Sermon: Melancholy – The Insecure Leader

A brief summary :

Strengths:

  • Deep and Analytical
  • Highly Intellectual
  • Very Creative
  • Serious and Purposeful
  • Orderly and Organized
  • Neat and Tidy
  • High Standards
  • Economical
  • Deep Compassion

Two Major Issues:

  • Moodiness – Easily Depressed
  • Unrealistic demands on others

Edit (17th Aug)… Apologies all for posting these sermon notes late!

080710-the-dark-side-of-greatness-the-insecure-leader

Advertisements

68 Responses to “Sermon: Melancholy – The Insecure Leader”

  1. Thanks Pastor M and Pastor C!!

    The sermon today was just for me!! I could genuinely see aspects of my life through Yefesi’s skit and laugh at them – and even funnier when we were asked to share with the person next to us and I said to them “I’m one those” and they looked at me in shock! 🙂

    It’s encouraging to hear the great exhortations and character strengths that I posses (yet shy away from) because I tend to get sidetracked by my weaknesses… I especially liked the reminder that I need to be realistic with others and encourage them more with my praise and affirmation, because it is not my perfectionist standard that they have to meet, but God’s gracious standard that recognizes each persons labor.

    For my other melancholic friends out there, I’d like to share two things that help encourage me about my dark side:

    On Moodiness:
    There are tons of scriptures that speak about our requirement to rejoice and be glad. My favorite ones are ‘Rejoice in the Lord Always, and again I say rejoice!’ (Philipians 4:4) and ‘Why so downcast oh my soul, put your hope in God’ (Psalms 42:5)

    On Shying away from greatness / Hiding away from praise or the lime-light:
    This famous quote we’ve all come to love does the trick –
    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
    (Maryanne Williamson; author, “Return to Love”)

    Pastor M & Pastor C – God bless you guys! Today was just for Me!

    Like

  2. There were no other words that could describe me better.Pastor Carol and Pastor Linda I feel and hear you.Of all the times I hear a sermon,this sunday it was mine.I felt at one during the whole session.I laughed through the drama but REALLY it was ME.I have alot to share but at God’s own time I will.May God increase in US(Melancholy).God Bless Mavuno.Can’t wait for Sunday.

    Like

  3. I learnt so much today! I’m a melancholic followed very closely by choleric temperament (yikes) so both last week and this Sunday spoke to me. I just wanted to share that one of the habits I’ve developed that keeps me from being stuck in my head, over-analyzing and dwelling on fears/negativity, is gratitude. “In all things give thanks”. Throughout the day I remember to give thanks for even the smallest thing, finding a parking spot, a compliment I receive, a task I accomplish, a simple “Thank you Lord” and it immediately takes me out of myself and reminds me that God is alive in my life and in control.
    🙂

    Like

  4. Eeeeeeeeeeeeh,the page of yoke hauz is blank and has one photo,Pastor M,I just had to point that out

    Like

  5. Today I left church limping…….. my toes had not only been repeatedly stepped on, they had been trampled upon!! From the moment Yafesi began making fun of ME and for the 40 or so minutes that followed I rode an emotional rollercoaster as my thoughts kept shifting from “that’s sooo me” to “oh, ok, I ‘m not that bad. That definitely cannot be me”.

    To sum it up, it was trully a blessing.

    I wished that my colleagues from the office, my entire extended family and many many of my friends were all there. Thank God for technology, they still can share in the mesage. I’ll be pointing a lot of them to this site once today’s sermon is uploaded. I trust that they will appreciate that I do not have to change who I am to achieve what they’d like to see me achieve. On the flipside, I now know that the responsibility to trade the dark shadows that follw me as a Mel and make them lasting blessings sits squarely with me.

    The environment I work in can be (and is) hostile to soft-spoken overly- polite people. I am part of a management team that teems with cholerics. They just don’t understand why I can’t get with the program and be like them. Though they admit every so often that there are traits I possess they’d pay money to have. We have had many a meeting where we need to make decisions which I sometimes feel (and occasionally say) need more thought and analysis. I now realize that I must find space through the cacophony of my energy-bunny colleagues noise, to share my thoughts. Those thoughts help no one else if they remain in my head!

    As clearly pointed out, Mels are the perfectionist yet insecure leaders. That’s a problem right there; before 9.30 am this morning if anyone dared brand me as insecure, I’d have taken offence. I have my act together, how can I be insecure?? In the few minutes of absorbing the message this morning while feeling like everyone in the sanctuary was staring at me, that myth was stripped and I saw myself as I am.

    I have to say however that I credit my kids for loosening me up. Any Mel parents will agree that wanting to keep your house and any other stuff sparkling and not an inch out of place when you have young kids is like standing in the way of the Nile. I have had to adjust and lower my standards so that my kids can be kids. Otherwise I’d be trying to make them act 30 when the oldest has just turned 3! My wife on the other hand gets frustrated with me to no end as she trys to get a compliment from me. Many are the times she’ll come home from the salon, or don a new outfit then give me “that” look. David just stares back, unsure what is expected. It goes something like this:
    Wifey: “Haven’t you noticed?”.
    David: “What?”
    Wifey: “You can’t see anything different?”
    David: “Oh, the hair? Its nice”.
    Wifey – speaking out: “Ok, thanks”
    Wifey – thinking inside: “Grrrrrr!!! I sat there for 4 hours to look this good and all you can manage is “its nice????”. What does a girl have to do to be told she looks fabulous??”

    I have a lot to do to fix my ugly shadows. I can however confirm this without fear of contradiction, whoever was in-charge of putting up the sermon notes on the screen this morning (1st service) is nothing close to a Mel. Despite Yafesi’s characterization, he/she went ahead to put up the bullet points in a cocktail of fonts and in mis-matched underlines!! Which made me very uncomfortable in my seat; then I smiled and reminded myself that if everyone was of one temperament, the world would be too orderly:)

    To all the Mels repeat after me: “Hello, my name is [your name] and I am a melancholic!”

