How Not To Use The ‘Dark Side’ Sermons

Wow… we’re loving all the interaction! And we’re learning a whole lot! Thanks everyone for your great comments. Please keep them coming. This is something we borrowed from Tim LaHaye’s book, ‘Why You Act The Way You Do‘. There are three ways you do NOT want to use the knowledge you are getting this month!

  1. To intimidate your friends – when Pst. Carol studied psychology, she and her classmates had to commit not to psychoanalyze their family members. This can cause resentment and shaming. So… please don’t go around telling people, ‘no wonder you’re so harsh; I can tell you’re a choleric!’ That’s one way to ensure you remain friendless!
  2. To excuse bad behavior – as you learn about your dark side, don’t use that knowledge as an excuse to keep doing the things you shouldn’t! Don’t say… ‘What do you expect from me, it’s because I’m melancholy!’ Remember, the purpose of this series is to equip each of us to (with God’s help) overcome our dark sides. The only reason why people don’t change is because they choose not to!
  3. To categorize the people you meet – the danger is that it’s easy to misjudge people, and also, no one likes to be squeezed into a box or treated as a category. Remember too that temperament is only one part of a complex whole, and as people submit themselves more and more to God, you’ll be amazed how they defy categories and become things people in their temperament are not ‘supposed’ to be e.g. a gentle choleric.

One of our slogans at Mavuno is ‘we’re not about information, we’re about transformation’. May our reflecting together on God’s word cause us all to become the Fearless Influencers we were created to be!

Psts. Carol & Muriiithi


7 Responses to “How Not To Use The ‘Dark Side’ Sermons”

  1. Sweetie why are you hooting, the guys is indicating? Why do you keep changing the radio/tv channels?
    Please don’t throw things every where, where are you hurrying to just drive pole pole.
    Who left this here? And the best compliment is always not bad! Etc
    Now that’s me, You should have seen my hubby eyes broadening on affirmation as Pastor C and M enlightened us about the MELS coz I am such a strong one no doubt.
    I must say thanks and I appreciate coz we have been married for 5 months now and this series is just helping us a whole load. He is a strong choleric on the other hand!
    Baraka guys and keep it up.


  2. I once lived with an Aunt who was also a strong Mel and she killed everyone who she loved. She always thought she was perfect and only other people make mistakes and her sharp remarks meant that all you wanted to do was avoid her. She often mad everyone doubt her Christianity.

    I was happy to learn that its not that she has a bad heart its just her personality. I hope one day i will get the courage to enlighten her and tell her how her remarks hurt people and how to work with her strong qualities and depend on the higher truth fro her strong weaknesses.


  3. I had really planned how I was going to use the dark side sermon to give my seriously choleric boyfriend who is a christian (he scored like 9 out 10 in the strengths and dark side) ‘apiece of my mind’ ( I’m a phegmatic kabisa). I need advice and prayers. I initally thought that he was just not a nice guy but now I know it’s his temprament. Now that I have this information how do I share it with him since he doesn’t come to Mavuno?He has caussed me so much pain that I have reached the point where I feel like throwing in the towel but would like to tell him how he has made me feel and give him the cd of the sermon.
    Question is there hope for such a relationship or am I just setting myself up for …….


  4. Responding to Wm……..I do believe that there is so much hope for you gal.. Guys who are choleric are great people. They are great leaders, they give a good sense of direction, they take control of things and the list is endeless…….blessed with so many strengths amidst their weaknesses and i strongly believe that with the teachings we are going through, we shall eventually be fully equiped to harmoniously live with every person regardless of their temperaments. I would recommend that you do whatever you can to have the message reach his ears for the good of both of you.

    Cheer up…..i feel you, i too am phlegmatic married to a strong choleric husband but i tell you, i wouldn’t exchange him for anyone else….

    Just pray and trust God for peace and harmony


  5. @Wm
    Your guys can make the best team ever just find the balance. Buy him- Why we act the way we do- Tim La haye, the sermon cds (chill for the complete series) and the last thing is to invite him to ekklesia- ask your leader to focus on the temperaments on that day and see the light bulb that will go on in his head as he interacts with others of his kind.


  6. I love every sermon I’ve heard at mavuno. This month is beautiful. Am a mel
    that explains why I like things in a certain order at home or at the office. I remember a time I would arrange our room and by evening the room was “phogothare” coz one of my brothers was looking for something. I would get mad at them and they would feel nothing. They won the battles when I opted to let go abit coz our relationships were getting strained. our room is not neat but yes there is peace and laughter thanks to God.


  7. Anonymous Says:

    Hi Wm, In addition to everything else people said, you want to remember that temperaments are only one part of who we are. Of more importance is the person’s character. Is the pain he’s caused you a result of different temperaments or does he have deeper character issues?

    Even though like a good friend it’s great to to pass him the cd’s, you need to let him take responsibility for his growth. Just as he shouldn’t use temperament to excuse his bad behavior, neither should you!


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