Dressed To Kill
Why do good women turn bad?
- Learned behavior & Media – instinctive, socialized at home & society what we watch, listen to and read.
- Abuse & woundedness – verbal, emotional, sexual & dad/mum wounds.
- Men – take advantage of women.
- Insecurity & desperation.
- Companionship & affirmation.
There are at least 4 faces of a Bad Girl;
- The Smart Seducer
- The Manipulative Schemer
- The Wicked Jezebel
- The Domineering Independent
THE SMART SEDUCER – Potipher’s Wife (Genesis 39)
For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is as smooth as oil. (Proverbs 5:3, NLT)
Don’t lust after her beauty. Don’t let the coy glances seduce you. (Proverbs 6:25, See also Proverbs 7)
THE MANIPULATIVE SCHEMER – “Man has his will, but woman has her way” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
THE WICKED JEZEBEL – “The rooster may crow, but the he delivers the goods” – Ann Richards
THE DOMINEERING INDEPENDENT – Matthew 27:55 – 57; 28:1 – 9
Self Enslaves, Love Sets Free!
Missed the LIVE! Online @ 9.00 AM & 12 PM of todays sermon on Ustream.TV, check out the video archives on the link below;
Blog.Mavuno 
April 12, 2010 at 10:12 am
Pastor S your sermon touched me and i wondered how i have contributed to the Faces of a bad girl.My husband has really wounded me through words.He told me am a manipulative schemer,pretender and a hypocrite .This words have really hurt me so much and you mentioned a manipulative schemer in the four faces of a bad girl.It hit me so hard because have been seeking GOD to reveal to me What do i do unknowingly to deserve such statements.
I have analysed myself and checked on why good women turn bad?Apparenty i picked desperation and insecurity which i identified with.My husband started business out of town and we drifted emotionally being an agressive woman i found out he was cheating on me.
I desperately treated him like a KIng when he came home ,since he wasn’t feeling me anymore he used to come home late to avoid me.I needed to be loved and i felt rejected i would do everything to please him i prayed fervently and told GOd to restore my marriage and to forgive me and to close the doors that have opened for the devil to gain a foothold in my maariage.
I fasted and prayed this is when the war began i asked God to give me wisdom to talk to my husband and find out what is happening.Before he left town i textd him a polite text to try and find out why he has been cold
.He responded and told me our emotion connection died long time ago and i choose to pretend things were alright as USUAL because of my selfish reasons.
I read the text and tears dropped .I didnot gave up i told him i was not pretending i was trying to make things work.He confirmed my fears and told me we have tried sorting things out and when they stabiize i revert to my know self……He suggests a break…….I CRIED AND FELT NO ONE LOVES ME ……
This is after praying and humbling myself before GOD and asking him to hear my prayers …
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April 12, 2010 at 10:39 am
Pastor S i was insecure and desperate to be left alone and unkowingly i guess that why my husband told me am a manipulative schemer when i tried to please him instead of finding out the root cause of our emotional disconnection.I love him genuinel,have forgiven him for the hurting statements and words
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April 12, 2010 at 10:52 am
Such a timely sermon series…thanks pastor S for breaking it down.
To all the sisters May the Lord keep revealing the dark areas in our lives that we need to tottally surrender and seek His forgiveness for His love is so amazing.
Was deeply touched by the three ladies who boldly shared thie testimonies…U are no doubt overcomers and your testimony ministerd tm my heart.
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April 12, 2010 at 11:28 am
I watched the sermon on tv and i’m so scared of what i’ve become. from a Godly gal to all 4 women mentioned in the sermon. i’m not sure i want to change, it’ll be toooooo hard to make that decision to walk in that narrow path again. I don’t know why i’m even posting this but if there’s hope for a bad girl, there’s hope for me.
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April 12, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Pastor, it was awesome.bad girls are there but they dont know why they do that.they make people wounded without knowing.once i was a victim but i forgave her because i understood her personality.As i sat there during the sarmon i felt that i was starting to know more about this wonderful people God gave us.Thank you pastor S,God shower you with blessings because you are lighting the way for all,the affected and the victims.