    Thanks again Pastors M & C for the way God is using you to touch lives.

    Like

  6. I feel you David!! 🙂

    Like

  7. Im “Wifey” in “David’s” post there. I could not make it to church today but this is one time I wish I could have moved heaven n earth to be there. David was really ‘touched’ by this sermon. Pastor M, for me to really admit this after leaving with him for X no of years, trust me… u did something right. He is A Perfectionist!!! This is one sermon he did have the other side of the coin or 10 others sides to…
    I can’t wait to download and hear what was preached today. “Wifey” will be glad to see where the missing links are…
    Blessings
    “W”;)

    Like

  8. Yaani I have no words for that sermon. It was so loud and clear. I got work to do in addressing my DARK SIDE! Now down to work….starting with ensuring that the house doesn’t have to be arrange symmetrically:-)

    Like

  9. Amazing. Totally blown away by the attention-gripping sermon. I saw myself in more instances than I can count. Though I know I am a melancholic I had never heard about the dark side of it and sunday’s sermon was an eye opener. I had noticed a pattern in my life,such that at least once every year I have a serious bout with low moods, to the extent it almost paralyses me physically, the last one being around June or July last year. For three weeks I did not want to see a living being and more or less kept to myself. I was in university then and that means I did not attend classes. I did not understand what that was all about, I even cannot remember how I got out of it, but after your sermon, I now understand what was going on. I love music and without a doubt it uplifts me. Therefore, like Saul did, music is the way to go when this threatens to happen again. A word to my fellow mels …PRAISE THE LORD! OH MY SOUL AND ALL THAT IS WITHIN ME PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME!!! Oh! and by the way, I did not know that memorising is a strength!!! I actually said all those verses done during the service by heart!!! I had not realised that I had memorised them!!!! Interesting!! I will definitely put that to good use.
    Thanks, Pastors M & C, I will definitely be there on sunday!!! cant wait!!!

    Like

  10. pastor m and pastor c, do we have to wait a WHOLE week till sunday?!jana’s sermon was about me im a sang-mel and have struggled with my dark side wondering if there was something wrong with me!im drawn to mels 4one reason or another!i live with a mel sister have a mel father was engaged to a mel!haha sermon helped me understand my rollercoaster of a life!greatest thing i took home with me was i should not let my mood be dictated by circumstances or situations..the joy of the Lord IS my strength 24-7 365!amen God bless u mightily-till sunday!:)

    Like

  11. I have read about personality traits and dismissed them, seeing them then as only an avenue to excuse our behaviours. That is until this month. The sermons have been eye openers. The quetionaire to establish personalities an aha moment. I have used the questionaires in my business and have seen it as powerful tool that has enabled brilliant people to come to appreciate one anothers as well as their own strengths an weaknesses. With the insights gained we are seeking to support play each one to their strengths and offer support in mitigating weakness. It has brought new energy to the team.

    I am a Melchol, strong on the mel with legendary moodswings and very low on giving praise. The sermon was a challenged to me especially the example of King Saul. I could mess up my destiny, career, family etc. I am thankful to Pastor Linda for her testimony of what allows us to make the change. Being filled with God’s Spirit and His word. I am walking this path but it is an uphil task for me. The Mel demands perfection from self and hence see what in not achieved not the progress. My prayer and faith is in continued growth especially in affirming and appreciating my wife.
    I have found these sermons as very liberating. I am in a position of leadership and have often tried to lead as Cholerics do with little success. I have began to appreciate what I can bring to the table and play to my strength. Thank you Pastor M and Pastor C for being giving of yourselves in this way. May I suggest that you consider how to make it part of the Mizzizi ezperience. I believe it would enable many to come to a place of service as they understand themselves and their gifts better.

    God Bless

    Like

  12. I am loving this series, it is really helping me understand myself, my spouse, my friend & colleagues which seemed to be an equation that i could not decipher! Its making me get ready for the people who will walk into my life in the future.

    P.S. What happened to breakthrough? When does the service happen?

    Like

  13. Ha! Ha! Ha!

    The person doing the slides… I kept on wondering what was going on… But variety is the spice of life…

    Sling N Stone… For a long time I thought I was a weirdo! and especially after watching “The Monk”… I was convinced I have a medical condition!

    Ha! Ha! Ha! It was nice to laugh… and be laughed at…

    Like

  14. It was my first time to be at Mavuno church and Im speechless! At some point I turned to my pal and asked him “did they know I was coming?” I am a mel and have struggled with my personality for awhile. Yesterday’s sermon made me realise somethings; for starters i am not alone and secondly, i learnt to trade all my sorrows and pain for the joy and love of the Lord. I HAVE NO DESIRE TO EVER MISS SERVICE AGAIN! thank you Mavuno!!

    Like

  15. Oxford,
    your not alone with the Monk vibe……..I thought i needed a shrink!! kumbe all i need is the Lord…..ajabu sana!!!

    Like

  16. i recently joined Mavuno in July 2008 when i moved into the neighbourhood and i have seen God work wonders in those few weeks. The sermon was indeed for me, i fully undestood myself and also why i dread those ” turn to your neighbour sessions”. i am a serious melan with a touch of choleric and amazingly last week, i went through the hardest week in my life. Everything seemed to go wrong, so much for my organisation. i went into deep analysis though at the time i thought i was running mad. i analysed, tore issues apart, my stomach and my head ached coz of thinking too much. i turned away people who tried to cheer me up, put on music to lift my spirit, it was the longest week and i kept telling God i can’t take it any more. But surprisingly the same scripture of Phil 4:6-8 is the one God kept reminding me of and to hear Pastor M make us say the same verse was just confirming that God had to tear me apart during that week to make me fully understand the sermon on Sunday. So i stood up for prayer at the end of the service and by 3p.m on Sunday afternoon, i got phone calls, met people and everything came together with my joy fully restored. i am on a thanksgiving fast today because God is amazingly wonderful. May God bless you abndantly.

