The Father Wound
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This entry was posted on March 8, 2009 at 11:00 am and is filed under Mavuno Sermons. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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Blog.Mavuno
March 8, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Hi,
I have to say that one thing touched me today during the sermon. I know its not relevant to the topic but i’ll just sema it. Of how we judge others not by saying but in our minds. The way we put off people bcoz we think maybe they’re just not interested in what we have to say. It got me thinking and im working on it.
BTW after Aron spoke i was like there is a good man but when i heard he was getting married soon!!i wasn’t so happy i didn’t even want to clap but its all good. I know God will work things out for me soon.
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March 8, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Hi.today i rly liked the sermon as it touched me to a point it brought tears to my eyes.I’m a 24 yr old lawyer and female who’s had the strongest mother anyone could ask for who’s put me thru sum of the best skools both here and outside Kenya all on her own!why!coz my father abandoned my mom when I was born as he felt he ws tooo young to be a dad.Though my mom has never spoken ill of him I have carried some anger towards the man who fathered me.Fortuntaley,I have not conformed to alll the statistics that say us gals without dads look for love in all the wrong places.infcat all I’ve done is dated responsible men who I let go of coz I feared they’d walk out on me..Luckily God brought a good man into my life who helps me grow everday to trust in him.Pastor S’ own testimony helped me alot.I had not realised I actually needed to forgive the guy as I saw myself as having been wronged as he walked out on me and my mom.I am glad to knw that to call myself a christian means letting go of the hurt of the man who fathered me.He missed out on a good opportunity to see me grow into becoming a future fearless influencer in the field of law.I am planning on starting a mentoring program for gals who’s father were absent coz mymother raised me and nurtured me in a way that reflects God and never seemed to resent my father for walking away,she is the true definition of a proverbs 30 woman.I hope in your coming sermons u willpoint out that although statisitcs say most single parented kids become murderers etc that there are also good crop like me who become lawyers and are cautious in the dating scene and do not go looking for love in all sorts of places coz good strong women raised us to believe good men exist.I trust God has released the anger I felt towards my father though I need to work on ym failing to trust mEN WHO TIRED TO LOVE ME.Please be sure to honour great mothers like mine,coz were it not for her strength I’d not be a strong woman myself.Despite my father wounds I have a Father called God who fulfills all my needs and that has led me all 24yrs of my life!I have God even when my earthly father walked away but I forgive him after standing to day for that prayer.Single mothers may I be a testimony that ur child can grow into something great even when the man walked away coz we have God as our father.If anything I’m grateful that though he walked away I have a friendship and relatiosnhip with my mom that my pals envy!Single mothers u can raised ur kids to knw they have a Father called God.thnx for the great sermons.I have forgiven my father nw for walking out!
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March 8, 2009 at 2:58 pm
it’s wams again…may i point out a positive statistic-obama’s father abandoned him and he still be came a lawyer and a president who he is….I am on my way too to becoming the future female obama of kenya…
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March 8, 2009 at 3:12 pm
its interesting that the father wound. my father was very promiscous when i was young. he would tell me his girlfriends are my aunties and i believed him. he died and my mother; on my 18th birthday told me the kind of person he was. i resented him and vowed to never be like him only to become worse than he ever was. it was until i let go of the pain i bore from him that i was free to begin fresh with a woman i adore and love.
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March 8, 2009 at 3:18 pm
i thank God for all you pastors at Mavuno, you’re truly a blessing to most of us. This is my first time to log onto this site and i’s mainly coz i feel i need to confess. when the pastor asked those with father wounds to stand i did so not for someone else..i pray that God will somehow help my brother forgive our father,though he (my bro-George) never attends church, like his father..
we’ve had an absent father, though he actually moved out when george was 15..unfortunately george was home that night and witnessed as his father packed and left..that i think was the main deep wound not to mention the many nights that man physically abused us……
the second wound was when George was going to be circumcised, do u know it was my mum who took him. for this he hated my dad a billion times and i a zillion times.
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March 8, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Pr S and the whole of the mavuno team, you are a blessing and may the Good Lord bless you. My dad was polygamous and while he was not abusive to me, I know he is proud of me, I really have this deep hatred of him that I dont know how to deal with. This comes from the way he treated my mum, letting her struggle to bring us up as he used his money to chase women around. Well I am working towards forgiving him and realesing him.
May God bless you!
I seriously think Mavuno should start a mentorship program for teens, young men who are being brought up by single women/non avilable dads, e.t.c. Just a thought!
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March 8, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Pastor S i can honestly say that you hit the issue right on the head. I know this service is directed to men but Amen and God bless you. My father is three types passive, controlling and abusive. I did not quite understand what the service was going to be about leo but i am happy i attended. I have so much anger to my dad its unbelieveable. This is a man you cannot please no matter what. I have held my words..(the bad one) and just acted like all is well. Picture perfect father and daughter and hoow i do wish for that.
Another thing that really touched me was that i am a single mum and i have been having hurt towards my daughters father. Today i left all my hurt and gave the Lord my hand, body and heart to guide me.
My dad does not like the fact that i attend mavuno, but i have stuck to it and now i want to tell him am getting baptised and making Mavuno my church, home and family. This i will do and at the same time talk to him and let him know what has been in my heart. Thank you pastor s for opening my heart and eyes. A father means foundation…..that i must repeat to my dad.
Thank you also for being one of the good guys of this war for fatherless homes…when a man can stand and face his fears…he has not only shut down the devil but he has grown up and been a man. Looking forward to next sunday.
Be truly blessed pastor s and bless our men.
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March 8, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Pastor Simon’s sermon hit the nail on the head and reminded me of an article I read and would like to share with everyone…I hope it makes sense
Every Son wants and needs from his father 5 things
1. Time together (quality time!)
2. Life Skills
3. Direction with solid “why?” answers (Deut 6:6-7)
4. Convictions through positive modeling e.g. integrity& integration (1 Thessalonians 2:10-11)
5. Dad’s heart (the good parts mainly!)
In addition to the 5 things every son wants his Father to tell him 3 things
a. “I love you son”
b. “I’m proud of you”
c. “You’re good at……..”
Evidence of this 3 things found in Matthew 17:5 between God (Father) and Jesus (Son)
……………………”this is my beloved son”——I love you
……………………”I take delight in Him”——–I am proud of you
……………………”Listen to Him” —- He’s good at what He does listen
The absent father wound is defined as an ongoing emotional, social or spiritual deficit ordinarily met in a healthy relationship with Dad that must be overcome by other means as outlined above. (the deficit in this statement refers to the hole/anger/excuses/resentment)
Results of the Absent father wound are:
1. Anger and pain (colosians 3:21)
2. Extreme behavior & addiction/obsessions
3. Inner sense of lostness/incompleteness
4. Homosexuality (Fracture with a parent of the same sex)
Proverbs 17:5 – …….”the pride (glory) of sons is their fathers”
All men are in the process of seeking to make sense of why we are the way we are.
Each of us has a story to tell.
Each of us is, to some degree a product of the past (both good and bad)
Each of us is, in some ways, controlled by the past until we consciously and willfully choose to break that control.
EIGHT PROACTIVE REMEDIES FOR THE ABSENT FATHER WOUND
1. If you are a Dad…make sure your son(s) has “the essentials”
“I love you” (Affection)
“I’m proud of you” (Admiration)
“You’re good at…” (Affirmation)
Give your son a manhood vision….and a manhood ceremony that seals it
A code of conduct that YOU live by “that he should live by”
A ‘transcendent cause…’ something to live for other than himself (life is not just about you)
2. If you’re a Dad…it’s never too late to “close the gap” with your son (s) no matter how old
3. If you’re a single Dad, or a Dad separated from your son(s) by divorce, or a Dad who has inherited a son(s) through remarriage, seek help and a sound strategy to overcome the unchartered waters. This could be through your trusted friends who have sons or church group/life group etc etc
4. If you’re a son wounded by Dad…choose to touch this wound responsibly by:
(a) Choosing to forgive your Dad (Heb 12:9-10)
(b) Choosing to believe in God’s justice (Rom 12:19)
5. If you’re a son wounded by Dad…courageously seek reconciliation with your father.
(a) There may be separation between you and your Dad that springs from Dad’s relational shortcomings. Don’t let that stop you!
(b) There may be separation between you and your Dad that springs from past conflicts. You need to clean it up!
6. If you’re a son wounded by Dad..risk asking for your father’s love.
7. If you’re a son wounded by Dad…risk asking for your father’s blessing
Finally…
8. If you’re a son wounded by Dad…reclaim the relationship you missed by becoming a good Dad to your children
Mavuno is definately the place to be for real people with real issues.
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March 8, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Pastor,
I had no idea what todays sermon would be about. But I could swear you were sent to speak to me. I am a 3rd generation survivor of the father wounds curse. My grandfather died 2 years ago. In his lifetime, he was a so pink…he could be described as luminous. He was polygomous..and left the children to have to work to support themselves and him. They did it til the day he drew his last breathe.I never saw a tender moment with any of my aunts or uncles or even my dad. Yet he had been living with us for more than 30 years. In the end…no one except his 1 grandchild shed a tear at his funeral.
My father did alot better than his father before him…he became wealthy, provided for his family the best he could. But as I send this…I am a 27 year old, single mum and the result of one of the many affairs he had. His wife raised me. My mother left me at 4 months, to be raised by a man she herself could no longer stand to be with..because he was a boy. As a father, he was a ghost parent (he appeared and disappeared at will), verbally and emotionally abusive but beyond paying fees and bills, he was passive. My father is now dieing from terminal cancer. My step-brother is 35, he abandoned a woman he had a child with for another woman,who already has a child by another man but he still asks my parents for money. The father of my child,left the country when my daughter was 8months. He was offered a job out of the country. He has never returned and does not support us in any way. He himself was raised by an absent, passive father.
The problem with not knowing better, is when you live long enough in abnormality, you come to believe thats how life should be lived. You reflect the environment you lived in. Pastor, I have given up great men, because their vision, did not fit what I knew. I agree with you totally when you say that a man who lacks purpose is not a man to be with..because now I know better but Lord, it has been such a hard lesson to learn. And I thank God feverishly that I never married..because I now know, I could never live fully and enjoy a commited relationship or marriage before I walk through this valley. I have released and forgiven my father but pastor, the father wounds are leaving scars in us and in our children. I am a living testimony and I bear you witness..3 generations later.
Our fathers and the men in our lives are called to be the covering over the woman..but they have failed to do the one thing God says repeatedly in His word. To love their wives as Christ loved the church and as that man loves himself. God called His daughters to respect and submit to their husbands and the men in their lives. From Genesis to Revelation…God has done one thing that you pointed out from the verse in Malchi…He always told the people what he was going to do and the consequence of their actions, but He always cursed the earth, never his children.
Pastor…I thank you for speaking honestly about this issue. There are not many places you can reveal your pain in this life. But thank God for the church and the annointing that is over you as you lovingly and gently bring healing to wounded daughters and sons. May the love of God and His favor be upon you that you may continue to be a blessing to others.
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March 8, 2009 at 8:01 pm
HEY PASTOR,
I feel that today sermon was in deed meant for me. I seriously have a deep father wound. My dad was it all, and still is. I thought that whne he committed his life to Christ he would somehow change but not at all. My mother worked really hard for me to finish my degree which I had deferred way back in 1999. My dad was so ashamed of me he chased me from the house. we have never talked about this but he really looked away when I needed him most.
I don’t say I hate my dad but today’s sermon showed me that Ido. I did not stand up.. why? well because I don’t want it to heal..I know that sounds harsh but still right now I have a kid of my own and me and her dad are not together. I ensure they have time together and I know he really loves her.
But my dad.. he never encourages my brothers at all. I really hate that. I talk to him once in a while, I had forgiven him but recently when he said bad things about my mum and wasn’t there for my brother I felt really sad and all the emotions came back.
I haven’t taken my daughter to see him because I don’t think he’s a good influence. Pastor please pray for me on this .
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March 8, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Today was my 2nd time to come to mavuno. I didn’t know why l felt such a strong urge to come till l listened to you speak. I cried for a real long while in church,just thinking of some of the pain that l’ve gone through because of father wounds. My family doesn’t talk of the past and it sometimes seems like the abuse of my dad never happened. He’s a changed man today,but l realized l still carry those wounds with me and your sermon made it feel like the wounds were re-visited. I plan to talk to dad but don’t know how to approach him or even what to say. How do you go about this? thanks though for helping me take that step to decide to talk. Your sermon was timely. Bless u!
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March 8, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Today’s sermon was quite moving. I thought I was fine before today but got unpleasantly surprised to know that I have a father wound. My Dad has been there with us all along, but passive on most occasions. I never thought I’d be required to forgive my Dad for anything because my family said “that’s the way Dad is” but I swore that I’d never be like him. As I get older, I see that some of my traits are like his and truly the branch cannot tell the trunk “I don’t need you”. I’ve decided to seek God on this first before speaking to my Dad. I need the healing from the Father and since it is not too late, ask Him to call out the true man in me. I am tired of false masculinity and long to be embraced.
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March 8, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Today,you spoke to me. Thank you.
Never had I forgiven my father for leaving us.
Looking down from heaven he is.
I felt rejected and abandoned.
I yearned for affirmation and love.
I set high standards that could never be met.
I miss him. I accept it . He was my everything through my young eyes.
I look to the future and choose to let go.
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March 8, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Todays sermon was deep and great. It’s truly God’s time for haeling for both ladies and gents. Pastor Simon, may God continue to use you mightily, may his annointing continue to bless you as you bless us.
I am one of the lucky ones. I have a lovely earthly father who together with my mum, brought us up with christian values. He is my earthly hero and makes it easy to relate to my earthly Father, God. My dad has always been available and hands on for all of us siblings. He’s cared for each of us and provided an enabling environment to be the best we can be. He is a man of integrity and a respected leader in his church and the community.
I Thank God for Him and want to tell others that not all men are Pink men. God always has a remnant. There is hope out there. I got a baby at 20yrs, fresh out of school and green in this world, despite the dissappointment it must have been to my parents, both dad and mum were my biggest supporters, encouraging me to go on with my education and loving me through the ugly difficult moments. They continuosly upheld me in prayer. I’ve been married for close to two decades to a wonderful man who’s a great dad to my children including my first one, who’s not his. He’s not saved or a church goer, but he’s definately a blessing to me and many others, a real man who takes his responsibility seriously.
My prayer is that God may heal all with father wounds and change society as forgiveness, love and integrity become our hallmarks- we as christians.
Keep it up Pastor S
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March 9, 2009 at 12:45 am
I can tell that this week the blog will clock 200+ bloggers. Just watch this space.
@Beloved One, Misiko, Tony, AR and most other bloggers.
I SO feel you guys. I can relate to certain aspects of your stories. Basically, I had a “full comprehensive cover” when it comes to Father wounds. I don’t even want to repeat what has been said, but like Nakumatt, in terms of these wounds and terrible experiences, “you need it, I’ve got it.” But I’m glad I’ve learnt a lot. I don’t even know where to begin. But I’ll say something from a different but very related angle, and I’m sure it will make sense.
I had mentioned on the “Meat and Sex” blog that I struggled with masturbation for over 18years, including that same day of the men’s meeting, just before I left home to attend. There’s nothing I hadn’t tried so as to break these chains that had held me captive for all this time. I realized that my drive came from something I picked up when very young. I had lotsa “aunties” who were brought home by my father, when mum was at work, including our nannies (house-help). One of these nannies, who was the most polite even went nuts one day, literally (as in lost her mind) while at our place and revealed what had been going on for the 5+ yrs she worked for us. She had to stay at Mathare for a good number of months getting treatment. Her folks even wanted to sue! Eh? These things can be ugly.