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April 12, 2010 at 2:25 pm
@bad girl – it is possible to change. For as long as you try and change on your own strength, it will be hard. Too hard. However, if you ask God to change you he will! Open yourself to the love of God and the Grace of God, and watch him change you until no-one will even be able to recognize the old you! In Christ nothing is too hard, nothing is impossible. He did it for me, he can do it for you. Imagine yourself as a woman who everyone respects because of her character. A lady, dignified, charming, God fearing, role model to others. There is a happy fulfilling life ahead of you, take it!
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April 12, 2010 at 3:47 pm
Hi!!
I truly enjoyed the sermon.I have been brought up in a christian family, and most of the time i have been the ‘good gal’.I believe that a man should initiate a relationship. The only thing I struggle with is my role when it comes to a man that im attracted to.I struggle with the example of Ruth in the bible…I keep wondering whether she seduced Boaz for her example is often used in christian circles.
My question is, when im interested in a man, for clear intentions of a relationship and not to hurt him,what is my role?should i just sit and wait silently in prayer about my feelings for him?like Ruth did,what is appropriate?
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April 14, 2010 at 9:54 am
@ Mimi, good to know I’m not the only one who still upholds the school of thought that a dude should initiate relationships! I prefer to be the hunted; too much work being a hunter 🙂 So I can identify with you when you say you struggle with your role when it comes to a man you are attracted to… What to do? Shout it from the roof tops in his hearing? Hire a muezzin to scream it out in song from the mosque near his house? Blatantly spill it out? Leave a note on his windscreen? The options are many (even for me) yet somehow, I can’t bring myself to doing it! And it doesn’t help that men are soooo slllooooowwwwww in speaking their heart!
Well, my two cents is this: if you are interested in a guy (and I presume you have had a bit of a friendship going, however long it has lasted) then there are subtle ways of letting him know you are available and equally keen on progressing to another level…. Of course, when there is an opportune moment in which he hints about what he feels, I guess your tact and wit come in and you will know what to say.
That’s just my take. I’m not “an authority” on this, seeing that I don’t even KNOW how to catch male hints, so you might want to hear what other ladies think 🙂
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April 14, 2010 at 2:39 pm
just meet and hang out with the guy.
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April 19, 2010 at 3:26 pm
i may not be the almighy on this topic but my school of thought follows that the man should ask me out…i may show my interest but not ask the guy out(not coz am proud )adam woke up and found eve, he praised God for giving him a helper made from his rib,proverbs says ‘he who finds a wife finds a good thing’, also ‘a wife of noble character who can find’…i take all that to mean that in essence the man finds the woman,apart from that a man is also an initiator in his home,this is his first act of showing initiative(taking his role) as it is also your first act of submission.and by the way whoever said ‘when a man wants you he will come for you no matter which way he will use’ was very right. (shyness is no excuse,shy men have their ways of initiating a relationship they may noy get right to you but they wiill get there).by the way how many times in the bible did a man find a woman then marry her? almost always the thing about ruth and Boaz…subject to further analysis.for me taking the step to show interest is very much ok but initiating a relationship for me spells trouble in the initiation-submission roles later on in marriage(it does not always happen but yes chances are there.when a man wants you he will come for you,no lie about that.this is just my opinion,but i hope av given you something to think about…
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April 12, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Hey Pastor and Mavunites! first off, Thanks Pastor for the sermon on Sunday cant wait for the rest of the series. I actually relate because I have witnessed this behavioural traits with most of my friends and relatives and was a victim at work sometime last year when a colleague could like stab my back and I even lost my job then.Prayers always work on such issues, en sometimes walking away, I had to leave my friends behind when I gave my life to Jesus. Preach on! and all the best my sisters: Remember, Jesus loves you no matter how stained your clothes are..see you SUNDAY!!
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April 12, 2010 at 4:00 pm
@Bad Girl, I agree with Reformed Bad Girl, you can change, but not by your own strength. It starts with a decision to change; a decision to lose those numbers you call and perhaps even change yours, a decision to move house, to lose some friends, to become a loner in God’s presence. To start from scratch LITERALLY. And then to find new friends that you can be accountable to, if you haven’t already done it, can I encourage you to try Mizizi, it’s the quickest most effective way to get a new crop of friends who are struggling just like you are and who will not condemn you, and at Mizizi you will also find Jesus and begin your walk into Good Girldom.
