the sight of God n He loves me with an unfathomable love!it doesnt get any better than that!:):):)

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  62. Serial Insanity Says:

    Thanks Pastor M for invading my comfort zone. No apologies required or expected though.

    Early in January my lifegroup challenged me to stay off a relationship, even a hint of one, for 6 months.I declined feeling it was too long. Yesterday I made a commitment to stay off relationships until December. Still convinced it’s too long. That time fades against the mess I’ve left in my wake.I’ve sponsored an abortion, reneged on another, two others had miscarriages and in all of them disillusioned women was the result.

    Recently, I went through another breakup.This one, i even heard the specific instruction not to mess with her. She came to Mavuno a couple of times, liked it but ‘us’ messed it. With that, I’m also left filled with regret, vengefulness and guilt.

    Resolutions and new commitments to reforms are quickly forgotten when another one needing rescuing shows up. And it always looks like the one. Yet it ends up in a way that has become predictable to all my close pals and totally blind to me.

    I’m taking on this commitment with the awareness that it’s not going to be easy.

    Like

    • Hi Serial Insanity (what a name!)

      It’s a good thing you are being introspective and honest enough to assess what you have done wrong in the past and how you can correct that in future.

      Being in myriad relationships can give one a false sense of satisfaction that one is sorted, and it makes one not have to be alone enough for one to assess one’s issues without distraction.

      It’s great that you’re taking the challenge from your life group to keep off a relationship for six months; spend that time with the Lover whose caress is more intimate than a woman’s, the Ultimate One who will help you heal from past hurts and make you a better man. I’m sure you’ll find the journey worth it. Don’t give up on your quest; all the best!!

      Like

  63. Thanks for that message.

    You’ve lifted an enormous burden off the shoulders of lotsa bro’s & sistas.

    You see, often times we meet individuals with whom we are attracted to, and just like Jacob, we pursue them with all we have. But ultimately disappointment follows conquest simply because impossible standards have been set.

    Sometimes it feels like to please some ladies, one has to be a small god. You’re judged against an unknown and ever-changing standard, accused of sins we’re yet to imagine and even likened to people you’ve never met.

    I’m sure ladies can confess similar stories of us guys. And like you say, it all boils down to wronfully expecting someone else to magically ‘fix’ you in the name of love.

    I must also say I have found your teachings to be true. The prescence of a woman who is happy and joyous in her own being is so refreshing, whether as a companion or a friend. Likewise, I have found that the more comfortable I am in myself the better I relate to women.

    I look forward to next weeks message.
    Barikiwa.

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  64. WOW!!!!! I have never seen so many comments on the blog……whaaaaaaaaat???? Truly LOVE is the greatest Commandment of all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  65. I DOUBLE LOVED the sermon. At 3pm on Saturday I was too faint to move, having had a case of food gone bad on me. However, I wasn’t going to miss the sermon. Sitting through it, never mind the squirming, was worth it.

    “Stop searching for the one; be the one”… That was one of my take outs. Indeed, this is something that I strive to do, being the one, and I feel I have pretty much got it down to a T. So I’ve wondered, am I not entitled to s.e.a.r.c.h til I drop and get found!? Surely the other side of the equation as I work on being The One has to equal a man (read husband)?!?! No?!

    Well… I’m reminded not to idolize the desire of a man so much so that I forget that God’s love is greater than any that can be offered by a mere mortal and that only He can fill my cup (read life). I am reminded not to place any other before God because if I do, I may very well be as single as the lone cactus in The Kalahari as God seeks to remind me that there is no other above Him, not a man / boyfriend./ husband. Selah…

    Grand lessons: No more idols. Bring your praise on no matter what. Stop competing with or desiring to be like others around you.

    Guess I need to be a LOT MORE comfortable with the single situation and work at the Ultimate Relationship – the one with My Lord..

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  66. I’ve appreciated reading the sermon so much its not anything that I didn’t know… as the saying goes,we never learn anything new we are just made aware of what we already know. I’ve never had a dysfunctional relationship but everyone that’s been with me can attest to having had a dysfunctional relationship. I manipulate and pull and push all to get a reaction of this or that. last year I finally had enough of looking without and decided it was time to look within. for the first time in my life I faced rejection and the pain echoes even now… everywhere I turned to for once I wasn’t that beautiful treasured flower that everyone would kill to have… but a rug to be used and manipulated… my own spoon fed to me by the gurus of the game I’d played for so long. I respect people now and I’m living up to being “the one” its not hard because I now know how it feels to be Leah and I also know how ineffective it is to bow to man to complete me..

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  67. I like what I’m reading from those who heard the message. I thought I was the only one who felt this way. For any one who was there or has access to this message, it was quite clear we need to work on ‘me’ first. I am still digesting the content; it keeps opening up stuff in me that I need to deal with and also to sooth me in areas where, as God is my witness, I know I have done my best and that given the chance, I would probably done it the same. There’s no end to the content that was spoken about because the ‘me’ aspect in today’s life is so much; it’s no wonder that there are so many breakups. I’m sure by the time this series is over, relationships will be healed and restored. I wish there was a way to ‘like’ as in facebook coz there are so many comments that I want to like. Pastor M, may God bless you mightily and triple the anointing so that you, as His vessel of excellence, may continue to pass on to His people just what He is revealing to you. Clearly God is concerned with His people; there’s no way that could have come from man! God bless you and the mavuno family BIG! Incidentally this was my first time this year to go to Church and was my birthday too, but it was worth it in every way. There’s so much to say, but I’ll leave it at that. Still very overwhelmed! See you Sunday!!

