Dispossesed

Dreams and visions of life are an ideal world where everything works and nothing goes wrong. Enter reality. The issue with life is that the reality is not like this. There are times “.” Bad things happen to good people. Somehow because of our fallen nature, which began with the sin of Adam and Eve – our lives will always experience tough problems. These situations hit our friends’ lives suddenly, indiscriminately, without warning and often times leave us with much pain;

  • When a loved one faces these challenges – what do they go through?
  • What does God’s word teach us about how to love them?
  • How then must we respond? What is our spiritual first aid kit for response?
Learn from God’s word what we can and should do to those close to us – when life happens.

Feelings: What are some of the things you are likely to go through?

A person who loses a job feels – Hopeless, ripped off, vengeful, denial, depressed, betrayed. These are many of the same feelings one has when they have been robbed of something precious; when they have lost a big business deal, when they have had their house or belongings auctioned.

Men feel a deep sense of loss. Something about our jobs is connected to our identity. Take a job away from a man and he feels detached, a part of his identity is affected, his drive for life is affected. At that point it does not matter what the reason was – good economics, cost cutting, making it better for the other employees, fraud in the department – it does not matter!!

What do you do if you are this person’s friend? What do you do if it is your brother? What do you do if it is your life group assistant leader? What do you do if it is your Mizizi leader? What must I do in this awkward situation when life has happened for this person? What must we do?

Usual Responses: My instinct is to avoid talking about it when I am with the person. Sometimes we keep quiet, other times we talk about everything else. We don’t know whether to be happy, sad, enjoy humor.

What must I do when life happens as it did for …? What must we do?

Scripture [1 Sam 19-29]: A season in King David’s life.  This was before his Kingship. After enjoying brief time of service in Saul’s army and in his court as the King’s private musician, Saul fired him and wanted to kill him.

Scripture [1 Sam 30:1-6]: After this incident David took his 600 men and went to engage the Amalekites. We are told that 200 of these were too tired. He left them at the Besor Ravine and went on with 400. They engaged with the Amalekites and won the battle. And got back all their families and things. David, a career soldier, with side skills in music, was laid of twice in 18 months. On top of that his wife was captured, kids taken away, things stolen – all in one day. Losing a job, losing your valued belongings – is a tough thing to experience. It often happens in a random way without warning and with little preparation. Even the most prepared person is always hit severely by job loss. How do we deal with it? What can we learn from King David’s circumstances and his response? How do we as Mavuno respond when life happens to one of us – when they lose their job? When they lose a significant business deal? When someone loses a home because of mortgage non-payment?

Encourage Yourself

When David faced this predicament, the Bible teaches us that v. 6 David found strength in the LORD his God. What does it mean that David encouraged himself in the Lord? We have many examples from his own songs which teach us a little about his strengthening himself in the Lord. Read Psalm 13.

To encourage yourself in the Lord according to this example means at least two things –

  1. Honesty – Be ready to face your feelings head on. Be honest to God and to close friends about your real feelings. David wept along with his men. He was able to fully vent his feelings of loss and sorrow. He was honest in the safe environment amongst his friends. [1 Sam 30:4]. From this Psalm we see that David was also honest to God. “I feel abandoned right now… I am sorrowful and wrestling in my mind…” There is a place for honest, constructive venting of feelings. It does not stop there.
  2. Trust – Be ready to trust in God’s sovereignty over your situation. God is ultimately in control, even though it may not seem like it, and it may not feel like it. This is much harder to do than to be honest about your situation. I struggle with this. It is not easy to submit back to God yet it is necessary in order to be able to deal with the situation.
You must speak to yourself and tell yourself that God is in control. In any case, only God holds the keys to your future, your purpose and your destiny.

Engage yourself

In this passage, from v.7, are told that when David lost his job, family, house, belongings … he engaged with the situation. We are told that after mourning and being honest about his feelings he gathered around him his men then went and dealt with the problem. The problem here were the Amalekites.

You need to consider what you can do in order to face the problem in the face and do something about it. If you do nothing about it then depression will come and over take you. Sometimes there isn’t much you can do about your job but you can find creative ways to engage your energies and passions. Have a side hustle, a profitable hobby, and other things that build your life and enrich it.