I developed a “love” for women and sex, that came from me seeing my father misbehave since I can remember. I had my own desires to have the same “fun,” so I ended up allowing myself to experiment with some of these nannies, girls in the hood, school, etc. An aunt of mine (my father’s youngest sister) who used to live with us, had also been molesting me for many years. Folks, by the time I was 9yrs (believe it or not), I had a “REGULAR” sex life! Through all these things, I stumbled over masturbation, and the rest is history.
Back to my (former) issue, on February 13th in the men’s meeting, I purposed for the umpteenth time NEVER to masturbate again, something which I had tried for years. Some of you may have read in the respective blog, my commitment to stop. I had been failing miserably for all the years because I used to say “never again.” To me, that’s not goal-oriented as it never worked. I decided to try eat this elephant from a different angle; by taking it a day at a time.
I agree with Aaron Rimbui, when he said that it’s a continuous journey. I’m very proud to say that I haven’t masturbated since Feb 13th! And I’m still soldiering on one day at a time. Death & life are in the power of the tongue. Everyday, I wake up and say, “I’m not wanking today.” And I’ve realized that the more I confess with my mouth that I won’t do it, the more I’ve noticed that it no longer has a grip on me. But just to keep the ball rolling, I still confess it. I don’t even think of it anymore since Feb 13th! Now, it may seem like a short time after a whooping 18yrs. But if you knew how hooked I was, doing it even 3-4 times a day religiously, (which thoroughly affected my sex life as I’m married), then you’ll feel me.
My point is this, my resentment for my father & aunt grew SO strong, from living in an extremely abusive and violent home, picking up bad stuff from their terrible examples, etc and I HATED them so much. But I’ve decided to let go, and take it a day at a time. if you’re struggling with anything, be it hatred, homosexuality, lesbianism, any form of addiction, infidelity, promiscuity, serial woman beating (yes, they do exist) etc. My advise is this; release it to God and ask Him to break these chains of bondage. Then ask Him to walk with you just one day at a time. Wake up and purpose by confession, that just for that day, you won’t do whatever it is that has been binding you. Ask God for strength and just stay commited, only for that day. Give Him thanks for the victory at the end of the day (oh it’s so sweet!), and face the next in the same way. Don’t try to do or think of too much than you can handle. The Bible says “too much food will make you vomit.” Partner with God to tackle this elephant in small bits, and I guarantee you success, for HE IS ABLE, MORE THAN ABLE!
My fellow men, Dr. James Dobson said that there are very many “fathers” (in terms of a sperm, but with very “Pink” elements) but very few “Dads” (the REAL man). I challenge you today, choose ye this day, which one will you be? Haya, tuendelee kuongea!
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March 9, 2009 at 7:56 am
hey,
i missed the sermon on father’s wound and from the bloggers i can feel that it was a moving one,got guys making very bold steps and it must have been a real bleesing….
the confeesions in the blog got me so moved and its my prayer that God will continue blessing mavunites .
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March 9, 2009 at 9:29 am
Hi guys,
I’d like to pose a question to the ladies out there about their views on the whole father wound topic. In what ways does a father who passed away (not ran off) affect a girl and her future relationships? I ask because i am in a relationship with a girl who has it all together in every regard – work, school, etc etc – however comes from a single parent household (father died when she was around 10years old) and has openly admitted she has never had any male influence in her life. She is fiercely independent and closed up in the relationship such that even after a couple of years together she has never spoken a word about her dad which i thought was odd especially as i am her jamaa. This issue has been gnawing at our relationship and the whole thing is becoming extremely frustrating.I guess im just trying to understand where shes coming from through you Mavunonites before i get frustrated. Thanks
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March 9, 2009 at 9:37 am
Listening to the teachings on sunday brought to mind a sermon on “Why men play by Pastor Linda”. I felt a deep sense of sadness just imagining how deep a father wound can be. I cried as I recounted the pain and tears I went thru in a breakup that crushed me into a million pieces two years back.
It took me almost one year to completely heal but it all began with forgiveness. Today Im totally healed and free.I have began to rebuild my life and to look up to God who is my source.
Forgivenss is a journey and for me it began that day when again Pastor S stood in the gap on behalf of the men.
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March 9, 2009 at 9:39 am
Hi guyz
this sunday was just the breaking point for me.
i forever regret a visit i made to my aunty’s place in Nakuru while i was young. i remember so vividly that thanks to my been liked so much by my aunties, theyd literally argue over who was going to take me to their place once my family had gone to shags. i am just one of those likeable people! Anywho, i chose to go with an aunt of mine who i figured since she lived further, it would be more fun travelling there.
i got along so well with my aunty’s in laws but what i didnt know is that thanks to my “cutish” looks, her sister in laws even hooked me up with boys of their hood. though i was never molested at that time.
i got to have a friend who was i believe the age of my father and i actually figured that i had gottn a replacement for my dad (who looked down on me, verbally abused me, introduced me to “aunties” when picking me up from school excursions, abused my mum and pushed me to the limit in everything i did.) This new friend molested me!
i thought that it was a show of affection and i actually thought that finaly i had met someone who showed me the affection that i had longe dfor so long.
its just funny how when one is so young yet there is such a hole and void in your heart and all one longs for is just fatherly love. how amazing that at such a young age (I was barely 9) one already questions their reason for living!
thaks to my feeling that my dad hated me and him not showing any commitment to making my life more bearable, i hated men, i hated my self and i must be honest, the time i saw that this months theme will be based on men, i felt so low because all along i have believed i am not man enough. my fathr clearly showed i was not so who was i to try and prove otherwise?
i git into sexual relationships with guys from my high school and although i hated myself for it, i couldnt understand why yet, it was the same men that made me vow to hate them forever for it was two men who i believe destroyed my life- my father and the man who molested me!
My fathers wound has left me with a gap to finda man who would love me and no wonder i fell into all the wrong traps.
God loves me so much and the doors He has opened for me have enabled me to rise so early in life but my heart is bleeding. i need my father. i need a father. i need someone.
today is the first day in my life that i have opened up to anyone let alone to my own church about my issues and i feel like breaking down. Although my mum is still my greatest consoler and pillar of strength, i still cant get to answer the question, ” why me? Honestly God, why did it have to be me going through all these emotions, this dilemma, this strain. was it a way to humble me or am i cursed or probably living in an afterlife and now am been punished for i dont know what.
i am so down, sometimes it makes me want to kill myself or even hope my mum dies before me so that she can not live to suffer my the bleed of my wounds which i have never opened up to!
i know i need help but i just dont know who to trust. i see myself everyday smiling, laughing, people showing me love and so many people admiring the brave life that i live and the fact that anything i get my hands on, i excel. but one thing is for sure, i got my hand to try and heal this wound but i am now nursing a kiss of death.
I am just lost for words.
who will walk with me? i cant write anymore, this is too much!
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March 9, 2009 at 9:53 am
Pastor Simon,
Thanks so much for yesterday’s sermon; It felt like open heart surgery without anaestheisa (very painful).
The message really got me thinking about my life and forgiveness and letting go and I made some resolutions.
I also enjoyed your talk with Aaron and how he would get validation from his gift, but now he is beyond that … very deep stuff, because I have come to realise that happiness does not come from money, titles etc, but by plugging into God. You can have all this stuff but still be very lonely and miserable.
Also, when you mentioned that it would have been a disaster if hAaron had gotten married before resolving his issues, I see the same being true for me, because unless I plug into the Source (God), no one and nothing will ever be good enough.
God bless.
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March 9, 2009 at 10:13 am
Thank God for pastor S.The sermon was moving,cutting the flesh unto the bone marrow.
I request that you share with us on how children can reconcile with their father without wounding their mother (where the mother and father are separated due to mistreatment of mother and children by their father).
To the fatherless i say you can still make it by not carrying the burden by yourself but casting it to the Lord.Am over 30yrs old and i have never known what a father looks like.Am married and a father,i trust God will give me the wisdom to raise my children in the best way possible, by giving them love and all that which i would have received from my father.
Finally acceptance of what has happenned is the first step to overcome all the consequecies of any misfortune.God bless.
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March 9, 2009 at 11:02 am
As I listened to the sermon yesterday, I must admit I felt so priviledged to have a dad who loves me and says it, a dad who believes in me, who disciplines me and who trully cares about me. Growing up my dad was the best dad anyone could pray for and I am grateful for that. However when we started praying about the wound, I found myself really crying, my heart was hurting and I couldnt explain why. Then it all came back to me… My dad always made sure we went to Church, but he never came unless there was a wedding, a funeral or I was perfoming (I used to sing in the Church I attended). I was brought up to be a disciplined girl, well mannered and I think I didnt turn out bad at all. But yesterday as I listened to Pastor S, I felt hurt that although my dad taught me well and he is a phenomenal dad, I wish he came to Church with us. My dad finally accepted Christ as his personal saviour about 2 years ago and it was a great joy for my family and I after years of prayer. I still wish he came to Church with us, I think thats why I cried so much yesterday as I listened to the sermon.
I pray for the men in Mavuno not only to be good fathers, but to be Fathers that lead by example, how do you tell your children that Church is good when you dont go to Church? I think I feel like I missed sharing the sermons, the lessons I learnt in Church, how the Word of God had changed my perception of certain things, I think those are the things that help a child relate to God as a father. Does anyone feel me?
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March 9, 2009 at 11:26 am
I cant help but imagine what Mavuno Pastors are going thru.This is alot of stuff to handle and I pray that the church gets enough people to do this work of God. It is sincerely a place where we can all help each other for Gods glory.Am praying that God will show us in mavuno how to do this, their are so many forums needed which should only be facilitated by the church, from sexual wounds,abuse,single parenting, mentoring of children, and even just one where we encourage each other.Am just feeling overwhelmed, i want to do something for all this hurting people apart from praying. Their is a gap here that obviously God wants addressed. I dont know whether the church would be in a position to ask for people willing to serve in church to address this deep issues, it would be alot of work for the church coz vetting of the people and some sort of training will be required, thou experience and having overcome or just working at it some of this things is enough training……we need to pray for the church guys, wisdom and resources is needed here.
For all of you hurting am praying for you., I wanna be free we serve a living God hang in there he will come thru for you.
Wams, thank you , am a single mum and jana after the service i went home asking God how after what i have heard(and agree with) how i can raise my kids to avoid all those issues, but like you said with God nothing is impossible i just need to remain connected and leave the rest to him.
Am really overwhelmed at the many people hurting, one always thinks they are alone.
God bless all.
oyer, guys please watch Not easily broken by T.D. Jakes it actually deals with some of the issues from the last series of Pastor M&C and now Pastor S.
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March 9, 2009 at 11:48 am
hi all.once again passy i felt naked on hearing your sermon.its like you are reading my mind.you all know my struggle with guys but am a very strong CHOLERIC. can you believe i almost cried yesterday.yes a choleric. you are touching my heart. apart from the fact that i might be bi-sexual, i was also wounded by my dad. he never showed emotions.so i was never SAID i love you son, i’m proud of you.i was never hugged by him.in addition, he would abuse us calling us stupid, idiot, useless. yes he discplined us but i think it was more of abuse.slapping you against the wall, leaving marks on your body.i was always top ten in class even at times number one numerous times but never got real recognition.was promised a bicycle every time i would become number one.it never came.i understand maybe he had other responsibilities at that time but HE should have never promised something he can’t or won’t provide.when i would want anything i would go to my mother because asking him was like a bother.yet he would freely give relatives money, clothing etc. i think slowly i resented him.now he is a sickly man and i do not like the way my mother has to do everything. yes i understand he has suffured a stroke but he should at least show some leadership. CAN u believe we don’t talk at all and yet we live in the same house.even saying goodmorning.i don’t know why.when i was sick it is my mother who would come.i even underwent surgery he NEVER CAME.then he expected us to go see him in hospital when he was hospitalised.the last time i din’t go.to me my dad died though he is still physically alive. oh i’m even shocked i’ve said i call him dad. i can’t remember the last time i said dad. i think in addition to the fact i was molested, and my father wound ,explains the reason why i look for a man to LOVE me.just to hear i love you.but in my quest i get hurt because i will meet someone who will just want sex. i feel I JUST WANT TO BE FREE:i can somehow relate to your wanting to be free. i want to be with a man at times and at times i HATE MEN..THAT IS WHY AM HOPING to sort oh sorry God to help me sort out this issues before i hope to get married.because if i don’t i’ll hurt my wife to be, and son/children.i hope to be a better father if i ever became one.or if GOD ever thinks im fit to be one.tell my son i love you, hug him, spend time with him, tell him he can be anything he wants to be, tell him am proud of him, hang out with him,play ball with him and for my wife take real care for her if i can.relief her of responsibilities i should undertake. WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THE FATHER WOUND GUYS…
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March 9, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Been coming to mavuno for close to 6 months now and must say God truly speaks to His people through his servants our dear pastors.
The Father wound sermon was so real. I coul write a whole book on my the wound inflicted by my dad.
Imagine Christmas days marred with violence and family memberes scattering for shelter in the night to escape the wrath of an abusive father.This happened so often when I was growing up and late into my youthful years that to date I do not value Christmas days. I have drifted away from family associations and cant remember the last time I was home with my family.My father could come home and verbally abuse every member of my family before turning to physical abuse. It was painful to helplessly watch my mum being battered and physically wounded afetr which my dad would turn to any of my siblings in sight.
I must mention that i am from a polygamous family and my mother is the first wife. She is a brave woman with a great heart who constantly encouraged us to put our trust in the Lord even when daddy did not care to provide for our basic needs. He openly favoured my step family.
Although we managed to rise above the odds of an abusive and contolling dad, I still feel that the wound he inflicted is still so fresh in my heart.
What traumatises me the most is the memories of how he made sexual advances to my elder sister many years ago.
In his controlling nature I was forced to enrol for a degree course in campus against my wishes and I had to drop out after a few months because I had no passion to persue the same. He was dissappointed in me and said that nothing good would come out of me. Thanks to my mother who encouraged me to persue my dream.
Iam now a lawyer working in the corporate world but when i reflect on my life moreso the relationships i have found myself in, its no doubt that I have been seeking for men to fill the gap left by dad to no avail. I have walked out of these relationship feeling emptier than I was before getting in.I want to free myself and rededicate my life to be used by God for I know he has great plans for me but this will not happen until I forgive my dad.Many are the times I want to call him or ask for a meeting to talk about this but am yet to gather the courage.
I know I need to do this very soon and am praying for the courage to do so.
I pray that I will meet a man who will be a true companion friend and great father to my Children
During the sermon i tried so hard to resist breaking down. I stood for prayer and I believe God will help me in dealing with the wound inflicted and forgiving my dad.
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March 9, 2009 at 12:25 pm
wow!
to all those who need pastor S’s help his number is 0737969521…talk to one of the best examples of a father and male figure in our generation
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March 9, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Pastor S I can’t believe it. I thought that my situation was unique. As you went on with the sermon, I couldn’t help but see the way many people were relating to the topic.
My father has always been in my life but the many times I wished he’d die and leave us in peace. I am from a very wealthy family but my father could never keep his pants zipped. I don’t think there is no woman that guy has not fathered with. Even his sister- in -law. The saddest bit of this story is that he is not ashamed of his ways. He brings them home where my mother and we just watched. My mother has four kids and because of her sadness we become very close. We prayed constantly and cried together as a family. In school we all worked hard so that we could at least put a smile on her ever sad face. This was a blessing to us because we are all graduates.