I’ve been there, and I’m a long way away from my bad girl days. I was the definition of a true P.L.A.Y.E.R. I though men had nothing on me when it came to playing. I don’t even consider myself that ‘hot’ but I got every man I wanted, including those belonging to other women. I didn’t do it for money or to pay the bills. I did it to be loved or so I thought. And the moment I didn’t feel love and appreciated, I moved on to the nearest man. I was so empty, but God filled me. I never have to look for love in all the wrong places again, because I live within the Love of the Almighty which never runs dry.
I actually came here to share about my Mother wound which runs so deep, I for the first time in Mavuno ALMOST broke down wailing at the immense pain I feel. Especially when the Mother spoke and asked for forgiveness. I wanted her to stop, because I cannot fathom letting go of the pain my Mum caused me. I’ve hidden it so deep inside that bringing it up and out would take…. all of me. My Mum was so harsh, besides the crazy beatings, was the name-calling. I’ve never forgotten being called a prostitute, being told I was “D” material, the insults were insane! Growing up we actually referred to our Mum as Idi Amin. Till this day, I still fear her and I’m 30years old. She hurt all of us so deeply, the first opportunity we had to leave her house, we did. And my elder siblings have never returned. Last seen in 1996. I know it hurts her. And I know she did the best she could under the circumstances. And I’ve always said that I can’t blame anyone but myself for how I turned out, but on Sunday I realized that perhaps, I need to consider forgiving her. Lord help me as I deal with my Mother wound.
Bless you Pastor Simon.
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April 20, 2010 at 10:38 am
what a moving story miss piggy… it touched the core of my soul. i had a good mother but i have an auntie who is inflicting the same mother wound as what you experienced to her daughter. true to my aunt and her husband’s words, my cousin ended up performing so poorly in school and now she got a baby and run away with a man to nanyuki. my relatives say they understand why she had to run away and sort of applaud her. but i know my cousin does all this due to the deep hurts within her from childhood. i pray one day God may heal her
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April 12, 2010 at 4:46 pm
I got a guy to leave his girlfrend for me just as a game…like “I can get your man”.I infact used to call him my projeKt with a K.Things got beyond my control and we got a handsome baby boy.But we are not together though he would like us to marry.I reformed once my son was born.I am now a GOOD GIRL but i am afraid to commit to him since he knows my bad past (sleeping around,drinkng) and my initial intentions were not good.
I liked the sermon.
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April 12, 2010 at 7:03 pm
Pastor S I hear of people saying that they sometimes go to church and the sermon was directed at them. Well roundi hii it was me. what u did was desribe me from head to toe.I was a concotion of all four women. I even have a book on seduction that i used to use n it used to work. I would select i guy that most thought was ungettable n using seduction i would get him then dump him once he proves getable coz the chase was over n thats what i live. With manipulation i got my father to favour me even more than he favoured my mum.It was nothing sexual but i just knew how to pump his ego like agree on everything he said or come up with better ideas than he did. I can also relate to the wicked woman because of my immorality. For those who know me the first thing they would tell is that i am controlling n infact my mantra is my way or no way.
So u can imagine how alarmed i was when u kept describing me…i even got stomach cramps coz of this.
Fortunately i have since reformed but thats only because nothing excites me anymore. i fear that i have only relaxed coz of lack of opportunity although i pray alot for God to change me. I dont believe i can change tho coz its so eched in me that its like a disease i have learnt to live with.
Mavuno keeps the beast in me calm but i wonder what will happen when i dont have mavuno around me. i fear myself and what i can do. i need guidance.
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April 12, 2010 at 7:27 pm
@misspiggy…i like miss piggy too. nway reading thru ur post i wud like to tell i have done all those things.dropped friends hadi now i have no friends that i can actually relate with. my only true friend is a muslim bbt still were not thaat tight coz we cant relate in spiritual matters. the problem is i find friendship alot of work n am kind of an introvert so i am alone in Christ. I have changed my number too soooo many times that at one time i had all the preefixes as in 0722, 0721, 0720…then someone told me or was it me who told myself that that was just a way of running away from my problems rather than facing then. honestly i would rather run from them. but i cant even run coz i have met some of the men in mavuno n trust me it just is not good.
i am encouraged that u were once where i am n if u came out of it then i guess there is hope. i havent had the time to go thru mizizi but i will at the end of the year. one problem i need to get thru is that i need to realize that my behaviour was heartful coz currently i feel that none of them got heart n infact they hurt me.
