INLAWS & OUTLAWS
The 5 ‘R’s – Rules, Roles, Rituals, Reasons for Being, Roots
Genesis 2:23-24
LEAVE + CLEAVE = ONENESS
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Blog.Mavuno 
February 8, 2009 at 12:53 pm
It was my first time to go to a Mavuno church. The sermon was very lively and very practical. I have been married for the last six years with one son. The pastors sort of replayed my married life experiences. I must confess that i have gone through all what the pasors took us through and i am glad i am now better informed and rearing to go to the next stage of my married life. Thanks you pastors and thank you mavuno. I will visit the church even more in future.
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February 8, 2009 at 6:04 pm
God has amazing ways of communicating with us. the past few sermons at Mavuno has been God message to me…suddenly everything makes so much sense in terms of relationships and marriage. irony is i am not married or even about to be, but i have gotten so many answers, gathered so much information for my future and managed to walk out of a four and a half year toxic relationship out of my own choice because i saw that for real this is just not getting anywhere.When you begun the happily ever after series i was like “gosh now how does that apply to me,anyway let me just listen” little did i know that I’d wake up one morning with all the energy i need to walk out of a relationship that has dragged me over the years, together with the un-mask the man event i am just so full of energy its amazing. i am not hurt,i didn’t even cry but instead am free and hopeful that indeed he has greater plans for me. God is indeed good. Pastor M and Pastor Carol along with everyone else thanks for a lovely beginning to the year 2009, i study abroad and unfortunately will miss out on the rest. for once missing my friends, partying wont be what i will be crying about on the plane but it will be the fellowship i have had these past few weeks. thank you so much! happy 2009 and Happy Valentine’s day.
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February 8, 2009 at 10:50 pm
You know, Pastor M & C have a way of making what always looks obvious a whole world wide different.
The inlaws/outlaws thing just came out so different to me. It wasnt the usual screaming mother in law or the sneaking finances stories…but the fact that it came out clearly that we are all affected by how we were brought up.
The way/how we grow up really for me was the thing. Its not so much about physical inteferance from the inlaws, but the seed that is planted in us as we grow that really determines how far we get in marriage. It is how we choose to behave and carry ourselves that determines the destiny of our marriage.
I would call it ‘control via bluetooth!’ That the hidden Rules, Roles, Rituals, Reasons and Roots that are the danger here. They are the ones that manipulate us. They control us and we are very helpless on our own against them.
This was really an eye opener to things that live with us, yet we dont realise how dangerous they are. We blame our spouses, for things only we know, but are unwilling to disclose them.
I feel so free and ready to take on the Outlaws!
God Bless your Pastors C & M
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February 9, 2009 at 12:11 am
Hi pastor M,
Allow me to tell a story..well this happily ever after began when i was very sure i was in love with this super dude we haven’t been together long and had already talked marriage..wedding.. yes after 2 months of hooking up.
Then you started all this deep vibe and it got me really thinkin and wonderin whether i rushed into the relationship, why cause i dont know his purpose, i’m not sure if he knows his purpose and honestly i’m just finding out mine. so… i’m just like SHUCKS!! what 2 do?
i’m a bit a bit scared of discoverin cause what if our purposes are just not in the same sphere..i dont wanna force and still i dont know if i’m really ready to start formin other relationships in this dating context!
flip side is, i’m happy i’m learning all this before i’m married..like those 5R’S its funny how they apply in many relationships not just marriage 🙂 as for my boyfriend he isn’t in the country and ours is a long distance relationship..i’m tryin to get him to get on the clog and get sermons and all to have a clue of the amazing life lessons.
in conclusion, i’m not ready to do the new olympic sport. broom jumping… oh no pastor m. the pressure is there as i am turnin the small two nine. i meet all my high school pals and there’s either the ring. or a certificate- baby number one, a diploma-baby number two, degree- baby number 3..and they all ask that question? – are you seein anyone?.
no rush i’m busy unmasking my self!
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February 9, 2009 at 8:56 am
I attanded Mavuno jana. First time though. I think Pastor did a wondeful job of explaining sources of this family woes. What I cant get is that is there a way out. For me and ma wif I think we have reched a place where we have said, lets it be. we cantr reconcile tyhis values/roles so every one does as they wish. Pastor, is there a way out!!