    Like

  17. Has “bin laden” with a big burden. Brilliant, yet compassionate, analytical yet condescending, passionate, yet has “murderously” high standards. He should have been there for the sermon.

    Just wanted to say that I saw bits of myself in there, I think its my secondary but will only be able to conclude once I hear about the Phlegs.

    Thanks Pastor C and M

    Like

  18. @ Chicdi: I feel you on that “turn to your neighbour” story. Can we sign a petition to prohibit Pastors and others on stage from pulling that move ever again:)?

    Like

  19. and err…could we change the font from black and orange to something like a white background with black lettering….

    Like

  20. Damsel in distress Says:

    Hi. Yesterday’s sermon was really powerful. I am partially a melancholic but i have a friend (who is actually darting me that is a major melancholic) wah…sometimes i just want to dodge him, He over analyses stuff and then shoots down everything. He has a negative spirit, sitting next to him just depresses you. Is there hope for such people coz he has drove me up the wall n now i just feel that am breaking. Even tried avoiding him, it doesn’t work…he still ends up stalking me.

    Like

  21. Am a san mel…and i have struggled with wanting to be used of God and yet i feel so easily put down and shy to be acknowledged.i laughed through part of the series and also cried(ok yah we also cry easily…?do we? or is it jus me? OHKEY!)ANYWHOOO i tested the praise and worship strategy to overcome moodiness and it worked like powerfoam…i woke up today energized and refreshed and i thank God for his patience with me. i will try not to be overwhelmed by my circumstances and trade in my sorrows for the Joy of the Lord…i am also doing Mizizi and God is really accelerating me to growth…its abit painful and i do have to deal with alot in one go, but greater is He that is in me then He that is in the world!

    Like

  22. to damsel in distress…..PRAY! wah..i know it sounds over shpiri but manze when u cant hack…ask God to sort you out..heheheheh….

    Like

  23. first may i say that mavuno church rocks!!! ive been attending a small boring church for the last 18 yrs, i guess my future will be better than my past! the sermon on mels really enlightened me, coz now i understand that their moodiness is unintentional and that you just have to give them time to deal with it. i normally take SERIOUS offence when someone acts moody, i feel like i can unleash world war 3 on them! i’ll try and be more accomodating of mels from now on.

    Like

  24. That sermon was WOW! I am a Mel, now I know every character was meant to discover and develop our full potential in serving God and mankind. All we have to do is obey, the rest God will make a WAY.

    Like

  25. Yesterday was my first day at Mavuno, I liked of all the other things, the sermon. It’s so practical and I can easily relate it to my every day life.
    Yes…….’what you focus on, will determine how far you go’. Very true, and even if I will not get another chance to be at Mavuno, I will always remember this statement and it will always be a guide in my life wherever I go.

    Like

  26. Hey Pastor M & C,

    This is my second visit to the church and what a welcome.

    As i listened to the sermon i knew that was me! What was funny is, as i thought of my weaknesses i realized i even procrastinate in an orderly manner.

    I just landed a new job, as the head of a department in a big multinational, this is what i have always longed for, now that im there, im battling insecurities, will i be confirmed? will they see thru my faults? will i manage? feels like im in extended dream

    Back to orderly procrastination…… i live 10 minutes away from the office, so i put my alarm on for 6. 15 and keep putting it off every ten minutes, eventually, i will end up waking up at 7.30 but still in time for work!

    I liked the end of the sermon, knowledge is power, now that i know my weakness with God, im on a reformist path

    Like

  27. 2nd time in the church, i actually got there at 11am just to realize the church has grown to 2 services!!! listening to the 3 pastors blessed my heart and now i know i need to work on my moods n appreciate my colleagues suggestions instead of dismissing them and sucking there energy in the boardroom. though i wont be around next wkend i cant wait to fully be a member of your family. see u next sunday bt one.

    Like

  28. im a phleg with moments of melancholic-ness. the party description was on-point, totally me. was encouraged to hear that Pastor Linda brings positive energy to the office-there is hope for us all.
    i shant be the life of the party (which i have/had always wished i could be)but i wont bring any one down either.
    and also despite my mel-ness, God gave me the gift of encouragement. talk about knowing me from my moms womb. Jesus Rocks 🙂

    Like

  29. Damsel in distress Says:

    Klm, praying sounds like a good idea…yaani i have prayed but u know he is also praying that God may deliver me on a platter for him…but I just can’t stand his Melancholic ways…am so frustrated about Him.

    Like

  30. Susan Kariuki Says:

    Hi,
    I can’t believe i sent my comments to the ‘Famous cholerics’ column.What was i thinking?Anyway this was indeed an eye opener for me, finally understanding my personality.What made it even more exciting is that the sermon couldnt have come at a better time in my life.I keep telling people, this will probably be the best and the worst year of my life.i am on the road to self discovery;my past is hooking up with my present to make way for my future.Keep up the good work Pastor Muriithi and Pastor Carol.

    Like

  31. Yesterday I laughed and I then I cried…Wa! Oh dear..what have I been putting myself and my husband through with my issues as a mel? I prayed and asked for my husband’s forgiveness after the service in front of one of the prayer counselors. I also had to forgive myself for being so hard on myself for the times when I couldn’t let myself receive love, compliments, friendships…I can finally work on me cause I know I am defined in the Bible and better yet I am not alone.