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  68. More Joseph, Less Samson Says:

    I started going to church for the first time in 15 years in January. The thrive sermon series really touched me. I have now brought my live in fiance to Mavuno and this sermon series has really touched us. Was in a very bad place with my relationship; been treating her badly but you have been sent by the Holy Spirit to minister to me and men like me.

    Pastor M; God is working through Mavuno to touch so many lives. For the first time in a very long time I feel peace in my life. She and I know we can’t cohabit anymore and we are now seriously going to legitmise our relationship in the eyes of God and Man. we signed up for Ndoa and if its anything like the sermons…it will impact us greatly.

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  69. Hi Pastor M,loving the series. I am new at mavuno,currently doing mizizi. on day one,at the visitors tent,we were given the series on the dark side of greatness.Simply Phenomenal. I knew I was a mel but man I didnt know just how much of how I behaved had to do with it. I am wiser now. And i know with God’s help I will get better.And combining that with finders,keepers,I know with God,s help,am ditching my list and my very unrealistic expectations. Thank you to you and your wife. Baraka.

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  70. Pastor M ooooh my goodness may the almighty God bless you…this is the sermon we should be taking to radio shows in the morning…I wish we had our own ka radio station mavuno 105.1 heehe…cleaning the airwaves wud be exactly what we are doing….I am sure am in church for the whole month of Feb

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  71. KENYAN RACHEAL Says:

    Thanks so much Pastor!!! This was typical me! I have been in realtionships where i struggled sooooo much to impress! I mean i could spend my last shilling on a dude not knowing where i will get the next coin from. I have made calls and sent sms’ in the weirdest of times to try n proove just how much I loved a particular guy. . All this ofcourse weighed down on me emotionally and id do the next obvious thing which is offer myself to proove it further. I mean I have done sooo much to please even my’ galfriends and yet i cant even count once they did anything for me
    In january during the THRIVE sermon, i stood up for prayer when you prayed for pple who felt lonely because it had reached a point id feel alone as I walk yet i have over 400 contacts on my phone.
    On sunday during the alter call, i dint stand for prayer tho i knew that i really needed to take a break in all this IMPRESSING business and get a hold of my life. During prayer I promised myself to ‘delete’ contacts of pple that i follow to impress and just try n live my life… God knew i wouldn’t delete all and had it all sorted out for me. 2 hours after service.. my phone was stolen but somehow i feel it was Gods way of sorting out my issue and just deleting those contacts on my behalf and I am trusting him to lead me through as he sorts out my issues…..
    God bless you pastor and the whole of Mavuno.

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  72. michael muchina Says:

    Mike says :

    Enyewe ! my first comment on the blog, and going by the many comments on the issue we are many, its a eye opener , Barikiwa sana.

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  73. Okueso oluranti adeleke Says:

    This is expository. Lovely insights

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  74. Hey Pasi,
    Thank you so so much for that truth spoken! I would like to ask however if you could also discuss practical issues such as age differences between couples in today’s world. is it ok to date a younger guy or a guy who is significantly older? is there a template of sorts or does it even matter?

    thanks for keeping it real! I hadn’t attended church on over a year and a friend invited me for this sermon series because she knew it would hit home. Thanks Pastor M. God bless!

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  75. Gods work in progress Says:

    Pastor M you are on FIRE!!!! This year!!! first it was thrive then now this month!! eissshh…. mmmmhhhh (read as if you have tasted something nice and sweet) i am still glowing from thrive and i now i will continue to for several years.

    On to the sermon, words cannot begin to describe the excitement and purpose i have found in being a Mavunite a year into it now and am praying it gets better. I got out of a relationship in 2010 and decided to dedicate all the love i was feeling like i need to give to God and 2011 was hard and easy at the same time because i got very lonely it was the first time i was not in a relationship with a man… but God filled that lonely gap so well as i just dedicated myself daily to Him. some days of course i veered off but the juice of it was that i GREW UP. when you talked to the guys who needed to stay away from relationships i was all smiles because i am a living testimony of what God can do if you decide to stay away from those toxic relationships and dedicate all that energy towards serving Him. it actually makes you a better person

    It has been a series of serious pruning and God dealing with my selfishness, anger, bitterness and so much other stuff i am still God’s work in progress but trust me the assurance i have is that if a man comes now am ready to walk with him and with God.

    Everybody who stood up tired of heart break and just needing a break! it works!! it is not easy but God will come in and fill the void so much that you will not need to study/or pray about it ( like what most girls like to do when they don’t want to say no) God will have prepared you like he is doing me….. YOU WILL GROW UP

    God bless you Pastor M as you serve Gods people *btw did you see the way your wife shook her head in agreement when you said you were not a good listener?* hehehehe…

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  76. Great stuff right there.. God bless.

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  77. Lot's wife... Says:

    Touchy topic, too many Leahs out there,the thing that makes people to crazy things, get into depression, settle for less than they deserve, the fear of being alone, the fear of rejection and misinterpretation of Love. If people loved the way its instructed in 1 Cor 13, maybe they would stop looking for the one…and be the one.

    Many of us from reading the blogs, feel that if they had heard this sermon at some particular points in their lives, it would have made a huge difference in who they are and they choices they have made so far.

