What If Accepting God Means I Remain Single?

Watch the online stream archive here;

The correct order is… Master, Mission, Mate!

Pastor M’s note: For all who are interested, here’s a great website with devotionals for singles that I came across.

[Apologies in advance, the video streamed for only 54:47 min, we are having problems with out internet connection but we will upload the audio as well so that you can get what was cut out.]


39 Responses to “What If Accepting God Means I Remain Single?”

  1. This sermon was my highlight for this series. I feel like my eyes were re-opened, so thank you Pastor M and the panelists who were on stage.
    I have heard the “Master-Mission-Mate” message severally before but this time it really hit home. There is so much pressure these days to have a man, to get married, etc but no one really concentrates on mission, purpose, drive, passion.
    I have decided to concentrate on what God has called me to do for now and the Mate will come along at his appointed time. I now desire more to find my purpose.
    Another realization I came across was that marriage is not an end, in itself. I used to see marriage as the culmination of all my life goals, everything I have worked towards leading up to this cataclysmic moment in history, when I meet The One and we begin this wondrous life together, blazing trails and flying through obstacles together…doing what it is we were called to be…BE WITH EACH OTHER.
    I’m not saying this is wrong entirely, it’s just that that would be a lot of pressure on the guy who comes along. I realized marriage is just a part of life, together with career, mission, and all else that comes with life.
    Sigh…no more pressure. I feel relieved.
    Thank you and God bless the Mavuno staff team!


  2. This week’s sermon on being single was such a welcome surprise. As the oldest and only unmarried person among my siblings, I sometimes feel like God has indeed forgotten me. I have learned to cope by preaching the gospel to myself, often reminding myself that I am complete in Christ; that He will supply all of my needs, regardless of my single status; that He is with me till the end of the age; that I am a delight to Him, no matter that I don’t come as a pair. I have to preach the gospel to myself often because I often succumb to pressure that comes from others, but also sometimes from myself wondering whether I am somehow defective and unworthy of a spouse. I know that God loves me. I know that he always has my best interest at heart. I know that He will never leave nor forsake me, regardless of what I feel or how I sometimes act. He is trully the best friend a girl could ask for.
    I am the one whom God loves.


  3. I dont even know where to start coz there is no beginning. Okay jana was just weird…first Pastor M when u told us to share what we thought about the kicc saga i told my bestfriend who was next to me obviously, exactly what u preached….every thing you said about rebekah. i even gave her the book in the bible to refer to. That was scary. nway my take was that as the christian community we were embarassed at how little us ladies know the bible. this whole year there has been great emphasis at how were should know our God which is by reading our bibile plus you also said how God uses bible characters as examples. So i stopped procastinating and began a journey through the bilble and so far what i have learnt with regard to this question is that there is no woman who prayed or sought her spouse. please correct me if am wrong. secondly most of the ladies were spreading love when they were spotted. Rebekah was fetching water for her family, rachel was hearding her dads sheep, ruth was gleaning the field as her mum in law had told her, esther was taking care of modecai…as in us ladies have been doing things all wrong! LADIES go about your business and just put all your trust in God. Its hard but its possible.


    • Jana’s sermon was wow! We have so much conformed to the ways of this world that we no longer refer to what the word says especially in this area. We have compromised our faith e.g. getting unequally yoked and believing that you will change the person, God is the only one in the business of changing people.

      It is good to get yoked with someone whom you are on the same spiritual page, you get to see things the same in the light of the word.

      Lets begin to renew our minds with the word of God then we shall know the perfect will of God for our lifes, lets not get into the rat race.


    • i love your comment! God bless you!