    Mavuno, you have no idea what you are doing for people like me by being so accepting and reassuring of all of us flaws and all. I have made a vow to be better wife, a better mother, a better boss and more important to love and accept ME because I don’t want to destroy all my gifts from God with my insecurities. God bless you Pastor M and C for what you are doing

    Like

  32. The sermon yesterday about melancholys being reflective and looking ahead in time was on point.When I was reflecting on it in the evening,it reminded me of a story that was told about how rats held a meeting on how to contain the cat.Everybody gave their ideas and 1 idea seemed to be very popular with every rat present.They agreed that they should hand a bell around the cat’s neck so that every time the cat approaches they would hear and scamper for safety.All rats tossed to that great idea.However 1 rat seemed unexcited and they asked him why he was so quiet after such a breakthrough.He asked them reflectively ‘”who will hang the bell on the cat’s neck?”the party ended abruptly.That rat must have been a melancholy for sure.Thanks Pastor Mureithi and Pastor Carol for those deep insight.You may never know how much you are helping us understand ourselves.

    Like

  33. Yaani Cyrus your comment has cracked me up!!

    I sooooooo totally feel the rat story!! 🙂

    Like

  34. I’ve just come from affirming a choleric in our investment group whose zeal and domination led our group in the wrong strategic direction and incured massive losses.

    He was being taken down for the losses by other cholerics and mels who had been put off by him and had been watching from the side and thank God for this sermon on the dark side of leadership, I saw the good side of his personality and came to his defence.

    I had been warming up to join the party to finish him when this series happened, after which i realised it was all about his personality and that he has a great side to him. I trust God that he will give us the grace to forgive each other and help us to pick up the pieces and continue together again.

    Thanks Pr M & C

    Like

  35. Anonymous Says:

    First of all I Love your approach so im definitely coming back!…Melancholy?can definitely relate,but let me not make up my mind now,two more services this month.Bigup

    Like

  36. Came across the poem below, does it describe some of your days?

    “I don’t know why I am so sad.
    This is a puzzle I cannot solve.
    Why am I lost?
    Where can I lay the blame?

    But while I brood I’m not alone,
    Melancholy sits with me. An odd friend
    who shares my grief with a sad half-smile
    and never fails to remind me of all my regrets.

    Dolorous daydreams bring me reminders
    of every fault or failure, even those too slight to be seen.
    All piled together in the oppressive weight of the downpour,
    And all I can do against it is walk on in the rain. “

    Like

  37. @angie..i also have the gift of encouragement maybe coz we are able to analyse and see ahead…so i think we should build on that as well..at least i will.

    Like

  38. My comments are not being published. I have tried a couple of times.

    Like

  39. It seems I cannot post my long comment, after copying and pasting.

    Well, I was just waiting for this service because I am a strong melancholy. All the descriptions just fit. And lets not go into the moods!I even introduced myself to my ekklessia as ” prone to depression”. I now know we can suppress/work on our negatives and focus on our positives.
    I also discovered that writing calms my soul. I created a personal blog just to let it all out when I was suffering from depression. It really helped.
    I totally feel the monk thing! I call myself a hermit sometimes. And imagine I am quite happy when am alone!
    As for the ” turn to your neighbour thing” I feel that too! Let’s not even start on the ” Lets hold hands and pray” It drives me crazy!
    Now I understand why. I also understand why I dont like crowds/parties and those annoying cocktails where you have to have small talk! Why i fear presentations, why I cant speak when a whole group of people is talking, why I sometimes want to be alone, why I love pets- you dont have to talk to them!,why I like my space, why i cry sometimes- usually during extreme makeover home edition(now that is crazy!) , why i don’t want to get up on some mornings ……… so many but working on them.Asking God to walk with me!
    Things that have worked for me:
    Prayer- It works
    Gratitude- you have so much to be thankful for
    Pets- unconditional love!
    The beach- solace!
    Exercise(produces “happy hormones” – endorphins)
    Flowers to myself- appreciate you!
    The Secret- the law of attraction- you only attract what you perceive. Focus on positive energy
    And sometimes my psychologist

    I know sometimes for a Melancholic its seems so difficult to get through life sometimes but there is hope! Thank you Pastor Muriithi. Thank you Pastor Carol and Pastor Linda for being “perfect” examples!
    Think of incorporating this series in Mizizi as suggested.

    Visit http://www.oneishy.com for free personality tests
    Strengths of a Melancholy
    http://www.oneishy.com/personality/melancholy_strengths.php

    Also do the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment which is a psychometric test- you will get more insight into who you are, what careers suit you etc. Used often by many employers.

    Like

  40. It rejects the copy paste thing. Vile I had written a scroll! Anyway I feel you all and there is hope for us!

    Like

  41. Tenacious Says:

    Pole Joy… Dont give up the work of doing good:o) to this blog! Do try again and again… until your comments are posted

    Like

  42. Yesterday’s was my first service at Mavuno (which i almost missed) and what a breath of fresh air !!!! I now understand why I see five different reasons why something could go wrong, why somtimes i feel like shrinking when in a crowd for no reason at all, and why sometimes I can be hard on myself and others for not getting something right. I have sometimes been told by my family i that i worry too much or bring negative energy, and this was frustrating but not anymore….

    I liked the sermon delivery it was interesting and forthright enough for me to see how others perceive me, yet so approving of me and reassuring, that I accept myself and feel confident enough to control my flaws. I am definitely coming back next sunday and on time!

    Like

  43. My first time at Mavuno and I daresay not disappointing. I came with my deep, analytical skills and high expectations about the church. I must admit at first I was a bit disappointed. Not until the Pastor(s) began talking about what seemed to be “me”, did I realize that God had miraculously caused me to be at the right place at the right at the right time. I withdraw my comments which I had earlier inserted in the offering bag about being undecided on whether I would like to be part of Mavuno. I bet you you will be seeing me and my family there next week and in future. My final take on this subject was “A sermon in time saves more than nine”.