    We are a hurting generation pastor M. Some of us are paralyzed by our past, by unforgiveness of self and the other party that caused us the hurt. Many of us lived a Leah’s life to impress our partners who have cared less. we have caused ourselves both physical and emotional harm, all that we may be accepted. we set up standards and wish lists that are to be met by our “the one” and we have thought of our ‘the one’ should meet particulars on our checklist so that they can be what we want. not for us, but for the world to see we got it…

    When all fails and our needs are not met, we become Lot’s wife, we look back and we are paralysed by our depressions, our regrets, unforgiveness and we blame ourselves for letting stuff happen and we cannot move forward we are stuck somewhere on the road from Sodom and Gomorah. Unless we can get past these, look up ahead to God and not back where it hurts, we will carry our baggages to the next relationship and the next and it will be the viscious cycle our lives

    I read the sermon because am currently not in Nairobi but I know I am like Lot’s wife, I am paralyzed by my past. I am struggling to move on. I identify with many ppo in this blog, oh man!! relationships… why do they feel like torture?? People need healing from their past, hurts, brokenness. We need restoration… bible says we forget the former things… we look ahead… we move on… its not easy… I feel like a prisoner to my past, to my pain, to things I wish i could have done differently, to unforgiveness, I wish i can forgive me, to be able to love me, so that I can ‘be the one’ so I can know its not about me but about God.

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  78. KIP ME POSTED ON THE NEXT TOPIC OF THIS.L HAVE LOVED IT GOD BLESS.THANX.

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  79. Pastor M,

    I am still reflecting on the sermon. I was hoping you would ask all the men to stand, if you are married to sit, if you are engaged to sit, if you have a girlfriend to sit, and if you are below thirty to sit. If you have not done mizizi sit…the list goes on …i just needed to spot the one .. clearly the writing was clear stop searching for the one be the one

    Ella

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  80. This is a great sermon, allowing us to focus away from self and our needs and ask the crucial question of whether we ourselves are material for the one before we expect the same of our significant other. I take great lessons from this, thanks Pastor.

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  81. Vee Mwangi Says:

    This is powerful.I love it.

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  82. Guilty Kenyan Says:

    Keeping it real Pastor M
    The ex-factor…. The ex that never leaves. This is addictive and i cannot get over it. The bond seems to supersede marriage and every time i pull away, they keep crawling back….
    What is this???
    I’m married, I’m guilty

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    • if you keep going back to your ex-then there is a big problem.Why are you betraying the love of your life with an ex? what would it feel if the shoe was on the other foot ? you are mature enough to distinguish wrong from right. Your ex is an ex for a reason…..Your spouse does not deserve what you are putting them through. If indeed the bond ‘supersede marriage’ then BE BOLD ENOUGH TO DIVORCE YOUR PARTNER AND GET BACK WITH YOUR EX.what will you do with the children and why is guilt eating you up?

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  83. I am one of those girls who have had their wedding planned out for years. I know my theme colours, what kind of cake will be served, and i’ve narrowed it down to 3 wedding dress choices. The only this missing? A man. LOL. But deep down in my heart, all i wanted was to stop feeling this mind-numbing lonliness…and to find someone who would ‘complete’ me. That didnt work out too good, and after your sermon this Sunday, I know why!! Now I’m all about being COMPLETE by myself, and not expecting anyone else to do it for me!! I still have my dream wedding in mind though..lol..but I need to heal myself first! THANK YOU PASTOR M!

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    • wea’s th like button??? me and you both

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    • Wur I can totally identify with the loneliness…the going home on a Friday evening…with nothing or no one to look forward to…but it’s ok…I should be fine all by myself then…and only then will the my other half show up…
      Listened to Pastor Johnny Carson yesterday and he was saying that God gave Adam a spouse when he was at rest…he wasn’t being a busy-body other wise he would have hooked up with some gorilla or an orangutung(sp)….
      My I am learning sooooo much…I love 🙂

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  84. Awesome message there. I was actually cheating on my church that day and came to Mavuno. I looooooved

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  85. waaaooooh!!!!!am blessed more than u can imgn!baraka to u passy.its an eye opener.am o gretful.

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  86. roses bloom :) Says:

    I have never felt a burden so heavy. Never have I BEEN SLAPPED IN MY FACE as such. Where I have been carrying the pain caused by family, broken senseless relationships and carrying them to the next. Always blaming my past for the mistakes I make. Oh, I didn’t grow up with a dad, no fatherly figure around, different men with my mum is all I knew.. in turn, I settled for any guy who showed interest, gave the little self esteem I had left, got pregnant by them and aborted as soon as I realized they wouldn’t stay because of the baby. Not once, not twice three times. Three times, three different guys , (One of them married) three babies.. I murdered . just In a little span of one year.. . 😦 doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. It saddens me.. heavy laden now that it hits home.. The last ‘relationship’ I met this guy, and in two weeks he had moved in.. like ‘husband and wife’ we lived.. the test drive from the beginning.. we never even did the coffee thing.. or a simple dinner – we just moved in! In two months, I was pregnant hopping to keep him – and dealt with it when he moved out at the hear of baby.. > not referring to him< Whatever life I was living! Endless insecurities.. blame game – looking to be completed by others.. yet regardless of what my situation was with family , I had a choice – to look up to God, to change me – to be a better me – to make me the one, for the one.. Now I heal.. allowing God to break me and make me over – I believe in Love still – I experienced lust.. now, I learn to love. . Thank you for allowing God to use you to speak to us about His will 🙂 and for my wonderful life group, who have held my hand through it all. Being the one. WE SMILE 🙂 For I was lost – He found me and loves on me .. wholeheartedly. This year, I thrive in endless Godly love, because I allow Him meet my needs, before He allows me to meet the needs of another 🙂 Can Sunday get here already! Dealing with my issues. Me – Bloom 🙂

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  87. The sermon was such a blessing. Alot of us needed to hear that message and alot of lives are already been changed. It will definitely be passed on to my children as they grow up. My marriage already feels different as both my husband and I are stepping up to be “the one”. Be blessed.