  4. Ashamed Sinner Says:

    Hi mavuno..where do i start? Let me start by saying am a hypocrite. I have a sexual addiction problem that only God can solve and heal. The Lord delivered me from porn a while back ago but i went back into it. I now not only watch porn and masturbate in private but expose my nudity to women in the streets to gain arousal. I have had rape thoughts in my mind and am afraid of what this might lead to. My purpose? My reputation? Mavuno, pastor M am scared. God has been warning me time and time again, so i resolve for one day and the next day am back to it. I look very holy and perfect from the outside, in church, family and at work. People think am a righteous man because, its an image i put on. God has been showing me lately especialy with the hypocrite sermon am one of those people quick to judge sinners yet am a sinner, and as i have judged them am afraid of God exposing me to judge me to and to show the world that am not a demi-god but a sinner. Since the bible says we must confess our sins to one another, this i cant its very shameful and it would require someone who is not judgmental to help me out hence the reason i chose to confess it you-mavuno blog. Am asking for prayers especialy the pastors even if it means fasting for me. PLEASE! I am sorry for the women i have hurt in my doings and thoughts. I keep asking myself what if its my daughter? Sister or wife? Lord please help me. Am ashamed Lord, you have delivered me but i still chose sin. Help me to broken before you, its like am more concerned of what people think about me than what you think of me. HELP.


    • Ashamed Sinner and more importantly Child of the Most hHgh,

      Thank you so much for your transparency. I prayed for you this morning when I read your comments and will continue to pray for you. YOU are God’s beloved. You are a man after God’s heart, whether you feel it or not. He knows all you have done, but His love for you will NEVER be diminished. His desire is to heal you a make you whole.

      From a fellow sinner who is saved only by grace.


    • Hi Ashamed Sinner,
      I am humbled by your story because I totally understand what you are going through. My name is Ibra and I was addicted to pornography and masturbation for 12 years before I got the strength to stop and God called me to start an initiative i-Stopped (http://istopped.wordpress.com) to help guys like you to find the strength to beat this bondage.

      The first step is to accept that you are an addict and understand your addiction/bondage. Some say it is so strong it can only be compared to an addiction to cocaine. It is so strong that I once walked for hours till 11pm trying to get out of a vulnerable situation. I have also had the same thoughts and these are stages of this type of addiction, so If i did it so can you man. The evil one is lying to you that you do not have the strength to do this, but God has give you the natural brain tendancy to grow other habits to be able to beat this. You have to resolve today, to determine your success tomorrow. Let me not lie to you, this is a never ending struggle and you have to want it bad enough to stop.

      For me, I started by throwing away all the porn and movies with sexual innuendo, replaced that with gospel music, christian movies, good comedies and sermon dvd’s.

      Through mavuno marathon (that is Mizizi-Ombi-Hatua), i learnt how to heal the wounds that caused me to watch porn and masturbate. I learnt how to make the Lord Almighty my #1 God and not porn and masturbation. God has to be your number one no matter what. I learnt the discipline of prayer and fasting (this was very key), and dealing with the issue at thought level. Pray that God helps you suppress the feeling till the right time and give you a hunger for his word to heal and set you free. Read the word, even Jesus defeated the enemy by saying it is written.

      And most important, get an Accountability partner, a friend, a pastor, prayer counsellor, any man who you are comfortable sharing the challenge with. Talk about it, as you said confess your sins to each other and you will be healed. Take is one day at a time and never give up even if you fall. Bible also says for there is no condemnation to the ones that are in union with Christ – Romans 8:1.

      Dude you can do it through Christ who strengthens you. Meditate on Roman 6:12-20 everyday and pray Psalms 91 before you sleep and when you wake.


    • Ashamed Sinner,
      My heart wept when i read your blog. I am praying for you right now and i know that the God we believe in and the one you are crying out to will deliver you. Please keep praying, keep believing and keep trusting and you shall prevail.
      Do not surrender.


    • Ashamed, listen to istopped

      Suggestion on things you can do IMMEDIATELY from someone who’s also been there and pulled through by the Grace of Christ:

      1. Notice that it’s a battle for your mind.Notice that your mind rotates around reminding you “how bad i am”, as if it’s a lost cause yet it is not. Your world is subconsciously reduced to a very small space – SELFISH. The battle is not lost. Decide that things have to change. Declare War. After asking sincerely for God’s forgiveness, declare – I am forgiven

      2. Get your attention away from yourself and onto loving your neighbors (- e.g. friends/brothers/sisters/parents/children) especially when your mind is IDLE or tempted. Try to know them better and find out how they are doing – what you can do for them. You may slowly find that the importance you have placed on your problem is too much especially now that you have sought the Lord’s help. You may not recover instantly but you will get there gradually. You may also realize that people have struggled with far bigger issues than yours and they got through it.