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February 9, 2009 at 10:54 am
Pastor M &C,
Thank you for sharing your life with us. We do need to hear all these things to help us to be better people. I am a single 30 year old lady and I know why I am not married. There are things I needed to know and God has been equipping me through you for the things He is preparing me for. Yesterday as you were speaking, a still quiet voice said “You will get married this year”. I know it sounds wierd. For a while I was taken by suprise but I felt a quietness inside – a peace I cant explain: I haven’t stopped smiling since, I dont have a boyfried yet, but I know I serve a mighty God who loves me to bits and loves me like no one else does. I am always amazed by His works, I am humbled by His love. Anyways, God bless you always. My prayer is that even as God uses you to bless His people, my He grow you and expand you always. I love you guys (the mavuno pastoral team) with the love of Christ. Thank you for allowing God use in in such a powerful way.
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February 9, 2009 at 11:32 am
hey nick i would be lying if i told you i understand your predicament cause dude am sooo single.however there some basic truths i want to share with you.that you and your wife are the holders to key of the door leading to the way out of your quagmire.first both of you must have the willingness to change this situation,then you and your spouse need to let your guards down and embrace humility and the come let us reason together attitude as you focus on the MOUNTAIN MOVER (CHRIST) for you can do all thing through christ who strengthens us and ignoring the MOUNTAIN the roles and rules that seem to be drifting you apart.pasi please consider providing squba equipments the sermons are getting DEEP!!!!!!! man.thanks alot and may the Almighty God bless you and your family
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February 9, 2009 at 11:38 am
Hi all,
Thanks for the comments. I’m enjoying reading them on my day off. Thanks for your great story Mel & safe travels. And Miss Mavuno, glad you’re taking your time and not rushing in! Hey Nick, my answer to you is… yes, there is much hope! Please start by ordering the CD’s for the first part of this series as I think you’ll find great encouragement in what you hear. If possible, listen to them together. Christy, thanks for sharing. May God give you the desire of your heart as you continue to seek Him and to engage in your purpose.
Pastor M
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February 9, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Hi Pastor M & C
This sunday’s sermon really touched me. Its so real the bond sons & their monthers have to a point where wives feel left out. She comes visting in our home & addresses the son and assumes the wife is either casper the friendly ghost or the witch! What should a wife do in such a case. Second, Pastor M, what should a wiife do when her husband is not proactive in what goes on in the house? What he enjoys most is being a coach potato or out with his boys 😦 . Should i submit and accept that he got used being done for everything by his mother or what? its wearisome being a mother of your own kids plus a husband + being a wife….HELP
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February 9, 2009 at 2:25 pm
5i pastor M.
I am breathless the last 6Weeks have bein amazing for me.. I almost didn’t come yesterday but am I glad I came! I am planning to get married to my best friend and am about to meet her folks am I glad I know the 5R’s and am scared but I am prepared.
In your summons Please don’t forget the single guys and ESP the ones preparing to get married coz sometimes you almost forget we are here.
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February 9, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Hi pastor M.
I am breathless the last 6Weeks have bein amazing for me.. I almost didn’t come yesterday but am I glad I came! I am planning to get married to my best friend and am about to meet her folks am I glad I know the 5R’s and am scared but I am prepared.
In your summons Please don’t forget the single guys and ESP the ones preparing to get married coz sometimes you almost forget we are here.
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February 9, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Hi pastor M,
It was my first time at Mavuno church and believe me i enjoyed every part of the service which was very lively. Your summon was right on point as it was touching on whats happening in our homes every day and sometimes we just ignore hoping that things will work out with time but now i know better coz unless one is ready to compromise some of this things there is no way a miracle will happen and then you have a smooth sailing. Thanks so much for the great teachings and may God Richly bless you and your family even as i plan to attend more!
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February 9, 2009 at 4:46 pm
The message was an eye opener. I enjoyed every bit of it. My main concern was with all the functions set aside for valentines. so where do the divorced fall under. Single? please just clarify.
Thanks for the good work. Good bless you and your wife for such great work. You are truly changing lives.