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  88. Musyoka MH Says:

    Im getting the language, detoxifying from the disbelieve to the reality, accepting and then………………………………2nd Sermon Im patiently waiting

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  89. Hi Mavuno i wish to say that i am truly blessed by last week’s teachings. I just entered a new relationship less than one month ago and i pray that these teachings will positively influence my thinking and attitude as i and my partner build the foundation of our long term companionship. I seek God’s wisdom in working to be the one and ask God to be the 10 inches stone on our base. I will make a point of attending the whole season and bring him with me. Thanks Pastor M. GOD ALWAYS BLESS YOU FOR YOUR GOOD WORKS. WANT TO WISH HAPPY VALENTINES To the entire fraternity of Mavuno

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  90. Pastor M, may God richly bless you as you take us throught this particular teaching, mine is a long story. I hope at the end of teh month (after having gone thoughtteh whole series) i will be able to give my testimony. Stay blessed!

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  91. God's Jewel Says:

    I was in a 8yr relationship that ended bitterly…i came out with a daughter and a bitter heart. I loved and supported this man alot. While we were dating i thought he was the best when we moved in together after my pregnancy i discovered he cheated alot….he never respected me and after giving birth all he cared about was the daughter. He was from Central and i come from the lake region…i thought we would work and get out of our issues. We even saw a marriage cousellor and nothing worked…i left him one day and thats when i saw his true colours…he stopped supporting us financially as i was not employed. I had resigned from my job to start a business which he is running to this day…he never completed his college education and i felt we should be partners in the business. He messed me up,embarrased me and hurled insults at me…i hated my daughter for a while coz i felt she was the ‘tie that bound me’ to this evil man i thought i knew. How fo i get over this bitterness….this guy moved into my house but when i left i only took my clothes he called the cops on me and said i was stealing from his house….how how do i forgive him…how should i trust this men again….i have done ombi,mizizi hoping to kill this bitterness but i feel like its the man i should kill to punish him. But the sermon taught me one thing….this bad attitude i have now will only attract angry, arrogant men…..i hope and pray that as we move on God will speak to me one way or another coz i had decided i am done with relationships….

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    • Pole sana for what happened, we are praying that you will overcome this and God will bless u again with another business.am doing simama class and alot of this stuff are in that book.One thing i learned is that Forgiveness sets you free and allows God to deai with the person.Heb 12 :14 also warns us against bitterness.I think you are in the right place for God to use you.wait on Him

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  92. wow!! Pastor M im SPEEECHLESS! jsuch a timely word
    @serial insanity taking a break from relationships is the best decision you have made .its difficult to sit still and allow God to heal and restore us but its a process that is necessary and worth it in the end.may you get to the point where God is all you need ,where you rely on him completely . Never forget there is grace enough for every sin accept Gods forgiveness and most importantly forgive yourself.Jesus loves you totally and unconditionally.God bless.

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  93. One of the best sermons av listed to at mavuno…The last 4months God has really bn working on me .
    Thanx Pastor M for this word that cut like a sword with a message of Life.

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  94. THRIVIST... Says:

    Hi Pst. M, indeed I enjoyed the sermon and I believe God really wanted me to hear this but when I got back home, it just dawned on me that just maybe the relationship I have been in over the past year just falls short of what I thought it was. Questions are just abound in my head asking whether I really love this girl or whether this is me trying to get that affirmation that I never got form my folks, from her. The sermon got to explain why I was always saddened when she didn’t text back sooner or call sooner or even mention the occasional “I love you” oftenly. At this point I am just disillusioned, passionately asking God to make things clear. At the moment I don’t know what love is. I don’t want to speculate anything or ask for a break from her or do anything stupid but I’m asking God to just speak because I hate this feeling. And to make matters even worse, she is “again” at a place where she’s asking if we hooked up abit sooner than expected and that even in the relationship she feels bottled up…WHAT???? At this rate I’m even scared about the next sermon…Will it confirm my fears? But deep down I know that God is working that i just need to be a little more patient but I sleep in the comfort that by Him I kept the relationship pure and that she is in a much deeper relationship with God and if it is going to work, we’ll say Praise God, and if He has a different agenda, we will still say Praise God. So keep me in your prayers folks…..

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  95. thanx for sharing, it’s informative and challenging!

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  96. Pastor M., I thank God for this message, if there ever was a timely message for me, this is one of them (considering, especially, the stage I am at in life). Jesus, thank-you so much for availing the opportunity for me to listen to this message that You had for me (I pray for many more of such), and for using Pastor M. and Mavuno in such a way…to You be the glory, praise, wisdom, and power, forever and ever, AMEN!!!

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  97. Thanks alot pastor M. I had reached a point where instead of praying for a husband, I was praying for a good job, then i can use the money to attract a ka jamaa even if not in a stable job.. as long as I had the money.. I could fashion the relationship to take care of my needs! Timely sermon indeed

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  98. awesome stuff!!