I cannot relate to the story about ur mum but all i can tell u is that u should look at ur past not as a negative experience but an opportunity to grow. this can only happen if u bring out the issues within u even if they will take all of u then deal with them. one thing i rejoice about ur experince is that ur kids r going to have the best mother in the whole world because u know the pain of having a mum who hurts her kids. Forgive her and honour her not because u want to but because it is ur duty to. take it step by step n constantly seek Gods guidance through his word.
I wish i could take my own advice
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April 14, 2010 at 9:44 am
Best Gal Turned Worst, I completely understand where you are right now. I’ll give you back your own advice. Take things step by step and constantly seek God’s guidance through his word. If I can do it with my mother wound, you can definitely do it for yourself. God WILL change your story. I cannot wait to hear your testimony. Please do not give up on yourself, and don’t give up on God, because He won’t give up on you. Even when you think you’ve done the lowest, most ugliest thing, you are still His child. And He loves you, more than you can think or imagine. He loves you.
God will change your story. God will change your name from Best Gal Turned Worst to His Beloved.
Praying for you.
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April 12, 2010 at 9:54 pm
Hey,
where 2 begin. Yes i called myself messed up coz thats how i feel. Got saved 4 yrs ago was a mess… Sleeping around, drinking, abortion you name it.
4 years later. Its tough. Done mizizi, done ombi.. God’s been good 2 me. Sadly whenever i’m down and spiritually off, there’s a man involved and more often than not sex. I was recently pg but lost the baby.
I’ve made my peace with God bt still feel like crap. My heart aches coz i feel i have a knack 4 messing up. I truly dont get it… Am i a bad gal for life?
I’m not crazy like i used 2 be but right now..i hate myself n my life. I thought i’d have done better.
How will i ever become a woman worth fighting for?
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April 13, 2010 at 4:51 pm
@ Messed Up:
I feel your pain. The frustration of getting back to the same thing. Have been there, and let me just say that God is able to deliver you..Let me pray for you:
” Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus, i bring your child before you today knowing that you love her as your own daughter.
Father you know of her pain, her fear that maybe this is how things will always be.
Right now i want to refute any accusations of the enemy against her in the name of Jesus.
I declare that she is not messed up because you O Lord look at her as righteous in Jesus Christ. There is no condemnation for those who are in you Lord.
I pray Father that you will deliver her from the oppression of the enemy in the name of Jesus. Set her free gracious Redeemer that she will be free to live an abundant life in you.
I pray that she will know who she is in you. And if there be any stronghold that keeps pulling her back Lord i pray that you will reveal it to her and by your grace bring down such stronghold.
Minister to her Jesus that she will know of your love-intimate and unconditional. In Jesus name we pray.Amen”
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April 12, 2010 at 10:03 pm
Miss Piggy, I relate to your pain about the Mother wound. Like you it was hard to listen to Mrs Mugambi’s apology on behalf of mothers who have hurt their children. I am a first born gal and growing up, Mum terrorised me. She was a perfectionist and even though I excelled in school often topping my class it was never good enough and always found something to critique. I was often punished for my siblings misdemeanours and by the time I was a teenager hated kids till my mid-thirties. Till today, my Mum has a shopping list of expectations and no matter what you give her she never says thank you. My Mum does not believe in complementing any good deed or expressing love.
Yet, despite all the pain my Mum has caused me, I am glad to report I have forgiven her. Going through Ombi last year, I realized the Devil likes to keep us in chains by the things we hold on to. Bitterness and unforgiveness were my thorns in the flesh and I finally surrendered them to the Lord at the cross. I AM FREE!!! I am learning to love myself and others and unlearn bad habits that I had formed as coping mechanisms (manipulation, independent streak, withholding love).
Do you realize by refusing to forgive her you pick up some of the bad habits that have made her hurt you and continue the cycle? Stop the cycle of bondage in your family. Please consider forgiving your Mum, it will benefit u first. As Pastor S. says some women hurt others because they were wounded and don’t know how to break the chains that keep them in Bondage.
I have not yet won the race, but I am learning to Honour my Mum in spite of herself, as it is the Lord’s command. She’s a Christian and my prayer is that the Holy Spirit would cause her to realise the pain that she has wrought on my siblings and I.