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February 9, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Hi Pastor M
Thanks alot 4 the sermon yesterday, jus felt like God had sent you 2 talk 2 me.it made me realize jus how much I have been letting my past control ma future.I have let my parent’s marriage control my thinking tht there’s nothing like happiness bt since you talked about letting go of all those hard feelings am starting 2 knw tht,not unless i forgive,i will not b able 2 move on.It ws an eye opener for me
I thank God for you.
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February 9, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Hi Pastor,
As has been the custom for the past four weeks I came for the series with much expectations. I was not dissapointed. I loved the discussion on leaving one s parents in order to cleave. I am the first born to a single parent and for a long time have felt responsible for my dear mum s happiness. To put it mildly I created a heavy emotional dependance between us. Now am all grown up and hopin to have my own family but its been really tough tryin to get her to let go. I spent my recent leave away from home on my own and all the while felt guilty at not bein home with her. Am glad that I learnt that I will have to loosen the bond and gradually Leave so that am free to start my own life and trusting God to look after her. Again Thanks
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February 9, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Mutual Respect
In all things, its important to respect your mother and father-in-law. They are the parents of someone very special – your spouse. If you are a parent of a married child, your son-in-law or daughter-in-law is very special because he or she is your child’s life partner.
It is best for each family to realize the independence of the other. Your spouse must know your parents will not interfere with the family you are building. Your parents must realize you and your spouse need to build a life and relationship separate from them. This requires patience and, at times, may be painful.
It’s important to honor and respect your in-laws, but above that, protect your marriage. This principle will pay great dividends in the future.
The sermons are just awesome. Thanks, God Bless you abundantly.
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February 9, 2009 at 8:00 pm
i have just recently started attending your church…i didnt know i could find a church that spoke to me,acknowledged the challenges that we face…
Am not married but I’ve been seeing someone for couple of years.I intend to integrate what Ive learnt before I get there.And what i cannot avoid,atleast I’ll be aware.Be blessed.
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February 10, 2009 at 12:29 am
First up, I’d like to say that Mavuno has been a real blessing to me. Since end last year, God has been calling me to change the way I live my life as far as women and relationships are concerned. I accepted His call and I’m working towards it. My qn abt this sun’s sermon is, How you you leave ur female friends when you get into a relationship? What if they have been like sisters to you and they have supported you in every part of your life? Hw do you do this practically? Does it mean you can’t hang out with them anymore eg coffee at java, visiting them at their homes, etc?
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February 10, 2009 at 2:22 am
Hi Davie,
Regarding your question, I like what Pastor Muriithi said. It’s not a question of leaving/dumping your friends from the opposite sex. No no no. Surely, you can’t just up and leave! That’s on the extreme. Your allegiance just shifts and changes to your hubby/wife respectively, hence making him/her your FIRST priority. If you can’t hack this, you have no business marrying him/her in the first place. Your friends from the opposite sex in essence should become friends to BOTH of you as a married couple that has decided to “leave their father & mother” and “cleave to each other.”
They (friends) have no choice but to realize and acknowledge that regardless of them having stood by you in the past, whether they’ve been like your sisters/brothers, angels, confidants, pets, etc once you say “I DO,” and the Pastor says “…..what God has brought together, let no man (or woman) put asunder,” like in a court of law, the hammer has fallen and it’s a totally different ball-game from then hence-forth and their fifteen minutes are up. Now, if for whatever reason they’re unable to respect the fact that your status/circumstances have changed, then too bad. As Pastor Muriithi said, “Talk to the hand!” You have no choice but to separate the wheat from the chaff! But this is only as a last resort. Your marriage and spouse come FIRST and MUST be respected. Perhaps I could amplify the man “leaving” his father & mother. He also “leaves” his friends…..male & female, certain aspects of his lifestyle, job, relations, habits etc! He goes to be united with his wife to become one. So does his wife. Doesn’t mean he ex-communicates his folks/pals/colleagues. There’s just a paradigm shift in priorities.
In as far as in-laws are concerned, I believe that the couple has the responsibility to shield each other from external inteference. I remember talking to a congregant before the service, and I was telling him that much as it also applies to the lady, it’s much more critical for the man. My fellow brothers, a blessing or a curse? YOU can choose. And this is from personal experience. If your folks, brothers/sisters or pals realize that you’ll not, under whatever circumstances, entertain them putting your wife down, and if they see you standing up for her no matter what, trust me, that’s the EXACT same respect they’ll accord her and you by extension.