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  99. Awesome awesome!!

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  100. Let me tell you, this sermon is just #LemonFace.. Ask Aroro Crucial Keys.. Walalalalalalallala!!

    LEMON FACE!

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  101. This was quite timely …. The Truth! right there

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  102. Makes sense. But so many do’s and don’ts. Frustrated with rules at the moment, in a ‘that grace may abound’ frame of mind.

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  103. Pastor M, you are a blessing and i cant stop reading the blog and the comments others are making. But i want to say, i thank God for bringing you in my life such a time. I came to Mavuno Church last year (2011) when a friend i was fellowshipping with somewhere else, (a Mavunite) invited me to your church. To be honest i was overwhelmed. I remember when i went to the visitors tent i was saying to myself, how lucky are the people who knew about this church kitambo coz they are really grown with the things of God because of all what i have gained from this church from January 2011. Sometimes i wonder, kwani God ako na mpango gani coz he connected me with the people i really needed in life and this enabled me make this my home and i immediately enrolled in doing Mizizi, Lea Class and Ombi consecutively and to be honest i am a transformed girl and each marathon is dealing with me like never before and i am optimistic that i will finish well and not finish for the sake of finishing but be totally transformed and also be in your shoes to help others who have been like me. When i listened to your summon i said, wao this is a good sermon coz now it is preparing me for my man because all along i have been looking for men who will make me happy, satisfy me and make me a queen. Unfortunately, as you said “Let me put it starkly… clingy, desperate women tend to attract uncaring, insensitive men… and vice versa!” This just hit me that i have always attracted the wrong men because of my former desperate state and now i have realized, i need no one on this planet to make me a happy person. I just need Jesus to make me the ONE. As a single mum i have a lot of hope that i will enjoy my life just like any other person who is enjoying it to the fullest whether married or single. Of this am sure will come to pass. Lord, now i am ready to continue work on myself and please, bring this man nearer now coz i am now wired to a great marriage and this time round i know i will not hit the rock! Thank you Pastor M. for changing my life! I will never be the same i cant wait for the series to end coz it has started with a bang and by the time it is ending, watch this space, things will never be the same again.

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  104. Hapo sawa, Pastor M. This is what I have missed and though I cant change the past may I use this to brighten my future as well with my dependants. I love you BIG pastor M and more so your team

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  105. walalala… i almost hugged pastor BX for preaching what has always been in my head. i have always prayed for a Mathew 7:12 kind of marriage, where we would both try to be what we expect from the other. i always got so mad at people who have these ridiculous long list of mr. and Miss right that even they would never qualify for!! i must say i LOVED this… let’s stop pressuring people to be our pseudo perfect people yet we are not perfect. if you try be who you expect of others, i tell you… you will realize just how demanding you are and how human we all are.
    the hardest thing i have ever had to do with my life is to live the gospel of Matthew 7:12…. en it was hard because i realized how hard i was on others. let’s BE THE ONE and stop pushing others to be the one we cannot be….

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  106. I missed church last sunday, but i managed to follow this on the blog…and i must say, hapo umegonga msumari kwa kichwa. indeed, knowing your focus in life is the most attractive thing (mbaithawei, i never used to be focused, i was lost and walking randomly to some goal, any goal, but i managed to focus…phew!)…that way God hooks us up with people who will walk with us…people who are also focused…people we will enjoy the walk with…people with a dual focus…yaani lengo ni moja…i found mine last year, and we are walking well together…i thank God for her…and i’m looking forward to many more years together…

    twende kazi! next sunday sihati…

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  107. Wah, has anyone seen the news on ntv…based on the debate of how akina maina n kingangi’s show is over-sexualised, that was jus a timely message that jus showed me how we need to change our mind set as a society…

    @ella lol, haha ati everyone sits down except your one!
    @ thrivist, definitely praying for you to find clarity, av bn in that situation before, kinda like u dont want to leave in case theres nothin better out there, but i hope God shows u what the next move is, n that u n ur girl ate strong enough for whatever comes next

    @ rosesbloom n everyone else who’s,posted about abortion n losing in the sex m self esteem game, my heart just goes out to you because that’s a game i know too well…am not out of the woods yet, but God os showing me that His love is bigger than anything, bigger than even our guilt nvour disappointment in ourselves. He formed our hearts n am beggin Him daily to mend it n get me (us) back to the path of joy n hope he intended for me (us)

    @pastor m, on twitter before the sermon u posted for God to speak to His people, He sooo totally did.

    @Astar, wah, ur dream of CTA is def comin true, wth ur show n wth how channels mostly ntv r cuttin ‘dirty scenes’…its not so fun wen am caught in the moment n waitin for alejandro to kiss marichui n they cut it, but, am glad to deal wth it to deal wth raisin our standards…

    nway, gosh i can talk forever, so long, bye

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  108. God's Jewel Says:

    with all these lessons we are learning, striving to be the ‘proverbs 31 women’ mavuno should start a dating agency to save all of ua all this drama of looking…..its the right place anyway! baraka mob!

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  109. michael mwangi Says:

    This is a lovely piece. Id love to know how it ends; so I’ll be the One!!