    Like

  44. I really want to hear more about the ‘fatherless generation’ i am a single mum to be and really need some guidance. how do i get involved in the teachings? Last week’s sermon on Cholerics really touched a spot in me as i understood so much about a certain relationship which has gone all wrong. many tears happened for me, and so much clarity. so thanks, and God bless you wondrously!

    Like

  45. After trying so many of these personality tests and getting varied answers at each try…Yesterdays point on what we focus on determines how far we go. I guess that with each experience good or bad, my personality has adjusted to that situation in my life….Relying on the unchanging God to transform our personality for His Glory is life changing

    Like

  46. Judy Mwangi Says:

    Let me get something straight here……. pastor M & Beautiful C,…Yani how could you just discuss me like that as if i wasn’t the house? You must have come straight from an appointment with my maker right before the 12 o’clock sermon…just to discuss me…n then you come to his hau n toanisha me like that…..thinking i’m not in the Hau,n you actually went on about how much you were thrilled that you managed to do this behind my back…..n i(soooo….Melancholy)end up being there. Man……God truly bless you guys……..you are just the best,,,,,Yaani you were so accurate about me…….still leaves me mesmerised…….God truly directed me here…..Aahh…Sisemi kitu!

    Like

  47. Yaani.i was blown away,bamboozled!!!I was laughing at me and listening to the two pastors discussing me mæn!One word can send me into a dark mood for hours.I see conspiracies everywhere,I’m uncomfortable with new people,and things have to be a certain way.I’d rather pile up clothes for two weeks than not wash,rinse and hang them in the closet in a particular way.Basically I’m a master procrastinator coz it has to be a certain way and if it can’t be that way I won’t start.
    And the thing about fonts and bullets…I can spend hours checking paragraph alignments and spaces and page numbers…yaani,no comment.
    Now I see why my choleric brother gets so annoyed at me when I bug him about details.
    Now I see why my melancholic dad goes into depression so easily and has to wash his cup twice with boiling hot water before he can use it and won’t go for any kind of gathering unless he absolutely has to.
    Now I understand why I’m so orderly and deliberate and why I feel like I’m the only one who can see when someone in the family is hurting.eh!Kunisengenya hivyo church si poa.Mnanitoa rangi!
    I hope that I will use what I learnt yesterday to become a woman after God’s heart,to forgive myself even when I feel like the devil’s spawn and to accept God’s forgiveness.
    I hope I won’t use what I’ve learnt to excuse mood swings,unnecessary criticism and procrastination.
    I thank God for the day he made me step into Mavuno this year.This month’s series is jus a…wow!

    Like

  48. I jus thought of something.Lol!I even know my age in terms of days and I’m constantly double checking it to make sure it’s correct.And all my journals are named,each with a logical reason for it’s name.Ha!ha!Monk and I are like twins yaani.

    Like

  49. I am such a melancholic, ha ha tho its my secondary personality
    i have had moodiness, unrealistic demands, u name it and i am always seeking to know myself better so i knew and understood my personality at a really young age
    what encourages me is the gifts that God has given me although they always seem hard to acknowledge. i totally felt Pastor Linda…the way she wants to hide in a room by herself after a sermon…i always feel like that after getting praise or getting an award or something
    and the feeling of dread when i am in a crowded place or at a party is part and parcel of my personality
    but what really encouraged me is the fact that pastor Linda is a mel who can really connect with people. i never thought she was a mel and to see her, such an anointed preacher who can speak to people and inspire them gave me hope that it’s not only extroverts who can connect with people in such a powerful way…it gave me hope
    thank you mavuno, cant wait for the Phlegmatic sunday!

    Like

  50. Sweetie why are you hooting, the guys is indicating? Why do you keep changing the radio/tv channels?
    Please don’t throw things every where, where are you hurrying to just drive pole pole.
    Who left this here? And the best compliment is always not bad! Etc
    Now that’s me, You should have seen my hubby eyes broadening on affirmation as Pastor C and M enlightened us about the MELS coz I am such a strong one no doubt.
    I must say thanks and I appreciate coz we have been married for 5 months now and this series is just helping us a whole load. He is a strong choleric on the other hand!
    Baraka guys and keep it up.

    Like

  51. one of my best friends is undeniably a very strong mel. we shared a room in campus and she drove us all crazy with her neatness and preciseness etc etc which we all put down as her being pedantic. in the recent past, she has suffered from severe depression, and kept away from us, since we all had busy lifestyles, we accepted her excuses that she was always busy. Around the same time, another friend who i now recognise as being melancholic, suffered depression and took her own life (she withdrew from her friends and became so standoffish that it was easy to avoid her thinking- “she is just being difficult or, she doesnt even like hanging out with people anyway”). this week’s sermon really struck a deep cord with me. it made me re-examine the people around me who are melancholic and how i relate to them. Am going to be sensitive to our differences and on the one hand respect the fact that not everyone is a party animal all the time, but also that when a person has the blues, i can be there for them without crowding them.
    Pastor Linda- am sorry for stalking you after service enquiring endlessly about how you are doing.

    Like

  52. Mel Survivor Says:

    Pastor M & C! Ya’ll are the bomb! My boss is the epitome of all Mels! And I am his exact opposite. The service just affirmed my technique in dealing with him. I actually send him music which seems to do the trick. More so, when he’s Mel ways attempt to bring me down, I come to my office put on my headphones and turn up the music- Micah Stampley is awesome. And chant the song… Ima stay saved… then walk out and smile!