This I believe is the BIGGEST problem ladies face in marriage today, as depicted in the play. In such a situation, if the husband stood up to his mother for his wife, she’d have had no choice but to respect his wife. Fellaz, let’s quit being afraid of our mothers. Standing up for your wife is in no way disrespecting or disobeying your folks. Put your foot down and always side with her. If anything, deep-down they’ll have a lot more respect for you, and will always tread carefully in as far as your home/marriage is concerned. Remember, y’all didn’t say “we do” with your family, but rather “I DO!” Two became one. Not 5, 7 or 10. If your wife is wrong in the situation, just as we don’t portray division before our kids’ eyes, same should apply before the in-laws’ or any outsiders’ eyes. You’d rather discuss things with him/her much later, as you “pray for him/her and work on yourself!” Baraka…
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February 10, 2009 at 8:11 am
@Davies and Simply
I don’t think its just about supporting your spouse ‘No Matter What’ but rather putting a united front. I know it cannot happen overnight but they are daily victories which you can start winning early on even in dating or Courting. I am currently Dating, recently I met my friends and Family telling my Gal that she will be married to the family. Guess what I was shocked that they could be so Bold but I told them in her presence that She would be Mt Wife not Ours. I know its not over but I will cherish each Victory.
I think I agree with something Pastor M. Said during “the S Word” if you find a man or Woman whose heart is inclined to God it makes it a lot easier to let go of the reigns (Leave and Cleave)
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February 10, 2009 at 8:52 am
Pastor M and C. You guys are great and a great blessing to me. Been coming to Mavuno since the move to the Dome and every Sunday is like wow!!!!!! hold on that sounds so much like me and what I’m going through or will go through…
Inlaws and Outlaws and the “package”. Pastor C that’s like really important stuff for us especially singles to know. That we are different is a blessing from God otherwise we would all be boring and not hook up but that it is a challenge also is interesting. I think God likes drama coz then how would he manage to hook me up with someone who pushes me so hard and presses buttons while at home no one bothers to push.
Can’t wait to see what this year keeps bringing my way in the form of life’s lessons and how to live here with people who push my nerves abd yet stillmake it to heaven.
Thanks Mavuno. God bless
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February 10, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Good stuff people. Lots of wisdom here. There’s a great little book by Pst. Simon Mbevi called ‘Gideon’s Action’ that teaches you how to pray over issues in your family. Should be available from our book table.
Joj, thanks for the reminder. It’s certainly not our intention to forget the single guy, who’s extremely key to this whole conversation! Hope to see you on Friday for our men’s event. Also, good answers Simply Me and JN; couldn’t have said it better myself! Except I think it’s just as critical for the ladies as it is for the guys to ‘leave’.
And Joyce, you’re in a painful situation. The temptation is to either give up on your hub or try to change him. None of those approaches work! A 3rd one (hardest option) is to ‘work on me, pray for him’. Only God can change a man’s heart (as my wife has discovered over the years!) Or a woman’s. Keep coming, sign up for Mizizi, start positioning yourself for purpose, and pray! Not an easy answer but… as you pray, at least one of two things will happen; either God will change your spouse or He will change you. Or both! Either way, He’ll end up drawing you closer to the Source.
God bless!
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February 10, 2009 at 3:15 pm
I think a negative picture is painted on the role of mother in laws especially on the man’s side. The mothers are always portrayed as evil or overbearing on the couple. Some of us have really good mothers who have not only supported us but also offer valuable advice to us and I think portraying them as inconsiderate is planting a bad seed in the minds of wives and brides to be. Pastor M kindly support our mamas.
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February 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm
The issue of inlaws is the biggest in my relationship. My boyfriend cannot stand up to his mother or his relatives and expects me to be the one to bend over backwards to accomodate his relatives. After all they are blood relatives and blood is thicker than water.
You can imagine how nice it felt when Pastor M&C were affirming my belief that the marriage relationship comes first and the hubbie should shield the wife from overbearing relatives. I was extremely blessed and will be sure to get him a copy of the sermon.