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  110. Eyes Wide Open Says:

    Wah, i jus realized how blind i’ve been, i was in probably the worst rltnshp in history, we started datin in september n he was a swtheart till dec when he cheated on me, 2 wks later i forgave him n we went to coast where a) i spent 15k in expenses, he lives there but dint even cntribute to my hotel xpenses, b) that same holiday i got arrested by the city council for getting off a mat in the wrong place in coast where he lives n he didnt bail me out c) he dumped me before valentines n came back after……..yaani, i can list stuff he did to me n i kept goin back thinking ths tume it will work, but no more, i’ve gotta say it like Leah, ‘this time I will,praise the Lord.’ no more bein treated like a door mat, i was made by God for so much more.
    I cant understand my thoughts or my heart or the logic that told me it was ok to be treated like that n to keep goin back.
    I pray God changes my heart and gives me that God-esteem you Pastor M was speaking of. That version of me isn’t working anymore.

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  111. Nellie Watati Says:

    Pastor M,my freind shared this blog with me and really i need of a church that will hold me and teach me how to be close to God coz really am on my own throughout i have been hurt and disappointed so am turning all my efforts to God,pleases tell em where your church is and if it has Sunday school since i need my son to be involved in church fully

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  112. I used to feel jelous when almost everyone around me was in a relationship apart from me..it made me feel as if no guy wanted me..but thanx for showing me that my worth and value is found in Christ and not in being in a relationship.. so am dedicating this year to finding my identity in Christ..thanx Pastor M 🙂

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  113. I was not at church on Sunday. The sermon was so popular on twitter, I patiently waited for it to be uploaded on YouTube come Monday. One of the reasons why I wasn’t so psyched about this series is because I didn’t really think it applied to me….until today (Saturday).
    Here I was, thinking that THE ONE had found me…I knew that the search was over, this was it. Only to get a call today from his wife today (Saturday). YES, my THE ONE is also someone elses THE ONE. And to make matters worse, this guy could be gay or rather bi-sexual…I’m in utter shock. Need to re-evaluate myself and find out why I attract the strangest of men. Hope this series will be a blessing to me as it has been for many others. Because right now I’m just shocked beyond words!
    God Bless.

    Like

  114. I jst love 2days sermon.am trusting God 4 a man of my dreams

    Like

  115. […] the blog responses were anything to go by last week, our generation is tired of the insanity and are crying out for something different! Over 3000 […]

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  116. Pastor M, I thank God for your message last Sunday. I have never blogged before, but this is the sermon that did it for me. I now realize that I have spent the better part of 36 years waiting for a jamaa to make sense of my life. I now realize that my life makes sense because of Jesus, and not because of my marital status. As Paul says in Corinthians, marriage is a gift, but singleness is also a gift. Thanks to your sermon, I have now dropped my unrealistic expectations of guys. The worship session led by Kanji also taught me that I need to surrender all my hopes and dreams at the cross. I did that last Sunday, and an overwhelming peace settled over me. I am truly experiencing inner joy. I feel complete. My peaceful demeanour has resulted in new found friendships. It feels good to walk life confidently and without baggage, and to live life as God wants me to live it. God bless Mavuno Church.

    Like

  117. Monicah Njeri Says:

    Whaaaaaat! my 1st time in mavuno&i am still in spiritual shock!!
    This was my sermon
    Sermon made in heaven just for Njeri!
    One love one leader?
    i was married 12yrs 12streneous yrs, simply put i left and with all the long stories i can tell, i have one ans to give, we had totally different leaders and we loved very different things.
    Now i know and i so passionately want to stay in mavuno, a church with a difference…felt like home.

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  118. Yenyewe huyu Pasi ana elewa vile si mayouth are are lacking. Personally I’ve learnt that relatioships work best if any two people are already complete in Christ.
    Nina shukuru sana ushauri wake namwomba Mungu anipe ufahamu.

    God Bless Pastor M

    Like

  119. Lost In Translation Says:

    Pastor M, my hubby and i dont even go to the same church, he wants to be a pastor now 3 years after we have been married, i’m not ready to be a pastors wife. I feel that this will drive us apart, i listened to the story of a guy who really wanted to be pastor but could not because he had to support his wife’s career. I want my hubby to follow his passion & dream but i’m not ready for all that comes with him becoming a pastor. I love coming to this church and i’m not willing to change that, but me supporting him, will mean changing everything and taking up something i’m not ready for or haven’t heard the call for. This is tight and i dont know what to do. One leader one purpose – its really tough. I’m i the problem here???? I’m really confused.

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  120. […] there some deal breakers that will almost for sure sabotage your relationship? For our visitors, last week we began a series called ‘Finders Keepers: How To Find and Keep The One’. We’re learning some foundational principles from scripture about how to enter and conduct […]

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  121. “Pole sana for what happened, we are praying that you will overcome this and God will bless u again with another business.am doing simama class and alot of this stuff are in that book.One thing i learned is that Forgiveness sets you free and allows God to deai with the person.Heb 12 :14 also warns us against bitterness.I think you are in the right place for God to use you.wait on Him”

    Hi people why are you advising people to leave their husbands and wives in the name of encouragement, of course that is poor interpretation of the bible. We should offer sound biblical doctrines

    Like

    • Hi Neptune, I don’t think it’s clear who it is that you are referring to. The sermon most certainly did not even hint that “people…leave their husbands and wives in the name of encouragement”, neither have the comments above done any of that.

      In fact if anything, they were saying that should you find you are married to someone who is not treating you well, instead of leaving the marriage, which is not God’s will, change the focus from the other person and work on yourself. Hence the title, “Be The One”.

      That was a real revelation, even for me.