Sometime last year, mum decided that she has had enough, I am the second born and the only married child. So she came to stay with me. My dad was very upset and started sending curses to my family and I. I think this caused my mum a lot of worry she went back. So my husband, my sister, my brother and I decided to go home and reconcile with our father since there was a lot of tension. When we got there he was a bit unfriendly and of course as his children we humbled ourselves and apologized.
Later we were a bit skeptical about going home to visit but my mum kept asking us to visit. Again we all went but he was still unfriendly. After the weekend visit, mum and dad argued and this time she left for her friend’s home. She left with nothing but a few of her clothes. A week did not lapse, my father took home one of his mistresses and she now lives there. Am told that he is going out with one of the employees at the same time. Now, am wounded because he does not support my mum and he hates the fact that we support her. In fact he does not talk to us at all.
Now pastor S, do u think I can ever name that guy? What if I get a son and name him after my dad and he gets the same habit? Am even afraid of getting a second born and I get a son again and I have to name him? By not naming him shall I stand accused of breaking the 4th commandment or will I just be breaking away from a curse coz I believe he is cursed? Can the curses he has sent me ever be? Yaani, I think I envy those who never met there fathers. Ok now let me go cry more.
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March 9, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I couldn’t agree more with all that has been said. Pastor Simon once again you really opened our eyes. I was raised with an excellent relationship with my pops and it continues to grow even more. my dilemma is that i am married for 4 and a half years but prior to my marriage i had a daughter with my ex girlfriend. the girls mother has refused me access to see her absolutely, i realise the mistake i made then, but have tried to make amends nad even contribute towards her upkeep but she absolutely refuses to grant me access. listening to yesterdays sermon, i dread that my absence may come to haunt my daughters ability to live a fulfilling life. my wife knows about everything and though it initially brought a challenge before we wedded, we agreed to work together to make life wonderful for the little one. i literrally am at my wits end….
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March 9, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Hey Pastor M,
Thanks for talking to some of us. I am a wounded one, am 25yrs last born from a family of 6. my father left when I was 7years, the only things I really remember so well is that he is the one who taught me how to write my name in a very easy way and at a young age I was able to write all my names, he promised to buy me a bicycle before he left and I really waited for this bicycle for so long. The most frustrating thing is that after he left the first time I saw him again was when I was in form2 and after form 4 and he couldn’t remember me, can you imagine you being introduced to your own dad??
He is such a fake man I would call him, he never cared about us at all. My mum has brought us up on her own and I agree with Wams that we need to respect such mothers. Fortunately I have grown to be a responsible lady but I have to admit I think am scared of trusting men and always think they have a hidden agenda. I trully need to deal with this before I make someone suffer. I always leave the men in my life just because of my own fears and never give them a chance. I have however promised my self and always pray that I will bring up my children in a different environment with both parents present and I hope this come to pass.
Wams: I have also been thinking of starting a mentoring program for gals who’s father were absent, the society has made us look like we cant do anything and unfortunately some have internalised this and give up. maybe we could even start the program from our own church thats if pastor you are fine with this for we will have more people healed through prayers and guidance from our pastors. as you mentioned pastor we need to bring up a different generation.
On a different note; I need to recommit and renew my relationship with God and I need guidance and prayers. I need to serve him with all my heart. There more angers I have to deal with and I also need to reunite my family, learn how to pray and study the bible.
By the way I really want to learn how to play the drum and the piano, Aron could you please connect me to your dramist or somewhere i could go for practical classes? I will aprreciate
God bless you
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March 9, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I have to say I loved the sermon on Father wound a lot. I made peace with my father last year and since then my relationship with men is a whole a lot better than it has ever been. He was a violent man and on top of that he stopped working and had my mother break her back to feed, educate and clothe all four of us. Finally to my relief they separated but my bitterness towards him remained. When I forgave him last year, to this day he has nothing but blessings and love spoken into my life. All is forgiven and now we relate in a way that a real father and child do, with love and utmost respect for each other.
The fact that it is a father who calls out a girl’s femininity and a boy’s masculinity totally blew me away….. so much for thinking so lowly of them! And for that they earn so much more respect in my book as I strive to respect and love my fiance all the more….. Men you have the power to make or break your child…. don’t abuse or ever take it for granted.
The one thing I had a problem with the sermon was the little reference there was to the Bible. If you really believe that the Bible is life’s handbook then why very little emphasis on it this time round? There should be more than one verse that talks about Fatherhood and their place in their children’s lives…… is there? Don’t we have men in the Bible who would fit the description of an absent father, present father or abusive father? I felt like I had gone for a conference on “Father wound 101” NOT a sermon. But maybe this was just me
Nonetheless, it was good. Pastor Simon be blessed and thank you for enlightening us.
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March 9, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Today’s Verse from the New Living Translation
“O our God, won’t you stop them? We are powerless against this mighty army that is about to attack us. We do not know what to do, but we are looking to you for help.”
—2 Chronicles 20:12
view in context
Encouragement for Today
Jehoshaphat faced going to battle against a huge army. In his prayer of the preceding verses, he traces the history of the predicament, acknowledging who God is and what he has done. In his prayer, he gains God’s perspective. In verse 12, he simply and humbly acknowledges his own weakness, his need, and his trust in God for help. Such prayers are always answered. If you’re feeling weak and helpless, take time to reflect on God’s faithfulness in your life thus far. Spread out your situation before God, ask for help, and expect it to come.
—Diane Eble, author of Abundant Gifts: A Daybook of Grace-Filled Devotions
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March 9, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Pastor S, I have no words all i know is that God used you in an amazing way yesterday to reach me. Now i know why God never allowed me to get married. My dad was an abuser, violently, emotionally and when you stood up to apologise on behalf of my dead father…those were the kindest words i had ever heard from him and they came through the mouth piece of my pastor…He told me i was ugly and i believed him and as a result any man who approached me was doing me a favor. I would wonder when will he realise i am ugly and leave…most of them left i kept anticipating it…History even began to repeat itself when one of my boyfriends started to hit me…i didn’t leave as it was familiar infact i clung to him.
When i worship God i cry, every day i wonder at how far God has brought me…I lift my hands i sing for joy because He is truly a Savior…Jesus Christ is my life and it is because His love is for real and He has never left
He is teaching me day by day to accept His love…am glad i have found the one i can cling to without shame or fear that he will leave me…or abuse me but He is patient…i don’t have to be perfect with Him coz He loves me anyway…
His love has healed me…
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March 9, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Hey all
Sundays sermon was powerfull
Pastor Simon tht was wonderful.
Im readin all your comments anf for others experiences and am grateful we can share like this.I love this family
Pastor S i guess for all the young men anf ladies out there who didnt get the vaildation from thier daddies its not too late,
Wat i would love is an older woman or couple to be my spiritual parents to call me out…..coz i never got that ggrowing up
My experience is painful but funny enough people,im not bitter or angry
This sunday as i sat in church i was literally weeping and trying so hard to wipe my tears coz there was this kind looking Usher who kept staring with conceren
I have a a dad who loves me no doubt.i know that .am the only gal in a family of 5 boys.
When i was 9,my big bro who was 16 and a real bully to the rest of us younger kids started sexually assaulting me,,,,,he could call me to his bedroom while the rest of my brothers were outtplaying,remove my clothes ,fondle me and have anal sex with me….i was too scared to ttalk to anyone…mama has had depression for as long as i can remember,i came across some Doctors notes from way back tht say it was Schizophrenia.so clearly she was never there for me even as a child.sometimes i fell i never really felt the love affecttion and protection a young gal needs while growing up
so one day mama is in town ,just me and my big bro,and this time when he forced me ….he literally raped me,,,,thts how i lost my virginity at 9,to my brother………..
i bled severly i remeber,was in bed crying for a day or two….when my dad asked wat was the matter i said i had a boil tht was in a bad place tht had burst coz i was in pain i couldnt walk.
So Dad took me to a private Doc and wen i was examined by a nurse i guess they figured out it was sexual assault…
Goin home dad was quite,the he asks me ….has there been a man beating you or touchin you i said no?
tht was the end of the matter i buried the issue in the recess of my soul,we never talked about it,,,,,Ofcourse the Doc told him wat had happened but there was nofollow-up nothin.it died away like nothin ever happened .i guess it was too embarassing to deal with….
Ma bro never touched me after tht …..funny still……i was a brilliant Kid all thro Primary….responsible,went to a National High school did very well…went to campus ,,,,and now am slowly building up a good career in an good Int org at 27
Am cofident,almost arrogant towards men…..and too independent…….sometimes i break down coz i just need to be loved so bad esp parental love………….to be cared for and nurtured in a way i never got growin up,to confidde in someone on the issues of life,dating,marriage,growin up etc
i have forgiven dad ,my brother too,and mama ……..
been in a couple of relationships with men but end up walking away i have never met one who fulfillls my soul
then i learnt i was looking for it in the wrong place.
now am focussiong on God,desparate to belong in church with a family that trully cares………..avee made a couple of false steps
am not yet there ……but hope someday i will
Thanks Pastor S
Pearl
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March 9, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Am so touched by the messeges.Though my dad was always so loving a nd caring i just realised that i never really appreciated him directly and infact i had to send him an email just to say thanks.Interestingly he was this loving yet he himself had his dose of father wounds.
Am glad to be part of mavuno and i pray that God will continue to speak to us through our leaders.Am also glad that as people heal,people are also learning skills.
For all who have further wounds,id like to encourage you to remember that we have a chance to bring change,make a difference and that we should take this teachings & practise them to ensure that we are not channels of inflicting pain to our children and that thsi generation brings a difference.
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March 9, 2009 at 2:01 pm
@ Klipperty Klop
Hey man…i am so sorry for what you had to go through…i believe abuse to a child is the worst form of abuse…coz they cannot defend themselves. I pray that over and above confessing freedom from this addiction, you could seek more counselling with the church…i believe in total healing and freedom…
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March 9, 2009 at 2:20 pm
@ MK,
I am glad you want to recommit your life to Christ, you could join Mizizi to get you started on the basics of christianity…i did it and i learnt simple practical steps of how to pray, do quiet time, read the bible…the next intake is on and class begins April 14th. it is truly a phenomenal class it changed my life…
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March 9, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Hey.this is truly phenomenal.
First of all,I’d like to ask Pastor Simon if this is overwhelming for him.I want to make your number available to men i know not in Mavuno who might’ve been abused and I’m wondering if it’s too much.
Second,I don’t think this was less of a sermon or a fatherhood 101 kind of thing.Where better to hear about something so valuable and profound as fatherhood but from God’s mouthpieces,the different pastors we have.When we want to play instruments,start a career or play sports,we look for the professionals in those areas to train us yet when it comes to parenting,I guarantee you very few people actually seek to attend or pay to go for parenting classes or ask for psychological advice.Pastor Simon in that one sermon gave something that I think if I were a man and I wanted to become a parent I would pay him in gratitude.I agree with Pastor M’s sentiments sometime ago about the need for parenting.I’m not even in a relationship but when I decide to settle down,I will bring it up with my husband to attend parenting classes.
Being a parent,and more so a father is right up there in my mind in importance with national leaders,pastors,ceos coz in my opinion it’s the parents who are to prepare the leaders of tomorrow.
The whole Bible too is about fatherhood.God being our FATHER!someone above gave extremely good references of how God affirms and shows His love for His First Born,Jesus Christ.
Salvation is all about our Father recognising that He needs to look out for us.Yet He’s not a passive God,and He disciplines us as He sees fit.If anything,I would have men with children waking up each morning like Job used to do to pray for each of his children coz guys have the example of God as their role model for a dad.
My own father has hurt me a lot too but he gave his life to Christ some years back.He’s the one who sought reconciliation and now we’re such good friends,it’s not enough to meet twice a week.He bought me an extra line on a network that charges one shilling per minute so we can talk freely.
Even as a child I knew a lot o people don’t really like their dads but I didn’t know how much damage a father can do to a child until yesterday’s sermon and I read today’s blog.
So Pastor S please tell me if I can give your number to those guys.I’m kinda afraid for your team coz this is a lot to deal with but the Lord who gave you the message will give all of you the wisdom,resources,and extra personnel to deal with the need for healing exposed by the message.You are all in my prayers.This is tough work.I’m a chic but I think I’ll start waking up at 4 on Wednesdays to be in prayer in Spirit with Gideonites
And if it’s okay,could you give Pastor Sophie’s number for chics who’ve been abused by their fathers.And is this number correct?0737969521
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March 9, 2009 at 4:31 pm
…..And just when i thought i am starting to forgive my dad, my sister just called to say he is sending people to forcefully evict my brother from one of his houses where he has been living with his family.
This he is doing to creat room for a woman he got a baby with 2 months ago…I have not gone home for close to a year now as i do not want to meet this woman, my agemate whom I am meant to call mum not forgetting that I have had to live with my evil stepmum since I was two yrs old…
Currently our lastborn brother is out of college for lack of Fees yet my father has lots of wealth,He disowned one of my brothers who ended up in prison and from there to an approved school.He is now changed but hurting for lack of recognition and acceptance from dad….
Can i really recover from the constant pain…..I see from reading the blog thre are people with worse experiences and this gives me hope that all will come to pass…Guys i need your prayers as i keep hurting
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March 9, 2009 at 4:36 pm
I get updates of the sermons from downloading them from your website but there are some I dont get to hear the whole sermons.
How do i get the Mavuno CDs or tapes, I like you sermons but live and work in Ksm. Can anyone help…
Fathers wound, well I think we men need alot of work and Gods grace, I keep asking how is it possible that mothers days seems to be the day when most children talk about and not the fathers days? What is wrong with us… thats where pastor S comes in, Good work may God show you all the hidden snares we as men are trapped in so that we can break free.
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March 9, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Hi good people,
i don come to Mavuno but ever since a friend gave me a copy of Pastor M’s Happily ever after series i practically live on this blog. i think it’s amazing what is happening to us as christians. i remember of a time when being a christian meant you were so spiri it’s like you didn’t live in this world. but u guys are confronting things as they are and i love that about you mavunites. i didn’t hear pastor S’s sermon (and i can’t wait for them to upload) but i already identify completely. i come from a single parent home and my mum has struggled to bring us up and she has done a good job. i had my father issues resurface a few years ago and i hated both of them. for making me choose, for denying me a whole home or so i thot and jus for always having to explain where my dad is. and you know what i did i took it to God. i told God bout my pain and my fears and how i would have loved to have a father growing up and how my biggest fear is that i’ll end up like my mum with kids and all alone(i know it’s not the worst thing) but that i might spill over my insecurities and fears to those kids or even my future spouse. and you know God showed himself to me as a Father. i saw him as my Dad and it was amazing. i can talk to my real Dad now and i don feel empty or like i missed out cos God makes a better Dad. He held me when i was down i ask him all sorts of father daughetr stuff and cos of that experience i am even able to relate to young kids-i even started teaching sunday school(growing up i swore to never get kids cos the world is too cruel) yes i didn’t sufer sexual abuse or physical abuse but my mum did at the hands of my dad and we all saw it so yes the scars were there, but Thank God for the healing power of Jesus. so to all you guys who have these deep father wounds jus try God as a Dad. you will be amazed and approach it from a relaxed concept. talk to him as you would wish you could relate with your dad.