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February 10, 2009 at 11:13 pm
@ Simple me: Thanx! And I love w@ Pst.M sez, only God can change a man’s heart! So true!! And prayer does work.
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February 11, 2009 at 8:55 am
@Pastor M. Thanks and I agree with you that Work on Mr as I pray for her is the hardest prayer to make.
@M ua right about planting bad seeds in our Daughters and Sisters but I think the point is for the couple to be united in dealing with there challenges and Family
@Madamme take a step of Faith I am currently Getting all my friends who are Married the C.D and especialy those with Marriages on the Rocks, I consider it my response to the message!!
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February 11, 2009 at 12:23 pm
hey pastor P,
the sermon on inlaws and outlaws hit a nerve I never believed would ever be touched!
My spouse is one of those ‘who look saved even before they are saved’. Those poeple who never do wrong at least in their eyes. . . .
Before, during and after service, it was never believed that anything applied to our relationship, while I believed EVERYTHING applied to us. When the happily ever after series began, I prayed every Sunday for us to learn a thing or two, now that the focus was on marriage. However one of us was never moved while the other was ever moved. I guess I was just impatient but I had resigned to that fact that our relationship and its issue were unresolvable.
Shock on me last Sunday, we were BOTH listening! I was surprised when it was acknowledged that consultations were required when it came to family of origin and financial support of them. This was one of our issues. One person never saw the need for another’s consulation and/or contribution while another demanded constant discussions on everything this included. Hopefully this will the begining of discussions, consultatations on all issues.
I thank God for highliting this through you and the lesson it has taught.
I pray we continue to attend Church for more lessons and I pray we DO LEARN THE LESSONS!
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February 11, 2009 at 4:22 pm
You know what Pastor? You are a real and amazing pastor by all definitions. How could share your story such bluntly? The messages that you have been teaching are real and deep. Wah!! I have always been wondering why it does appear that marriages are easy yet, while dating there are many complications. Kumbe the true story isn’t being said? How worse could it get once the two conflicting back grounds are put together?? You are growing mature Christians to meet a REAL world. You can only fight a successful war if you know what you are expecting and equipping yourself adequately, and especially psychologically. UMEBLESSIKA PASTOR.
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February 11, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Here is a question that I request for guidance and frankness. Now that God created the man first and thereafter the woman from his rib, it is implied that the wife is therefore expected to be younger. What need we say about relationships that involve an invert of ages (woman older than the man). Is it ordained? Is it violating the very basic start of human association? Pastor – can you ordain such a wedding in your knowledge?
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February 11, 2009 at 10:41 pm
@Asiiiisi kama moyo imependa ime penda (if you are in love you are in love).thats’ what i think. n you are doing it the way God wants it i see no sin.
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February 12, 2009 at 7:00 am
@Asiisi I think the Fact that your asking the question you have some doubts, if I were you I would sincerely and prayerfully deal with the real doubts… You may be in love for all the wrong Reason.
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February 12, 2009 at 7:19 am
im asiiisi on that..,
Why do people judge guys who marry older women?
The bible doesnt say ‘ a man wil leave his father n mother and be joined to a younger woman/wife’
Pastor M pliz shed the truth on this area!
(bt marrying someone 40years older than u is nt ok, i think)
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February 12, 2009 at 10:16 am
Pastor M,
This is me again…..Wa Njagi…
I would like to that you and the entire mavuno family for ur prayers (Catherine, Brenda, Faith n Others)..I can surely see some light at the end of the tunnel…God is working behind the scene to uplift me again…..I always wake up in the morning n praise him for yet another day, not like some months ago when i used to wake up n have some funny questions in my mind like, “Now that i have woken up, where will i go and what will i be doing till sunset?”….I feel its out of ur Prayers that the Loving Father has started opening doors for me….Thank you alot and lets continue with the same same spirit..Praying for one another n supporting each other…
Pastor M….I would like to do one of the most extra ordinary thing a man can even think of…My girlfriend has been waiting for me to propose for a while now (From last year) n she has been dropping hints every time n then. I would like to supprise her in the most extra ordinary way…I wont take her to Naivasha for that mammoth event (afew of my married boys tell me that its not easy to propose)..hahaha.. I am planning to do it in church!!!! Infact, i will be shopping for a ring today and if i get one, i will let you know by tomorrow evening whether i will be going down on my knees to propose this coming sunday….I know this sounds funny but i will do it!!! Since we will be exchanging our vows b4 God n thousands of pple , why Not propose infront of them? I think it will be the best cos we’ll receive blessings from God and all mavunites!!! Pastor M, what do u think??