    P.S: 12 o’clock service is the best thing ever since chocolate, it brought my sister who hasn’t been to church in yonks to church! Thank you so much

    Barikiweni

    Like

  53. Anonymous Says:

    Dear Pastor’s M & C,

    It was my first time at Mavuno and I was really impressed by the service. I really loved the design, decor and the worship.

    I haven’t been to church in quite a while because I always felt I was being manipulated and being made to live an unrealistic life, but after listening to the different sermons and observing all you guys, it was like a “Eureka” moment… I was saying to myself, “I found it, I found it” cos this is what I’ve been searching for for a long time. Finally Christianity made sense.

    I also listened to the free cd we were given and now I understand the vision of Mavuno and I want to be a part of it, which is why I have enrolled for the Mizizi classes, beacuse this time I want to make a serious covenant with God, cos you guys showed me that Christianity is worth living.

    I also listened to some of the sermons on the mavuno website and they are so deep.

    Thanks to all of you for choosing to obey God, because I am the life that was changed.

    Like

  54. Melchronic Says:

    Much as I hate to admit it, I am most certainly a chronic Mel.

    So there I was listening to the sermon (last Sunday) with the typical Mel “sura ya kazi” look. When all of a sudden, Pastor M mentioned how Mels just don’t understand why the rest don’t get it. I almost flew off my seat to scream “FINALLY, Somebody Gets It!”

    But as life would have it, crippled by shyness, I simply cracked a smile and let the powers that be (shyness) take over me.

    Pastor Carol, I must applaud you for taking the time to come up with the temperament chart because like many Mels in here, I honestly thought I was born dysfunctional. Kudos to you for opening my eyes to what I thought was a genetic modification gone wrong 🙂

    I feel you guys on the “turn to your neighbour” routine. To be put on the spot and actually turn to another human being, engage in conversion that mind you, you haven’t fully “analyzed” through yet, is mind crippling. At that moment, most Mels probably want to run for the hills, given a dose of courage.

    Imagine with me if you will, an orderly seating arrangement with labels such as Mel’s Corner, Sang’s Corner…hint hint, nudge nudge 🙂

    Thank you Mavuno Team for this wonderful series and the style in which you deliver Gods Message. Kudos to all of you.

    Like

  55. Pastor M & Pastor C

    To be sincere it feels as if the two of you sat down and psycho analysed me. When we were asked is that you? My answer was Yes and the person seated next to me looked straight into my eyes and asked ‘What made you this kind of person?’ The anwer was I was a victim of MELS and they were successful. As we were taught learn from the people you repect most for me it was alwas my Dad and my Bosses current and previous believe you me they were all and are still Mels.

    Come to think of it i’ve always given credit to my current boss by telling people he didnt get there by sheer luck but now that i know the definition of a MEL thats him. And guess what yes as Mels we are insecure; we fear failure and once we attain success we fear losing it all hence 100% insecurity.

    I guess another trait of a mel when i look at myself is that we get easily bored. I love getting things done and when they’re fixed i start looking for something else to work on. Guess what when i came to worship at Mavuno there are loads of things i wanted to fix talk about taking it to the next level. I even had a chat with Amani and told him how we could do this and that in a better and different way to be more effective 🙂 he was kind enough to listen.

    I can truly give a testimony of a Mel who needs conversion to be a blessing to the world. And i cant say enough of a thank you for showing us our character traits. You can imagine living with a person who insists that the house has to be done in a way that even if power goes off i can get up get a match stick and candle in the dark all because the house is perfectly laid out the way i want it to be and it never changes 24-7 365 days a year unless i change it. It helps but when i look at it the stress people take from me is awesome both at work and home – how they survive i dont know. My son who’s only 9 is turning into a Mel due to my influence.

    My son, my household, my family and community as a whole will definately see a change in me and what a blessed change it will be as it will be driven by the word of God.

    Thank you for being a blessing to us and giving us the tools to be the fearless influencers we want to be.

    God bless Mavuno and Most of all Our Pastoral Team!!!

    Like

  56. This poem is dedicated to:
    – my fellow mels… following Pst. Linda encouragement, let us hide God’s word in our hearts that we may not sin against Him (Ps.119:11)
    – our relaz (the phlegs, chols and sangs – dont give up the habit of helping us become fearless influencers in this society!)

    The LORD bless you!

    The LORD bless…
    The revelation of your eyes;
    May you gently chastise, breaking not any ties.

    The LORD bless…
    The proclamation of your lips;
    May you give great tips, causing not any rips.

    The LORD bless…
    The competition of your feet;
    May you procrastination defeat, opportunity wanting to meet.

    The LORD bless…
    The occupation of your hands;
    May you create many a-great-brands, bringing too sufficient rands.

    The LORD bless…
    The attention of your ears;
    May He wipe away your tears, chasing plus your fears.

    The LORD bless…
    The meditation of your heart;
    May it cause you no hurt, but laughter and growing fat! – K N Kazi

    Like

  57. Anonymous Says:

    I am a melancholic. Sitting in the service last sunday and listening to the Pastors talk about the temperaments was like unveiling the mask that defines me. I was particularly encouraged by Pastor C’s courage and prayerfulness and for the support Pastor M has given her. Hearing Pastor M say that what we focus on determines how far we go was so deep I shed tears. And for Pastor L, you are trully a blessing.I can relate so much with you and your experiences in life and I would really want to thank you for bearing yourself to us to be a source of inspiration and hope. I have struggled with many issues in my life from my marriage, my relationship with others and my career.I am deeply insecure in my workplace inspite of being among the top producers and have failed to see the bigger picture.I have been unapprecaitive of my husband and nothing he ever does is good enough.I have focused on the negatives and judged him harshly. Im a closed person and will often keep away from new friendships for fear of getting hurt. My depressive nature has hindered me for a long time after I went thru a painful expirence that I would call my deepest failure. Let me say that Mavuno is the best thing that has happened to us since my family and I started coming 5 months ago. Our lives have changed.My husband has not missed a single sunday since, yet this is the first time for him in church since sunday school days. Its not a coincidence that we are here and I know that God is calling me to his full submission. Its overwhelming and am still struggling with many issues.I know that soon I shall find my bearing.I look forward to participating more in Mavuno activities. We are glad we found a home church!Be blessed good people and keep doing the work of the Lord.You are surely being equiped to transform the continent of Africa and beyond.