Barakaz
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March 9, 2009 at 6:02 pm
The father wound, that is what i have been carrying since as far back as i can remember and come to think of it, the root of most of my troubles. I am 29 yrs old. Ma parents separated when i was 9 yrs old & we were left ith dad. He provided food & clothing but he was emotionally, physically and verbally abusive coupled with being absent coz he used to travel a lot. Then he died 10 yrs ago. I dont know why i was so devastated when he died. I gues deep down he was still a hero of sorts. So i turned to men to give me the love that i did not get from him. Any man who’s lips formed the words ‘you are beautiful, ‘i love u,’ i gave myself to them without a second thought. I was taken advantage of & even sexully abused sometimes. This got me into so much trouble some of it i cant even put it in writing. I stood up to be prayed for and even went to the prayer tent after the service. I was asked to pray also and i verbally forgave my dad and released him. I feel such peace and i believe that i have let go of the hurt that has haunted me for so long. Thanks pastor S for being real, Thanks mavuno and pastor M for a real church. Am greatful and lost for words!
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March 10, 2009 at 12:53 am
For David, I just want to be free, and other sexual minorities at Mavuno Church:
I have been tossing and turning, unable to sleep since the sermon on Sunday, because I have been so disturbed by this whole dialogue on homosexuality, and praying about how to respond. First, let me start by saying that Mavuno church has been such a blessing to my life these past few months. I came to the church at a time when I was dealing with severe depression and just felt lost in life. A friend of mine invited me to go, and the minute I walked in, I knew that I was in a special place. For the first time in my life, I felt as though I was really in the presence of our loving God, and I remember crying right through the service, overwhelmed by the love that I felt. I knew that I had found my spiritual home, and was so glad to finally discover a church that invited us to “come as we are.” I thought that Mavuno was a really progressive church, that dealt with real issues that real people are dealing with on a daily basis. And I was so impressed by the wisdom of Pastor Muriithi, and now Pastor S. But deep inside, I had the question, “What is this churche’s stand on the issue of homosexuality?” And then the topic was raised on Sunday, and alas, it was the same old conservative perspective that gay people are sick sinners that need to be healed. And my heart sunk. I just ask that whoever reads this takes some time to consider that there might be other perspectives on this issue. Please have some compassion in your hearts and consider that it is the same God that created straight people, who created Gay people, and no, it is not a condition, culture, or a result of being sexually abused at a young age. Sure, some people react to sexual abuse in this way, but a large majority of gay people, whether fatherless or not, have not experienced any sexual abuse, and for as long as they can remember, were always attracted to people of the same sex. Even animal species are gay, and they are certainly not “conditioned.” There are many ways to interpret the bible, and we all know how the bible has been misinterpreted and used to discriminate against people throughout history. So if we are really going to create a home for all people in our community, I think we ought to create a space for dialogue on this issue that respects different perspectives and interrogates different interpretations. Plus, if we are going to create a “support group” for queer people at Mavuno, it should certainly be a safe space, otherwise we are just going to alienate people even more than they already are by society. I know a lot of queer groups in Kenya, and all over Africa, so please let me know if you would like me to connect you – even queer Christians. It is difficult to discuss this on a blog, but it also provides a forum to begin a discussion which I believe requires a lot more time.
On this note, I just want to share something written by Bishop David Russell, from South Africa, in his book, “The Bible and Homosexuality: What is the Spirit Saying to the Churches?”
Affirming gays and lesbians as they are
Returning to the crucial question being examined here: why should it be assumed that being homosexual is necessarily a disorder, a type of sickness that requires healing? Why can it not be accepted that some people grow up differently? What is so terrible about the condition that those so oriented are encouraged to seek healing at all costs? Why the annihilating pressure to insist that all homosexuals need to change? Why can’t this minority be accepted as different, and affirmed as they are? Is the reluctance to accept them as they are not perhaps rooted in a deep-seated prejudice? The human community has suffered for so long from dehumanizing racial prejudice. People need to be cleansed and freed from all forms of destructive prejudice, including that which is based on a person’s sexual orientation.
There have been those who after a period during which they have identified themselves as homosexual, then do in fact change, and actually settle into heterosexual orientation. For some this happens naturally. For others it might be a painful struggle arising out of psychological problems which might beset anyone on their journey to wholeness.
Having recognized this however, it is another matter altogether to dogmatically assume and assert that all homosexuals can and should go the same journey. We have questioned above such sweeping assumptions, which have led to such cruel prejudice and treatment of homosexuals in the history of the Church. The vast majority of homosexuals don’t change, either because they see no reason to do so, or because they might have tried to change, but found it just ‘didn’t work’.
CONCERNING THIS OVERWHELMING MAJORITY OF HOMOSEXUALS, WHY NOT ACCEPT THAT GOD ACCEPTS THEM AS THEY ARE? DOES GOD REALLY WANT TO CHANGE THEIR ORIENTATION? Is God bothered with a person’s sexual orientation? Why are people so often disturbed by difference, and unaccepting of diversity? God looks to the heart, and longs to help us grow in likeness to Jesus Christ. It would surely be not only cruel but seriously misguided to suggest that in order for people of homosexual orientation to grow in likeness to Christ, they need to change their orientation. Archbishop Desmond Tutu referring to the sin of racism speaks of how God’s children were made to feel less than who they were. Skin colour was the criteria of worth! He then went on to say that when we discriminate against people on the basis of ethnicity, or gender, or orientation we undermine their humanity, and INSULT GOD THE CREATOR.
We repeat once again the question posed above: SURELY THE CHURCH NEEDS TO RE-EXAMINE ITS TRADITIONAL TEACHING AND APPROACH TO THESE ISSUES. Put more directly: why should not the traditional moral norms in the area of sexuality and sexual behaviour be applied equally to all human relationships whether heterosexual or homosexual?
END QUOTE.
I know this is a difficult topic to discuss, but I really really hope and pray that the church will have compassion, and create a home for queer Christians who are also God’s children. The story of Sodom and Gomorrah, can be read as a story of sexual abuse, promiscuity and sexual immorality, and certainly has nothing to do with same sex love – yes, Love. As Russell says, “Familiar texts that are often used to argue against homosexuality are Leviticus 18:22, Lev 20:13, Rom 1:26-27 and 1 Cor 6:9-10, among others. It would seem to be clear that in these texts, certain forms of homosexual behaviour are definitely condemned. However, those now arguing in favour of a change in the traditional position of the Church, would want to point out that the kind of behaviour which is being condemned in Leviticus and in Paul’s letters, would seem to have very little with the faithful caring same-sex relationships which sincere Christians are referring to and commending today. In the Old Testament tradition, the kind of homosexual behaviour which they were aware of, was strongly associated with the idolatrous and promiscuous practices of the surrounding cultures and religions.”
I am not promoting promiscuity or sexual abuse, but where two people sincerely and honestly love and care for each other, I believe that they should be allowed to do so, as they continue to walk with God, their creator.
I thank you for creating this space for dialogue, and for reading this very long post.
Peace and Blessings to you all,
Sayari
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March 10, 2009 at 7:57 am
Thanks for the word this past Sunday.
The topics on being man enough have been great but I’d also like a similar one for the ladies. The reason I feel this way is that I believe there are men, few as they may be, out there who are doing all the best to stand up and be counted as the real men of this generation. They are the fathers who are struggling to do their role right and so they work hard so that their families may have the best. They make time for God and their families and to some greater extent; they are the real hope for their families, true Daddies. Unfortunately, the women they made vows to do not seem to be playing their part and as a result you find them getting frustrated as the days go by in their marriages. Things do not seem to flow right at home to the point that it is so evident even to external persons. I therefore would like you guys to consider having similar teachings for the women that we have married. I would also like to encourage the church, as a church for real people with real issues, to consider forming peer groups for those married. Such forums will enable sharing to take place and the married couples will never walk alone as they may be now.
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March 10, 2009 at 8:24 am
@Sayari
I have lifted this from your blog ‘The story of Sodom and Gomorrah, can be read as a story of sexual abuse, promiscuity and sexual immorality, and certainly has nothing to do with same sex love – yes, Love.”
You are mistaken my friend, the men of Sodom and Gomorrah caused a riot at Lot’s house because the wanted to have sex (homosexual) WITH angels who came to evacuate Lot. It’s my personal belief that this is when God said enough is enough, when sexual urge/orientation obscures deity.
To appease them Lot offered his two virgin daughters to the mob (I will never understand this for as long as I live) and even then the men could not be satisfied, and the only intervention possible for GOD was to strike the mob with blindness.
We have see people riot for food, human rights, you name it but can you imagine people causing a riot to have Sex with other men?
Read Below Gen 19: 1-7 (NIV)
(I have capitalized for emphasis)
1 The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2 “My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.”
“No,” they answered, “we will spend the night in the square.”
3 But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate.
4 Before they had gone to bed, ALL THE MEN FROM EVERY PART OF THE CITY OF SODOM— BOTH YOUNG AND OLD —SURROUNDED THE HOUSE.
5 They called to Lot, ” WHERE ARE THE MEN WHO CAME TO YOU TONIGHT? BRING THEM OUT TO US SO THAT WE CAN HAVE SEX WITH THEM.”
6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him
7 and said, “No, my friends. DON’T DO THIS WICKED THING.
8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”
Sayari, May God send you help from zion, may he answer you in the time of need. Only God can help you if you are willing.
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March 10, 2009 at 9:01 am
I shared my blog post with my mother and asked for her advice, and this is what she said. I hope that it touches someone’s heart out there as it has mine. I love you with all my heart mummy!
Hi sweetheart,
That was really courageous. Am glad you are able to share your concerns. I pray for God’s wisdom as you tackle this matter – on what to share, when, how, why and with whom, and that He will come through clearly for you. Just be knowing that it may not be the pastor and it is not another human being who will give you the answers you are looking for. The walk with God happens at a very personal level. He is a personal God and your relationship with Him is personal. The closer you are to Him, the clearer you will hear from Him, the better you will understand Him and the more you will know His will for you. It is pretty much, yet a thousand fold deeper that your relationship with me, for example, or another human being. The more time we spend with each other, the closer we are, the better you are able to know what I would say in a certain situation, what my values are, what my wishes are for you. You know that everything I do for you has your best interest at heart because you are secure in my love for you. Yet, I am only human, with my human weaknesses and shortcomings, even when I want the best for you.
But the Almighty God is all loving, all caring, all knowing and present everywhere. He is all Holy. He made you. He knows what is best for you. He has special plans for you – plans to prosper you and not to bring you harm. He is the only one who can give you all the answers you are looking for. He is the only one who can guide you. All you need to do is to be really close to Him, read His word, talk to Him, listen to Him, allow Him in your innermost thoughts and surrender to Him to guide you. If you rely on a human being, however well meaning they are, or on a Church, however progressive and fulfilling it is, you will be hurt at one time or another. So look beyond your friends, family, the Church, unto the Lord God Almighty only. Protect your heart. He will show you the way. Be patient, doing only what He directs, when He does. There are always 5 ways of knowing what God is saying:
1) Commanding scriptures – God speaks through the Bible
2) Compelling Spirit – that inner voice speaking to you. You will know God’s voice. You know my voice.
3) Common sense – is it logical, practical, wise?
4) Counsel of the Saints – other Christians will speak about it. Note that this is not where you begin
5) Confirming circumstances. There will be a billboard, you will hear it on radio, you may read it in a magazine, someone may give you a flier on it. Someone else may call you about it. All those things that look like coincidences. Pay attention. God sometimes closes doors. He sometimes opens doors. These signs do not stand alone. Do not put too much weight on them. Sometimes you have to wait and persevere despite the circumstances.
All the best in your spiritual journey. I pray that you may bask in God’s love and that your times of trial – which will be there, will be bearable and that you will grow from them. I love you completely. I thank God for what He is doing in your life. He is faithful to me. As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord! Amen!
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March 10, 2009 at 9:09 am
Pastor Simon, thank you for the sermon that God inspired you to deliver, it was truly phenomenal, it stirred me up and I was beyond words by the time I left. It was my first time to visit Mavuno and I had a whole new experience! For the past few weeks I have been grappling with questions about my life and what direction I want to take in life and slowly but surely am seeing God touch me in so many ways! This is something I would want to continue because with each touch I receive from Him, my heart becomes more peaceful and my spirit becomes more calmer.
Listening to your sermon made me realize that I have been running away from the realities of my life especially when it comes to my relationship with my father. At some point I thought that by writing him off I would be dealing with the problem but for the past few weeks I have come to realize that the father wound still lingers on in my life. I see this through the number of times a relationship fails in my life and my attitude towards the men I have had in my life. I am one of those people who create a facade as a means of survival. On the outside especially towards a boyfriend I pass on as strong, overly assertive and independent coupled with a don’t care attitude but in the inside am faint-hearted, fear getting hurt and being broken hearted!
I have been seeing someone and when it started off I thought this time I would get it right but we had an argument about a month ago and the things we said to each other have sort of marred the possibility of the relationship growing. This period that we have been separate I have discovered things about myself that I need to work on and as much as he wronged me I am hoping that he will forgive me for the nasty things I said to him and how I mishandled the situation even if the relationship doesn’t materialize.
I now also realize that I have to work at forgiving my father and letting go of the past hurt and pain. It is not easy for me but I know it’s something I have to do to receive blessings and also secure a better future for the family that God will bless me with and even the generations after. I wouldn’t want to bring children into this world only for them to go through what I have.
I have a kind request, would you kindly share more Biblical references towards this subject? I think it will help me understand the situation more. Thank you Pastor Simon, you are truly a blessing!
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March 10, 2009 at 9:36 am
@Sayari,
I would just like to share the Word of God with you. 1 Corinthians 6:8-10 (New International Version)
8 Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers.
9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders
10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God
The Word of God is very straight forward on this and I would just like to clarify some issues.
1. From my understanding, the support group that Pastor Simon was talking about on his sermon on Sunday was about helping male victims of sexual abuse.
2. There is nothing conservative in saying homosexuality is wrong; We are as modern as it comes and i personally will never accept or agree with it, no matter what. Homosexuality is wrong!
3. Each one of us was created with a will, and with that will we make conscious choices, and we cannot blame God if we make the wrong choices, and also we cannot force others to agree with our lifestyle choices. In my sociology class, my lecturer used to talk about cavemen (people who run into caves to excuse their behavior). ‘Whatever you do, just keep the blame off you’ kind of mentality.
4. When each of our lives is over, we will all answer to God for how we lived our lives, based on how we chose to live our lives in obedience to God and his written word, therefore I pray that we all make it.
I would also like to share another verse from 2 Timothy 4;
3 For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.
So, I think we should stay on the topic which was on how fathers have wounded people.
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March 10, 2009 at 12:40 pm
@ Sayari,
I fully agree with Dinah Kanake and the Stoic on this matter. And although I’ll deviate a little from the topic in question of the Father wound, I feel I’d like to say a few things on this.
While God wants us to come to Him “just as we are,” it doesn’t end there. That’s just the Genesis. I personally don’t condemn people with Gay/Lesbian tendencies, because we ALL have issues, not necessarily in the sexual realm. But neither do I agree with their actions. (They are not the problem, but their actions). This is just one of the areas in which people have issues and there are many others. But just because we’re accepted as we are, doesn’t qualify us, or “make it ok” to go on to lead lives that don’t please God. It’s like telling a thief, “just come as you are. I do understand you can’t help stealing, so it’s ok.” I like Dinah’s example of 2 Timothy 4. And also remember, even Jesus told the adulterous woman “go and SIN NO MORE.” He accepted her as she was, BUT an instruction followed.
Some of the stuff you’ve quoted on your blog, to me, sound more like a justification of some actions. Yes, as the Bishop partly says, we should by all means accept people with those tendencies, BUT it doesn’t end there. What does God have to say about these tendencies? The Bible is our road map, our manual, our “Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth,” and we shouldn’t use its contents to try to hide behind God’s word and justify our actions. Proverbs 30:5-6 says that “God keeps every promise He makes. He is like a shield to all who seek His protection. If you claim that He said something that He never said, He will reprimand you and show that you are a liar.” If something is wrong, it’s wrong. There are no two ways about it.