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April 14, 2010 at 9:40 am
Hi Chica,
Thank you for responding. It’s not that I’ve refused to forgive her really, I just never thought I needed to forgive her till Sunday. I understood her intention wasn’t to hurt us, it’s just that she was doing what she knew best. I am a mother and sometimes I do things out of ignorance. I’ve had to sign up for parenting class to learn how to train my daughter out of love and not out of desperation. Now though, I know that I should talk to her and forgive her. And pray that my daughter grows up in love. God bless You.
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April 13, 2010 at 12:54 pm
to all the ladies sharing on this blog…and to the others who are reading..Jesus loves u..he saved me..he is the lover of your soul..the one you have searched for and yearned for all this time..hes waiting for you to take his hand and walk with him into your true purpose and destiny…the devil looks at you the crown of Gods creation and he seeks to destroy u..submit to Jesus..he is your Savior your HEALER and your friend..If you let hims he will free you from the chains that have held you captive and rescue your from the devils evil claws..fear not for there is no sin to big that can separate us from the love of Christ.
Romans 8;38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love-NLT.
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April 13, 2010 at 1:04 pm
God is doing a great job in our lives,He has the power to change people,been they too,but done mizizi,and am now in a strong L.G its hard but having people who r walking wit you its possible.
my sisters am with you in pray.
God bless you Pastor S.
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April 14, 2010 at 10:47 am
Keep going on Changing…
The lord who started this work is faithful and able to bring it to completion,
In your life He will complete His mission,
The battle has already been won.
Take His full armour and hold on.
When He said it is finished He meant it all,
That he conquered Hell so you wont fall,
This is where we have our victory,
Walking with and sharing History
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April 13, 2010 at 2:53 pm
This song just does it for me and it connected with the first message of this sermon series. Gals – We fall down but we get up – keep going back to the cross and dont ever give up – one day you will have wings to fly, as long as he knows the desires of your heart and you are genuine he will come through for you……. His Grace is sufficient …..
Thank you Pst. S. Barikiwa
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April 13, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Yani Sunday serice was just the bestest!!
Did you guys hear the band…..waaaa…God bless you guys,,,for real you got me to a place of Praise and Adoration for the most high!!!
The sermon just got some skeletons out of my closet…I always thought I was a good gal…kumbe I have traits of a bad gal that has potential to come out…I am just praying and asking God to preserve me!
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April 13, 2010 at 6:58 pm
@ the ladies who’ve shared, those reading and those who will read/share- Jesus loves us!!! He loves us so much. He sought out the woman at the well. For me, she’s a reference point when things get too thick. I’ve been her, lived her life, enjoyed it and even shared *(read taught) others on how to be her, they called me the Queen Bee! I felt like anytime my promiscuous ways were found out, guys out there learnt who I really was, not the pretty, picture perfect little gal I led them to believe in, it felt like the woman at the well,being brought before the “council of elders” so they could stone me to death!
The only difference now is the stones come out whenever you are anywhere you can count more than one man you’ve slept with, even right here in Mavuno!!!!! Its not pretty, trust me, worse off now that I’m married.
But I’ve turned my pain, shame and hurt into positive energy, speaking to young ladies, those who ask, can anybody hear me? those who like me back then, are currently all four faces of the bad gal rolled into one. But I tell them they are turning into women worth fighting for!
I believe that’s who I became when Christ turned me around and then gave me a man who constantly reminds me that I am indeed worth it all. May Christ alone wipe your tears, you’ve not gone too far, you’ve not done it all & died, you are alive because He has need for you. He needs you to see yourself as He sees you, then tell others that He can turn them around too!
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April 14, 2010 at 9:32 am
@bad girl, @best gal turned worst and @ messed up
Isaiah 61:3 “To all who mourn (are afraid, discouraged or anything you may be feeling) in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning (fear, discouragement), festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory”
May the Lord do to you as he did to Israel – give you a crown of beauty for ashes, joy and praise and may you become an oak of righteousness for the glory of God. He is able! AMEN
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April 14, 2010 at 9:58 am
I haven’t been to church in a month, and much as I LOVE Pastor Linda’s sermons, I just didn’t go to church. When I saw the sermon series topic, I figured I’d church for four weeks and hear what The Woman Worth Fighting For is all about. Well, I was up by 8.50am and tuned in by 9am to the service on Citizen… I was left pondering which woman I am, and I can’t wait for the rest of the sermons so that I know if indeed I AM worth fighting for, and what I need to change, by God’s help and grace, to become that woman Pastor S is talking about.