Encircle yourself

Put yourself in a community of people who can face challenges with you. When you read further you find that David had at least 400 fellow men who were able to face the challenge of the Amalekites with him. They were people who had gone through the challenge with him and they eventually overcame the Amalekites and restored everything that had been taken. [v.17]

From David we learn that when you have been dispossessed of your job, when you lose that big business deal, when you lose that opportunity then you need to

  1. To encourage yourself. You need to be honest to God and select others about your feelings and challenges.
  2. To engage yourself. Connect with your energies and passions in order to face the challenge and address it.
  3. To encircle yourself. You need to have around you a number of people with whom you can deal with the issues at hand. These are people who will be safe company but also constructive company.

How do we as Mavuno respond when life happens to one of us – when they lose their job? When they lose a significant business deal? When someone loses a home because of mortgage non-payment? Do you know such a person?

Practical support 

Here are some practical things we can do for those who have lost their jobs or been laid off . We need to be a church that CARES;

  • Community – come close to one who has lost their job, or lost their precious things. David had 600 people who were around him at this time.  This is what church is about. This is why we have life groups. You cannot be great alone. You must learn to never walk alone. You were designed to walk through life with others.
  • Active listening. We need to actively listen when a person is sharing their honest feelings of loss. Allow them to be human. David poured out his heart to God through his songs and prayers. We need to create a safe place for our friends to speak honestly. Active listening means that you empathize.
  • Reason together – When they are ready and when they invite you, then you need to reason together and share possible solutions with them. Brain storm with an open mind about how your relative or friend can move on in life.
  • Engage in action – take one or two of your ideas that will build the person and walk with them as they move on. Life must move on.
  • Submit to God – In a gentle way point the person to God’s sovereignty over their circumstances. Do not try to explain away their circumstances. Remind them about

God is calling us to be a caring community that embraces and walks with those around us who have lost jobs, lost business deals, missed opportunities, been submerged by debt.

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2 Responses to “Dispossesed”

  1. IT MIGHT BE ADDRESSED TO MEN BUT ITS A MESSAGE FOR ALL OF US.

    We All Need Some of This

    Study military strategy and you will find a re-occurring theme, divide the enemy. Separate them. Isolate them. If you’ve ever watched a nature episode on the Discovery channel then you have seen how the animals hunt and divide the weakest off from the heard.

    Satan, our enemy, wants to do the exact same thing. Separate us. Isolate us. Make a man feel like he is all alone. “No one else at your church would be able to help you with this,” he whispers. “No one else is struggling like you.” And the big lie he whispers to me all the time, “No one else really cares.” Which is just a step away from saying, God doesn’t care.

    Even though I know they are all lies, I can’t believe how quickly I will fall for them. I have to “speak” the truth to myself.

    But there is still something else we all need. It helps us carry on during battles. We need encouragement. Some of us may not realize how much we need it.

    At our recent Men Who Win Advance, several men took the scary risk of sharing their weaknesses and struggles. I call it scary because Satan whispers in our ear, “These men will reject you if you tell them that.” That might be true if we shared our struggles with men of the world, but never true when shared with men of God.

    Immediately each man received encouragement. We laid hands on each one and prayed for him. Those men left feeling restored and uplifted. They felt stronger. Part of the reason for feeling stronger, they knew they were not alone.

    The next day after it was over, one man sent me a text, “May the Lord rock your Spirit today.” At the time I did not know who it was, but it still immediately brought encouragement. I did not feel alone. I knew if I needed someone to cover my back, I had it.

    You might be saying, “No one ever encourages me.” First, have you let anyone know of your struggles? Have you let another man of God see your weakness? That’s really important. We can’t help each other fight the enemy if we don’t know how or where the enemy is attacking us through you. Secondly, I would remind all of us of the Galatians 6:7 principle, “You will ALWAYS harvest what you plant.” (NLT) If you want to harvest some encouragement, then go plant some today. I guarantee you will be surprised how many men need to be encouraged.

    Jamie Futrell
    Men who Win Ministries
    http://www.menwhowin.com

    Like

  2. Thank you for that,and may God bless you even more.

    Like

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