And to answer one of the questions on your blog; YES, God is bothered by our sexual orientation, because when He created us, there was a reason and a way He intended for it to be. That’s why He said “a man shall leave his father and mother, to be united to his wife, and the two shall become one.” He never mentioned about two men or two women becoming one. We have to lead our lives according to the manual, without bringing in our own doctrines. Like your dear mum has told you, “All you need to do is to be really close to Him (God), read His word, talk to Him, listen to Him, allow Him in your innermost thoughts and surrender to Him to guide you.”
In conclusion, not everything that we read is right. Your mum also told you, “If you rely on a human being, however well meaning they are, or on a Church, however progressive and fulfilling it is, you will be hurt at one time or another. So look beyond your friends, family, the Church, unto the Lord God Almighty only. Protect your heart. He will show you the way. Be patient, doing only what He directs, when He does.” In other words, what does God say about it?
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March 10, 2009 at 12:45 pm
that sermon was just on time, am not a member of mavuno, i had planned to go to my home church that sunday, but i had to work over the weekend hadi sunday.. so i told our driver to pick me up at mavuno at 10am, thats after praise n worship.. i had no intentions of staying over for the full service.. but the driver delayed, he later picked me up immediately after the prayers for the ladies.. i was among them standing, oh my God. this was directed to me n for me.. i cried like mad..
my father, has been the worst father, we dont even call him dad any more. he hasnt spoken to my brother for the last 5 yrs, ( there is no reason for this). he hasnt spoken to me for the last one yr or so (coz i told him that if he abuses my mum again, he will be in police custody in no time).
i dont like him at all, i mean his recent ment has made me hate men, am 27 yrs old and believe it or not,i havent dated.. ok i have many male friends and all i can do is just be friends.. once they ask me out i.e be a galfriend, things change. i dont even know how to hanlde it. my father has just created this beast thati see in men, i dont even know that i will be able to trust a man..
am working on it, coz i really need a life, am tired and am letting it go..
thanks mavuno for that
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March 10, 2009 at 12:56 pm
hey.i have to agree with dinah on this one.when it’s all said and done,the final authority on God’s will is GOD Himself through His word to us.Sayari,there’s no other way to interpret the scriptures that you yourself quoted.The word doesn’t change to suit our needs harsh as that sounds and I truly hope I’m not offending you by saying that.There’s something our senior pastor says.Pastor Mureithi.God loves as exactly as we are,but He loves us too much to leave us as we are.God loves SINNERS from before they’re born.That doesn’t mean He condones the sin.Homosexuality is clearly a violation of God’s intention and those scriptures are self-explanatory.But the Lord loves the people either way.God loves ALL SINNERS!without exception.ALL SINNERS.nothing you’ve done can make Him throw His hands up in defeat.and so when the Church makes a stand against homosexuality,it’s not that they’re being ‘Conservative’.I have friends who are homosexual and I don’t pretend it’s okay with me BUT WE’RE STILL FRIENDS.you hate the sin,not the sinner.the day Mavuno starts acting like homosexuality is okay will be the beginning of it’s downfall.Yet I’ve seen the pastors there deal with sin so decisively yet so lovingly.Once there was a prominent musician in the church who got pregnant while still single.most churches would quietly kick her out.but these guys allowed her to confess it to the church,loving her yet not saying that what she did is okay.They forgave her and LOVED her without excusing her actions.That one incident by ITSELF convinced me it’s God who guides this pastoral team.most people i know who were in ministry and they did something like that never go back to ministry even after they heal coz o how the church leadership treats them.but this musician is still a strong part of the ministry here.So I’m sure when Pastor S deals wit men struggling wit such things,it’s with firm love.loving the person yet hating the sin.I know it’s not politically correct at all to call homosexuality a sin,but that’s what it is according to the Bible and when we start fearing being politically offensive as opposed to in God’s will.so it’s not a rejection of the person when we call it a sin,but a rejection of the sin itself. Plus,Pastor S was specifically talking about people who are that way as a result of sexual abuse.
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March 10, 2009 at 1:36 pm
The sermon really hit home for me.. I had a dad who was emotionally, verbally and physically abusive.
The earliest memory I have of him is at six years old, and he was beating me for falling asleep before dinner was ready! Some of the stuff was just ridiculous and i don’t even want to remember. My parents were separated and eventually all my siblings left home and i was left there alone to endure the violence. I hated him and at some point wished he would die so i could live a peaceful life.
He spoke horrible words into our lives instead of blessing us, i think some of the things that have happened to me and my siblings were as a result of the things he used to tell us.
I now realize he was just a man who had a difficult childhood as well but the damage is deep and done. For mothers out there, if you cant live with the man who is your husband, how do you let your children live with him?
I din’t stand up when those who have been hurt by their fathers were asked to,but i pray to God that somehow he will give me the strength to forgive him and let go. I believe he did love us, his children though we will never know
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March 10, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Pastor S. Thank you for an amazing insightful sermon. I am a 32 year old man. For me when you said sorry on behalf of the fathers it brought tears to my eyes, I had to step away to compose myself (laughs). My father was present physically but like for most parents his generation he dealt with me was thru the beatings to get me back to line, ok I was the perenial rebel so it was mostly deserved, but this brought about alot of fear in my life and my rebel behaviour was a front for trying to seek his approval, it’s amazing that even now I’m trying to seek his approval and feel like I’m still not getting it. But over the last one year I have come to realise that I need to forgive him but in as much as I had forgiven, I realised that I had not let it go coz I know that he would never say that he was sorry, he feels that he did the best job he could.He has tried to have a relationship with me but I have felt that he did not lay the foundation for a reletionship with me coz he has not bothered to get to know me for who I am. Your message and interview on Sunday made me appreciate that my relationship with God needed to change that he was not my earthly father and that He loves me as I am and I prayed that the hold that my anger and fear have had over my life be let go. I want to embrace and become a better man,the man that God intended me to me not only for myself but also for the woman that I love. The journey continues by God’s grace. Thanks Pastor Simon and God bless
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March 10, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Paps still stuck in his ways and with his sons pierrcing their ears and braiding their hair I guess he despiced the pink state the men in his house were in. He was a controlling man and other times just passive. I was mad for years of beign beaten but when we talked last christmas I saw another side of my paps that I never seen before. He is a real mwanaume! I nolonger strive to please him anymore and we can actually have a conversation. I have a great dad
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March 10, 2009 at 2:16 pm
sayari,
The phrase ” we accept you as you are” in Mavuno is really being taken for granted.I joined Mavuno about one year ago and i fell in love with church for the first time in my life.I came as i was and i have made great great friends,God turned my life 180 degrees, i really needed that cahnge for the better.Now……. i knew that even if the church accepted me as i was, i needed to grow, i needed to let God work on me to bring the change that i so earnestly desired.So i think most of us are not willing to be honest enough with ourselves…we have refused to grow,reason being we are so scared of the pain of change,but just to encourage you and anyone else who may be in this situation or whichever difficult situation, God is able, just go naked before Him and ask HiM TO SORT YOU OUT and my beloveds HE WILL, HE WILL.lets not water down the word of God coz if God had looked at us and had decided to let us do whatever we wanna, then the death of Jesus on the cross to save us from sin would have been in vain… let us not bring a curse on ourselves by being stubborn.
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March 10, 2009 at 2:32 pm
wow I love the interaction…Sayari don’t get us wrong, God loves you but He hates sin and saying that Homosexuality is sin is prejudicial is like saying calling murder a sin is prejudicial. Scripture is not interepreted differently as it is the Holy Spirit that interptrets scripture to us. The Holy Spirit would never condone sin…i know there are churches that have condoned it but i personally would not condone it but i would still love the person. We should be wary of worldly wisdom that does accept it as norm and approves of it, instead we should look for the wisdom that comes from above which first is the fear of God…when you fear God, which in this case refers to holy reverence, you do as His word says. The first chapter of Romans 1: 24-27 is very clear on homosexuality and lesbianism.
” 24 Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, 25 who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.”
Unfortunately, scripture is very clear on this and i personally cannot condone it. you may want to discuss this further with our pastors who are more than willing…
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March 10, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Viv,
thanks for ya posting. However, I think U meant that FORTUNATELY, scripture is very clear on this…. (see the last paragraph above)
I think that if scripture was not clear on homosexuality, then we could have felt the justification to interpret it the way we want, AND especially on this matter.
May the Lord continue to rebuke, correct, train us in righteousness. AMEN!
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March 10, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Hi all, am amazed by how relevant and personal God’s message was.
I encourage you all that are still struggling with forgiveness – let go, AND LET GOD heal you. See ua dad as a victim too, one who needs help rather than condemnation as we read.
@ I just want to be free – pls get in touch with me on my personal email: simonm@mavunochurch.org. Same goes to Uhura – email will be easier than phone cos we can talk some. Pls give them this email.
MK – glad to hear of your desire to recommit your life to Christ. Mizizi, as advised wd be great experience. But meanwhile, pls come to the Prayer tent behind the dome on sunday for prayer.
@ Rose – not naming your child after dad cannot be a worth curse, you honor your parents in the Lord.
@ Wams, we will be saying something about single mums..
@Sayari. Thanks for sharing. God does love you, and we do not condemn you. I think the blog may not be the best place to get to the bottom of what you raised. I would be more than glad to have a chart on this.
Am so glad you desire to know God, like the rest of us. Mum said it so well, God has a way of revealing the truth to us. Pls write to me on my personal email and lets get talking. Will be waiting, God’s blessings and thanks all.
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March 10, 2009 at 5:19 pm
walalala pasi you got me there i never thought the wounds of our fathers go that deep.I was wounded by my mum and dad was always there for me and all of us his children we always run to him for any kind of support we needed and he always saw rhe best in his childern tho now i get to understand better that he is a pink man he always hid in his cocoon and that left alot of things unfinished but i thank God that we as his kids heard him say the three little words i love you and am proud of you despite your faults.Thank you for your word on sun and i pray that my husband will not wound his children as i saw pain in alot of people on sun.Please bring one on mothers.You are a blessing to all of us and may God bless you and your family abundately.
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March 10, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Pastor S, you are a blessing to us men.
Sunday’s message was a turning point for me.
The father wound is deep for most men n its true most men were raised up or have been raised up by their mums.
For me i have a father who expects me to be like him and do what he does just like his father (my grandfather).
I have sometimes felt i don’t have a father even though he is still alive. Every time we meet its just hi and it ends there.
My father never showed me any love ourightly and being born btwn sisters made it worse for me coz they got all the love.
The only gift i got from my father was a pair of socks after not performing well in my std 4 exams.
He didn’t even remember my birthday its like it never existed to him n my sisters birthdays were full of gifts.
i grew up watching him beat my mother n there was even a time we had ran away with my mother n sisters to start a new life without him but we went back after dialogue though things became slightly better.
I could not be like him coz he was not my role model n that was where we fell out until i had to move out hoping things would be better but its still the same.
I have always prayed for my father regardless of his nature n i still do pray for him but am not ready to confront him yet. How can i do this??
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March 10, 2009 at 7:53 pm
dear Pastor,
After that sermon i went home feeling like so many wounds had been opened up.The sad reality for me is that i have always longed for a relationship with my dad.He is however reluctant to have a meaningful relationship with any of us.
Our family has gone through a lot of issues yaani but i don’t have the courage to sit him down and tell him how sometimes i feel bad that i cant even approach him even for advise.
he instilled the fear of God in us yaani.we fear him.so how can i overcome this?we have never had a relationship and sometimes to me he is a stranger.i fear that this fear will eventually result to resentment and i dont want to miss heaven because of that..
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March 11, 2009 at 8:48 am
Hi,
Am a journalist with one of the local T.V. stations. For long I have heard about Mavuno church, and always wanted to ‘check you guys out’.
Well, I did ‘check you out’ last sunday, and WOW did I got CHECKED!!
The ‘doctor’ was in the house, with the sermon I so needed to hear. I have not seen my dad in 13 years, he went to the states to study…..and never came back
When I needed him during my birthdays….he was not there……when I started dating, and needed a FATHER to show me ‘the ropes’…..he was not there…
For long, I thought I was independent, that I didn’t need my dad. I developed this “INDEPENDENT” mentality. To a point I started hating him for not being there, and concluded, that is how my father is.
After Sunday’s sermon, am a changed man.
Pastor, you touched my heart….
MY GOD BLES YOU AND THE ENTIRE MAVUNO FAMILY, AND WELCOME THOSE OF US WHO ARE PLANNING ON MAKING MAVUNO OUR HOME
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March 11, 2009 at 9:14 am
@ Pastor S. – Thanks you are an instrument of honor in God’s Hands. Your message got home on sunday and i stood up for prayer since I have held a grudge against my father who died 16yrs ago. As I was soaked in tears i released him and forgave him for having been so harsh and abusive to us- and though he got saved b4 dying, I’ve always told myself how I’ll just say hi and walk when i bump into him in heaven. I now realise he too was a victim – of his pride, of culture that had told him that that was being man enough, of ignorance and so much more! clearly he didn’t know better.
@ Sayari – Thanks for finding courage to share this with us. I prayed for you earnestly yestarday that the Lord may reveal himself to you in a very clear way and show you that you are on the wrong highway.
Your mum is a loving lady, virtous woman of God – may God give her even more strength.
Finally i asked God for a word for you and this is what He laid in my heart;
Isaiah 30:18, The LORD waits for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for him to help them.
Listen to vs 20-21 Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and affliction for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes, and you will hear a voice say, ‘THIS IS THE WAY; TURN AROUND AND WALK HERE’.
@ Simply me; you can mobilise us again to pray for sayari like we did for sad one.
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March 11, 2009 at 9:59 am
Pastor S, You are a great man of God! I know I keep telling you but allow me to say it again! You are a special blessing to us and may God heap abundant blessings on you and your family!
Sunday’s sermon was long overdue for me! I never thought that I had a father wound but it became so clear that I did! I lost my dad when I was 11 and being the only girl we were really close. I was his shadow and I loved him so much. He passed away a few days after my 11th birthday on his way home to cut my birthday cake with us and I was in deep denial. I only realized how deep the denial was on Sunday! I have looked for affirmation from friends, always wanting to hold on to them even when they don’t treat me right just so I don’t lose them. I have also looked to men to affirm me and every time I date a guy Im looking for my dad in them. Wa! this was quite the revelation and it felt so good to just cry and let go of Dad after 17 years! Gods grace is surely sufficient for me!
I thank God that we belong to a real church where we can come and lay our burdens and be transformed. I am humbled beyond words at what God is doing in our lives! That we can even have a forum like this to encourage each other is just a gift from him.
@ Sayari, God loves you! He loves you so so much!! you are his and nothing can change that. He is longing for you to come to him and let him show you the way. My sincere prayer for you is that he may become so real to you! That you may feel his loving embrace as he transforms you. God bless you.
@ mavunites… let us continue to hold each other up in prayer and watch as God comes through for us in a Major way. Gods love and blessings!
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March 11, 2009 at 10:34 am
People, I strongly suggest that we commit ourselves to pray for and encourage our pastors and each other. The matters shared are really weighty and heart-rending; anyone would cave in gradually under their weight. My heart goes out to every man and woman in our generation that has encountered the Father Wound and been scarred by it’s effect.