      3. Get busy with activities that involve going out – away from computer/phone/TV jobs e.g. if you’re working – visit your customers. if you’re in college – walk around

      4. Get a hobby(or passion) that does not put you near the temptations; including that thing that you had tried the other time but didn’t work out.

      5. Take an audit as you pray in the evening. Leave all of today’s baggage at the Lord’s feet.


    • thekenyannutcase Says:

      my prayers go out to you that you may experience the freedom in Christ whom we profess. i may not fully understand your problem but i think your saying your too horny or have lust issues???

      i have some thots that may help.

      1) marriage can help for horny-ness (lust of the flesh).though i know marriage is not a solution to an addiction eg if your smoke b4 you get married you will smoke when married. but the bible says it is important to marry than burn in lust(1cor7). jesus also said being a eunuch/celebate is not for all(Mat) so he knows human beings have sexual passions. so trust God for a spouse whom you’ll satisfy and vice-versa.

      2) for the the lust of the eyes… watching porn… hapo hakuna otherwise.just watch something else. there is nothing new about sex being marketed under the sun.

      3) to stop masturbation-try reverse psychology-where in the bible does it say it is wrong?no where. you can only find an indirect verse to this answer.eg
      >>>”everything is permissible” but not everything is beneficial “everything is permissible” but i will not be mastered by anything<<<.

      hence indirectly if masturbation masters you, you are sinning. again in Romans it says "whatsoever is done without faith is sin." therefore if you believe you are sinning by doing it so it is.

      in summary here is a psychological help "masturbation is okay as long as you are not obsessed to do it or obsessed to stop doing it"


    • Ashamed sinner,

      I like what one Lady said… that is not the label or tag that describes you. That you are a child of the most High God is not in dispute except in your mind. God does not make mistakes. This has brought you much regret, disbelief, shame and guilt and these hang on you like a millstone around your neck. sounds to me like you have some serious hurts that you are dealing with. Like somewhere in your life, you have been handled in less-than-happy ways, were laughed at, abandoned, experienced rejection and that led to self-doubt, perhaps self-hate? To the point of knowing that something is wrong and does not honor you or God who created you yet going ahead to kind of say “See… here is proof. i am no good”.

      I have been to that place and the only way i can describe it is as ugly. and yet each time driven to go back. A bit like knowing i am standing in sewage – it really stinks!, i know it will make me sick and yet here i come again. the only way i could get over this was undignified in the pleading and crying out to God! He’s the only one who really knew what it was all about; what i had been about; what i had been through; He’s the only one who had watched me take my first step down that slimy slippery road. Only He could sort me out. I have learnt to apply a test to the thoughts in my mind before i will dwell on them. i say God would never tell me that i am hopeless, useless or any of that. Then someone shared a porion of Scripture that tells me to make every thought captive to obey the Lord Jesus. Now those thoughts of shame, guilt, feeling unloved, thoughts of how unworthy hopeless uselss i am DONOT pass this test and i have learnt to say a prayer and shrug them off.

      Any way you look it, ni Yeye tu. Only He can sort you out. He will do this direct and through His people.

      So like a good number of people have said, pray and seek God to shine a light for you and to raise up the person or people who will walk with you, they will not judge you. They will be used of and by God to minister to you so that you would heal and be delivered from that terrible burdening yoke.

      For me, He gave just enough light for the step i was on and i began to learn what it means to trust Him, that i matter and am important to Him. Am i there yet in trusting Him? No, not by a long shot but each day that i go through doubt, i speak with my Father in heaven and He has had some interesting ways of speaking to me and bringing me to a place of healing. Music helped me heal. soak yourself in it and hear God speak to you in the tune, in the words, Many times, He brought me to tears in feeling just how much He loves me.