Guys have a blessed day, n lets continue Praying for one another….Prayers move Mountains!!!
God Bless…
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February 12, 2009 at 10:23 am
I think marrying an older lady would be counterproductive in so far as submission is concerned.
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February 12, 2009 at 12:16 pm
@ Wa Njagi Wow what can I say. heh! Whatever happens I have to be in church on sunday to catch the action.
@SDA I totally feel you on people who are good in their eyes. They are so difficult. You need to really pray.
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February 12, 2009 at 12:57 pm
@Asiisi, the Genesis passage is not a reference to the age issue. Nor do I think as per Joey that it’s necessarily an issue when it comes to a husband’s or wife’s role.
@ Wa Njagi, wah! You must be very confident that your fiance to be doesn’t read this blog and doesn’t have friends who do! And that she won’t faint 🙂 Either way, I predict a lot of dating ladies are going to come to church with thumping hearts not sure if they’re the ones!
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February 12, 2009 at 1:38 pm
This was my first time at Mavuno and I must say that the experience was awesome. I am sure that God had planned for this to happen because though I am born again, for the last few months I have not felt like waking up to go to church on sunday. The only reason I have been going to church is because I do not want to let my son and husband down as they both wake up so early every sunday. I have kept this to myself because how do you explain the fact that you walk into church and at the end of it walk out with nothing to remember. On sunday, I woke up not feeling too well and dragged myself through the routine of getting ready and almost decided not to go because we were running late. Eventually though slightly late, we arrived at Mavuno and sfter settling my son in sunday school and getting a place to sit, I got so engrossed in the sermon that when it ended I wanted more………
I learnt so much and at the end of it all my family was in agreement that it had been a great service. Im going to be away this coming weekend and I already feel I will be missing out on something special. I cant wait for the weekend after that because Im already looking forward to going to church and you can be assured which church you will find me in.
Thanks alot and may God bless you for the wonderful work you are doing!
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February 12, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Hey Pastor M.
You really crack me up! Not just on your response to Wa Njagi but almost always.You have a great sense of humor and the most funny thing is that you dont realize it.
Anyway, Im glad to read your responses on the blog.
Its really encouraging.
Cheers!
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February 13, 2009 at 2:36 pm
SALAAA!!!
Ok first things first- about the question- am I dating my “The One”? I am.
*EEEEEEEEEK!!!*
Second- let me repeat what everyone is saying- the entire series is amazing, eye-opening- EVERYTHING!
But to be honest- I walked out of church on Sunday (these are my confessions… wah!). I don’t think I can take any more bites of reality. Those are huge wedded/post-wedded-into-the-marriage-quagmire chunks of reality I’m swallowing and I absolutely thank the Good Lord up Above that Mr. Fab and I (after three or so years of dating) have NOT fallen victim to the “when are you getting hitched” pressures that many our buddies and family members put us under. He’s an incredibly wise man, and we’ve decided to do what’s right for us. I mean- WAH!
(I can’t even comment on the sermon on Sunday…) Is it right to say that even the sermon series is putting ME under pressure? I mean- marriage is a really serious thing and I want it to be just perfect- pure and white and smelling like sunflowers and roses on a crisp spring morning, and freshly ironed shirts that are totally Tossed- but that’s definitely not the reality. And that’s really bugging me. Why? Coz I know myself, and how difficult I can be (which definitely does not match the utopian ideal I have of myself)- will he stay that long to help me deal with inlaws?…
When you talked about your Year 5… Pastor M? WHAT? I never ever ever in my wildest [cowboy-on-a-horse-chasing-Injuns] dreams did I ever think that you and Pastor C could ever have a “Year 5”. Manze- us we have “Month 13”, “Month 22″… will we get to Year 5 ever? That’s like saying I was born in 10BC, but enyewe 5AD seems light years away…
BUT- I promise I’ll glue myself to the chair on Sunday with super glue. I need to listen to this…
See you Sunday!