In giving, we receive. In our brokenness, we are restored when we turn away from our own pain and reach out to other people in their hurt. Imperfect saints make wonderful vessels of restoration. Christ loves cracked pottery. Let’s commit ourselves to reaching out to each other in encouragement and prayer, and see God secue our own healing in due season. AND let’s never forget to pray for and each out to our pastors to encourage them and help lift their burdens as God gives us the ability and opportunity to do so.
God bless and enrich you all greatly, and I really mean it.
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March 11, 2009 at 2:03 pm
@Klippetty-klop….hurrah hurrah hurrah. You say you’ve not masturbated since Feb 13….good job. Years to come you’ll encourage others who are about to lose hope in the battle and you’ll tell them it’s been years and years and that fighting that addiction is possible. I love the way you confess every morning. There’s a lesson there for all of us who may be fighting one addiction or another or for us who constantly strive to live our lives bringing honour to God’s name….confess every day when you wake up that you will do nothing to bring shame to God’s name. Blessings y’all.
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March 11, 2009 at 2:06 pm
@ sayari,
i understand your point, but remember that god created man and woman to complete each other. otherwise, he would have created only males or only females. in the first place, he would have given adam a man like him. homosexuallity is a spirit brought by the devil through many ways one being the past experiences. i would accommodate any one with this but not encourage. i would preach jesus. we all try to follow christ’s ways and not ways created by men. for a church to be a church, it has to preach what is right and mavuno has a real people’s church, it looks on issues and solutions to this issues.god loves all. he came for people with issues not for angels and we as mavuno, have issues hence, god came for us. lets all look up onto him as simon did and he will solve our issues.
god bless you all
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March 11, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Pastor S was dropping bombs with laser guided precision, taking no prisoners. He is a real blessing!
Mavuno Church is one of the most dynamic and relevant churches in the nation and has the potential for a global appeal.I do see one sticking point though. Traditionally churches throughout Kenya have depended and refered to the pastor for the spiritual, emotional and psychological needs. As human beings are made of mind body and sprit,.I think the healing process is limited to the pastors training and experience. Prayer does play a critical part in achieving ones objectives,even though one who wants to get fit needs to find a personal trainer, one who has a severe physical wound need a doctor. I may not be a psychologist, but the leadership in Mavuno, from the Life group leaders to the Pastors need to team with mental health professionals to provide a holistic approach to healing. Are we man enough to ask for help.
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March 11, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Until Sunday’s sermon i never thought i could be saying that i have a father’s wound, but when Pastor S was listing down the 4 types of fathers it hit me so hard that i started tearing! I have a father who loves me that he would kill for me and he’s also a perfectionist! My dad would always watch how i walk and tell me that’s not the way a lady supposed to walk, my hair, he could give me money i go for a haircut plus maintenance because as he would say, a lady’s hair is supposed to be in place, i loved this kind of attention and more so coming from my dad—i did everything to make sure i don’t offend my fav person in the universe!
Then something happened that i have never thought about till Sunday—when I started started working my dad sort of pulled off–all the attention I had, the little girl who was confused whether she was still a girl or a woman was left with no one to look up to! This left me in a situation where the kind of men i go for are the ones who appreciate how neat my hair is, how well i dress, sometimes i end up staying with a man even when he doesn’t respect me, as long he appreciates how neatly I have put myself together, am happy! he kept reminding me of daddy!
I felt like my dad left me at a very vulnerable time when i needed his guidance on the kind of woman who was coming out of me. I could do anything to get his attention like dressing in a quite expensive clothes (even when i knew under normal circumstances i couldn’t afford to buy them) so that i can only hear those words again, but nothing…i could sob in front of him for nothing so that he can tell me whether that is appropriate of a lady or not, but it never happened! I have hanged on relationships which have no meaning to me for that one simple reason. My dad’s words of how i should carry myself as a lady!
I have since realised that i need to let go, i know he did this out of love, maybe he got scared and didnt know what to do now that his little girl has matured i have no doubt about his love, at 31 he still refers me to his doll, but i think i need to make him know that i have matured so that i can also make it known to myself that i have matured as well. Am believing God that the next man who comes to my life appreciates me for my inner beauty and not my hair/well-done make up or clothes.
God bless you Pastor S and all Mavunites.
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March 11, 2009 at 7:19 pm
am amazed at how much God is walking and working in our midst, reading through the blog feels like those days when jesus was on earth and guys came to him with questions..like can i divorce my wife, etc. and He gave answers based on Scripture and on the Heart of the Father.
He healed, he fed, he encouraged and he rebuked. God is in our midst. i have read of people encouraged, rebuked, being prayed for and bearing out their issues like the mama who had the issue of blood. i feel so privileged.
i continue to pray for Sayari.
@ all with Father Wounds..i didn’t realise the magnitude, my father has been in my life in an extremely positive fashion. we’re in prayer together. (@ Simply me..better tell when-date and time:-).
i have been coming to Mavuno/chapel forever, and what i have consistently heard from Pastor M, is that the purpose is not for Pastor M..or S or any of the Pastors to meet our needs, but for us as a congregation to be there for one another.
i thank God soo much for the family of faith
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March 11, 2009 at 10:24 pm
@ undercover christian
ever heard of people with psychic powers??
let me define psychology for you.
psychology is from the root word…meaning study of the soul.
for you to advice someone to go and seek counsel from here is just wrong.
pators and spiritual leaders in the church have what is called anointing(i can define anointing but it will sound very spiri) which overrides their training and experience when people come to them for help.
aother reasons i think why why people go to pastors for help is coz they are looking for truth.
I’ve read a bit of psychology and i find some if not most of the material to be crap!!!for example;psychologists teach that your environment causes your thoughts, which cause your actions and so you become. so if you grew up in a hostile environment you can’t help but think and act hostile.
God’s word teaches that as a man thinks so is he.therefore it’s your responsibility not others/environment’s fault that’s causing you to act the way you do in life.
i believe God has equipped our pastors for the work He has called them to do.i trust that when faced with a challenge, they know when to call others on board if not from the onset.
had a great time on Sun.
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March 11, 2009 at 10:41 pm
@undercover christian
ever heard of people with psychic powers?
psychology is derived from the root word…(hint it’s Greek).do a little bit of history of pyschology while your at it that you may feel me when i say that recommending for people to go for help here is just wrong!!!
i’ve read a bit of psychology and this is my conviction (thank God for blogging i can say whatever i want) bout it-some of the material if not all is CRAP!!
pick a situation(problem) and try see how psychology teaches to resolve and compare it with what God’s word says bout it. so my first reason why i recommend guys to go to pastors is coz i think guys what truth and psychology can’t give absolute truth.
i also believe pastors and spiritual leaders in church have the anointing(check the def that we may be on the same page)that overrides their training and experience when dealing with peole.
i believe God has given our pastors at mavuno the needed skills to help the people that come their way and i trust they know when to call for assistance.
Sunday service was plot!!! i have a great relationship with my dad and i thank God for that.
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March 12, 2009 at 2:33 am
Thank you pastor S. Thanks also to the mavunites who have shared so openly and honestly. Im always amazed at how much we learn and grow from each other. God bless you all.
@kenyannutcase
Let me preface by saying, I’m very wary of things that seem to dabble in the spiritual, but are not rooted in God’s word such as hypnosis, psychoanalysis, etc.
That said, I don’t think undercover christian’s idea of suggesting other intervention (in addition to spiritual counselling), in this case or any other, is completely ‘psycho’ (pun intended).
I believe God has equipped people, including Christians, in different ways for the edification of the church. For instance, If I’m physically ill and visit a doctor, it does not nullify the power of God to heal through prayer, etc. Infact, I will go for prayer at church and if I have to go to the doctor, I will trust God to give them wisdom to find and repair what ails me.
Psychology is a science and like any other science, its based on experiments and some facts. However, it is not a truth, and it’s certainly
not THE ULTIMATE TRUTH. But if you think about it, you could pray for someone who has been through abuse or trauma, but they will still need someone to talk to about their experience so they can face it and begin to heal from it. It doesn’t have to be a psychologist, it could be a grief counsellor, or a social worker. These are not spiri titles, but there is a skill they have been trained in i.e. listening, asking the right questions so the person can open up, etc. It doesn’t replace or take away from the pastors role, it just complements it, so we shouldn’t be too quick to write off additional intervention.
I do agree with your statement at the end, that the pastors at Mavuno have the skills to deal with the issues that come to them and if not, they would know when to bring in additional assistance if needed.
Many christians suffer in silence because they believe it is wrong or unspiritual to seek help other than at church. Be it victims of domestic violence, sexual abuse or even people with mental disorders such as schizophrenia, etc. I say the church MUST be involved, God FIRST, then whatever additional intervention is needed alongside prayers.
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March 12, 2009 at 6:12 am
@ Klippety Klop.
I don’t know how to say this but to say thank you for your candidness.
Why? until last year November, i was seeing a married man. Yeah, i know i shouldn’t have, but even i don’t know how i did. I started coming to Mavuno, praying about it and yeah, things started happening. He got another job so he wasn’t constantly there and then just drifted away. I haven’t seen him since November. Guess what? He resurfaced jana. He knows i have a weak spot for him and it’s really hard to “just say no”. So we went for a ride and in his mind we were going to have sex. Do you know, all i kept remembering is your testimony: Just for today, let me get out of it. Just for today. I won’t worry about how i’ll make it tomorrow but just for today, if God could provide a way, I’ll take it. So we drove around and at the end of it all, I got right back home without sinning.
Before someone says i shouldn’t have been in the car in the first place, let me pre-empt and say: i agree.
The point of this shortened story is this: your testimony helped me get out of that. “Trust God for just today”. One of the reasons i have failed in the past is i want to know how i’ll make it sex free for the next “x” number of months. That’s not for me to know. I just have to trust Him to take me through today.
In addition, i really thank God for Mavuno. There’s nothing like fellowship to keep one rooted…rather connected and determined at a goal.
Thank you Klippety-Klop and God bless you.
B.
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March 12, 2009 at 9:13 am
Hi,
The father wound…………that topic sounds very simple and to some it is so easily said…..but to me it is a sharp edged knife because it is what i have never wanted to hear….
You talk of generation curse……….. it all starts with the father wound…….. I have been brought up by a single mum in a family of four and my mother was everything…….. a strong willed mum who taught us that we could make it even without a father……. am now 34yrs a mother of four and apparently separated….. father wound!!!!! my father deserted us at tender ages and we have all grown up to be just like our mum……my kids dad deserterd them at tender ages and guess what they are wounded now more than we were……i have so much bitterness on how “MEN” will never take up responsibilities.
I still have never forgiven my dad……..what i just said my dad………..no the man who deserted us…….. this man left our home and never came back to visit never bought me a pencil he never left me any memories, the next time i ever heard of him was when he died and i had to go view a body i felt no attachement to…. he died even without asking to see his onw kids…. even without telling us why he never loved us….all my chilhood, and adult life i have maintained only friends who dont have fathers so i dont have to hear my father this my father that……….. even in my marriage i was never respected by my inlaws because all they said is………. i was never brought up with a man figure in the house and therefore was never taught good manners….. and guess what Pastor S……. MY CHILDREN WILL GO THROUGH WHAT I AM GOING THROGUH….. these are some but afew examples of how my heart will never forgive the man who deserted us. But i hope and pray that the father wound will one day be a thing of the past…..one day one time
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March 12, 2009 at 10:10 am
@B You made me laugh this morning for you were quick to pre-empt what i was wondering.
Am happy for you and would like to encourage you- though you may not be where you want to be, but hey atleast you are not where you used to be! and that’s a great milestone I cheer you on!
God loves us so much that though we come as we are He doesn’t want to leave us that way. You have the power inside to say no.
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March 12, 2009 at 11:27 am
@ B….I praise God for you. I am also having to take the one day at a time approach to certain issues in my life, and I thank God for testimonies such as yours.
I get like a daily devotional from Joel Osteen ministries and what was shared today seemed very timely:
He Makes Up the Difference
Today’s Scripture
“…for when I am weak [in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful in divine strength)” (II Corinthians 12:10, AMP).
Today’s Word from Joel and Victoria
No matter what weakness you think you may have, no matter what inadequacies or setbacks you’ve encountered, God wants to give you His divine strength. He wants to make up the difference and put you further ahead than you ever thought possible. One time in the Old Testament, God simply multiplied the sound of four men’s footsteps and caused them to sound like a mighty army. When their enemies heard them, they took off running. There were thousands of enemy troops running for their lives, scared to death, thinking they were being attacked by a massive army when in fact it was just four people! What happened? God made up the difference.
Friend, God can make you seem bigger than you really are. He can make you look more powerful. He knows how to multiply your influence, multiply your strength, your talent and your income. You don’t have to figure it all out; all you have to do is put your trust in Him. If you will release your faith for a supernatural year and wake up every day expecting God’s far and beyond favor, then you’re going to see God show up and make the difference in every area of your life!
A Prayer for Today
Heavenly Father, today I commit every area of my life to You. I trust that You will make up the difference and supply everything I need to fulfill Your purposes in my life. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
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March 12, 2009 at 11:46 am
@ sayari
i hadn’t read your blog coz it was really long.
i’ve done somereading to check out where you coming from.i’ve read the speech by David Russel delivered in September2002 when passing resolution39 of CPSU (church of province of South Africa).
most of the debate cames from the Lambeth Resolution that saw Gene Robison be ordained as agay bishop (most guys will remember this).i want to however point some other readings from the same debators before i give my ponits.
please readthe Windsor report and the Archbishop of Cantenbury letters to the Primates.
pete ward(advisor to the archbishop hassome great thoughts also) also read David Russells history.
my take.you are right.being gay is not sickness, a disorder….and all that.this is the word.it’s sin.
just like lying.stealing.coveting.God loves sinners(yes homos also) but HATES sin(homosexuality).
it’s this sin that separates us from a love relationship with God.God made a way out by sending His son Jesus to die in our place (coz sin leads to death) that we may have eternal life.
dude homosexuals have been around for 5000years and they were during Jesus time.trust me God’s stand has not changed.
i’d love to participate in a forum with you.
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March 12, 2009 at 12:35 pm
WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE??
I’m certain if such a chain was started on this blog, we’d never hear the end of it! I’m sure almost everyone would sign up, myself included! Well, I must admit that there’s lots of people going through lots of pain due to the father wound, all evidence to the many DEEP situations highlighted here. Makes my heart bleed, when I see how the devil is ruthlessly attacking our generation, day by day. There’s lots of lies out there, and false reports from all quarters. But as Pastor Muriithi would very boldly put it, with such a gentle look on his face, “THERE IS HOPE!”
@ Queen E, Missie and the rest who suggested we stand together in prayer, I’m man enough to say YES WE SHALL! We can’t sit and do nothing, while many among us suffer (or should I say face challenges) like they are. Why should we watch the devil triumph over our brothers & sisters? I dare ask you today, Who’s report will you believe? There’s lots of testimonies of pain, suffering & unforgiveness, but there’s also lots of victorious testimonies. THE DEVIL IS DEFEATED IN JESUS’ NAME!
Like I said the last time, “where two or three are gathered in God’s name, He’s right there in their midst.” Guys, prayer does change things. I have constantly seen it in my life. I propose we stand together in prayer yet again tomorrow, Friday 13th March from 1.15pm to 1.45pm as we go about our respective businesses, to present those amongst us who are “facing challenges” in one way or another before God. Anyone interested in joining us, wherever you may be, unakaribishwa. Very many of us need these chains broken; chains of hatred, pain, unforgiveness, addictions, etc. It’s time to face them HEAD-ON, trusting God to sort them out, for He indeed is more than ABLE! Do you feel me?