    Like

  58. Tony Muramba Says:

    Hi Pastor M & Pastor C. I realised i was one of the most prolific melancholics ever to have graced the face of planet earth after the sermon on sunday. At time I could think that without me at the office, work could not go on. I could keep off taking leave until later in the year just to make sure that everything was in check. At times I work late to ensure ‘everything is smooth’ for the following day.

    But now I know, with this sermon, I feel like the Lord, like in a game of chess, is telling me ‘Check mate’. I am taking things abit slow.

    Thanks Pastor C & M, indeed you are transforming us for the market place / work place. God bless you all

    Like

  59. hey i was having one of my mel moments then i thought why not go to the mavuno blog.so here i am i primary mel wuth a bit of choleric,though sometimes i’ve questioned God as to why i have to struggle with depression and deal with insecurities. well i’ve come to realize that God has given me a lot of gifts,creativity,compassion and so much more that if i never had the downside- pride would be the order of the day in my life but with my downside i know that i NEED God that i have to depend on him every day that i have to walk with Him because if i do not i would not survive, i would not make it thru the many harrowing experiences that mel’s face,but on the bright side i liked the sermon as it challenged me to use the gifts i have for God’s glory,for His kingdom and the purposes for which He bestowed them unto me.And to rejoice because i am truly Beautifully,wonderfully,creatively and uniquely made.

    Like

  60. Another thing which anon touched on is that it’s pretty easy for a mel to get suicidal.bila jokes.my dad’s a mel.i’ve been really down and it’s only last weekend,pure coincidence coz my family go to a different church,th@ my mum called to ask me on sunday whether i’m ok.my family’s not emotional so i took th@ chance and told her all i’m going thru and i think she freaked coz she’s gotten me a counsellor now.i wouldn’t say i’m depressed but i was getting there.what got me was that my dad called to encourage me and somewhere along the way,through his life,he’s almost taken his life a few times.and he said only God kept him from doing it.when i was younger i attempted suicide twice,in primary school of all places.one would ask what did i have to be so stressed about but even i don’t really know.fortunately i was too young to know how to do it properly.
    So now i’ll pray really hard that i do manage to open up enough to be helped coz i LOATHE telling people what’s really happening with me.sunday’s sermon helped me realise i’m not an oddity and i’m grateful to my dad for opening up about his insecurities on the same day.May God continue speaking through the pastoral team in ways that continue to bamboozle us with His love

    Like

  61. Anonymous Says:

    Hey all, thanks so much for all the comments! Truly melancholies are deep and reflective people. Truly Mavuno would be a much poorer place if there were no mels! I was thinking again about what Pst. Linda shared about… how reflecting on the higher truth becomes a gateway to our being filled with God’s joy. Here are a couple of verses that echo this truth…

    Isa.26:3 You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.

    Habakkuk3:17-19: Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, 18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. 19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains

    Have a blessed rest of the week! Pst. M

    Like

  62. A few years ago I fell into an inexorable and severe depression… I finally visited a counselor whom I asked if this “feeling” would end; she said YES. And it surely came to pass…

    I have learnt stuff happens and we have the choice to let a situation to leech us or teach us…

    Several years after that, I acquired relentless mood swings, the King Saul Version, coupled with needless pessimism… My mandate as a Christian made me desire this to come to pass…

    I have learnt that people, including me, want to be around the happy and not the grumpy…

    I am now, and for the longest time been, battling with severe esteem issues… The sermon made me realize how I have continued to sabotage my own life. (This was my machozi moment) I don’t know when but I know this too shall come to pass…

    I am learning that…
    – I must read and believe the word of God and what is says I am (not the dictionary!)
    -The Lord has gifted me and by focusing and using my strengths, I no longer have time for pity parties!
    -Relationships are everything and it is in service and being with people that I have greatest joy!

    To Pastors M, C & L, thanks for such a relevant and timely sermon. To all the bloggers, thanks for keeping it real… Blessings y’all!

    Like

  63. Just forgot to mention something that has really helped me…

    Some time last year I decided to keep a journal… I write in it when I feel I have issues that are bugging me and are just not going away. I then write possible positive solutions and end in written prayer of faith…

    And its amazing to go back and say God you truly have sorted me, helped me grow, and this one I am still trusting you… Its also amazing to see how positive I have become.

    Blessings y’all. Cant wait for Sunday…

    Like

  64. Hey Pastor M & C. You guys are doing a good work with the personality temperaments. My story is simply that my Dad taught me how to be a perfect melancholic: Life’s 3 mottos ARE and have always been:

    a) A place for EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING in its place
    b) Failing to PLAN is planning to FAIL (beginner’s luck NOTWITHSTANDING!)
    c) EVERYTHING for a REASON

    Almost all aspects of my life have revolved around these 3 mottos: Education, my digz, office work (and don’t forget the desk), files in your computer, finances, friends… you name it… lets just say everything is planned for and if it is an unavoidable eventuality, then it shall be appropriately managed. After all, who wants to be surprised?