Looking forward!
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April 14, 2010 at 12:05 pm
I used to know these women……pretty well.
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April 14, 2010 at 12:11 pm
So a couple of months ago I decided that even after series of bad relationships – believe you me, not one has ended well.. that i need to figure out what the problem is, maybe am cursed or something. i prayed to God to guide me and work on me to become a better person, coz how can i want a a good man if i got issues. But even as i try, is it worth it? really is there a good man out there because i have lost hope and faith in men.
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April 14, 2010 at 9:26 pm
Yes, there are good men out there. But first things first. Find yourself and your purpose first and in your purpose he will find you because its useless to be with someone with whom your purposes don’t synchronize as chances are one of you will pull the other backward. Secondly, listen to the following sermons and find out how you can make yourself the best woman you can be thereafter wait to be hunted. Don’t hunt. We women are not hunters, we are to be hunted. Even though it takes longer than we want in this instant world of today just wait, it will be worth the wait. And ofcourse once he starts hunting, give him a run for his life. Make it hard, make him sweat so that once you decide to settle he will remember your worth.
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April 15, 2010 at 1:44 pm
@ Given up, Thanks for sharing. Actually, the truth is that there is a Good God who makes ordinary men good – given the chance. Just a thought – how did it begin? It can end well if it didn’t start well – like for all the wrong reasons. A change of focus – pray and work on you, seek first his kingdom and all these other things – including a good man will be added to you. Praying for you!
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April 15, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Sorry, i meant to say that it CAN’T end well if it didn’t start well – like if for example it started for all the wrong reasons or on the wrong footing.
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April 14, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Sunday was powerful for me, i came to church in a bad mood and angry for so many reasons but i knew that coming for service would definitely brighten my day, and Thank God it did!!
Pastor S was sooo on point that it shocked me, the same thing that im struggling with is what he talked about, just like most of the ladies posting here i realized that i am a perfect combo of the 4 women he was talking about.. i have been struggling with relationships for a long time, using men and sex as a tool to make myself feel better. I honestly do not understand why, i come from a family that loves me to tears yaani they would do anything for me, i ask God why i am the way i am, but i cannot find a reference point to where i can point and say that is where my bad girl habits came from. I love God and try to live the best way i can, but if i meet a man i find attractive you better believe that i will be that smart seducer and will not hesitate to ask him out and the rest is history…
just like ‘given up’, i thought i was cursed to always having married men and men with girlfriends approaching me and never the single ones, saddest part was/is i never have the strength to say no!!!! i cant wait to find out what i need to do to be that woman worth fighting for..
Im in love with a man right now who ive know for a long time but im afraid if he knows what im trully like and what i have done in the past he might run and run fast away from me..
Ladies may God help us all..
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April 15, 2010 at 5:01 pm
Yo are on the right path;seeking God to change your ways because we never can do it on our own. Ask God to show you how to go about this whole change. Know that He has your best interest at heart and His plan is to make you a shining star. Don’t let fear keep you from being your best. Surrender it all to God and he will make you into something so amazing you’ll be in awe. Praying with you all many others that God will indeed make us over.
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April 14, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Pastor S,
You are so gifted, may God bless you to continue ministering ti his people.
I want to share my wounds inflicted to me by mother in law. I’m a Kikuyu married to a Luhya, i married out of love and did not think tribe then. As soon as i settled in my mother in law started to tell my husband that he had to marry from his tribe. She would bring girls to her house with the promise that my husband would actually marry them since she claimed she had never approved of the marriage. This strained our marriage very much since my husband gave in to his mother’s pressures and had an affair and out of the affair a baby was born. My mother in law took upon house at one time to house the lady and the baby, i got to know about it and have never been able to forgive her. I have over the years prayed to God to help me forgive and forget but it has not been possible. I’m still married to him and we have two kids but he also hurt me since he did not stand by his own principles. I still get memories of the past and though my husband repented and said sorry, i have never been able to fully trust him and also completely forgive him.