@ Sad one, talk to us. Share the good news with us. I’m sure God’s already working on your situation. The victory is definately yours! Just believe and receive.
@ Sayari, though I’m not sure whether you’re the one getting challenged by homosexuality (your comments don’t reveal much), we’re on it! We’ll pray for God to reveal Himself to you and tell you (whether you’re the one or not) what He has to say as pertains to that subject, in a crystal clear way. Pay attention to your dear mum’s advice. It’s just a matter of time.
@ B and anyone else in any kind of negative situation, as someone put it, one day at a time…….just one day at a time. The victory is so sweet!
@ All who will be joining, as we present to God those getting challenged by the mentioned stuff or any other, let’s not forget to also give thanks to Him; for the heroes among us, who are still soldiering on one day at a time, experiencing constant victory; for the heroes among us, who purpose to live right before God one day at a time. As Pastor Muriithi once said, “let’s walk far by walking with others.” Together we shall be victorious.
I dare ask, WHO WANTS TO BE A VICTOR? See you tomorrow in the spirit y’all!
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March 12, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Woohoo…more victory stories.
@B…good job. I’m proud of you girl. You have reminded me of the verse that says “Resist the devil and he will flee from you”. That’s the way to do it….one day at a time.
@Klippety Klop….see…you’re a blessing to many through your testimony.
To all….Let’s hear some more victory stories so that we can encourage one another. Yani…this life is possible. It’s time to show the world that the lie it has always fed humans “we can’t help ourselves, that’s how we are” is just that…a lie. Reminds me of Casting Crown’s song “Voice of truth”.
@sayari….so which way forward….with all the truth that has been sent your way….let’s hear your take on things. I hope you’ve grasped the essence of the messages…..you are loved. Now love yourself enough not to shortchange yourself in this life.
On a different note….we’ve been talking about the father wound….I won’t touch that coz I have it too….what I want to touch on is the mother wound. Is there anyone out there who might be in a situation like mine where you are supporting your mother entirely and sometimes you feel thoroughly unappreciated….like you are not doing enough…even after you’ve bent backwards to do so? Sometimes the pain I feel is so real I feel like my heart is bleeding for real. Don’t get me wrong…she’s a wonderful person and everyone who meets her likes her but I don’t know….she just knows how to press my buttons. The one thing that drives me nuts is when I hear the words “Don’t say you’re broke. You’re broke coz you confess it” which leaves me wondering what I should say when I actually don’t have money. Someone encouraged me recently when I was seriously thinking that there is something wrong with me (why am I always irritable around her)….this person told me that since I’ve been taking care of her like since I started earning then our roles have changed…I’ve become the parent and she the child and this has broken the relationship….so anytime she tries to enforce her authority over me as my mother and ends up making me feel like I’m 15 (I’m 36) then something in me boils. Is this making sense. So yeah….are there people suffering a mother wound…..(do fathers behave the same when you support them entirely?)
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March 12, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Daddy:
As I sat under the tent on Sunday, listening to that eye-opening sermon by Pastor S. A few thoughts of my past life sprung up and I thought to share with us.
Growing up with a single parent (my dad), life was quite incomplete in many ways, not that I knew what was missing. You see, my birth mum died when I was a year and two months old, and my small bro was just a month old.
I have grown up not knowing the love of a mother at least for the past about 36 years. I thank God because through and through, He was there all along and I did not know that until 7 years ago when I received Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and saviour.
As a boy growing up, I couldn’t express myself very well and often when my dad would confront me to ask me why I behaved the way I do, I began to cry. Now that I think about it, it may have been because I missed my mother sana but could not put it in words.
Enough about that, some time later when I was about 23 years old, my dad took a hold of me and my brother and told us that before our mum died, she asked him to take good care of us. Years later, when I was approximately 30 years old, one of my birth mum’s sister told me that when we were small, my dad came to visit us at our maternal grand-mother’s home and as it were, he took us with him back to Gilgil (2nd Brigade). For the next many years, together with our paternal grand-mother, we lived in Gilgil.
I really thank God for my dad, who despite his current circumstances then, took us under his wing and never looked back.
We were brought up the military way i.e. we paid for our faults each and every time we went astray. I think his favourite Bible verse was the one that says, ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’, because he did not spare the rod at all.
And it is true because as much as parents sometimes feel sorry for that child when they are being whipped, it eventually pays off. This is because, as the Bible states, ‘Foolishness is bound in a child’s heart, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.’
I know my dad was not the perfect dad, but it meant a lot for him to do what he did while we were under his authority. I remember a certain T.V. program called ‘The A-Team’ which my dad also enjoyed watching with us back then. He used to refer to us as the ‘The A-Team’.
You have to understand, my dad never spoke much to us, but the few words he spoke will forever ring in my mind.
Before I forget, I was raised Catholic and my dad was an altar boy when he was young (during colonial times). However, as much as he is a devout Roman Catholic, I remember telling him one Sunday that I was going to be baptized as an adult. That news was not received very well by him, but he told me, “You are a grown man now; you make your own decisions.” Whether it offended him or not, I am thankful to God that my dad also gave us the liberty to do what was right, regardless of how he felt about it.
The Bible says that God is the Father of the fatherless. I add this because unlike me, there are those in our midst that only had or have a mother figure. God says He is their Father.
And for those fathers who find themselves with children, whether because of their own mistakes or because of a mishap, be encouraged because the same God who saw my dad through what he went through, is more than able to come through for you.
God bless you.
Martin.
…think about it…
Old Testament:
• `Which child was raised by a very harsh father, but still became great as an adult, and was used mightily by God? (Not Moses)
• Which man born of two human parents, did not have a mum or a dad?
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March 12, 2009 at 2:20 pm
@ Martin,
Yours is an amazing story. Most men, especially those of the older generation, were more than happy to shed off any excess ‘baggage’, i.e. children, especially young ones. Your father is proof that good Godly men who take their responsibility seriously still exist. He may not have been perfect, no one is, but he was a father to you and your siblings. Thanks for sharing and God Bless your father.
@ Simply me, once again I’m priviledged to be part of a prayer team of warriors tomorrow. God Bless.
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March 12, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Hey people
its interesting how alike we are.Looking good on the outside,but total messes on the inside.Thanks Pastor s.I believe God is healing us.
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March 12, 2009 at 3:30 pm
thank you simply me.will do
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March 12, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Dear Pastor S,
Last Sunday was my second time at Mavuno. I can say that the sermon really touched me in a way I have never felt before.
I have a fatherwound, have known for a while, but have never had it enumerated the way you did on Sunday.
One of my resolves is to work on healing it by bringing together my siblings and approaching my dad to forgive him and ask for his forgiveness so that we all can receive our blessings. Hopefully then we will move on and live full lives and forge healthy relationships.
Thank you for your God given insight and may He continue blessing you to inspire us to a morally right path in life.
Than you!
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March 12, 2009 at 3:34 pm
that is, Thank you!
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March 12, 2009 at 5:52 pm
hi guys, its amazing how passy’s sermons have been real and personal. many guys have contributed but i think i should clear the air on some few issues and ask passy to do the same.apart from the father wound i also struggling with feelings for dudes.it was not my fault that someone took advantage of me when i was 7years. some guys are saying that we are trying to condone the behaviour and accept gays.NO. I myself don’t. and we don’t want Mavuno to be a place where we say that were welcoming gays.all am saying is that we should understand where someone is coming from and empathise.secondly, someone mentioned about sodom and gommorrah and how we should not welcome such thoughts into Mavuno.one thing i have learnt is to read things in context.sodom was totally different.men refused women and wanted men.i can vouch for myself. i dont ati go out and look for them aggressively.infact i’m a bit laid back.i just struggle with such thoughts, yes at times would want to be with one..thirdly, maybe passy can shed some light on this.the support group is for guys who are victims of abuse from other guys and not a homophobic support group.over to you passy.thanks
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March 12, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Dear Pastor S,
Sincerely speaking, the sermon on father wound really touched my heart. I got a child over over 20 years ago. This child never got to meet the dad at all. The child kept asking about the father mpaka akachoka. The reason why I did not allow the child to meet the father is because I learned much later that the guy had a wife and a 2 year old son. This wife came from one of our neighbouring countries and the guy’s parents had not approved her for their son so they kept telling the guy to marry from his people, so he landed on me. I understand he used miti chamba (kamuti) to trap me coz he never gave me time to learn more of him but he knew my background and that is why he tried all means to get me.
A few months after I got the child the guy’s wife went back to her country and the guy went ahead and married another girl since I had refused to marry him coz he did not tell me the truth from the beginning and the fact that he tried all means to trap me na pia alikuwa mtu wa wanawake wengi (in short, he was a player). Later my eyes openned and I was not for the idea of marriage.
The guy passed on ten years later and left the young wife with about 4 kids.
My question is “Is it ok to tell my child what happened that I did not marry the father and could be introduce the child to the Auncles, Aunties, Grandpa, Grandma etc to clear the father wound from the heart of the child and may be give the child a chance to forgive the father even if he is dead. Please advise me because I am disturbed on this issue of father wound.
K
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March 12, 2009 at 7:20 pm
@ undercover christian
Thanks for your message, you are a Godsend. Your post is a sign for me that I need to continue my journey of healing with a professional psychologist.
At times I feel like the ghosts of my past are pulling me back and i cant make any progress, because my emotional problems are spilling over into my personal and spiritual life. I need a specialist to help me understand myself so i can be a better person.
I think what most people may not understand is that psychologists go through medical school, and they are very well grounded scientifically. They study the human mind and behaviour so they can offer solutions.
@david
Am glad you are keeping on blogging, i think you are already healing because you understand yourself and you know where you want to go. God bless. You will make it.
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March 12, 2009 at 8:57 pm
@ simply me
will join you in prayers.
@christian girl
i trust that you’ll find the healing you need and enjoy a victorious christian life.will keep you in my prayers.
psychologists are not scientists.even clinical psychologists need to have studied medicine.just like a teacher who did Bed for undergrad then branched to medicine will be can be called a clinical teacher.
ama am wrong you enlighten me which university in the world train psychology with medicine as part of the curriculum?
psychiatrists are doctors though.
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March 12, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Hi all,
Reading this blog is great …and hard at the same time. I feel bad for all the pain out there. Will be in prayer with you all. Oddly- it brings to mind the Coldplay song- fix you. that’s my prayer- that God fixes us, for we all have so many messes inside, but He is able to fix us.
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March 13, 2009 at 12:14 am
pastor S
I must say you poured salt into the wounds last week but it dried up the wounds and closed them up. After a dad who was violent to my sons violent father to me having streaks of violence as a woman you just cleared my doubts. And you know what I grew up being told you’re just like your father – now I feel like a curse was laid on me and guess what I was daddys little girl but it messed me up. Having spent nights out in the cold with my mum and other siblings did not help either it just made me a bitter person to my parents and I brought myself up after I turned 18 seeking no opinion from my parents and making my mistakes and learning from them. I don’t know what it feels like for a dad to say I love you my daughter or that he cares for me and the men I met along the way didn’t help either as I searched for a man to love me. But guess what I met Jesus along the way and my heavenly father and I know I’m loved. My parental healing started last year when I committed my life to christ 100 percent. Its me who now says I love you mum and dad. Its me who thanks God for them because I can’t want to have another set of parents. I have a story of hope to tell, I have peace not loneliness, I do not seek out meaningless reaffirmation from men in the name of love and quick pill to kill loneliness. I have a father who provides love and direction and he’s given me a life manual called the Bible. I was inconsolable at the end of the sermon wondering how I was going to ask for blessings from a father who suffers alzeihmers but I worship a true God and I believe my dad will feel me when I meet him. Every sunday I pray for his healing. Thank you for closing up my father wounds. As you preached I wondered whether you could really understand what you were doing by opening all this up I had numbed myself to pain what I didn’t know is the overall effect it had on me as a woman. I shall always dwell on Psalm 139 you’re blessed of the Lord and we shall live to honor and glorify his name. Asante
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March 13, 2009 at 8:53 am
@ thekenyannutcase
Am woman enough to say i will go and see a shrink. If there is help available i will get it. Am not too spiritual not to acknowledge my weaknesses and if there is someone who has studied the human mind and behaviour who can help me make sense of all my issues, i am in. And thanks again undercover christian.
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March 13, 2009 at 9:10 am
christian gal. i hear you and am glad you are woman enough to acknowledge that you have issues like we all do that need sorting out so that we can heal and grow to what GOD has purposed for us to become. ur welcome to seek help from various institutions that i know that offer professional counseling and you can contact me on 0722525364
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March 13, 2009 at 9:13 am
christian gal. i hear you and am glad you are woman enough to acknowledge that you have issues like we all do that need sorting out so that we can heal and grow to what GOD has purposed for us to become. ur welcome to seek help from various institutions that i know that offer professional counseling and you can contact me on 0722525364
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March 13, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I have been reading the blog keenly but not written so far because my heart feels heavy with all the stuff written here.
@simply me – tuko pamoja lunch time leo. Let’s take all these wounds and weights to the Father.
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March 13, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Hi all, thanks for the very real sharing. I was out of town last Sunday but could tell that God was in the house at Mavuno! @ Klippety Klop and B, proud of you guys. You’ve stumbled on one of the most important steps when we’re on the way to healing, which is to take things one day at a time. Another important one is to break the power of the secret by having a friend keep you accountable for each day’s victory. Preferably someone who’s faith you respect and look up to. May God continue to give you much grace as you take each step at a time.
For sure the father wounds run deep and I’m convicted about the need to be a more consciously present dad. We’re praying for all those of you who are taking that difficult step with God’s help. @C.B., thanks very much for your desire to offer professional help to fellow Mavunites. Let me ask that you first introduce yourself to Pst. S, Pst. C or myself before we refer others to you.
Meanwhile, for those who are seeking a counselor to walk alongside you , two we’d be glad to recommend are Mary 0713-597520 and Oasis Africa 0725 (or 0733) 366614.
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March 13, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Its great reading the comments on this blog and God knows wonders are happening in this place. I am encouraged by the daily confessions and success stories.
I have a different though though— Since there were quite a number of fathers standing up on Sunday during the altercal, is it possible that there are fathers who are currently perpetuating the same father would to their young kids.
What measures are father at mavuno taking so they do not cause the same pain to their own kids.
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March 13, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Heavenly Father, we thank you for the time we’ve spent in your presence, and we know that you’ve heard our prayers. Thank you for all you’ve done in our lives and for all you’re going to do. We appreciate the good plans you have for us, to prosper us and never to harm us. Thanks for the victory you’ve given us in our respective situations. Thanks for those who are already walking tall, due to you fighting their battles. We’re forever grateful to you. Be glorified in our lives, and be BIG. All glory & honor belong to you. Blessed be thy holy name. We declare it DONE in Jesus’ name, Amen!
@ Heartfelt, Uhura, thekenyanutcase (nice name), Mamananii and to all else who joined us in prayer, thankyou so much for your selflesness in accepting to stand in the gap for those in our midst that are facing certain challenges. May God bless each one of you in a very special way.
@ All challenged and hurting loved ones, Rejoice, for God is on your side. I believe that we’ll very soon start hearing of great testimonies of what God is doing in our midst as we continue to seek His face. We’re definately victorious, and I mean that. One day at a time people…..one day at a time…
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March 13, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Its great reading the comments on this blog and God knows wonders are happening in this place. I am encouraged by the daily confessions and success stories.
I have a different thought though— Since there were quite a number of fathers standing up on Sunday during the altar cal, is it possible that there are fathers who are currently perpetuating the same father wound to their young kids.