      Dietrick Haddon’s song, He’s able, goes something like
      Above all, all you can ask from him
      According to, the power
      That worketh in you

      God is able to do just what he said he would do
      He’s gonna fulfil every promise to you
      Don’t give up on God, cause he won’t give up on you
      He’s Able


    • @ Ashamed sinner, test the spirit, if it not right and from God, command every thought and make it obedient to God, don’t listen to this ideologies that Masturbation is right. Its like saying smoking is ok despite its addictive nature. Let your encouragement be from 1 Cor 6:12-20…

      @ Thekenyannutcase,
      What do you mean “masturbation is okay as long as you are not obsessed to do it or obsessed to stop doing it” I get so angry sometimes listening to opinions like yours, but I thank God because I am out of that place. At the end of the day, you know what is in the bible , you know the truth, so its your choice! I pray that God reveals to you the truth.


    • thekenyannutcase Says:


      anger is good.it shows you have passion.i mean just that. there is nowhere in the bible that DIRECTLY says it is wrong. hence you can only find an INDIRECT answer. and don’t imagine that the people in the bible days did not know how to masturbate.

      my statement is borrowed from the verse in eccl that says “avoid all extremes” “do not be over righteous nor be over wicked.” hence to avoid being legalistic we speak the truth in love, that an obsession BOTH WAYS is wrong/sin.

      but am ready to be enlighten, show me a verse in the bible that says masturbation is wrong.about smoking, that is a totally different subject with totally different verses eg sorcerers in the bible days used to get high. and the bible condemns all forms of witchcraft practice.


  5. Hi pastor M. Yesterdays sermon was specifically mine. I have been praying and trusting God for a spouse but i just realized that i have a lot to learn. Thanks for the Master-Mission-Mate. I really learn t a lot. All questions i had about dating a guy who is not saved were all answered. I have changed the way i think and i am trusting God for a husband. Having been saved recently pastor i must confess that many of my friends are not saved. Can we have programs in church where singles are actively involved so that we can interact and know each other? This way we will meet saved people and learn each other.


  6. Pastor M, I missed your sermon Sunday. I was understudying in mizizi and then I had to leave for a mission. However, I was briefed on the sermon. My relationship is now basically over. My boyfriend says his priorities are his work, school, lifegroup then me. Master, Mission, mate. Now i’m disillusioned. He says his mission (lifegroup) comes before me and it will remain so. I was his girlfriend before we did mizizi. I was his girlfriend before he was chosen as a lifegroup leader but now he says mission first; Is this the way it should be or am I the one who has it all wrong? Is this how it should be? Am I so wrong to expect to be as important to him? Am I living in a fantasy world or is this the reality of life? Cant there be a balance somewhere? Its life group first then me. He will put his time, effort and everything into lifegroup first then me. Is this what your teaching meant? I now don’t want anything to do with lifegroup and I don’t want to blame you for your teaching. Please help me. I am hurting and have reached the end of my road.


    • Hey Candid. I attended service and I can assure you that that was not the message being passed across. The message basically talked about aligning our search for the right spouse with God’s purpose for our lives. As for your relationship, I remember a speaker who earlier gave us the correct order: God, spouse, family, work, etc… Basically God should come first (Matt 6:33) for both of you, and it’s not to say that lifegroup=God.


    • @ Candid,

      I understand the position you are in; the pain and betrayal you feel because of being relegated to number 4. It should not be the end of your road. Remember that he is just man and should never be your focus, God should be the focus of your life. Could it be that maybe you made him your life and now you are at cross roads?

      Take time and pray and look inside. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you and show you what he requires you to do at this point in your life. Am sure that there is something that God is trying to bringing out for both of you in this situation. You will come out stronger and wiser no matter how this vibe goes. You are complete in God and there is nothing that can change that. You gon make it for sure.

      Am praying with you.


  7. … an interesting thought, it seems to me ‘singlehood’ is a good concept – not a fraction, or decimal – whole! Perhaps that’s why in God’s eyes even when you get married it says ‘The two become one (single,whole)’


    • millionaire Says:

      Hmmmm…That’s a powerful thing! That God intends for us to be a complete unit in Him and even in marriage he wants it the same way. Thanks for that 🙂


    • thekenyannutcase Says:

      great thought.always complete!!!

      here is another thought.if we are too picky about how our spouse is to be, hence are single for a long time and you want to get married, be humble enough to be arranged for.then love your spouse.isn’t love a decision?an act of the will then the emotions follow the decision?