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February 13, 2009 at 3:54 pm
According to research the average life expectancy of a Kenyan in 2008 is 57 years. According to the Bible the life expectancy for the jamaas in the Old Testament is in the region of 120 years. Now, If the average Kenyan marries at 30 he/she has 25 years to get the the dream stage, where the full mwenjoyo of marriage kicks in. In other words, the average Kenyan will have a maximim of 5 years of full dream stage mwenjoyo, after which he will kick and go to heaven (if he/she is lucky)and be single again for eternity.
By the way, Pastor M keeps refering to the Bible as the manual for life. Can you please illustrate this by identifying a quote from the Bible you used to dart Pastor C …. while you were dating.
Which brings me to my second point, Mavuno church is 3 years old, so we are in the drama stage if we are to use the metaphor of marriage to Christ. If this is the case, are we a dysfuntional Kikuyu family finding our way. Cumulatively the congregation brings the 5R’s with them when they come to church. However, do we have ways of dealing with serious issues such as emotional or substance abuse in homes in a constructive way, or are we as a church metaphorically aiding our dads alcholism?
Which brings me to my third point. Malkiat Singh was the guru of 8-4-4 text books, he was the Osama Bin Laden of our education, masterminding some weapons of mass communication. The thing is, this guy never sent any of his kids for 8-4-4. Like wise, God made the master plan for marriage but His Son, never got married…..
By the way, every time we say Ahuu, I imagine myself running down Kenyatta Avenue in a leather Ngotha and a 5kg spear. My one pack turms into a chiseled six pack and am giving the guys refused to pay taxes a run for our their money.
Lastly, chicks dont like nice guys, because nowadays the dating scene is like the Nairobi Stock Exchange.. more on that later
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February 13, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Pastor M,
much as the bible hasnt given a reference to the age issue, i guess its implied. it human nature to have difculties to submitting to a lessor aged person. isnt it i) implied from the creation story that the woman is of lessor age and ii) isnt it a recipe to an unending unhappy ever after? it ia amazing that the ‘world’ percieves the whole scenario unacceptable to marry an older lady. the ‘world’s’ expectation is that the young respect the older.
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February 14, 2009 at 8:24 pm
i have personally learnt alot from the sermon series and i think pastor is doin a good job.thank you for that. but on a light note, it seems from last sundays skit that “the woman” is the problem. nobody mentioned fathers inlaw or brothers.
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February 15, 2009 at 12:08 am
Asiiisi,
We do not follow the doctrines of the “world.” We follow what the manual says. I’ve not seen anywhere where God has said or implied as you put it, that the woman must be older. While I respect your views, I think they’re totally ill-advised. Doesn’t matter whether younger or older. As much as mutual respect exists, and God has ordained, the rest is irrelevant. Furthermore, I can point out lots of people in the situation you think it can’t work, starting with myself. You don’t date/marry somebody’s age, but the person. I’ve never ever had an issue with my wife’s age, or her with mine, despite her being 3 years older than I am. What goal will you choose to focus on in life? The choice is yours. Do you know how many blessings we humans lock out in the name of such beliefs? My question to you today is, Who’s report will you believe?
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February 22, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Help!am married to my husband n his pastor!!wat to do?
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April 27, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Hi, I don’t know if anyone’s looking up this page now that much time’s past. I thank God for this sermon as it gave me courage to confront my spouse concerning inlaw issues. I was suffering in silence not knowing how to articulate to my wife what I felt towards her family though it was eating me up on the inside.
I really felt that my spouse was sharing our life with her sisters. They are so close that they all have similar tastes, go the same salon, and communicate daily about the day’s happenings, even sharing details on our dates, projects and God knows what else. I found myself acting insecure in their presence because I did not know what they knew about us and severally my wife made statements that implied that my relationship with her to be inferior to that with her sisters. Her sisters are actually good people but are clueless that they are in the way of our marriage.
I thought that playing polite would work but it wasn’t. Finally I confronted, but I do not know how she has taken it- its hard to tell knowing that she has really bonded with them.
My prayer is that God breaks their soul-ties that my wife can be free to be her own person and be my soulmate. Any one reading this please join me in this prayer.
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