What measures are father at mavuno taking so they do not cause the same pain to their own kids.
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March 13, 2009 at 3:52 pm
@ Martin :
Old Testament:
• `Which child was raised by a very harsh father, but still became great as an adult, and was used mightily by God? (Not Moses)
ABRAHAM…His father was Terah!!!!! lol
• Which man born of two human parents, did not have a mum or a dad?
JOSHUA…….Son of NUN (none)
ok…..
now to my story…..
I am a happy girl today. it was about 5 years ago when my daddy left us.i was only 19. I was hurt, felt and felt rejected. Id go see see him in his office every other day. I’d even skip class just to be where he was at.It was crazy y’all. Sometimes i thought it was my fault you know. then my daddy left Kenya and went to work elsewhere. I went to board at Uni. I missed him a lot.Later on we realized he left my mum for another woman. I was so upset. How could he do this to us.!!!! i wanted to forgive him. But he needed to hear how hurt i was. On several occasions i would begin telling him how selfish he was to leave us and not think about how we felt….which left me worse and more frustrated. I began taking it to the Lord in Prayer. I wanted to be free from the anger in totality.
Pastor Simon’s Sermon came at the right time. I had a light bulb moment. I knew that i had to do it. So i set the date to Thursday. That was yesterday. We had lunch with daddy. I told him that i was holding stuff against him and that i forgave him. I told him to forgive me for my disrespect towards him when i was angry. He told me he understood how hard it was for us as children and that he was sorry but it was his life. He said that he blesses us every morning and he would always love us as our father…………
To all the ladies and gent out there whose father has left …..we cant sort the relationship between them and our mum. we can only sort the father-daughter one or the father-son one. Take the rest to God in prayer. you dad may not tell you the details of why he left or which other family he is staying with. So when he provides for you as a father should, thats what he is. A father, not necessarily your best friend…but your father.
Emotionally we’d be drained trying to fix things…but that is not upto us. Let us bask in the Love of an everlasting Father who will never leave us nor forsake us. A father whose mercies are new every morning. A Daddy who would love us more than any other father would. A daddy who hear our cry when we call. Our Daddy in heaven is always there for us and bids us to come…..His name is God…..our eternal ever loving Father…. Proof of his love is John 3:16….sending his son Jesus to die for a sinful world…….because he wanted us to have everlasting life…. to live with Him forever…….
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March 13, 2009 at 4:54 pm
@ simply me- Thanks taking the initiative yet again. We prayed and yes i agree with you IT’S DONE! We are now walking in the newness of forgiving our fathers (i declare the wounds are drying up and healing) and in Victory of our diverse Challenges BY FAITH. God bless you
To all the men who want to be better fathers …I recommend Voddie Baucham’s book- What he must be ….If he wants to marry my daughter. On the first quality he writes;
In many areas I am willing to give and take when it comes to young men to whom I will give my blessing in pursuit of my daughter’s hand. I am willing to abide a short man, a poor man, an unattractive man, even a man who is not a Texan (Lord, forgive me). However, I cannont give my consent to a man who is not a follower of Christ.
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March 14, 2009 at 9:01 pm
It breaks my heart to read about all the people with father wounds in this blog! I am a 30 yr old lady….I have a great dad….who has spoken such great and prophetic things over my life and that of my siblngs some have come to pass and others I know they are still yet to come to pass!! and yes there are great dad’s out here….
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March 16, 2009 at 10:56 am
I was a first time visitor to Mavuno and will not be going back.
Although I enjoyed the service very much for the first 90 minutes (I was particularly impressed by the music) I had to walk out when I heard the anti-gay comments made by a male pastor whose name escapes me. To insinuate that being gay is anything but a natural (God-made) state of being is deeply offensive. Although a straight female, I have many close gay friends, none of whom were abused as children by their fathers (as your pastor implied was the only reason for the existence of homosexuality – !). You should be preaching tolerance and acceptance not false, medieval myths about homosexuality and I regret that I cannot join a congregation where untruths are preached from the pulpit.
Anna
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March 16, 2009 at 11:35 am
@ Anna,
There’s a Proverb in the Bible that says “If you know what you’re talking about, you have something more valuable than jewels.” With all due respect to your views, I think before you pass such harsh judgment (which you are), it’s better you listen to the WHOLE message, and read the comments on this blog, THEN draw your own conclusions. I was in both services and listened to the sermon twice, and not once did I hear PASTOR SIMON insinuate what you’re saying. Please separate fact from emotions here.
Gay people (the man) are not the problem. Homosexuality (the act) IS a problem. There are many ways it’s acquired, ONE of which is by people being abused. If you’re talking about truths, acceptance, tolerance etc, then it’s clear that you’re contradicting yourself. We do not follow doctrines based on our feelings. We follow what THE BIBLE says. Like someone mentioned earlier in this blog, Homosexuality has been around for thousands of years. Not once has God accepted it. He however accepts the people, but it doesn’t end there. I’d like to invite you for the service one more time, and this time stay TILL THE END then conclude.
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March 16, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Why does God love mavuno so much???? why????
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March 17, 2009 at 8:40 am
@ Simply me… You couldn’t have put it better. Anne, before you judge a man of God please get your facts right and as simply me said, separate emotion from fact. God bless you.
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March 17, 2009 at 3:32 pm
@Simply me, i second and third what you said. Anna, i recommend you listen to the whole sermon and read all the comments in this blog regarding the issue.
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March 17, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Pastor M i will do that though i also wrote to pastor s regarding some stuff i am dealing ( helpers or counsellors also require therapy and support you know) with and am still waiting for him to reply. i wish you would put a word for me so that pastor can get back to me on email as soon as possible.
thanks again pastor s and pastor m for the good work you are doing.
God bless.
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March 17, 2009 at 6:39 pm
@ yo’ll,
I haven’t had a chance to read all the posts in this series. I didn’t attend church on the same. however wen i attended Life group, i went home and cried to God for all the saints out there hurting from one person who was meant to be there and shape who they would be. they still have anyhow you look at it, only not in the way they should have. i grew up with both my parents and am most thankful to God that i had both my parents growing up and never lacked anything i needed, really. I am so sorry for all you hurting. God will heal all those wounds and give you a new leash of life. What the devil meant for harm, God will make it a blessing to you. Just open your heart and let Him heal you. I will say more later, for now…God bless you and minister to your hearts and souls. amen
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March 17, 2009 at 10:01 pm
it was my first time and loved the delivery of the message but the content to my liking didn’t fit how and what i grew up seeing.
Its just that based on growing up with people around the country and countries i have seen my fair share of great people who were born and raised in fatherless setups some might have had father figures but i felt it wasn’t full statistics that fatherless=hopeless. i felt this wasn’t stressed much.
keep up the fire (God’s Fire)
Jess
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March 19, 2009 at 7:47 am
@Anna
There is no time God will ever compromise on anything…if he did not like the Gay acts in the days of Sodom and Gomorah…there is no way He will like it today…culture change or not…He remains the same Yesterday, Today and Forever! Nothing will ever make gaysm right!!
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March 19, 2009 at 3:26 pm
@Anna,
I dont attend Mavuno, I probably won’t at all thanks to this resource (praise God) but, whether you attend go back to Mavuno or not, God remains God. And he is good. And HIS WORD IS SOVERIGN.
And Anna, He loves you even when you are angry at the man of God for standing on HIS word. This path we have chosen is narrow. And those who chose it may be few but I KNOW because of chosing it, I will see God.
Study God’s word and see what HE says about this issue. Its clear as crystal. Curch is not a rights movement. It is a place we go to fellowship and feed on Gods word.
God Bless you Anna and any others who may feel agrieved.
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March 19, 2009 at 3:54 pm
@ All,
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts, charged emotions, advice, bible references, and even prayers. I will take leave now as I don’t find this dialogue useful to me and will continue to build my own personal relationship with God, who I will always believe loves me and everyone else on this earth. I don’t think homosexuals need healing, and I don’t believe it is a sin – hey, eating prawns was a sin in the old testament – I don’t see anyone saying prayers about that. When two people love and care for each other, let them be! They are not causing anyone pain, so relax, having homosexuals on this earth is not going to destroy the human race – there are sooooo many of us. So the whole argument that God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, doesn’t fly, coz hey, God made barren women too – does that mean they should be condemned because they can’t reproduce? And does it mean that if you dont get married as a woman, or don’t have children as a man, you are not fulfilling God’s purpose for you because Adam and Eve were created to reproduce and fill the earth with their descendents? Come on now.
Anyway, like I said, I don’t find this dialogue useful and doubt I’ll be reading or blogging again. I guess I’m just tired of this rhetoric.
I will continue to go to church, build my relationship with God, and do good on this earth. And yes, I do believe the Church is about protecting human rights, and if it is not, then I don’t want to be a part of your movement.
God Bless you all.
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March 19, 2009 at 4:05 pm
@ sayari
it’s great of you to keep coming to church and cultivating your relationship with God.
sitting down and talking with other believers makes us all grow-that whole iron sharpens iron thing.hows wed25th morning for you?we can hook up with Pasi at the dome.possible you come with your partner?
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March 19, 2009 at 4:23 pm
@ Sayari,
Thanks for your post – relieved to see I am not the only open-minded person on this blog.
Those who advocate adhering to the “Word of God” (i.e. a book written by men, translated / interpreted from a particular cultural context MILLENIA ago) are hypocritical unless they implement ALL of the ancient laws of Leviticus wholesale in their lives. Thus women should go and live in a cave for 7 days every month as when menustruating they are “unclean”.
@ Simply me – Being gay is not something you “aquire” !! – this is exactly the kind of medieval attitude I am talking about. Do you also believe that condoms spread AIDS and you can get HIV by shaking hands with a person who has the disease?! Some of God’s children (10%) are born homosexual because he CREATED them this way – just as he created the whole diversity of human life, black, white, gay, straight, men, women.
Let’s keep the medieval Israelite law of Leviticus where it belongs – 2,000 years in the past.
God bless,
Anna
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March 19, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Hi guys, let me encourage us to put this conversation to rest for now. Let’s avoid name-calling and keep discussing the sermon, who’s main point by the way was not a discussion of homosexuality. I believe we need to ask our pasis to address this issue one of these days and to give us clear, biblical guidelines. Until then, could we agree to regulate ourselves and be civil?
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March 19, 2009 at 4:57 pm
We are not created as saved or homosexual but in God image, when we get to the world we have to choose which side we want to stand. Gods or the worlds the rest is a bunch of EXCUSES.
Expecting
Compassion
Using
Shallow
Explanations.
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March 19, 2009 at 5:40 pm
@ anna
Judaism and Christianity are different.i think studying bout it helps.would love to meet and discuss biblical relevance an the authenticity of the word.u game?am sure the is a woman enough who’d love to be in this mix too.
@mavunite
the subject was father’s wound and these are the responses thereof.some affirming some denying.guys are just looking for answers and am sure our pasis read this blog.plus the purpose of a a blog is that a blogger can say whatever he/she wants.
of course as believers we ask ourselves really?
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March 19, 2009 at 5:42 pm
@ thekenyannutcase,
I know you mean well, but i really don’t feel as though Mavuno is a safe space to talk about queerness, queer rights, or anything concerning queer people, so I appreciate the invitation, but simply am not ready to engage with you or the pastor, when the sense I have gotten so far is that there is only 1 answer, and that is that it is a sin, and it must be erradicated. It is not something that requires “healing” or something that can be changed. God bless all of you who were born heterosexual because you are the majority, but understand that there is a minority. Perhaps one day, when I feel strong enough and willing to engage in a dialogue, I will contact the pastor directly – but believe me, this won’t be for DELIVERANCE – because there is nothing wrong with me or anyone else. If there is a space for queer believers at Mavuno, great, and if not, perhaps one day we will have a church in Kenya that is a safe space for queers who are seeking to nurture their relationships with God and build their spirituality.
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March 19, 2009 at 5:48 pm
@ Anna
I have just seen your response. Bless your heart sister! Hopefully we will one day find each other in the congregation and have a hear to heart.
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March 19, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Oh, and in terms of upgrading this blog, which i think is a great idea for reflection, and sharing, I wonder if it is possible to add an option for members to respond to individuals, through the blog, so that the response goes to the person’s email, and they can decide if they want to follow up the conversation more privately, so that when trust has been established, the 2 people talking to each other can arrange to meet and get to know each other in a safe way? I’d like to meet you Anna, for example, but I certainly am not going to put my name or contacts out there, lest guys start attacking me 🙂
Besides, i want to continue going to church, and I worry that the kind of discussions we have had on this topic so far, may have even alienated other queer readers of the blog. I am strong in my faith, so it doesn’t really matter to me what conservative views most people have – it hurts, but I have been living with it all my life, so I will survive!
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March 20, 2009 at 8:56 am
Sayari, Its a good start by pursuing God first. The rest will fall in place. Then God himself will tell you wether you are o.k or not. It would only take God your maker to clarify afew issues.
Sure just pursue Christ. There lies the answer.
Love you and God bless.
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March 20, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Yesterday i slept feeling soo down,depressed and like am meant 2 suffer coz of ma dad.He’s been there physically bt he’s never cared one bit of wht we ate or our school fees n all those basic needs.To make it worse he beats ma mum upto now n calls her all sorts of things evn infront of me.
I need help coz now am evn extending ma anger to the one man whose been there for me thro thick n thin.He’s the best thing tht has ever happened to me and am going 2 lose him if i don gt help on how 2 forgive ma dad 4 all he’s done 2 all of us as a family,n letting the past go.carrying this grudge takes too much of ma strength n i jus wnt 2 b free of it.Is there anyone out there who can help me?God bless you all
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March 23, 2009 at 10:02 am
this series is really helpful in many ways … but what am wondering is , is it possible that pple refuse to face the fact that they are failing in one area or the other & conveniently blame their dads instead of sorting out issues in their lives?
the danger of this is so real to me … who else feels wat am talking abt???
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March 23, 2009 at 10:21 am
since the beginning of this series, I have noticed a curious change in my attitude. I try so hard to live holy but temptations seem to have multiplied and am loosing psyche to keep fighting them coz I keep wondering … wats the point anyway…
I had a really great dad but I keep getting attracted to older guys who r like father figures. Or did I have a pink dad without knowing it? am so much more confused than when I began and am not sure wat to do about it … plus after all is said n done … then wat???
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March 28, 2009 at 1:40 pm
This is my first time to log here although i have been to mavuno for a few times and i cant help but believe it was a great sermon for people like me.I last saw my dad in December 1996 and this was like the third time i never saw him in my life.My mother brought us up single handlingly most of the times being helped by her sisters and my grandmother{her mother}.This has made me develop problems with relations especially with men.Idont trust them at all and any man who tries to approach me i treat him with lots of distrust and suspicion thinking he is going to be like the dad i never had.I feel so bad for my sisters also because we have the same problems.I thank God i have a loving brother who have been acting like my dad though sometimes its had because he is married and he cant be able to give me all the attention i need.I find myself and my sisters being attracted to older guys who are like father figures and everytime i find myself in these shoes i start crying and its been taking a toil in my life.I would love to get the series on this topic pliz.I hope there is somebody out there listening and can help me on this.
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April 11, 2009 at 11:16 pm
I am sorry to have to say this. I have noticed my blog posts are always deleted. It would be nice to know what the problem is.
I know my views are not always the conventional kind- but they remain my views. I however try not to offend anyone or use abusive language- clearly it seems I am touching a raw nerve somewhere. Perhaps something on blogging rules should be uploaded-maybe I just dont get it. Pastor Simon can we chat sometime?
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