    • I like the way you think…


  8. dota of zion Says:

    @ Ashamed sinner,

    I do not have the right words to encourage you,but just know that you are a child of God if u have believed in your heart and confessed with your mouth.The lord is willing and able to sort you out.Christ died for all sins and weakness and this is one of the many.

    All of us struggle with something and no one can say that their sins are better than others.Am glad that you have shared this on the blog, i want you to take the next step,share with a pastor.am sure someone is willing to walk with you through this. No one is perfect enough to judge you beside this you have many stregths.Dont care what people think about you,this is between you and God. David was a ‘man after Gods heart’ , not because he did not sin but when he did what he did not care that he was a king and a spiritual leader.All he cared for is what God felt about his sins.God in turn gave him favour even with men. He was ready to be cleansed by God using hyssop which was a painful experience.Saul on the other hand was more concerned about what people thought of him and his position.God forsook him and men did not like him either.

    For now,i will pray and fast for you.I know he able and willing.I dont judge you and would not mind serving with you,and being served by you .I know God will use you to accomplish great things and so this is the right time to have God sort you .You are an overcomer , and you will sail through this through Christ who is strengthening you.

    Praying with you.


  9. Hi- Please upload the Audio version of the sermon- the one on ustream ends before the sermon begins. Those of us in ministry look forward to listening to sermons online as it isnt possible on sunday.


  10. You know I always wonder whats the big deal about getting married. Some of those who are wish they weren’t and those who aren’t wish they were, so, once again whats the big deal? I am not married but I understand the desire to get married, especially when you are fast aproaching 30 and all the men around are not marriage material and all the people start hinting that the clock is ticking away, so what? I think most ladies think that life will be so much better once they get hitched, which is sometimes the case but in most cases, especially for christians, it does not come out that way, and what they have read in fairy tales and other fora proves to be such a disappointment for them.

    What most people need to remember is that as the sermon went – Master-Mission-Mate (though I wonder whether mate ought to be really there)- that should be the order of things. I like what Changing has stated – most of the biblical ladies met their spouses while they were serving the Lord and going on about their life’s work, same goes for the men. So if we can stop focusing on who is not married and why (there must be something wrong with her is the general conclusion), then we can focus on growing the kingdom of God and doing God’s business, after all, thats why we are here, not to get a spouse.
    So, for those whose sole purpose is to engage in a ministry so as to eventually land a spouse, I would urge you to check your motives once more, since God looks at the heart and you will be thoroughly disappointed.


  11. Thank you Pastor M for the re-affirmation. I always thought that “must marry to be complete” was an old school thought and am surprised that it still goes on even in the modern urban society. I went thru similar times which included thoughts such as marriage took place according to sibblings heirarchy at birth i.e. first come marries first etc. Many a times tensions rose because I did not advocate for this and at some point argued that in case one went into catholic priesthood what would happen to the siblings after. The sermon has clarified this and another lesson learnt is that as human beings we tend to be wise or all knowing without seeking God first and as a result waste a lot of time on irrelevant things that do not uplift God or members of His family. May God forgive us and give us wisdom and knowledge of his will for us.


  12. When will the audio be out? Was really looking forward to learning more … 😦


  13. Hi pastor M. The Sunday sermon was an eye opener for me. I was one of the ladies who went to KICC to try and find a solution on how to get a spouse . I am saved and 31 yrs old. There has been so much pressure on me from family and friends to get married because of my age. As a result i have found myself constantly comparing myself with other people and always complaining about my situation to the extent that i was ready to marry any man (saved or not saved) who proposed to me. But i thank God for the sermon cause i realized that i have a lot to learn. Life is not just about being born, getting married, having children then dying. Master-Mission-Mate is the way to go. I also remember the statement “enjoy your status and live it to the maximum”.
    I’m so encouraged and have resolved to enjoy my status to the full and not allow myself to be distracted. In fact on Monday i bought myself some lovely night dresses which is something i have taken for granted for a long time since i usually sleep in some ugly t-shirts because nobody can see me. I even had coffee with my galfriends after work and we had fun and laughed a lot.
    Thank you and God bless.