      Like

  122. JUDY NDANU Says:

    This is wonderful. I like. Please send me more materials related to this via my email.
    God bless

    Like

  123. I am actually writing to you from NY! One of my facebook friends posted the sermon online and I had to check it out. I am so glad I did! I have been through a string of relationships that just weren’t right and I was wondering what I was doing to attract these kind of men. It is now confirmed that I need to shift my focus on God and work on my issues, “to be the one”. I love that God hears and answers our prayers. I encourage everyone to keep the faith. Keep praying and keep expecting. God is good! I feel like I have a fresh start and am looking forward to the future! I can’t wait to watch the rest of the series!
    Thanks!
    Bell

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  124. Writing from Dadaab What yani am blessed and was in a really bad place in my life..yani all you said in that sermon yani I felt you were speaking directly to me…..Be the ONe sermon has really made me come to a realisation of what I need God to change in My life and heal me of the Pain and hurt of past relationships. Thank God for you Pastor M for this great sermon. God has started a transformation in my life.
    God Bless

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  125. Pasie this is a real-time message God bless you big time. My big question is? with all this information, left, right n center, about health relationships n marriage, divorce n separations, mostly for young coulples are on the rise, compared to the last decade. Do all this info. help or the generation had gone dumb? just a thot!!!

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  126. This was an awesome sermon! I shared it on my fb page, with my friends at work& anyone I could. What a blessing to finally get some sound advice! I will be following your blogs & sermons until I am finally able to come to visit your church. Greetings from Atlanta.

    Like

  127. Hi Pastor M,

    I am so overwhelmed with a mixture of emotion I don’t know where to begin. I’ve been pondering, blogging looking in all the wrong places for answers on how not to repeat the same mistake twice. It is by sheer coincidence I came across this sermon on Fb. To be honest with u…I am moved and I cant believe how much I have been missing not coming to Mavuno…My story is that of a woman who got played soo much so that she gave up on her marriage…It was always my deal breaker from the word go….I saw the signs but did not heed. And to add salt to injury I got pregnant and walked down the isle without putting God first. And when things got thicker I couldn’t hold on to Him that holds all the answers. But I do thank God that he gave me guts to leave albeit with a lot of drama(which I now realise was not necessary. I should have kept my cool)…and that I have been able to fight depression and despite the fact that I have not been holding on to Him tight He has proved true to his promise…never letting me go..EVER..isnt that amazing?

    I worshipped with u…did mizizi and even ndoa but I ran away from mavuno because I partly blamed it for my demise ever since I found my baby daddy in a compromising situation with a woman from the same mavuno where we used to worship…Listening to you today however has made me realise that it is not the churches fault that women will hook up with married men and vise versa…call themselves spiritual and even go for life group meetings together…But since I am being honest I do think the church should put its foot down and let its stand known. I’m however forever grateful that the pastors were there for me but at the time the resentment coupled with the shame of being seen there could not allow me to even worship with you and I guess all I wanted was to avoid uncomfortable situations…I’m also happy that the church these past months has been very understanding and supportive.

    You are truly blessed Pastor M and my prayer today is that u will reach millions not thousands of people that they may practice due diligence as they embark into marriage and relationships. Now thanks to you I realise that I cant blame my bad choices on youth but on my distance from God…Each n every day He has been trying to communicate this to me but I wasn’t getting it till now. I have been struggling with purpose even during mizizi and I wasn’t getting that too till today. I feel soo liberated I’m close to tears…and to have found closure in a church I had ran away from speaks volumes.

    God wants me back on that green chair that I know oh so too well. He has a plan for me and I keep going off the rails I believe this time round my train shall stay on course and my life will be steered to its true purpose. See u this Sunday. I shall come with my head up high proud to be a mavunite if u will have me back :). I have searched for a worship location but found none that speaks to me to the extent that I look for every excuse not to go to church. But now I know I need it more than I’ve ever needed anything to keep reminding me of my inbuilt values that unless I live by…I shall never find happiness. If you could do a piece on adultery and divorce that could help. I don’t see myself ever going back to baby daddy but I do see myself in a fulfilling relationship/marriage and I strongly believe that I shall find that someone to share a truly authentic life with.

    PS: I thank God that he has put u on that pedestal to be and lead by example.
    PPS: Hoping this isn’t the longest letter uve received this decade hehehe.

    Sincerely A girl

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  128. am all the way in Canada and am glad that a friend posted this message on my wall on fb..I cant wait for the next series..

    Like

  129. This series has touched me to the last nerve, I’ve read the sermon 3 times trying to absorb it all in. I stopped attending church regularly coz somewhere along the way I just lost my focus on God and just shifted it to the relationship. And after a while I feel like I dont even know who I am anymore, the relationship is failing and I want to walk out of it. But I have been blaming a lot on him, and instead of Being the One, I have been trying to feed off him and customise myself to what he wants/ expects, shelving ‘me’. I will come to the service on Sunday, I have realised I need to work on me first before I can be someone’s ‘better half’. God bless u Past M. This sermon has literally saved my life and is the answer I have been searching for.

    Like

  130. receiving you loud and clear in Haiti. god bless you pastor for being that voice that wakes us up.

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  131. receiving you loud and clear in Haiti. God bless you pastor for being that voice!

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  132. superb sermon. Just came at a time I want to get married but the question is with whom

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  133. This is truly a good read and very true.
    God bless.

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  134. Is it possible to do this series at Nairobi Chapel Ngong road, we really need this.