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April 15, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Wow! Thanks Grace for openly sharing your story – that must have been very painful and hard! If you are willing I would like to spend time to pray with you. Please check with the reception at Church office if/when you are ready. Blessings!
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April 14, 2010 at 9:43 pm
Hey ladies,
I know this is for mamaz but wah! this topic goes strait to my heart. seen quite a number of my good pals, good gals at heart, gone bad, coz of the big-bad world, bad experiences with men, fathers etc.
i am a sweet guy, but went bad coz of the thrill and later dint dare to be nice anymore coz i thot,”if i go out there sweet, some cougar mama will crush my heart, throw it to the ground, and crush it to dust”. and it did happen a couple of times. so then i wud even hook up and dog pre-emptively because i dint wana be the fool caught being faithful to his mama.
what can i say but a quote by Rick Warren: “when you look at the world u get distressed, when you look inside you get depressed, its only when you look to Jesus that you get REST”
Jesus is the answer ladies (and gents who may be reading). a chic pal, who ws the only one who saw thru my bad boy facade told me she dint get why i was bein so bad yet i was so sweet, ati to protect myself; all i needed was Jesus to protect me from the big bad world. and it was so true. Now i am myself: sweet, sensitive, sentimental, coz there is a woman out there for me and i aint gona be bad, nasty, abusive or violent anymore and mess up what God made me to be.
@Given Up, there are good men out there, dont give up on us. just remember, we struggle with alot of the same issues you chics do but we cant talk about them coz of our macho facades, so we die under them….its horrible. @Wangari, duno how to say this but imagine there are men who dont care where you’ve been. Jesus has given them His eyes and so they see you as you really are: the gem, the apple of God’s eye that you truly are. I thank God He gave me those eyes. what im saying is give it a shot. if He leaves, He wasnt meant for you at that time, but who knows, He may just tell you,”baby its ok, i suspected it,but either way,u know what?….i love you and it doesnt matter what you were or what your struggling with or are capable of right now, because together with Jesus, we can work thru this…love overcomes all things”. He may also have a past which he doesnt know how to tell you about and is jus as eager to find someone who wont judge him, someone who knows we are all sinners and fall every so often, someone who knows he is a work-in-progress…
I know this to be the truth, that a true,lasting relationship is one where your will to forgive your loved one when they hurt you is greater than heights of joy and happiness that emotional elation and romance bring.
this can only be accomplished by letting Christ work such a love in your heart, you CANNOT accomplish this by our own effort, or will or strength.
Pastor S, you should also do a series for men, sweet-guys turned bad boys, coz wako wengi i can testify 🙂
God bless you my sisters, you are ALL BEAUTIFUL, don’t let the devil tell you otherwise. more from me soon 🙂
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April 15, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Thank u… U have no idea how encouraging it is to read somthing like that from a guy!!! May God Bless u sana sana n shower u with all his blessings!!!
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April 16, 2010 at 10:28 am
I wont give up. I dont believe God best creation- man was made a failure
.I will keep the faith and keep praying. Thanks for the encouragement. Let us keep praying for each other.
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April 15, 2010 at 2:03 pm
I watched last Sunday’s sermon on Citizen Television. I especially appreciated the moment ‘mum’ as Pator Mbevi called her, asked for forgiveness for on behalf of all the mothers out there who have hurt their children. Its something I always hoped to hear from my own mother but never did. If you could please let her know her words were not in vain.
Thanks.
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April 16, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Greetings all. It is both sad and exciting to read from your stories. Thanks for being soo frank as always. Remember what we said on Easter Sunday: God is rewriting your story. Embrace his love, hang out with his family (other believers) and hope in his power.
God will make you, ladies, the women he fought for and the men, the tender warriors he created you to be.
My prayers and blessings
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April 16, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Pst S,the sermon was amazing.May God bless u and expand ur territories.@ sweet guy-gone bad-gone sweet again thanks to Jesus,it’s really encouraging to know that there are good guys out there.keep encouraging others,God bless
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April 18, 2010 at 10:59 am
Hey, can someone hook me up some help! am a distraught guy…lived with a woman who has left me violent and low self esteemed. i loved her, i still love her…but she wont just get down to understand me. Pastor Simon I relly need to speak with you
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