  14. Dear Ashamed Sinner,

    The angels in heaven rejoice over you. The Word says we overcome the devil by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. You sharing your story is the first step to overcoming the devil … I thank God for the outpouring of love and support since you posted your story. Now that you have taken the first step, please do not stop there. If you need to talk further please respond to Ibra (someone who understands the struggle but overcame by God’s grace) and you guyz can hook up.

    You are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus … Please go on and take step number 2 and resolve to put the devil where he belongs … under your feet that is! Go on brother!!!


  15. Kindly please post the audio so we can enjoy it before Life Group discussions tomorrow?

    Thanks for the good job guyz!


  16. I am also not sure where to start. This past Sunday I could not make it to Mavuno Central but made it to Mavuno Mashariki for the very first time. The congregation is smaller as compared to belle vue but the fellowship was wow…
    The sermon was not one to be missed as it went ahead to address a subject that is not widely spoken about in our churches. I guess therefore it is for us to live our God Purpose, single or married without feeling lost on whether or not completeness comes with getting married.

    I now appreciating having Mavuno campuses in different parts of the city. This city will surely be transformed by fearless influencers in these congregations.


  17. in all Honesty, the sermon had relevance. I liked the whole panelist agenda and treatment. Without getting personal, I liked the way Phyillis got her thoughts out. The practical and real christian lady I think should speak… bravia!

    However, I see my life beyond sunday where am charged up, fire spitting, demon chasing on my way to heaven. Sadly i tend to be like that more often. All Jesus dressed and relationships revolve around Jesus…. Yaaay! i feel Jesus. (does this sound like most of my christian brothers and sisters?)

    the fact that we now have our Master-Mission-Mate sorted, i still believe that our lives should be real.

    For example. I now realise that it’s relevant for me to know whether the person am about to date or dating listens to the BBC. Otherwise, we all know where this convo will go if Kiss and Classic radio is in her Playlist.

    In other words….. There’s life past sunday….


  18. Last born gal Says:

    I missed church last sunday (why are Christians hypocrites) and it felt soo refreshing to be back sunday. I loved the sermon! Pastor M and the panel, Kudos!! This was my first time to hear of Master, Mission, mate and the message was spot on!!!One thing Pastor M said stuck with me n I cant seem to get the image out of my mind. He said If we are all in a circle and everyone is chasing the one in front of them, then no one catches the other! Maybe its time to stop and look at the person chasing you!! I just thought of something funny…then we will all start running in an anti-clockwise direction but we r back in the circle 🙂


  19. Im glad to know i’m not alone in singlehood! that sermon showed me that i have my priorities all wrong: for me its master-mate-mission. I now know the correct order thanks to pastor M and the Committee of Experts (hehe). I also want to encourage all the single ladies out there not to succumb to pressure and date or marry an unsaved guy… it wont work. trust me i tried that a few months ago and i didnt work. instead it drew me farther away from God and filled me with guilt shame and remorse. instead, seek ye first the kingdom of God and all those things shall be added unto you……..


  20. …still awaiting the long promised audio…thanks! 🙂


  21. hi thanks for the message it was really deep.am single and hiv positive can i get someone or am i lost


  22. Hey guys!

    the sermon on singlehood was fantastic.I’d like to find out more about the ladies’ program that the beautiful lady in red (sorry i didn’t get her name) in the panel was talking about. I’d really like to start mentoring young girls particularly in high school and college /university but i feel that i need to first be mentored in such a program. Kindly, if any of you has any infromation regarding that please let me know.Any help accorded me will be highly appreciated.

    God Bless you all!!


  23. PK – The ladies programme run by Laimani is called ALABASTRON. Simply put, it is life-changing … The new season was actually starting this week so you are still on time to sign up. It runs for 12 weeks … For further info please call 0721 382 222 or email: talktous@alabastron.org

    This is the best thing I have ever done for me …

    Go ahead and sign up! You will be so glad you did …

    God bless,


  24. Hey Linda,

    Thank you so much for that.will give you a call later on.


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