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  135. I’m glad I listened to the sermon on youtube, I’m going to share it with all my friends. May God continue to work through you pastor!

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  136. That was an eye opening sermon and i call myself crazy-doing the same thing over and over and wondering why i end up hurt……And this year i choose to be happily single this year and that i can sort my issues out and with God’s grace that i may become whole and become THE ONE. Amen.

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  137. […] the way, the last Sunday of Finders Keepers is coming up.  It’s all the buzz on the internets, so I’m sure you’ll give the […]

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  138. Message on time may the lord continue to do the good work in you pastor M.This year will be so fruitful because with good relationships one leader, one love ,being the one everything else is sorted . I am looking forward to attending one live service .Thank God for technology coz I enjoy online like any other member

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  139. Pastor M, you are truly a man sent from above. Am married and for a long time until very recently I have this feeling of resignation. I would cry alot and be bitter and angry…gosh I cant tell you how angry I was and expected my hubby to come home and just pick me up. Unfortunately, he is the happy type and he would come home, play with our son and act as if he cant notice my agony! I finally heard my mom’s urge to go back to my roots-to God. I have grown up knowing God but along the way I decided I knew my way. I went to church and I started praying and listening to His voice. Am no longer bitter or angry and I will forgive easily now and even I have a beautiful relationship with my family. I thank God for finding my need and restoring me. This sermon just drove the nail in deeper.

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  140. Hallo,

    Been following this series with alot of interest since quite a few people in my life are Mavunites (just saw this word today and i loved it). I visited Mavuno once in 2009 when i had just come back into the country and there was alot of talk about it around town. i didn’t really listen much, i was there very much in the role of an observer.
    This series peak to me so loudly. i found myelf moved to tears as i read and reflected on all the failed realtionships of my life. i am this confident woman to the world, yet very needy in realtionhips so i end up with the insensitive guys.
    Pastor M., way God continue to use you as his vessel to minister to the hearts of a generation that is hurting so badly. Thank-you!

    Like

  141. […] that in a time when everyone around us is looking for a relationship to meet their needs, ‘stop searching for the one, be the one!‘ Then we focused on Deal Breakers and we learnt that the most important foundation for an […]

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  142. my life never remains the same aftr this..exactly meant for my ears..thank you God for making me come across this..a complete turning point.Bless You man of God

    Like

  143. my cousin told me to read this…and believe me it was meant for me..thank you very much it has really inspired me.

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  144. Waaa! like scales falling from my eyes. Thanks and blessings Pastor.

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  145. Thank you Pastor M.

    Like

  146. I finally got to check out the sermon, thank you for uploading it on Youtube. 1st I cannot believe men were attempting to answer the question, what women want.. If was in the service and I was asked that question by pastor M. i would have told him i would rather take my chances with raising th 180million . 🙂 ,
    Anyhu, what i loved most from the sermon, learnin that I will attract n be attracted to the ppl who are like me. It was eye opening and playing a savior to someone is not the way to be in a relationship only Jesus can save someone,…and oooh yah. tuwashe utoto..
    now on to the nxt sermon!

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  147. upgraded Says:

    Hi Pastor M,
    Hope your good. Your message about relationships has helped me sort out a friend of mine living in Malawi who was almost divorcing his wife.
    I felt like the annointing in that word led me to talk him out of doing what he was about to! I celebrate coz today he turned over a new leaf and is taking a working on it approach (being the one)and setting a proper foundation from now hence(one leader one love; friends with benefits).
    This was a divine series

    Like

  148. Be the one….simple but really deep truth right there….thanx for the insight

    Like

  149. I came across the sermons on a friend’s FB page. I have lots of mama issues, anger, bitterness, resentment, full of the need to revenge on some souls…the list is endless.

    Very strong lessons I have learned through the sermons. To be honest, sometimes I feel like God threw me in the trash can and forgot all about me. I had been zealous in praying and going to church, even participating in church activities…but threw in the towel when it seemed like God wasn’t looking my way for what I believe I needed. It has become difficult for me to believe that God can really bless me. I have burdens…parental burdens…I need lifted, but don’t know how to get that sorted because, like I said before, it feels like God threw me in the trash can and threw on the lid and walked away.

    I know my bible, but I don’t really believe a word in it. I go to church, but I forever feel empty and unfufilled. Just tell me, what else is there? Is there really hope in Christ for a better future? Do you feel me? I just need an honest answer.

    Like

  150. Everlyne Says:

    I really want to be the one for my heart is troubled.

    Like

  151. I have really been inspired and encouraged.Just started reading the messages recently over the internet and I must say, despite being all the way in London I feel as if am home.its really nice to be able to access things like this straight from people who share similar experiences and background.I have had a rough patch in my life but after reading these messages am confident that I can rise again and make something out of what I’ve got.I just love the way I can relate to all this.my friends are also huge fans of this blog. Am really grateful and may God continue expanding this church.you are indeed an inspiration to many…thanks

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  152. James Brian Says:

    Thank you very much. I like this and I pray that it reaches and blesses millions.

    Like

  153. Valentine Says:

    Wao! That’s a great lesson though. TO build a great relationship, it requires a heart that lets go off the past, healed from every hurt and allowing God to make you all He wanted you to be. To ever get a Mr./Mrs./ right, it begins with you become right first, being the most happiest person, then the other half will just come to complement. It all takes God’s grace, wisdom and understanding to grow a healthy, deeper relationship.

    Like

  154. Phelisters Bosibori Says:

    Enlightening this is

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