    However, Issues, I have. And the melancholy in me does not help either. Or at least that is what I have learnt… Every problem is looked at just like yet another mathematical simultaneous equation to solve: JUST FIND “X”. I have seen (the hard way, unfortunately) that that does not always work. Especially with matters on feelings and emotions. So now I know that life is not 1 long formula. When I cannot find “X”, there is a higher authority who can show it to me, or even better, throw that “X” away and give you something else that’s easier, better and greater.

    That sermon was a mouthful to process… My mind is stuck on ‘still processing…’ mode. When I am done (god help me!), I hope to give updates of serious improvement, especially where I have been relying on my strengths, my planning and my ways, yet still Failed. Watch this space: PRAISE REPORTS COMING SOON!!!

    PS: Sorry… had to run spell-checker before hitting “Submit Comment”!! Only the word “DIGZ” is not correct English: Ti hiii hiiii!

    Josh!

    Like

  65. better late than never right. and besides i procrastinate so that my response may be perfect. the sermon was so helpful got to see myself through someone else’s eyes. am obsessed with perfection in fact i never expect much because i think people will disapoint me and am not that demanding i hope if someone is gonna do something they should do it well right. but coming to mavuno over the past few weeks av learned that i too am not perfect and if there is one person i can count on its God.
    Philippians 4:6-8 has been a lifesaver for me and my dark moments are a thing of the past. Thank you pastor mureithi and pastor carol may the Lord continue to bless you and may you also continue to be a blessing to others.

    Like

  66. Muthoni G Says:

    Dear Mavuno Church: I attended your service for the first time last sunday when Pastor M & C were speaking on the “Reluctant leader”. I really appreciated the sermon because of the practical lessons being taught about the various temperaments. However I just thought that it might be helpful to point out that I thought there were some errors in the analysis of Moses as a reluctant leader. I hope that I do not come accross as sounding as “Ms Know it all” as that is not my intention. I have read a lot of books by Tim La Haye and he analyzes Moses as a Melancholy and not a phlegmatic. It is possible that Moses’ secondary temperament may have been phlegmatic but I think his predominate one was melancholy based on the following evidence:
    1. The verses Pastor M used to defend Moses as a Phlegmatic from Exodus 3 & 4 where Moses was trying to avoid responsibility of leadership is a little tricky as it could apply to both a phleg or melancholy due to their character of fear. However I think the difference between them would be in their responses. Whereas a phleg would tend to avoid a leadership responsibility through “tactful stubborness” such as procrastination, or asking for time to think about it. A melancholy on the other hand would engage in verbal analysis and self -depreciating comments which is what seems to be in this conversation by Moses.
    2. The strongest evidence that Moses was predominately a Melancholy than a phleg is his constant anger that sometimes even bordered on violence for example the breaking of the 10 commandments tablets when he came down from the mountain and found the Israelites worshipping the Golden Calf (Numbers 20). We also see his anger when he strikes the rock rather than speaking to get water as commanded by God . This would be very uncharacteristic of a phleg.
    3. We also see a self-sacrificing nature and a cause for justice when he kills an Egyptian to protect a Hebrew. Again this is very characteristic of a mel and not a phleg.
    4. Finally when Moses is appointed a judge to settle disputes, Jethro his father in law notices how tired he is and asks him to delegate. Again only a mel will tire himself to death because of his perfectionistic tendencies. A phleg would have delegated before he is even given the assignment!

    The best example of a phleg character is Abraham. We see his fear when he lies about his wife being his sister so to avoid being killed. He avoids strife with Lots heardsmen (Gen. 13) and asks that they separate for the sake of peace. We see his lack of trust when he agrees to fathers a son with Sarah’s maid servant Hagar (Most likely his wife was a pushy choleric)
    All these are more typical of a phleg than we see in Moses.

    I hope this is helpful…..

    Like

  67. I never thought of myself as a Mel until I listened to the sermon on Mels. I am always analysing myself so that I can get rid of bad habits or characteristics before anyone points them out and it breaks my heart. I hate criticism and it makes me feel so bad. I sometimes struggle with mood swings and there are days I just want to have a big pity party but gratefully my friends and family dont allow me to do that. I have seen the Holy Spirit working in me many times when I am feeling low and I am reminded of a psalm or a verse that helps me to rejoice in the Lord always. I have also learnt to unceasingly pray and talk to God expressing exactly how I feel and it helps me feel better.

    When I have to attend parties – it is one of the most difficult thing, while I can hold one on one conversations comfortable and even manage to crack someone up when the crowd is too big and especially when it comprises people I dont know it just makes my heart race. That explains why I read alot and i always have a book with me because it is at a time like that when I retreat and go to a quiet place and read my books, somehow that makes me feel better. Its funny I never thought of myself as a Mel because when I am with my family I am a sort of different person, I make them laugh I am usually the story teller and the one who says “I love you” to my parents and siblings.

    I am glad that I am slowly discovering myself. Thanks Mavuno, its a joy to know oneself because when we do we know how best to serve God by using our strengths and it also helps us to surrender our weaknesses to God and just work on them. I am looking forward to visiting mavuno more and more.

    Like

  68. Dada Fulani Says:

    I love the series (!) and the comments. Reading the other mel entries is like being at ‘support group’ for me. Im a super mel: mega mood swings, ridiculously high standards and people phobia. Now I know that Im not the only one who asks the ground to open up when meeting new people or at a party surrounded by strangers.
    I was in a really good relationship and turns out that personality conflict was our biggest problem. Here’s the math:MelChol + SanChol = World war 3 when God isnt in control ha ha! Many times during this series I have wished that I knew all this a few months ago. Now every morning I wake up and ask God to give me joy and lift my spirit. I’m trying hard to focus on the positive and asking God to restore my broken relationship.
    It’s not easy this being in ‘rehab’ but I really want to overcome my dark side because I know I’m headed for greatness.

    Like

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: